Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,753,676 members, 6,540,905 topics. Date: Saturday, 16 October 2021 at 11:07 AM

Femmefatale's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Femmefatale's Profile / Femmefatale's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (of 5 pages)

Romance / How Significant Is The Word ‘sorry’? by femmefatale: 4:04am On Apr 01, 2015
People always say I am cynical every time I maintain
that the word sorry is not as powerful as we tend to
make it out to be. I have been called unforgiving,
hard, difficult and many other such names. Call me
what you may, but it is my sincere belief that while
the word sorry is relevant, applicable and powerful in
many situations, it is not a one-drug-cures-all for
every time a person does something wrong.
I find that most people tend to hide behind that word
to shelve responsibility for their actions and
inactions. People think that whatever they do, if they
just say sorry, it makes it all good again. They use
the word sorry as a means of manipulating the injured
party and turning responsibility for the situation over
to them. Well, newsflash! It does not work that way.
Saying sorry is well and good when you say it and
mean it. If a person is truly sorry about the wrong that
they have done to another, they will at the very least
wish to assume responsibility for any damages their
actions might have caused. Being truly sorry means
you want to take away at least some of the pain and
loss that you have caused. You want to make things
good again for the offended party if you can.
Instead people want to say sorry and go back to their
own lives as if nothing ever happened. Such a
response does not take the other person’s loss into
account. They forget that another person’s life might
have been affected negatively, possibly irrevocably by
what they have done.
People must not always pay for their actions. Neither
do I disregard the biblical injunction to forgive those
who offend against us. But being sorry for an offence
against another person should sometimes come with
a share of the responsibility for the damage caused.
The word ‘sorry’, uttered casually is not usually equal
to the loss incurred by the injured party.
A Genuine Expression Of Remorse And Regret
When a person is genuinely remorseful about
something they have done or not done that has
caused hurt to someone else, then saying sorry is an
apt way to express that remorse. This is more so if
the person could not have known before hand that his
actions or inactions would have resulted in the
outcomes that ensued.
Actions taken in good faith that caused damage and
loss to others are covered by this. In such situations,
you find the offender offering some form of restitution
without being prompted. He is genuinely sorry and he
has a desire to alleviate any suffering he might have
caused in any way that he can. While this is not about
the restitution, the genuineness of his remorse is
obvious not only in his words, but by his actions.
When Sorry Doesn’t Wash
1. Repeat Offences
When a person keeps doing the same thing to hurt
another person over and over and he keeps
apologizing, it is obvious that he is not genuinely
sorry for his actions. Genuine remorse comes with the
desire to not only remove the hurt from your actions
but also not to cause further damage. Not matter how
much you apologize, hurting a person again and
again in the same way shows great disregard for their
feelings.
Your repeated actions also show impunity. You say
you are sorry with your words but your actions tell a
story of their own. And what they are really saying is,
‘I really don’t care. I can always do what I want and
later, say sorry.’
It also shows a great degree of selfishness. You are
actually more interested in fulfilling your desires at
the expense of the other person. You know your
actions will cause hurt, but you still do them. There is
no point then to saying you are sorry because you are
not.
2. Expecting Automatic Forgiveness
When a person offers an apology and automatically
expects the other person to accept it, he is not truly
sorry; he is just looking to assuage his own feelings
of guilt. That is when you hear things like, ‘I said I’m
sorry, why are you still acting this way?’ ‘I’ve been
begging you now for weeks, why are you still angry?’
etc.
Genuine remorse recognizes the pain that the
offended party is going through and should be willing
to make allowances for that person to process their
grief.
We all deal with anger and hurt in different ways;
don’t expect anybody else to deal with theirs the way
you would yours. You chose your actions; you cannot
take away their right to choose their reaction. Do not
expect automatic forgiveness or even forgiveness at
your own pace and timing. Respect their right to
choose forgiveness (or not) at their own pace.
3. Actions With Obvious Outcomes
If you knew beforehand that your actions could result
in hurt to another and yet you choose that path,
saying sorry cannot excuse your actions. For
example, a man who cheats on his wife made a
choice to cheat. He cannot honestly claim it was a
mistake because cheating involves considerable
forethought and many opportunities to desist.
Again, it is reasonable to assume that he would have
expected his wife will be hurt by his actions. Can he
now genuinely say he is sorry he cheated? Truth is,
he is mostly not sorry for his actions; he is more
sorry that he got caught.
4. Freedom From Responsibility
Sometimes, people offer apologies just to be free from
the responsibility of what they have done. If for
example I bash a friend’s car while it is on loan to
me, genuine remorse would demand that I at least
offer to pay some of the repair costs. It is most likely
he would refuse such an offer, but in making it, I am
letting him know I understand that my actions have
resulted in some loss to him and I am willing to take
some of the responsibility for that loss.
But you find that most people would apologize and for
them that is the end of it. It probably never occurred
to them that their friend might not be financially able
to fix the car or might have to take money off some
other project to fix it since it was an unplanned
expense.
Others would get real mad in the unlikely event that
their friend actually takes them up on the offer to pay
for the car repairs. This shows that they were never
genuinely sorry. Their apology was to shift
responsibility for the damage to the car (their action)
to another person. A quick question here would be:
suppose it was your car you bashed, would you say
sorry to the mechanic and get him to fix it for sorry?
Though we do not have to pay for every time we do
something wrong, but we can take responsibility for
the times that we can.

****Culled****
Romance / Re: Upload Your Boo Pics Lets See Who Got It Natural by femmefatale: 5:59am On Mar 29, 2015
Aww...can't see my pishure here embarassed embarassed angry
Romance / Re: Will You Stay Away From Sex For Life If Given N2b ? by femmefatale: 4:27pm On Mar 26, 2015
djeezy:
After having kids. Ofcourse yes. embarassed
Yimu
Romance / Re: How Old Are You? Dnt Lie. by femmefatale: 4:24pm On Mar 26, 2015
Hmmm..........thinking. I think i am 30
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 4:24pm On Feb 25, 2015
Chibuke56:

she killed him cooked him and sold him as meat or food for customers in the golden clover. I mean thats just wrong
Tnx a lot..... Yea, it's wrong to feed d customers wt human body(unknown to them) but for Patricio's ending? nah
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 4:21pm On Feb 25, 2015
RikoduoSennin:


She killed him and feed his corpse to Hungry men who came to eat at their restaurant- they ate every part of Patricio till there was none left.

Humberto, Humberto don't leave me! They really ruined Santa's life. At least Barbara and her mother made me Laugh loud enough to forget that the Pizza boy vanished from the last scene.

FH: Sammy must be punished for her carelessness, You know benadicta is your baby does not mean you should forget about the one you are expecting. Fabiola can act - she is just like a fluffy dog one needs to take care of. Verdugo can also act but he needs to realise that Fabiola will only love him after Miquel is dead- he came too late in her life. I am really impressed with Willy's maturity.

Now I am just addicted to only 45 minutes of telemundo.

BA,FP,CL and DMD are among my favorites for now.
Wow!!! Well he deserved it kinda sha. tnx bro.
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 9:09pm On Feb 21, 2015
embarassedI'm gonna miss Broken Angel

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Mercy Aigbe & Husband Cuddle In New Photo by femmefatale: 12:19pm On Feb 20, 2015
Na anywhere e fit stretch e hand go o, na him get Mercy hersef na
kodded:
Were the man left hand they go ? undecided
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 12:15pm On Feb 20, 2015
pls what did Victoria do to Patricio? I missed that episode and i will be at work this weekend too, may not be able to watch the recap
Chibuke56:
aah! victoria victoria victoria crazy sick victoria there were a millions things that could have been done to patricio but that was too cruel. I am sure that even fernanda would not even do something like that.... Poor patricio he always acted like the king of the world but instead he got swallowed by the earth.
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 1:17am On Feb 06, 2015
Cecilia is so inhuman, choiiiii.
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 5:52am On Feb 04, 2015
Jopac:

Nah. I absolutely believe that it was Cecilia who killed Elisa. She is the one with the gun. Isabel cudnt av killed Elisa,what for? Anyway lets keep watching as the truth infolds.
Missed Monday's episode but after watching yesterday's, well.....but you know Telemundo has a way of twisting stories.
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 9:55am On Feb 03, 2015
WIE: Something tells me Cecelia was not the one that shot Elisa and i won't be surprised if it was Isabel, that is if it was actually a woman that shot her. Isabel's motive? I do not know.
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 5:53pm On Jan 21, 2015
benedictac:


since I don't have Yoruba friends and it's obvious you are the only Yoruba friend I have, pls would you be kind enough to help a helpless friend? Interpretation it now before I unfollow! lol
lols.....u can unfollow tho e no follow @ all. but na +ve remark. it's a veryyyyy free world my dear. 1luv
TV/Movies / Re: Thread For DStv/GOtv Channel TELEMUNDO by femmefatale: 3:02pm On Jan 21, 2015
benedictac:





personally I don't see anything wrong. we've seen in reality cases of an older man falling in love with a very younger one. In fact, in such relationship the man pampers the lady.
waagbaayii.....If u don't understand it look 4 a yoruba friend 4 d interpretation.
Phones / BBZ10 Or Q5 Which Is Better by femmefatale: 11:08am On Sep 24, 2014
Dear friends, i need your help on this please.
Blackberry Z10 or Q5 which 1 should one go for?. I do a lot of browsing on my BB but i really want to use an android phone bcoz of some applications that ordinary BB cannot offer unless u use a 10 version(I heard BB10 is the android version of BB) . I initially thought of using an android phone then i paused and thought about data management then i realize i still wanna continue with my BB. I know some will say BB10 data plan is almost the same as android's but wink wink wink.
Pets / Re: 10 Monogamous Animals That Mate For Life by femmefatale: 1:47pm On Sep 21, 2014
faithboi: I surrender....for d records,I dont cheat tho....
Hmm....
Nairaland / General / Re: Boyfriend Renting Girlfriend Out To Raise Money For Iphone 6 by femmefatale: 7:13pm On Sep 19, 2014
Ebubeslym: after buying the phone what next?

f00l
f00l self no describe am reach
Nairaland / General / Boyfriend Renting Girlfriend Out To Raise Money For Iphone 6 by femmefatale: 7:00pm On Sep 19, 2014
A Chinese student has gone to extreme lengths to get his hands on the latest iPhone, offering up his girlfriend in exchange for cash to put towards the
device. Photos of the man brandishing a sign that read "Girlfriend Sharing" appeared on the Chinese social
media site Weibo this week. And on offer is the chance to eat, study, play games or go on dates with the woman, although it did warn there would be no
"funny business". According to posters on Weibo, the man claimed his
girlfriend was a willing participant in the scheme, which offered her up for 10 yuan (£1) per hour. The identity of the man is not yet clear, though his
advertising exploits took place at Songjiang University in Shanghai.
The student's endeavours are the latest in a string of incidents showing the desperate lengths some people go to in order to acquire the latest must-have Apple gadget. Earlier this week, a Saudi man reportedly asked his prospective brother-in-law for an iPhone 6 as a dowry for marrying his sister. When the iPhone 5 was launched in China last year, a couple was charged with human trafficking after allegedly selling three of their newborn babies to pay for items that included high-end shoes and an iPhone.

*culled*

Imagine his desperation for iphone 6 o.

Celebrities / Ekiti Popular Musician Elemure Dies, Fayemi Mourns by femmefatale: 9:03pm On Sep 18, 2014
Ekiti State Governor, Dr. Kayode Fayemi, has expressed his condolence on the death of popular musician, Chief Elemure Ogunyemi. Ogunyemi died in the early hours of Thursday at his residence in the Ekute area of Ado-Ekiti, the state capital, at the age of 71.
The Governor, in a statement by his Chief Press Secretary, Olayinka Oyebode, said he received the news of the death with shock on a day the state was celebrating the transition of another illustrious son and former Vice Chancellor of the University of Lagos,
Prof. Jacob Ade-Ajayi. According to him, the death of the musician, who
positively projected the image of the state and was the first musician of Ekiti genre to acquire a global recognition, is a great loss to the state. He promised the readiness of his administration to
immortalise the deceased as a mark of honour for being a worthy Ekiti ambassador in his lifetime. Fayemi urged the family and associates of the
deceased to take heart and be consoled by his positive contributions to the development of the state.

*culled*
Celebrities / Ekiti Popular Musician Elemure Dies, Fayemi Mourns by femmefatale: 8:47pm On Sep 18, 2014
Ekiti State Governor, Dr. Kayode Fayemi, has expressed his condolence on the death of popular musician, Chief Elemure Ogunyemi. Ogunyemi died in the early hours of Thursday at his residence in the Ekute area of Ado-Ekiti, the state capital, at the age of 71.
The Governor, in a statement by his Chief Press Secretary, Olayinka Oyebode, said he received the news of the death with shock on a day the state was celebrating the transition of another illustrious son and former Vice Chancellor of the University of Lagos,
Prof. Jacob Ade-Ajayi. According to him, the death of the musician, who
positively projected the image of the state and was the first musician of Ekiti genre to acquire a global recognition, is a great loss to the state. He promised the readiness of his administration to
immortalise the deceased as a mark of honour for being a worthy Ekiti ambassador in his lifetime. Fayemi urged the family and associates of the
deceased to take heart and be consoled by his positive contributions to the development of the state.

*culled*
NYSC / Re: NYSC Defends Online Registration by femmefatale: 4:08am On Sep 18, 2014
cheesy cheesy cheesy
ALAYORMII: What's the problem with the policy makers in Nigeria?

What's the 4k for?

B4 you can gain admission, you buy JAMB form, you buy scratch card to check ur result, you buy post JAMB form.

When you are admitted, you pay acceptance fees, you pay for library, you pay for faculty, you pay for department, you pay for SUG, you pay school fees (exorbitant fees), you rent an apartment (or hostel).

When you graduate, you pay for clearance, you pay alumni, you pay to collect your result, you pay for mobilisation, you pay for correction of mistake (the mistake that was never yours),you pay for printing of call-up letter.

You still have to pay to write an interview for a job (eg. NIS, EBT, etc)

Yo even have to pay b4 you can die in Nigeria.

What a shame
Celebrities / 1 Of D Mysterious Twins, Known As ‘ibeji Oran’ Is Dead(pls How True Is Dis News) by femmefatale: 7:23pm On Sep 17, 2014
I came across this on a site. Please guys how true is the news?
"An unconfirmed report has it that one of
the duos of Taiwo and Kehinde Osuolale,
the popular mysterious twins, known as
‘Ibeji Oran’ in Yoruba genre of Nollywood is dead. It was reported that the specific one who died among the
twins is yet to be ascertained as at press time. The mysterious twins who shot themselves into limelight several years back when they featured in the late Yekini Ajileye’s movie and thereafter became instant celebrities.
One of the physically challenged twins often called “Ibeji Oran” (Mysterious Twins), we learnt, passed away in his home town in Osogbo, Osun State." ( Thought some say he slumped and died in a location).

Celebrities / Re: Tiwa Savage Wore A Skin-tight Catsuit At The African Unplugged Concert. by femmefatale: 6:26pm On Sep 16, 2014
Beyonce wanna-be
Nairaland / General / Re: Man Electrocuted While Trying To Steal Power Cables by femmefatale: 9:44am On Sep 16, 2014
Yeah, that's the guy in d pic. Exactly, he even looks like som1 dat's doing hide and seek game
watchthisposter: Lol

Everyday for the thief... One day for transformer...

Is that the man in the pic? He sure doesn't look like someone who has had 11/33kV flow through his veins?
Nairaland / General / Man Electrocuted While Trying To Steal Power Cables by femmefatale: 3:56am On Sep 16, 2014
Residents of the Lonlo area along Iju- Ishaga Road, Lagos woke up on Monday to find a man who had been electrocuted by a transformer belonging to the Ikeja Electricity Distribution Company. It was gathered that the man, whose names had yet to be known, was electrocuted while he was allegedly trying to remove transformer cables.
He was accused of being a vandal who wanted to steal some cables from the transformer. A resident, who craved anonymity, said that the man might have come in the night to steal the
cables. She said, “The man is not known here. He might have sneaked to this area at night. It was when we woke up
that we found him electrocuted on that spot. The power supply might have been restored while he was in the act. We are still waiting for the government
officials to evacuate his body.” While the crowds gathered at the scene, some
policemen and officials of the electricity distribution company arrived and said the man wanted to steal an item from the transformer and was electrocuted in the process. The Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, Ngozi Braide, could not be reached for comment.

NYSC / NYSC Defends Online Registration by femmefatale: 3:43am On Sep 16, 2014
The National Youth Service Corps has said the online registration it introduced for the mobilisation of corps members is meant to eradicate the problems that
graduates pass through in obtaining call-up letters from their institutions.
The board’s spokesperson, Mrs. Olubunmi Aderibigbe, in a statement on Monday said the initiative was also
made to save potential corps members from untimely death that could be occasioned by the security challenges in some states. She also argued that the process would prevent the forgery of call up letters. Aderibigbe said, “The attention of the board of the NYSC has been drawn to some reports which suggest a misunderstanding of the online registration for the mobilisation of corps members and the rationale
behind it. We hasten to say that the whole idea is not only noble but is indeed designed in the best interest
of the corps members. “Given the security challenge in some states of the
federation and the observed cumbersome process of collection of call-up letters in most institutions, the
idea was conceived to remove all impediments that make the mobilisation process a nightmare for the
graduates. We saw no need why any graduate should have to travel hundreds of kilometres with all the associated risks, just to collect his or her call-up letter. By registering online, the idea that any unscrupulous official could make the process of collection of call-up
letter difficult for corps members will also be eliminated.” Aderibigbe added that the scheme would afford foreign trained Nigerian graduates to have a seamless opportunity to participate in national service as the barrier of distance had been eliminated. “The online registration will also create a more reliable platform for storage and retrieval of data for participating graduates, removal of the excruciating
registration experiences in camps for both corps members and officials, provision of back-up services for the NYSC Integrated system and provision of Web-based NYSC Integrated System Software covering prospective corps members registration, mobilisation,
deployment and the provision of web-based finger-print software interface for verification,” she added.

*The Punch*

1 Like

Education / Re: LASPOTECH ADMISSION 2014/2015 FOR ALL LEVELS NOW AVAILABLE 08183700201 HURRY!!! by femmefatale: 5:53am On Sep 14, 2014
Please how much is their tuition fee and acceptance? And is the second admission list out pls? I mean for ND

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (of 5 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 174
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.