₦airaland Forum

It has been used in many trainings, workshops and classrooms just to see how people’s opinions can be so different on the same topic and to understand the rationale behind people’s opinions. One of the most memorable days of my MBA course was the day we had group sessions on this story. We argued hard, each one with an opinion underlined by personal experiences, life values, religious perspectives etc. It was a lot fun though.

Here it is!

THE EXERCISE
After reading the story, rank the five (5) characters in the story beginning with the one whom you consider as the “most guilty” and end with the one whom you consider the “least guilty.” That is, the character who seems to be the most guilty for causing the whole trouble should be the first on the list , then the second most guilty, and so on, with the least guilty being the last on the list. Very briefly note why you rank them in the order that you do.


THE STORY
There lived a woman named Abigail who was in love with a man named Gregory. Gregory lived on the shore of a river. Abigail lived on the opposite shore of the same river. The river that separated the two lovers was teeming with dangerous alligators. Abigail wanted to cross the river to be with Gregory. Unfortunately, the bridge had been washed out by a heavy flood the previous week. So she went to ask Sinbad, a riverboat captain, to take her across. He said he would be glad to if she would consent to go to bed with him prior to the voyage. She promptly refused and went to a friend named Ivan to explain her plight. Ivan did not want to get involved at all in the situation. Abigail felt her only alternative was to accept Sinbad’s terms. Sinbad fulfilled his promise to Abigail and delivered her into the arms of Gregory. When Abigail told Gregory about her amorous escapade in order to cross the river, Gregory cast her aside with disdain. Heartsick and rejected, Abigail turned to Slug with her tale of woe. Slug, feeling compassion for Abigail, sought out Gregory and beat him brutally. Abigail was overjoyed at the sight of Gregory getting his due. As the sun set on the horizon, people heard Abigail laughing at Gregory.

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If I don’t have to worry about money, I will gladly be a stay-at-home mum. I will have seven children like my mummy and live in a beautiful home by the beach. Do you remember Julia Roberts’ house in Sleeping with the Enemy? The one by the beach? Yes, that’s the one I will live in.

I will have so much fun with my children! I will travel the world with them and keep a mommy blog where I will upload pictures and videos for other mums who will wish they stayed at home too. I will spend my spare time writing, and the remaining spare time volunteering, and designing development programs for charities.

Sadly, I have to worry about money

The argument about if a woman should stay at home or work has been on for decades, but in recent years, it has been kicked aside by a rather more controversial one. “Should men be stay-at-home dads?” More than ever before, more men are opting to stay at home with the kids, they have their reasons but so do people who say it is traditionally wrong for men to do so.

Here are some men’s views about being a stay-at-home dad;

Gozie: Some men want to be more involved in raising their kids, some do it because they can’t afford childcare costs, and so, the person with the smallest income stays at home, and well, in some homes the woman earns more. But for me, I don’t think I can do it.

IK: I can be a stay at home dad, but I have to be doing something else while at it, maybe like running a home business. That can’t be the only thing I do, it will be like I am wasting away.

Demola: I think it’s not biblical, and it doesn’t even sound right culturally too. You should be a provider for your home. I will go out and work, and work and work till I can make enough to take care of my family. If anyone should stay at home, it should be the woman.

Kenny: There is actually nothing wrong with it. Women do it, so why can’t men do it. It doesn’t make them less of a man. I love my children and if I have to stay at home to ensure they get proper attention, then I will. Who pays the bills really shouldn’t matter, as long as they get paid and the kids get taken care of.

Tope: Yes, I can be a stay at home dad. If I am mentally or physically handicapped to work, I can be a stay at home dad. Also, if I can be making my cool millions right there inside my house as I stay with the kids, I will be a stay at home dad. That’s all!

Mike: Gosh! WTF! What on earth is that? That is just so wrong on many levels. Seriously, men should just stop it. It’s ridiculous. Don’t turn the world upside down.

Stephen: So, when I am hanging out with the men and they are all talking about their careers and businesses, what will I be talking about? Diapers and baby food?

Now over to you. Lets hear what you think about this. Do you think more men should embrace this?

copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Femme Lounge is looking for two[b] Female[/b] Editorial Assistants (paid role) to join our team in Lagos.

Responsibilities;
Write articles
Develop and source for articles and daily content for FL
Conduct interviews for feature articles
Manage volunteers
Develop ideas for the promotion of features on social media and assist in managing the social media accounts
Represent FL at relevant events
Perform other relevant editorial and administrative duties as assigned

Key Skills Required:
Good general and current affairs knowledge
Excellent oral and written communication skills
Must be familiar with social media platforms
Must have a working Knowledge of Microsoft Office suite

How to apply
To apply send these to info@femmelounge.org;
1. A write-up not more than 500 words on the topic: WHY I’M SUITABLE FOR THE EDITORIAL ASSISTANT ROLE.
2. A Curriculum Vitae/Resume
3. Links to articles you have written/attach sample articles as a word document.


Notes
Please note that your application will not be considered if you don’t follow the application guideline above.
Only short-listed candidates will be contacted.
Applicants must be presently based in Lagos and be available to start immediately.
The deadline for application is Friday, 12th September 2014

To know more about Femme Lounge, please visit www.femmelounge.ng

When I read the story below, I said I can't blame these women, if I am the one too, I can do the same. Does the Government take care of the widows and children of these soldiers, or they just die for nothing?


Wives of Nigerian soldiers belonging to the 21 Armored Brigade stationed at Giwa Barracks in Maiduguri, have protested against their husbands being sent to fight Boko Haram Insurgents.

They are upset at the high rate of casualty suffered by the Nigerian Army in the battle against Boko Haram, and the Federal Government’s inadequate provision of sophisticated weapons and equipment.

They also accused the Federal Government of not taking care of the women widowed by the deaths of their husbands in the war against Boko Haram.



Here is an excerpt from Sahara Reporter’s interview with some of the women;

We are asking the Federal Government and Defense Ministry to equip our husbands with sophisticated weapons or else we won’t allow them to go anywhere.

Some of our friends are now widows and nobody is taking care of them and their children once their husbands are dead. That is why we have to lock our husbands at home to keep them alive,” one woman said.

One of the women added that Nigerian troops are preparing for an operation to dislodge insurgents from Bama and Gwoza, adding that many wives had resolved to “stand up and protect their husbands.”



this was copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Is it possible for human beings to love unconditionally? I don't we are capable of that, only God can love unconditionally

people sick with Ebola really won't mind taking the zmapp whether experimental or not, at least the two americans they gave are still alive. I really hope they cam make it available to africans for real.

hmmn, this is becoming really scary o. Have they detected any ebola case in Abuja?

How will you advise someone in this situation;

She has been applying for a new job for the past six months now. Her current job is not really what she wants to develop a career in. She prefers a career in sales but she really has not done a job in that field before. When she reads the sales job descriptions, she is so convinced this is something she can succeed at. The problem is how can she prove it on her CV and during interview that she can do it though she has never done it before.

Any HR/Recruitment specialist in the house to advise? We all can learn from this.


this question was copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Someone asked the question below, what will you do if you are in this situation;

I manage one of the five branches of the company I work for. I have 10 employees in my branch and as a new branch the targets we have to meet by the end of the year is incredibly high.
The problem is that I need my workers to focus 100% on their jobs to be able to meet this target, at the moment we are below expectation, but many of them spend hours reading blogs especially Linda Ikeji blog, and checking out social media every day. I have warned them many times but they still do it, one of them is very active on twitter and she tweets severally daily, during work hours!
I may be old fashioned here, but I find it hard to believe they can be productive at work if they spend hours reading stuff online and discussing it. Will I be making a right decision if I ban the use of social media completely with great consequences for anyone who breaks the rule?

This article was copied from www.femmelounge.ng

A young woman's story!

I have been married to a man I love for almost two years now, he meets all my needs but my sexual needs just get ignored over and over again.

He believes that sex is for the man and the woman is only meant to do as the man want and should not have her own sexual preferences. He says a woman should wait for when her man needs her and not tell the man she needs him. It is quite frustrating because I have a high sex drive.

Sex for us is according to his own terms. We only have sex when he wants it and how he wants with absolutely no regard for what I want or do not want. He hates when I moan out loud, can’t stand me trying to be on top of him during sex and doesn’t believe in pre-intimacy.

He hates when I intimate sex or tell him about my sexual needs, when I dress or behave in a sensual way to attract his attention he gets irritated and tells me to stop acting like a slut.

I have been told to have a discussion with him about how I feel but I have tried that so many times, he gets even angrier when I do. The last time we had this discussion he said I should be ashamed of myself for getting upset over sex. I know its not enough to lose my marriage over so I have learnt to suck it up and accept my fate.

I feel totally ignored and disrespected, but I have no idea how to change his beliefs.

This story was copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Kemi: Hey Grace! How are you doing?

Grace: I am fine o, hope you are enjoying the new week. We didn’t see you at the women’s meeting last Saturday hope all is well.

Kemi: Yes, I couldn’t make it; I had to go to Ghana over the weekend.

Grace: Oh okay, hope you had a good trip.

Kemi: Yeah, it went well thanks.

Grace: We were expecting a feedback from you about the speakers for the women conference, you promised to talk to the Director of one of the charities you volunteer with.

Kemi: oh! Wasn’t Bidemi at the meeting? I gave her the status updates before I left on Thursday.

Grace: Bidemi? Which Bidemi?

Kemi: Bidemi, Pastor’s wife

Grace: Kemi! You still call her by her name?

Kemi: oh well, I am sort of used to that, I have been friends with her since childhood and Ola is my cousin too. We all grew up together.

Grace: Ola? You just called Pastor by name too?

Kemi: Is it a big deal, they call me by name too; we are quite close, you know now, don’t you?

Grace: In my humble opinion, you should address them as Pastors; it doesn’t matter if they are your friend and cousin or if they call you by your own name. I know you are even older than they are but God has ordained them over you.

Kemi: You make me laugh, I can’t believe this is getting at you, calling them by name doesn’t mean I disrespect them, they know that and I doubt they have a problem with it.

Grace: They are called by God. Kemi, you should respect the anointing upon their lives.

Kemi: But I am called by God and anointed too and I am not making a fuss about them calling me Kemi.

Grace: Are you a Pastor? There is no greater calling than that. They can call you by name because God has placed them over you. Respect the God in them

Kemi: I am a medical doctor, called by God to save lives and help people live healthier lives, and I work with many charities across Africa saving lives, you don’t think my calling is great? You think the God in them is greater than the God in me because I am not a Pastor?

Grace: You know what I am talking about.

Kemi: No, I don’t know what you are talking about.


copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Sexting has been constantly given pretty bad knocks for being an accomplice to adultery and responsible for the breakup of many relationships in recent times. But can something good come out of sexting? Can sexting also be a tool to building sexual intimacy between couples?

Technology such as mobile phones and internet has made many couples grow apart, but for some couples it has become a powerful way to enhance their relationship and make them get closer. It all depends on how you choose to use it.

In the increasingly fast paced world we live in, couples spend so much time apart, working, travelling, and pursing other interests that if care isn’t taken they may begin to grow apart. When the relationship starts losing its steam, people are tempted to start seeking excitement outside their relationship, instead of looking for new ways to jumpstart the excitement within the relationship.

Sexting is a playful way of staying connected, a pre-intimacy of sorts that make couples look forward to having a good time together. This could be sending romantic texts, having phone intimacy, exchanging flirty emails, and playing on Skype.

Dr Golland who talks to couples in resolving marital crisis said, ‘I realized that what many of the couples miss is the “flirting” and “playful” experience sexual intimacy used to provide in their lives. I discuss ways to build a warm, connected anticipation for sex in fun and creative ways. Our sexual appetites evolve and change as we age, just as other parts of ourselves do. Feeling sexually desired by our partner is very important, and wanting our husband sexually can’t be underestimated’

She said when she tell couples to start sexting they often laugh at first, but after doing it they usually had a sexual encounter, which of course was the goal!

If you have never done it before, it’s worth a try. From a simple flirty message to an erotic one that would make your spouse tingle. Start sexting with your spouse and see what happens.

copied from www.femmelounge.ng

One week ago, Nigerian weightlifter Chika Amalaha was being celebrated for winning the gold medal in the women’s 53 kg weight class at the 2014 Commonwealth Games at Glasgow.

The 17 year old was celebrated for setting a new Games records in 53kg weight category, but the celebration did not last for long. She was suspended from the games on Tuesday, July 29 for testing positive to drugs, traces of diuretics and masking agents were found in her sample A. Her B sample was sent for testing and it also came out positive to substances on the prohibited lists.

The Commonwealth Games Federation (CGF) had a meeting with Amalaha on Friday, August 1, 2014, and she was subsequently stripped of her gold medal.

This a very sad story.

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As a bride to be, one of the factors/points that is of great importance while planning your wedding is the color theme for the wedding especially for the fabrics/attires involved.

For the Church Wedding or Nikkai Ceremony , most times basic colors like white, off white, cream or pink is what most brides choose for their wedding dresses.

But the traditional wedding gives you the opportunity to ‘play’ with colors and express your personality through them (colors).

I have discovered that a lot of brides get confused at the stage of combining colors together either for their own outfit or for their guests (Aso-ebi).

Mixing or combining colors together to get a perfect blend in order to appear super gorgeous before your groom and guests in general needs a lot of attention and detailing.

So, I have drawn up a table of 25 colors that you can combine and get absolutely beautiful results for your traditional wedding and also make your guests looks super amazing as they honor you on your Big day.

25 matching color combinations for the 2014 bride to be:

Red and gold
White and silver
Pink and grey
Red and white
Purple and gold
Champagne gold and peach
Yellow and silver
Champagne gold and orange
Champagne gold and white
Teal and white
White and royal blue
Peach and turquoise blue
Orange and purple
Peach and cream
Baby blue and brown
Silver and yellow
White and white
Gold and cobalt blue
Green and red
Red and silver
Emerald green and gold
Yellow and gold
Champagne gold and gold
Pink and gold
Baby blue and royal blue
————————————————————————————————

Written by Modupe Atoyebi-Badaru copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Imagine this:

You leave your apartment in the morning for a trip downtown. You are wearing your most fashionable outfit, favorite perfume, you are looking like a billion dollars and you go to catch a bus. As you hurry out through your back door, you pick a small sack of garbage in the kitchen with the intention of tossing it in the rubbish container on the road on your way to catch your bus. But you get so preoccupied with your thoughts and forget to toss the garbage. So you carry ,

Read more at http://www.femmelounge.org/?p=423

According to the American Psychiatric Association, a phobia is an irrational and excessive fear of an object or situation. In most cases, the phobia involves a sense of endangerment or a fear of harm. This list offers a glimpse at the phobias that are especially particular to women and can have a serious impact on their lives. These are just few of the over 500 phobias that has been identified!

see list at http://www.femmelounge.org/?p=484

If children feel embarrassed when they wet their beds, imagine what it is like for an adult who does. Yet there are adults who experts say probably number in the millions, who are bed-wetters. Because of their problem, they often live in constant fear of embarrassment, afraid to share their beds and rooms with loved ones and guests.

For those adults, bedtime is not as simple as ABC; it is in fact another time of dread and a reminder of a problem most people have outgrown at an earlier age.

For 30 year old Ogechi, who suddenly started bed wetting as a teenager, it has been a devasting nightmare, she ,

read more at http://www.femmelounge.org/?p=458

If women rule the world, would everything really change, will the world be a better place for it? In ABC’s hit drama Commander in Chief, a woman rules the world! If you have ever tried to run across a damp grass with your high heels on, then you might have an idea of how tough it was for her to lead a troubled nation, it felt like she would sink the next minute, but then she kept coming out of every sinking hole and made it across the field.

Read more about her challenges and learn from how she overcame them at http://www.femmelounge.org/?p=532

Beauty, Confidence, Attraction and Approval, were few of the factors that motivated my decisions of what to wear or not to wear, I considered other people’s opinion and perception important when it comes to what I wear and how I look. I wanted to be seen as someone that is trendy and fashion savvy.

I once tried going the skimpy route as a teenager, for the love of seeing heads turn when I pass by, then I also did the pink lipstick for a signature look, sometimes I still do super high heels for an extra dose of confidence, and I often go for dark colors to hide a few pounds around my waistline,

Read more at http://www.femmelounge.org/?p=416

This is a must read

This Year, forget huge easy-to-break New Year’s resolutions and think about small steps toward a more well-rounded you. Maybe what you need isn’t the drastic change you’ve always planned for, but finding meaning in seemingly insignificant activities that can instill freshness into your hectic and nerve-racking lifestyle.

Focus on these priceless moments with immense passion and have a new perspective to life. Some of them will need planning, others will only take a few hours out of your day, but at the end of the year, when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will be worth it.

read the 29 things you should do at http://www.femmelounge.org

This is an exciting and interesting piece on emotional affair!



Kate meet James when she joined a new Accounting Firm two years ago, James was her supervisor and the first time they met, he actually struck her as a bit shy and withdrawn. But a few months into their working relationship, something changed. James started warming up to her with special attention; she warmed up to him too. Soon their conversations turned from work related issues to easy banter about everything personal and later it became flirtation. They shared many similar things in common, and they soon became inseparable.

She convinced herself that she wasn’t doing anything wrong; after all they were not having sex. And couldn’t she have a friend who happened to be male? She also told her husband about him ,

Read more at http://www.femmelounge.org

This is a must read!

This Year, forget huge easy-to-break New Year’s resolutions and think about small steps toward a more well-rounded you. Maybe what you need isn’t the drastic change you’ve always planned for, but finding meaning in seemingly insignificant activities that can instill freshness into your hectic and nerve-racking lifestyle.

Focus on these priceless moments with immense passion and have a new perspective to life. Some of them will need planning, others will only take a few hours out of your day, but at the end of the year, when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will be worth it.

read the 29 things you should do at http://www.femmelounge.org

This is a must read!


This Year, forget huge easy-to-break New Year’s resolutions and think about small steps toward a more well-rounded you. Maybe what you need isn’t the drastic change you’ve always planned for, but finding meaning in seemingly insignificant activities that can instill freshness into your hectic and nerve-racking lifestyle.

Focus on these priceless moments with immense passion and have a new perspective to life. Some of them will need planning, others will only take a few hours out of your day, but at the end of the year, when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will be worth it.

Read the 29 things you should do at http://www.femmelounge.org

Femme Lounge is a new and exciting magazine for young naija women, check it out, i promise you will be glued

http://www.femmelounge.org

i came across the website of a new dynamic women magazine, they might be recruiting soon . check it out at

http://www.femmelounge.org