₦airaland Forum

Role – Content Writer
Focus Areas – Fashion, Weddings, Lists, Food & Entertainment
Company - www.woman.ng

Description
Must be able to work remotely from anywhere in Lagos, but available for weekly editorial meetings
Must be creative and be up to date with news, trends and developments relating to Nigerian women.
Must be able to actively use and be on social media especially Instagram and Facebook

Responsibilities
1. Generate ideas for, and writing articles related to focus areas
2.Participate in Woman.NG’s offline events
3. Assist in managing Woman.NG social media accounts

How to apply
Please note that your application will be discarded if you do not follow the instruction below.

To apply, send the documents below to info@woman.ng by email. No phone calls please.

1. Cover Letter – maximum 400 words stating why you are the best candidate for this job

2. Sample writing – maximum 600 words (Topic must be from the focus areas mentioned above)

3. CV – include links to blogs /published articles/social media profiles if available

Please note that only shortlisted candidates will be contacted.

Website - www.woman.ng

Role – Writer ( applications are only welcome from women)
Focus Areas – News, Entertainment, Celebrity & Gossip

Description
Must be based in Lagos
Must be creative and be up to date with news, trends and developments relating to Nigerian women.
Must be able to actively use and be on social media especially Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Must be able to write well with a very good grasp of English comprehension and grammar
Must be able to work with minimum supervision

Qualification
Convince us that you can do the job and we will take you on – Undergraduates and NYSC Members based in Lagos also welcome to apply.

Responsibilities
1. Generate ideas for, and writing articles related to focus areas
2. Source for articles from writers/contributors
3. Keep up to date with trends and developments relating to the magazine’s subject matter
4. Participate in Woman.NG’s offline events
5. Provide support in managing Woman.NG social media accounts and raising woman.ng’s profile on social media

How to apply
Please note that your application will be discarded if you do not follow the instruction below.

To apply, send the documents below to info@woman.ng by email. No phone calls please.

1. Cover Letter – maximum 400 words stating why you are the best candidate for this job

2. Sample writing – maximum 600 words (Topic must be from the focus areas mentioned above)

3. CV – include links to blogs /published articles/social media profiles if available

Please note that only shortlisted candidates will be contacted.
Deadline for all Applications – 11th February 2016

In a never before seen video, one of the daughters of General Muhammadu Buhari, the APC Presidential candidate for the February 2015 elections responds to questions about her father and presents sides of him many don’t know.

See video HERE --> http://woman.ng/2015/01/revelation-what-many-dont-know-about-her-father-buharis-daughter-speaks/

Tiwa Savage subtly announced she is expecting first child with Teebillz on her instagram page this morning. She posted the photo above with the caption “2015….Just the 3 of US…❤️ #AllGloryToGod”

Congratulations to them!

copied from www.woman.ng

copied from www.woman.ng


Here are the Nigerian women who are in the different categories of the Google trends for Nigeria in 2014.

TRENDING PEOPLE

Kefee: The late Nigerian gospel singer was in a coma for fifteen days and died of lung failure in a hospital in Los Angeles, United States. There were a lot of rumours and articles just before her death about her being pregnant and her health state.

Dora Akunyili: Dora Akunyili was the director general of NAFDAC Nigeria and the Nigerian minister of information and communication from 2008 – 2010. After battling with cancer, she died in an Indian hospital on the 7th of June 2014 at age 59.


Stella Dimoko: She writes a popular gossip blog where she does not pull her punches. Then there is the cold war between her and popular blogger Linda Ikeji.

TRENDING NOLLYWOOD

Amaka Igwe: Prolific award winning Nigerian film maker, Amaka Igwe died on the 28th of April 2014 after a brief illness. She was a pioneer of modern Nigerian TV and her death shocked Nigeria as we lost one of the leading players in the movie industry.

Emem Isong: Emem is a filmmaker, writer and the CEO of the Royal Arts Academy. The top producer went ahead and got secretly married to her Camerounian heartthrob, Akama Misodi. The surprise marriage took Nigerians by surprise as there were no hints about it and it went viral as people wanted to find out all the details.

Omoni Oboli: Accomplished Nigerian actress made headlines with the screening of her movie “Being Mrs. Elliott” at the presidential villa. But what really captured the attention of Nigerians was the revealing outfit she wore to the screening. She was criticised from all angles for putting on the dress but the actress also replied her critics, defending her outfit choice.

Empress Njamah

Actress Njamah is on the list of trending people in Nollywood 2014 . It probably had something with her sharing pictures of herself flying first class on her trip out of the country. Also she gave an interview where she revealed that she was not ready for marriage as she cannot live under a man. She also released some interesting pictures during this festive season. She has sure had a busy 2014 in the media.

Bimbo Akinsanya

Yoruba actress, Bimbo Akinsanya who once stood trial for attempted murder but was acquitted had a good 2014 as she got married this year. The actress who has been linked to various men was pregnant as she tied the knot.

TRENDING MUSIC ARSTISTE

Tiwa Savage

Top female Nigerian artist Tiwa Savage had a very interesting year. She got married to her manager Teebillz and also released a song that most Nigerian had no idea what to make of, the video of the song “Wanted”. Then there were the rumours of trouble in her marriage due to physical violence, that bit was never confirmed. She also released a new song “My Darling” and Nigerians showere praises and accolades on her for her performance in the song.

TRENDING WHO IS

Kefee: The late Nigerian gospel singer was in a coma for fifteen days and died of lung failure in a hospital in Los Angeles, United States. There were a lot of rumours and articles just before her death about her being pregnant and her health state.

Maheeda: She released her nude photos this year and she boldly declared “my vision is actually to see my posters in people’s bedrooms and stuff like that. I want to be that sex symbol one can fantasize about “.

MOST SEARCHED

Linda Ikeji: Now if you don’t know why she is the most searched in 2014, you need google!


copied from www.woman.ng

copied from [url]woman.ng[/url]

A Nigerian woman studying in the US on a scholarship from Bayelsa State Government is presently seeking donations on gofundme.com to pay her tuition. This is because the Bayelsa State Government has not paid her tuition for two semesters and she will not be able to graduate in May 2015 if the money is not paid.

Here is her story as shared on her gofundme page

I am a foreign exchange graduate student from Nigeria. I came to the United States on an academic scholarship from the Bayelsa state government of Nigeria, to whom I remain eternally grateful for providing me with such a significant privilege. Ever since I was a child, I always had dreams of schooling in America. I came into this country with high hopes of graduating with a good education.

[url]woman.ng[/url]

The Bayelsa state government has however omitted to fulfill its obligation to my university and this poses a threat to my scheduled graduation in May 2015. Currently, the Bayelsa State government owes my university over $11,500 in tuition fees for two semesters and also owes me unpaid stipend fees for 17 months at $1,000 per month, amounting to $17,000.

My attempts to collect these funds have been futile. I have called the government on several occasions, I have also sent letters and emails but the feedback I get from the government is that the government is broke or money has not been released. On the occasions when money was released, the story I was told was “we are processing your payment.” Yet the money never came but disappeared into thin air.

After more telephone calls, the government reversed the dynamics of its story to “we are broke or funds have not been released” So the question I asked and never received any response was what happened to the funds that were released? After waiting for several months, which turned into weeks and now 17 months, I am left with no other option than to depend on the generosity of kindhearted people.

As earlier indicated, I am incredibly grateful the Bayelsa state government. I just really wish they could honor their commitment to my education. If I could afford to pay these expenses, I would not have opted to get a scholarship. Since the Nigerian government has omitted to fulfill its financial obligation to my university, my university has transferred the financial responsibility to me because; according to my university “The Nigerian government has not been a responsible third party.”

I am very determined and undaunted in my pursuit. I have worked so hard in life to get to this point; I have come too far to let the $11,500 owed to my school, stand as an impediment to my graduation in May. Your generosity would help me complete my graduate program. Interestingly, $11,500 may not mean much for some, but it means the world to me especially at this point in my life.

With an American education, I can proudly go back to my country a victor. The potentials are limitless; I can contribute positively to the growth of my country. Most significantly, you will be a part of that growth. I will tell my countrymen about your kindness and generosity. I have learnt a lot, within the short period of time, that I have been here: the sense of community and the true patriotism of Americans to their country.

I have seen such deep loyalty that for the sake of one American, stranded in danger abroad, the American government would send an entire troop to protect their citizen. This is something that I find very fascinating. All these and more are stories that I have to tell when I return home. Indeed a land of opportunities, a land filled with selfless men and women willing to protect their interest. It is as I always imagined since I was a child. I will treasure your help and savor the good memories that I have since gained from the Americans.

I pray that this campaign creates the much-needed awareness that would bring about a positive change in the way the government treats it scholarship awardees; And that above all things the dignity and well being of each student under the scheme would be upheld.

I realize that it is kind of late to be starting this fundraiser campaign, but while the goal is to raise these funds before January 6th, I don’t think that it would a problem if we reach our goal a little later. I will leave the page active until we are able to accumulate enough funds to reach our goal. I know that this gesture from us all would be highly appreciated.

Please don’t feel pressured to donate if you don’t feel that you can. Just know that anything is appreciated, and that any donation can be public or private, depending on your preference.

copied from www.woman.ng

I am a member of some women groups on Facebook, and every day I read stories from married women who are looking for advice on how to deal with the “other woman” who wants to or has already “snatched” their husbands.

Here is what many women – married or separated – do not understand, no woman can “snatch” a full grown man without his consent.

When your marriage fails or your husband decides to walk out of the marriage, it is not the fault of the other woman.

He is the one who owes you an explanation, he is the one who promised to stay with you and has broken that promise. Nobody snatched him, he left!

Never waste your time and your life fighting the other woman while she is busy building her life and making herself happy.

Women need to learn how to move ON! I see women fasting and praying and worrying themselves sick all in the name of saving a marriage that is already dead.

The man you are worrying over is busy making a new life with another woman. Why shouldn’t you move on?

Life will not automatically compensate you with good things just because your man left you for another woman. If you want to stand strong and have the best life can offer you then you first need to let go and move on! There is more to life than marriage, never waste your life over one.

Stop being the victim, be the winner! When you limit yourselves by the story of what your husband did to you, you do not have the freedom to be anything else.


Here is a link to the video of Stella’s reaction to being called a husband snatcher-->
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCByoh0rlX8

If “other women” go ahead and live happily ever after like this, why should you put your own life on hold because a man chose to leave you?

Note her reference to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.


copied from www.woman.ng

By www.woman.ng

2014 like every new year has been a year full of ups and downs, marriages, childbirths and sadly celebrity deaths. Below are some of the Nigerian women who made an impact in the lives of people and the country before their deaths in 2014.


Amaka Igwe
Amaka Igwe was an award winning acclaimed Nigerian filmmaker and broadcasting executive. She was the owner of Amaka Igwe Studios and Top Radio 90.9 Lagos. She was a stakeholder in the Nollywood industry. She died on 28th April 2014.


Kefee
She was an award winning gospel singer who graduated from the University of Benin with a Business Administration degree. She was awarded the International Young Ambassador for Peace in 2009. She died of lung failure in the United States on the 12th of June 2014


Dora Akunyili
Dora was the Director General of the National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control (NAFDAC). She gained international recognition for her work in public health, pharmacology and human rights. She also ran for election as a Senator for Anambra Central for APGA in April 2011 but lost. She died in an Indian hospital on the 7th of June 2014 after a battle with cancer.


Ameyo Adadevoh
She was the great granddaughter of Herbert Macaulay who was one of the founders of modern Nigeria. She curbed the wide spread of the Ebola virus in Nigeria by placing Patrick Sawyer in quarantine. She tested positive for the virus on the 4th of August 2014 and passed away on the 19th of August 2014.


Taiwo Oshadipe
Taiwo who was the second half of the Oshadipe twins was an inspirational singer with her twin sister Kehinde. Not only were they musicians, they were also actresses as they had featured in a couple of TV shows. Taiwo passed away on the 3rd of October 2014, following complaints of chest and heart pains.


Pamela Ofoegbu
She was the head of programming at EbonyLife Tv. Pamela also worked as the commissioning editor for Africa at MNet. She died at age 44 from breast cancer on the 4th of November 2014.


Zara Gretti
Margaret Mary Joseph known as Zara Gretti was an on air personality on Rhythm 93.7 fm, Lagos and also a singer and songwriter. Zara died on the 28th of March 2014 after battling multiple sclerosis.


Ijeoma Okori
Ijeoma was a Nollywood actress and a member of the Actors Guild of Nigeria. She died on the 2nd of February 2014 at childbirth with her twin babies.


Remi Oyo
Oluremi Oyo was the Managing Director of the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), she was also the spokesperson to former president Olusegun Obasanjo from 2003-2007. She died in the UK on the 1st of October 2014 after losing the battle to cancer.

By www.woman.ng

Channels Television’s programme, Sunrise, on Saturday, Lanre Da Silva Ajayi, a leading Fashion Designer in Nigeria talked about the need for the government to invest in the fashion industry.

According to her, the Government put a lot of money into football, but football doesn't generate money or provide employment as much as the Fashion industry does.

Here is an excerpt from her Interview as published on ChannelsTV.com

“The fashion industry generates more funds than what football could generate for a nation.

“The true passion is fashion. The fashion industry makes more impact than football.

“About 235 trillion dollars accounts for the fashion industry yearly unlike football that generates lesser amount”.

She insisted that there was the need for more funds to be put into the industry due to its relevance in human life.

copied from www.femmelounge.ng
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I will not stop ranting about the evil that some men put women through! No, seriously some men are simply nothing but pure evil.

How can a man be so wicked to marry a woman (church and traditional marriage kwa o!), house her, father a child or children with her and still the woman will know nothing about this so called husband.

It happened to a friend of mine. She got married to a man we could describe as a devoted and kind family man. The man is always forming busy, he comes back late from the office and sometimes even sleeps over at the office. My friend had no cause to suspect as she gets money from him very well! Besides, they occasionally had family outings (the husband always tried to make time out for the wife and children). Even his phones never had any suspicious texts as she checks constantly.

My friend had 3 children for him, 2 boys and a girl. Her husband did everything any responsible husband would do for his family. The only thing she found bothersome was that sometimes when she called him, he would say he was in Lekki and this had gone on for years. She wonders what her husband is always doing at Lekki because she knows his office is situated in Onikan. She asked him but he really didn’t give any concrete answer.

Presently my friend is pregnant for with her 4th child and she attends antenatal clinic at Lagoon Hospital in V/I. As she finished her antenatal around 2pm and was leaving the hospital, she saw her husband’s jeep, inside it was another lady who appeared pregnant. They were heading towards Lekki. My friend, action lady that she is (I don’t have dulling friends) abandoned her own jeep, took an okada and followed them reach to their destination.

Their destination was Chevron Estate. Wow! Come see house! My friend stayed at a corner and was watching them! First, her husband came out, followed by the heavily pregnant woman. Just when she thought she should start wondering about the whole scenario, two children came out of the house they shouted “Daddy welcome! Mummy welcome!”.

These children we are talking about were older than her own kids by roughly between eight and five years. Her first child is 6 year old while this woman’s first is roughly 13 or 14 year old!

To cut the story short, her husband had been living a double life! Everything was double double! House double, phones double, car double, children double! To make matters worse, she found out that she is actually the second and fake wife!

You can imagine what happened next!

For me the moral of the story is that, ” One day, monkey go go market and e no go return” or “Everyday is for the thief but one day is for the owner” or “One day wind go blow and fowl yansh go open!”and finally “Nothing is hidden under the sun”…so choose the one you like.

Written by Chidinma Ajayi copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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Katherine Adamu is one of the Nigerians that got the member of the Federal Republic (MFR) award recently.

Katherine started out as a Caterer in the Kaduna State Government House and was transferred to the State House in Abuja on Olusegun Obasanjo’s request in 2003. She has been the Chief Catering Officer in the State House in Abuja for 12 years.

In a recent interview with Juliana Taiwo-Obalonye for Sun News, she shares her experience working in the State House.

Here is an excerpt;

On challenge of working for powerful people

These are high calibre individuals and to meet their standards you have to be focused, you have to be confident. The first time you meet your principal you have to study him very well, gradually you will get to know what he likes and what he dislikes. You must make sure that whatever he likes is available whenever he wants to eat. When he sees that it gladdens his heart. Knowing your principal is number one quality any caterer must have, that way you keep your principal at ease and you earn his trust.

On State House budget and criticism

The truth is that many people don’t know what it means to be in the corridor of power. The corridor of power is all about hospitality. If anybody comes to see the president and the person is not given something as common as water will he be happy? He won’t be happy. So anybody that visits the president must be entertained at least with drinks and small chops and in some occasion you give food. There must be something to eat and drink at his meetings, which sometimes hold late at nights or into the wee hours of the morning. So there is nothing wrong in entertaining every of the president’s guest. When people criticise the budget, I really don’t blame them they simply don’t know what it means to be in the corridor of power, if they do they won’t criticise the budget. In fact if you ask me what is budgeted for is not even enough for the president’s guests. Everybody coming here must be fed.

copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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It hard to get by in life and be truly happy when you have to worry about something as basic as being able to afford to go to a dentist. Money problems are one of the common reasons for couples divorce. So it is not surprising when someone wants to marry into money.

Here are simple ways to get exactly what you want.


Becoming desirable.
1. Don’t be the cliche
The beautiful (silicon-augmented) girl which spends all day shopping or sitting by the pool. You don’t want to be the trophy wife. Another side of the coin is when he knows you want him for the money (he doesn’t want an obvious gold digger).

2. Respect yourself.
Eat healthy, exercise, dress for success and practice good hygiene.

3. Get educated.
No man wants a total bimbo.

4. Get cultured.
Have a developed interest in music, art, literature, films. Understand and explore foreign cultures, history and politics too.

5. Do things with your life.
No one wants to be with someone who is completely shallow. Just an empty shell that does nothing.

6. Have talents
It makes you more interesting. The easiest route to go is to become a great cook.

7. Be passionate.
Be a passionate lover but also be that in how you live your life.



Finding your man

1. Catch him early
Frequent the bars and cafes around major medical and tech university. This will help you meet guys that are well on their wall to become IT overlords and doctors. If you meet him when he’s young he will be more likely to be single and less worried that a woman is after him for money.

2. Frequent their hangouts.
Generallly go to places where rich men are likely to be.

3. Go to auction houses

4. Go to charity events
You don’t have to donate to the charity you are attending the event for but donating something is probably a good idea

5. Work in the right place.
Statistics say 22% of married couples meet their spouse through work.

6. Make rich friends

7. Use services designed for this purpose.
There are lots of dating services, both online and in real life. Pick a reputable one and see where it leads.



Landing your man
1. Show them you are not in it for the money.
They need to see that you do really love them…and you should really love them. Relationships are hard, and they only work when you are bonded to that person.

2. Create an environment of trust.
Its common for them to be exploited so they might have trust issues. Create that environment.

3. Be a great date
Take active roles in your date. Take them places even if the place isn’t very nice.

4. Bring fun into their life.
Everyone wants someone that will make their life better.

5. Love them hard and faithfully.
Be a master in the art of love. Not the sex part though. Be good at actually loving them and help them to fall in love with you.

6. Keep them coming back for more.
Don’t give everything up all at once. Why should they marry you if having you as a girlfriend or mistress gets them what they want?



Other considerations

Rule out the fact that you cannot make money on your own.
Evaluate and be realistic about your looks, brains and personality.
Don’t be too obvious
Act like a lady
And lastly carve out alone time for yourself and let him miss you. Get a life, have friends and tons of interest. Make yourself interesting and fun to be with.

Writer: Favour Moyse copied from www.femmelounge.ng

According to a report by Vanguard Newspaper, Nollywood actress, Clarion Chukwurah recently sent in a letter titled “A Wake up Call to Nollywood” where she expressed her dissatisfaction over the exploitation of Nollywood actors by award organisers. Here is the letter below;

The time has come for the Professional Guilds of Nollywood to take a unified and decisive action to stop the proliferation of award events that exploit the industry and do not add value to the practitioner/recipients” she wrote.

“From Nigeria to the United Kingdom, to the United States of America, Nollywood wannabes and smart-ass business men have jumped on the bandwagon train of exploiting inaction of the Guilds and the ignorant crave for publicity of practitioners to exploit Nollywood for the quick buck forming a different cabal of piracy.

Thirty years ago when I won the Best Actress Award at the All African Films Festival in Burkina Faso, it came with a certificate and $500. Nomination for the Golden Globe or the Oscar comes with a certain amount of money, that transforms you to an A-list actor and jerk up your fees, adding value to your career and your professional worth.

With Nollywood, the award organizers walk away with the money while the nominees and awardees return home with worthless plaques that make no difference to the executive producers.

It is instructive to note that without the practitioners, there is no show, yet every arm of the event, from the venue, to the technicians, to the event managers and broadcast networks et-al, are paid but the established brands who are invited as nominees to walk the red carpet to endorse their own brands that are still in the making and other upcoming nominees, who are the show are simply used and paraded for free.

This, despite the fact that sponsorship, organisers’ owned channel of advertisement and sale of the show is based on the product. The disregard for the value of the product/practitioner has deteriorated to e-mail and text message nomination notifications and invitation, or requirement to fly at personal expense to receive awards for which fans pay to attend to see the stars with no remuneration to the nominee and in some cases, the same award is sold for $10 in a New York store.
This blatant exploitation must stop.

The Guilds have to move into action to streamline these award events down to those bodies who are serious about promoting the growth of the Industry and adding meaningful value to the career of practitioners.

It has become necessary to withhold guilds’ endorsements for these award events until stipulated requirements are met; such as obtaining a license from the conference of Nollywood guilds for a fee, proof of prize for award nominees and winners, and a verifiable document of agreement signed by the Guild of Producers, and the association of marketers endorsing the award.

Such a process will help structure the industry against easy exploitation, promote focused growth and build industry collaboration with bodies having serious intent to promote and add value to the industry.

article copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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The Nigerian Blogging space has many women who are talented with the written word and who stand out in their chosen niche. Here are the ladies behind 15 of the popular women owned sites/blogs in the entertainment/news/gossip/lifestyle categories. In no particular order, they are;

Linda Ikeji
Linda Ikeji, a former model, started Nigeria's number one blog - Linda Ikeji Blog 7+ years ago. Linda focuses on news, gossip and scoops from the entertainment industry, celebrity, politics and everyday lives of Nigerians.

Uche Pedro
Her website is at the forefront of popular culture. Uche Pedro owns Bella Naija, one of the most visited websites in Nigeria, covering music, lifestyle, weddings, TV, and beauty and other trending topics.

Ladun Liadi
Oladunni “Ladun” Liadi is the founder and author of Ladun Liadi's Blog. She writes majorly on entertainment and celebrity gossip.

Stella Dimokokorkus
Stella is an entertainment journalist who blogs about a variety of topics including entertainment, news, life and celebrity gossip. She blogs at stelladimokokorkus.com

Aziza Uko
She is the owner of online news website The Trent. Her website covers news on entertainment, politics, world events, fashion, red carpet events and many more.

Ajibade Oluwatosin
Oluwatosin is Olori Supergal. She blogs blogs a wide variety of trending topics including entertainment and celebrity news.

Shola Okubote
Shola is the owner of women centric Nigerian website Femme Lounge. The website is dedicated to news, women related issues and debates/opinions by Nigeria women for the Nigerian Woman.

Yemisi Aiyedun
Sisi Yemmie is a personal blogger. Her blog which focuses on food recipes, hair, beauty.... is laced with a very personal touch and sometimes light humour.

Emeh Achanga
Miss Petite Nigeria is run by lawyer turned blogger, Emeh Achanga and she blogs about fashion, entertainment, news and lifestyle stories.

Teefah Rozay
That 1960 Chick (No, she isn't mates with Nigeria) blogs as Teefah Rozay. Her website covers pop culture, celebrity gossip and fashion scoops.

Myne Whitman
She was born Nkem Okotcha but writes under the pseudonym - Myne Whitman. She is a romance fiction writer and also blogs about parenting, relationships and entertainment on Romance Meets Life.

Kemi Filani
Kemi owns kemifilani.com. Her blog is "a new age blog that celebrates GOD, Love/weddings, Juicy celebrity gist, inspiration, movies and News Breakdown in Contemporary style."

Laila Ijeoma
Laila blogs on Nigeria-centric news, celebrity news, celebrity gossip and entertainment news on - Laila's Blog .

Ono Bello
ono-belloOno owns the self titled onobello.com. Her website covers fashion stories, beauty tips, news, entertainment scoops and red carpets.

Tiwa
Tiwa is the owner of tiwasblog.com, her blog focuses on celebrity gossip, fashion and entertainment new



Complied by Chidinma Anozie, copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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It is so sad that despite the massive information out there about the terrible effects of Female Genital Mutilation, some families in Nigeria still continue to practise this harmful tradition.

In Ushi-Ekiti, a mother has had to flee her home with her 5 year-old daughter because her finance’s family insists on carrying out the circumcision rites on her.

Here is an excerpt from the story written by Wole Balogun for Sun Newspaper;

Miss Olufunke Oyenekan, mother of the 5-year old girl and fiancee to Mr. Emmanuel Olaoye, son of the Olaoyes, a royal family in Ushi-Ekiti, Ekiti State, had disagreed with the Olaoyes over their decision to perform the traditional circumcision rites on her daughter. The woman, sensing that her husband’s family wanted to perform the rites by all means, fled with her child from the Olaoye’s family house in Ushi Ekiti in 2012 and her whereabouts has since remain unknown.

Recently, the Olaoye family again raised the alarm through a representative, identified as Chief Olu Olaoye over the sudden disappear­ance of Olufunke and her daughter. The family said that their son’s fiancee did not mean well for the family by preventing them from per­forming the circumcision rites on the child. Their explana­tion is that it is a mandatory cultural practice to have all their children circumcised, moreso that theirs is a royal family whose duty it is to preserve the cultural heritage of the people of Ushi Ekiti in order to set an example for the people.

“She (Olufunke) is not helping us, neither is she helping our daughter she has taken away. There are certain cultural practices that we adhere to in our land, some are avoidable while others are not. This practice of circum­cision is part of the unavoid­able ones. Olufunke cannot prevent us from carrying out cultural and traditional rites on our own blood. It is a must that we do the circumcision rites for the girl. Moreso, that the child is a princess, a daughter from the royal fami­ly of Ushi Ekiti and possibly a future regent!.

“We have told them (Olu­funke’s family) that they must ensure that they produce her because she cannot prevent us from performing our tradi­tional duties. She must bring our daughter for the circum­cision rites, “ he said, fuming with anger.

Meanwhile, Olufunke has vowed not to allow anyone, even if it is her husband, to carry out any circumcision rites on her daughter.

article copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Fights in relationships seem inevitable especially if there is a nagging partner. Your ability to discern common or rather simple fights before they occur will keep you one step ahead and help you save what’s left of your relationship. In this article are some common reasons for fights in relationships and how to shun or prevent them from destroying you and your relationship.

Money: In relationships a lady wants a man who can provide and who basically has a bright future while a man on the other hand wants an independent woman. The question at the end of the day is “how much to you contribute our relationship” whether it’s a basic relationship or a marriage. How do you avoid this? Talk about money first of all, make sure you both reach an agreement on how much each person should bring to the table at the end of the month and ensure you both are working, with this either partner has no reason to nag since it’s an agreement.

Jealousy: When the word jealousy pops up people often tend to think of the female in the relationship but in reality both partners are quite vulnerable. It’s very important for you to understand that your partner has chosen to be with you and you have no reason to be jealous. Jealousy is avoidable trust me.

Sex: Sex can either break or make a relationship, it all depends on how far you choose to use this tool. In a relationship/marriage one partner often times desire sex a little more than the other, if you feel like the weaker one in this situation it’s advisable to sit your partner down and discuss this with your partner before it destroys you and your relationship.

The past: People often times say” I do not care about your past, as long as I have you”. You know you just said that to make your partner happy and to live the moment but you secretly go digging up their past. It’s their past you are the present you should have nothing to do there. You have to understand that the past cannot be changed and you should get over that.

Communication: most breakups are caused by lack of communication and from this mini fights come up. Effective communication is key in a relationship and also you have to listen to your partner whether it’s a man or a woman we always want to be able to talk about our feelings, bad day, and new gadget, so take out time to listen and respond to your partner.

With this basic knowledge up your sleeves evaluate your relationship now and work on it. Please share in the comment section simple fights you experience in your relationship or ones you have observed in peoples relationships.


Writer: Oluwadamilola Alabi copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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It was my wedding day.

Femi was my prince charming and I was his princess.

I had dreamed of this day since I was a teenager. My face lit up with a smile every time one of our friends or family members hugged me and said congratulations. I was in heaven.

I enjoyed every aspect of the ceremony – the time Femi and I showed everyone our dance steps at the reception venue, the fragrance of hibiscus all over the hall, the prayers and blessings pronounced on us and the taste of our lilac wedding cake.

I looked up to the sky and said a silent thank you to God.

I believed, like the die-hard romantic that I was, that my prince charming would fulfill all my fairytale dreams.

As we scrambled into our car and drove away amidst shouts of congratulations and goodbyes from our wedding guests, I imagined we were only going to begin our “happily ever after” life together.

We spent our wedding night in a nearby hotel. We didn’t want to go home since we had some relatives over. Our plan was to leave the next day for our honeymoon. That wedding night was so beautiful. I was still smiling when I fell asleep next to my brand new husband.

My fairytale marriage was happening – it was all coming together.

Two weeks after our wedding, we returned from our honeymoon (which was wonderful by the way), and our marriage started.

It was beautiful, apart from the occasional emotional squabbles that arose as a result of the differences in our personalities.

While attending premarital counseling, Femi and I discussed the fact that I am a go-getter, very creative especially with planning and very ambitious. I am also quite thrifty with money.

Femi, on the other hand, is more laid back, logical and slower to act. He does not have very strong money management skills.

He believes in spending first, and investing later. Though we were told during counseling how to deal with issues that may arise because of our personality differences, in reality we often struggled to cope.

I wished Femi would be more aggressive especially about his career, but Femi preferred to take things as they came. I also wished Femi was more into investing in income generating assets rather than acquiring the latest cars.

I did not like it, but I convinced myself that I loved him and could live with this one shortcoming. At least he tolerated me and my idiosyncrasies. I was determined to live the fairytale……until one evening in 2006.

Femi came home from work, and I greeted him excitedly. His response was cold. I instinctively knew something was wrong. I looked at him questioningly. He looked away, but he finally found his voice.

“I got laid off today. My bank is downsizing and I was affected’’. His words sounded like a bombshell.

I was dumbfounded. Yes, because of the instability in the banking industry, lots of bankers were losing their jobs. I never thought it would happen to us.

My mind reeled. This was not the right time for such a thing to happen to us. We had a mortgage to pay and Femi just obtained a loan to buy a new car (against my advice, I might add). Not to mention the new credit card he just obtained from the bank from which he had already started making purchases. My God, this cannot be happening.

Typical of me, I had started making a list in my head of all the contacts we had in other banks. Femi could start contacting them as soon as possible. I imagined he wouldnavigate around this obstacle, go out and get another job within a few weeks. Everything would work out fine.

….or so I thought.

We started making phone calls to everyone we knew who could help. Some asked for Femi’s resume and some others promised to get back to us. We sent out what seemed to be hundreds of resumes. Surely one would yield a job.

Because of Femi’s lavish spending, we did not have a lot of savings. Days turned to weeks and then to months……………….and our funds started to dry up. I was getting frustrated.

“For better, for worse” were words I had meant when I had said them on our wedding day, but they had seemed easier to accept when we had sufficient income coming in each month.

I tried to be supportive. I tried to be strong. But as the reality of our situation became more real as the days passed, I panicked. I started nagging at Femi and our arguments got more frequent and more toxic. To make matters worse, Femi froze emotionally. Not only couldn’t he get a job; he could offer me little by way of romance and communication.

This couldn’t be happening!

Fear and despair began to settle in, weighing down my usual buoyant spirit.

What about my hopes and dreams? What was happening to my fairytale marriage? Why couldn’t Femi get another job? Why wasn’t he more of a fighter? Didn’t he want to get a job?

During this time, I had continued attending church as well as fellowship. The prayers and love of the women in my fellowship had helped me during much of the hard times. Often, when I was extremely discouraged, I would call Tolu, my prayer partner. Each time she encouraged me to hand the problems over to God and trust in Him.

From my bible studies, I knew that God wanted me to be a submissive wife and I really wanted to. But my go-getter attitude, in addition to the situation we were in, made me fail to be truly and completely submissive.

Still I tried.

I encouraged Femi to talk to me; I encouraged him to trust God. He would usually go along with me…..but only until the reality of our situation dawned on him afresh. I encouraged Femi to pray with me, and we started praying together. And in a few weeks, he got a job.

It was not the kind of job I had hoped for, but I was grateful. Even though he was barely earning half of his previous salary, I was glad that we were finally coming out of the woods.

Or were we?

I often felt a strange mix of gratitude and disappointment whenever I thought of Femi’s new job.

I didn’t completely like it!

After waiting all these months for Femi to get a job, should I not be more grateful?

Somehow, I knew this was not the fairytale marriage I had dreamed of. What about Femi’s degrees and many years of experience in the bank? Why couldn’t he get a higher paying job? In his old job, we had free medicals, memberships to Ikoyi club and paid vacations. Now we got none of that!

That was when God started to speak to my heart.

When Femi was jobless, I sought God’s face for a job……….any job. Now that Femi had a job, I was being picky. It seemed like I had forgotten all the months when we were on the brink of bankruptcy. I had forgotten all the promises I made to God.

How ungrateful could I get?

God was there for me during the tough times. In my heart, I knew what I had to do to show him gratitude. I told myself I could do without certain luxuries like vacations overseas, expensive body and facial creams and designer clothes.

We could survive with just one car, less eating out and absolutely no shopping sprees. I fought hard against torrents of despair and ingratitude that tried to flood my heart.

Sometimes I won, other times I didn’t.

Instead of focusing on Femi’s job, I focused on our relationship. Femi may not be a prince in shining armor, but he was my prince all the same, and I was determined to treat him as such.

We started spending more and more time together. We talked, we played, we learned…..and our relationship deepened. Humility began to replace walls of pride, and communication started to take the place of malice. Instead of nagging, I took my requests to God.

I no longer dwelt on Femi’s weaknesses.

Instead, I started working on mine. And as I exposed my weaknesses, I discovered that Femi had many strengths that I had failed to notice before. Femi opened the strongholds of his heart to me. Love and respect blossomed between us, as each investment in our relationship stirred the flames of love.

Femi humbled himself and asked me to teach him money management. He admitted he had a spending problem. I was overjoyed. This is what I had always prayed for.

Could it be that my fairytale marriage could still be a reality?

I began to think that it might.

Two years passed. We managed. We got by. We were happy. I no longer felt the pressure to force Femi to look for a higher paying job. I knew things would be sorted out in the right time. I was learning how to live with the new person my husband had become.

One day, Femi told me he was going into business with a friend of his.

We did all the necessary checks and balances. We prayed. It felt like the right thing to do. So I gave him my blessings.

That was nine months ago.

Today, the business is growing. Femi is not making millions yet (though I hope that time is just round the corner), but he is making a decent income and he loves what he does.

For now, that’s enough for me.

Today, I am still not living the dreams I once treasured. Instead I have a marriage with Femi that is stable and satisfying.

Instead of focusing on less important things and expecting my husband to meet all my needs, somewhere along the way, I learned to make God my source. I learned that instead of forcing my husband to be the husband of my dreams, I had more success focusing on being the wife of his dreams.

Today we share a wealth of companionship that comes only through persevering through tough together.

I have to admit, this reality exceeds my fairytale marriage.

So there – that has been my journey in the land of ‘marriage’. What has your been like? Or what would you like it to be like? Tell us in the comments box below.

And don’t forget to share with your friends.

I am going over now to the comments section to see what marriage tips I could learn from you


Writer: Seyi Obasi, copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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Gbemisola Saraki, former senator and younger sister of former governor of Kwara State, Bukola Saraki, has announced her decision to run for the position of Kwara State governor in February 2015. She will be running on the platform of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP).

She will be joining the list of women at the forefront in the race to becoming Nigeria’s first elected female governor.

Olakunle Olayinka in his article on Guardian, reviwed the profile of some of the likely history makers:

Senator Helen Esuene, is a sitting Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria representing AkwaIbom South and is a member of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP). She has served in various ministerial capacities under different administrations as; Minister of State for Health (2005 – 2006), Minster of Environment (2006 – 2007), Minister of Environment and Housing (2007). She has made very clear her intentions to replace GodswillAkpabio as the next Governor of Akwa Ibom and hopes to bring change to the state.

Dr. Ngozi Olejeme is a Nigerian philanthropist, entrepreneur, politician and administrator. Dr. Olejeme presently sits as the chairman of the board of the National Social Insurance Trust Fund (NSITF), Subsidy Reinvestment Program (SURE P) and Trust Fund Pensions PLC. She is also a member of several other corporate boards. Dr. Olejeme is strongly being touted as the successor to the out-going Edo State Governor Emmanuel Uduaghan and has been backed by a great proportion of Delta indigenes at home and abroad. She is vying for the post of Delta Governorship position on the platform of the PDP and appears to be garnering supporters in droves daily. She appears a very strong candidate for the post by all indications and cannot be taken lightly by other contenders.

Abike Dabiri-Erewa: A known media doyen who had worked with the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA), Abike Dabiri-Erewa has advanced her political career greatly in recent years. She is a sitting member of the House of Representatives, representing Ikorodu constituency in Lagos State and is presently serving her third term as a House member. She was formerly the Chairman of the House Committee on Media and Publicity and is presently, Chairman, House Committee on Diaspora Affairs and has won several local as well as international awards for her effectiveness in this role. Described while being presented with the Diaspora Bridge builders Award in Washington recently, “as a virtuous, respected, trustworthy, courteous woman with strong values, demonstrated ability to achieve results and a woman worthy of emulation”. She is very well known for her commitment to justice and is also strongly being touted as a possible successor to Governor Fashola on the platform of the All Progressive Congress (APC). All eyes are particularly on Lagos, to set the pace as it has always done. Though Abike Dabiri Erewa has not formerly declared her intention to run she had told a group of young Nigerians, who had a social media interactive session with her. “I don’t doubt my capacity and capability. Sometimes people say to me, you are very good but you are a woman. There are still challenges for women in politics in Nigeria but we must not be discouraged. Consultations are ongoing; ultimately it will be my party, APC’s decision”

Senator Nkechi Nwaogwu is a sitting Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria representing Abia State at the National Assembly on the platform of the PDP. An ersthwhile professional, Senator Nwaogowu was an astute banker before venturing into the murky waters of Nigerian politics where she has excelled greatly. She has served as chairman of various committees making visible change and impacting on the society. She is presently chairman of the Upper House Committee on Banking. She is by no means a stranger to blazing the trail; having been the first woman to win a seat from Abia state both at the House and subsequently the Senate. In her words “if my party would support me, I will run for the post of governorship. It is my aspiration, my desire”. She hopes to succeed Governor Theodore Orji on the platform of the PDP. field for all aspirants. Party primaries are just around the corner with the heat cooking in the kitchen of the various parties. Consultations, dealings, and all the usual politicking are in high gear. We can only hope that whether man, woman, old or young our political parties would present candidates with a credible pedigree with the capacity and wherewithal to implement positive change. Who will make history with Nigeria’s first elected female governor? APC or PDP? Only time will tell.

Read full article here, copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Imagine this!

It’s the Champion leagues season and your club is playing in the finals.

You have prayed. You have calculated. You have entered the psyche of the coach and you have a fool proof game plan all perfectly arranged. You have watched old matches to boost your confidence. You are ready!

And now the D-Day is here!

As the lead striker from the competitors weave the ball towards the goal post of your club, you get into a frenzy and…..

Before you realise what’s going on, you are praying frantically.

DEAR GOD, PLEASE LET THEM MISS!! DON’T LET THEM SCORE!!!

With all your might, you HOPE they fail.

I hope you can relate. If you can’t, there are countless instances when you may have wished others would fail.

We’ve all been there.

We do our best + hope the competition screws up.

Whether in the passionate moments of the big football game. At an interview where there is competition. At a promotion presentation at work. When someone else dared to smile at the person you like. The moment before the winner of a competition is announced. During a sales presentation to win a client…the list is endless.

But here’s the deal…

Wishing others failure is not a strategy for success. Instead, race your own horse faster than try to stop someone’s horse from running fast.

What then should be your strategy for success?

Two thoughts on this…

It’s better to win by excellence than by climbing on the failures of someone else

‘Is this possible?’ you ask. Since most of us have been conditioned to ‘kill or be killed’, we are on the ‘survival of the fittest’ mode most of the time. Instead of seeing the other party as a worthy opponent, we view them as ‘the enemy.

Like I said earlier, we have mostly been ‘conditioned’, so it’s not really our fault. But in order to make a change and begin to do the ‘right thing’, a mentality shift is necessary – there’s more than enough business (and success) for everyone who wants it.

When you know that their success DOES NOT EQUAL your failure, you will live and let live. And surprisingly, you will begin to succeed (mostly because you now use all that energy looking for ways to succeed rather than wishing others failure).

Two, you should actually wish others well. Why?

Wishing others would fail is kind of like a hidden ‘buy one get one free offer’. You wish them failure and “buy” some disappointment for yourself as well. You invite the same energy that you are sending out.

So, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Even if you are really desperate, it is better to win knowing that you kicked some ass honourably, rather than wishing someone would fail so you could ride on their failure.

So in a nutshell….

The next time you notice your competition could use some help, offer it to them. If they forget the answer to a question, point them in the right direction.

It’s the right thing to do. And it does not make you a failure.

My belief is that you if actively exercise this ‘do the right thing’ muscle in situations when you do have time to think it out and process it before acting, you are more likely to instinctively use it when there is no time to think about it.

When we get to this place of confidence, we actually wish our competitors well…..

And that is when our success actually begins!

What is your strategy for success? Share in the comments box below.

Written by Seyi Obasi copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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By ‘Nike Adebayo

Recently, I was asked to watch and review a Ghanaian movie titled “Single & Married”, and I was filled with regret after watching it. I had just wasted 1hr 45mins of my existence on a baseless, porn-filled movie. To say I was ashamed of every actor that took part in that movie would be an understatement. Have you seen any music videos of late? They are filled with naked women jumping up and down, degrading themselves and allowing themselves to be abused by men. Which way Africa?

Over the past decade, the African movie industry (Nollywood, Ghallywood and all the other woods) have grown tremendously. The change in storyline, level of talent and standard of production that is evident in most African movies is beyond commendation. With particular focus on Nollywood/Ghallywood movie, it is evident that producers are challenging themselves to do better while the actors are taking more time to learn about the characters they portray. Indeed, the African Entertainment Industry is taking the world by storm. However, with growth comes change and that change is not always a positive one.

Nudity, sex, porn and unexplained wealth have become the order of the day in Nollywood/Ghallywood movies. There is hardly any movie or music video that does not entail any of the aforementioned. African movies have drifted away from the slogan “less is more” and have made porn/nudity the means of selling movies and music videos. Decency has been left for the dogs and protruding cleavages, tattoos and skimpy clothing is now the “selling point.” Talent has taken a back seat to the ability to wear daisy dukes shorts and cat-walk down the red carpet.

The values, morals, traditions and standards that separate African movies from others are being torn down. Some movies and music videos are destroying the foundation upon which the industry was built. Why must we be like the westerners? Can’t we grow and become civilized without trading our dignity and substance? Let a porn movie be it and let a home video be it. A combination of both is misleading, degrading and unacceptable. What about are the young ones? What impression is Nollywood laying on their innocent minds? Gone are the days when you could enjoy a home video in the company of family members; you never know what shocking display of immorality will be displayed in the movie.

Another movie that accurately depicts this insanity is “My First Wife.” From the inception of the movie, I could tell it was made for the trash. One second I’m watching an “ok” movie, and the next second they are having blown out, uncensored sex! Say what? “Aint nobody got time for that.” Yoruba movies are no exception. Movies such as “Omo Gucci” and “Ija Ashawo” are just typical example of mismanagement of funds. Imagine Dangote investing is hard earned money is such rubbish? To begin to name names and compile a list of movies/producers that have fallen prey to these evil deeds will be an absolute waste of my time and yours.

But then I ask myself, who is to blame? Do we blame the producers of the movies who allow their funds to be used in such unimaginable ways? Or do we blame the actors and actresses who partake in acts? Maybe we should blame the social media/bloggers who give airtime to and celebrate these actors/actresses? We could even blame the system/politicians/organizations who constantly dash our “awards” to mediocre actors and actresses? Who do we blame?

Looking at the totality of the circumstance, I am forced to ask myself whether the African Entertainment Industry is indeed growing and evolving or rather regressing. The impact of this wrong is felt on the society. People are influenced by what they see. There is increase in rape, nudity and money rituals. Ladies are doing all they can to wear Brazilian hair while men have turned criminals just so they can drive a 2013 Rang Rover at age of 22. Hard work now takes too long; just show your boobs, look pretty and you are star. I’m saddened, my heart is broken. Which way Africa?

copied from www.femmelounge.ng
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I have been dating this guy for four months. He is two years older than I am and I met him at a friend’s party. He is smarter and more intelligent than any other guy I have ever dated and I really like that about him. But that comes with a downside too; I am always struggling to keep up with him because apart from girly stuff here and there I have no deep knowledge about any other topic. (I didn’t even know the difference between the democrats and republicans or which party Obama belongs to until I met him).

In fairness to him he tries to come down to my level when we are alone, but when we are hanging out with his friends and their girlfriends he enjoys their company a lot because they are all smart like him, even their girlfriends. Most times I feel like an alien in the room, struggling to grasp what they are saying and when I contribute, I see the reaction in their faces even though they try to be polite about it, I would know I just made a dumb statement.

There is hardly any topic they can’t discuss and argue about with ease and with so much in-depth knowledge, from fashion to sports, politics, music, arts, current happenings around the world, just name it. I am a 23year old university graduate but I feel like an illiterate around him.

I have never discussed it with him because I think he knows too. I love him a lot and he is the kind of man I want to marry but I wonder if my ‘dumbness’ will not chase him away at the end of the day.

I am starting to read more and learn new things now, but its so overwhelming there are so many things i don’t know.

Written by a sad girl copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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We all know that the economy has been down lately. Many women are looking for side-jobs to make extra money. This includes women with full time jobs and also women who don’t have jobs, like house wives and university students. However, there are a number of great side-jobs that you can find to make extra money. Some of them are fun provided you are passionate about the one you choose to do. Without further delay, let’s get started.

Training/Tutoring
As women, we all have something we can teach. Interestingly, everyone has something they need to learn too. Usually, it’s very easy to find someone who will pay you to teach them how to do something.
First ask yourself, “what knowledge do I have that others will be willing to pay for?”. You can teach people how to prepare their CVs, how to take care of their natural hair, how to play a musical instrument, how to start pure water business, how to prepare for a professional exam that you have done, how to cook….the list is endless. This will only require few hours a week and you can charge reasonable hourly or monthly rates.

Performing
You can make some extra money if you can sing, play musical instruments, dance or act. It may take you a long time if you plan to release your own album. However, joining a music band or famous choir and accompanying them for gigs can help you make extra money. Some celebrants or events require live performance so you can equally play an instrument, sing, dance or act when called too. All you need to do is have a passion for it and make the right moves.

Arts and Crafts
There are many arts and crafts you can get involved in as a woman that will get you the extra money you want. You can make bead earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and ankle bracelets. You can press t-shirts. You can even tie-dye clothing, bedding, and other cloth items. Also, you can make handbags and shoes with fabrics. You can draw and paint. Once you have the products made, your customers are everywhere. You can sell to your friends and family. You can even sell to random strangers you meet. You can set up shop stand at local festivals or events to sell your products. Once again, there are no limits and if you’re good at what you do, you can make some easy money doing it.

Bar-tending/Ushering
Due to the flexible hours, bar-tending and serving are great side-jobs. In most cases, you can find a place that will let you work in the mornings or evenings if you have to. With bar-tending, you’ll likely end up on late night shifts. However, there is great potential to make some good money at these jobs. Also, during the weekends, you could get the opportunity to work at weddings, funerals and parties serving guests. As you can imagine, the people who make the most in these side-jobs are people who work in the evenings and on weekends. If that’s the time frame you have available, then this could be the job for you. You may even enjoy this work if you’re a social person.

Catering Services
There are varieties of cooking jobs now that don’t require you to own a restaurant. Cooking for parties during the weekend or cooking specific meals for families every weekend can earn you extra bucks provided you have a good customer base. You can work as a personal chef providing meals to individuals and families weekly. A lot of bachelors need home cooked meals every week and would definitely patronize any woman who chooses catering as her side job provided she does it very well.

Trading
Trading is a great way to make extra money. In fact, a lot of women have ended up as millionaires through trading. Trading could be done as a side job to make profit. You can import items from different countries and sell to your colleagues at work, school, neighbours and friends. Once you know your potential customers’ needs, you can solve their problem or need by supplying products. Once, you have a passion for trading and can convince people to buy your products, you are on your way to making big money even as you moonlight with trading.

Baking
Moonlighting as a baker can be quite lucrative. Baking cakes for birthdays, weddings or even for schools and supermarkets can bring you that extra money you have been craving for. All you need to do is learn bakery and be good at it. Also, if you are able to interact with people and get them to taste your cakes you are on the verge of making it big in the bakery industry.

Party Planning
If you have a passion for organizing events, you may be successful as a party planner. You can plan parties on your own as well as also seek for employment in event planning companies seeking part-time help.

Altering or Tailoring Clothes
There is a serious demand for tailors and you can be very successful as a tailor who mends readymade clothes well. A lot of women don’t seem to look into this but if you are known for altering or tailoring clothes professionally, you will definitely make extra money doing it for people.

Providing Beauty Services
If you have a passion for making other people look beautiful, you can choose to work as a part-time beauty consultant or make-up artist. You can even work as a hair stylist cutting, drying, braiding and fixing hair. Do your research well and learn all you can and this could bring you some good extra change.

In conclusion, although, these are some wonderful ways to make extra bucks as a woman, there are also a lot more out there! Absolutely, any skill you can think of can be turned into a way to make money. What is important is that you make sure you find what’s right for you. There will be no point having a side job that you hate. Therefore, take your time, find something you love, and you’ll find something rewarding that you can do for years happily. I hope this helped. Cheers!

Written by Uke Oshaka copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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I slept late last night, which is nothing new. I sleep late every night. Last night however, was different. Let me explain.

The past few months have been terribly sad for me. I smiled a lot during the day. At night, I wake up coughing only to realize I’m choking on my own spit. I’d been crying hence the reason for all the spit in my mouth. (I know! Disgusting) then I ask myself what the reason for the crying is and I come to the conclusion that I’m very unhappy. Contrary to what we all know and have been taught, I have placed a lot of my happiness and well being in the hands of others. I had been happy because certain people were in my life. Now they’re gone. How in the world did I ever think we would be friends forever?

The say people enter your life for reason or season and er… what’s the other one again? Well whatever. You’re supposed to just roll with the punches when they walk out on you regardless of what you feel. I’ve always wondered how someone who says they love you can suddenly not love you anymore. How easy it is to take all the affection they showered on you and pour it in buckets on someone else. The painful part is watching it happen and knowing without a doubt that you’ve been shut out completely. You’d like to complain but what good would it do? You’re out and you’re out. You find yourself being miserable all the time. But if you’re like me, then you have that smile that masks everything. Lucky me.

You smile when you see them down the street in your local drugstore knowing full well that they won’t stop over to say hello. You smile when they say hello to you like an ordinary acquaintance, as if you were never close. You even smile when you see their profile updates on facebook or that dreadful device people “ping” on nowadays.( Topic: Social media as a torture tool). You smile till it hurts to smile and then you pray that night comes so you can sleep and hope that when morning comes you’ll be closer to not giving a hoot about them. They’ve gone on to live their lives so why shouldn’t I? If only it were that easy.

On my way out of the office yesterday, I got a ride from a friend of mine. He somehow noticed that my smile was a mask. He took a peek underneath. I poured everything out. Gosh! It felt good to let go. The worst kind of pain is the one you can’t talk to anyone about. That burden you bear all on your own. It’s like a cancer with all its glorified stages. It eats you up slowly. Talking about it helped I didn’t even cry.

This morning I woke up feeling different. I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night again. I slept like a baby. No choking. I woke up feeling like a change has come. I still remember but I don’t mind anymore. It feels like things will get better. Soon I might just not remember any of this ever happened and all will be well again. Somewhere inside I still hurt. It’s natural, I tell myself. Soon I’ll feel nothing. I’m going to be happy again

Dear reader, I know what you’re dying to ask. Am I a woman? Yes. I’m a very tired woman. Is all this jargon about a man? …but of course it’s about a man. Ok, you say. Did he leave you for another woman after telling you he loved you? If you skipped the first three paragraphs you wouldn’t ask that. (Climb back up the page will you!). Did you love him? My answer would have to be “Very much”.

Writer: Nina copied from www.femmelounge.ng
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A guy I had just met at work went with me to get some groceries on my way home, while I was waiting on the queue to pay for my items, he asked me a question. I looked up from my purse to reply and that’s when I saw him doing it. He put his forefinger into his nose, stirred it with pleasure, brought out the dried nasal mucus, rubbed it between his forefinger and his thumb and ejected it with his fingernails. It passed right in front of my eyes and landed on the counter. ewww!

I looked around to see who was watching, everyone around had a look of disgust on their faces, I was embarrassed. It was so irritating I wanted to throw up.

How on earth could he do that? I was so irritated that I became really cold to him till he left and every time I have seen him since then, that’s the picture that comes to my mind.

Sometimes when I think about it I feel like a hypocrite, because the truth is that I pick my nose too. Using my finger gets the job done faster and neater and sometimes it’s enjoyable, but I do it in private! I choose to believe I have never been caught in public, at least until someone proves me guilty

Wikipedia described nose picking as, “the act of extracting dried nasal mucus or foreign bodies from the nose with a finger. Despite being a very common habit, it is a mildly taboo activity in most cultures, and the observation of the activity in another person may provoke mixed feelings of disgust and amusement”.

Here is the thing; we do it but we get disgusted when we see other people doing it!

So, if you must do it, please don’t get caught in public. Not by someone you are asking out, not by fellow passengers on the bus, not by clients, and definitely not by 800,000,000 viewers like the Nigerian woman that was shown during the Champions League finals some years ago!

Now a video that shows her digging it will be on YouTube forever!

Dig it however you want but not in public please

copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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There comes a time in the life of a Nigerian girl, that it is expected of her to have this singular purpose distilled in all her pursuits -irrespective of how much sense she has made of her life, how fat she earns or how much she looks like she’s having a swell time: to find (or be found) by a man, a good man, who works diligently with his hands and eschews wee-wee.

This is not a feministic piece. The boys are pressured too, even though women have it worse, seeing that they themselves mount these expectations on themselves.

I remember when in my late teens, I had sworn by my right hand that the age 22 would not meet me single. I was already counting with my fingers how many years I would spend in the University, the one year at Youth Service and the immediate marriage that ought to follow.

Who had put such unwise thoughts in my head? Perhaps I saw the agitation in the faces of the women I knew who lived out the conviction that if the big O (30), met a woman single, then she was standing on the brink of eternal doom.

Or perhaps the thought came to me in morning devotions when my mother interceded for certain relatives who were doomed in their singleness. ‘Heavenly Father,’ she’d pray, ‘you know they are over-ripened for marriage. Send them good men.’

So the Nigerian girl is in a fit. Once she’s 25, she is a gleaming, sun-ripened mango in a garden waiting to be plucked, with everyone around her singing, “When will you marry, this year or next year?”. At 28, she becomes giddy and at 30 she ought to flee to a tabernacle, praying and hoping to be preserved from rottenness.

We are not taught that we define our ‘ripeness’, not age. Some are ripe at eighteen, some take a longer time, say 40. We are all not Justin Biebers. It takes some of us time to learn and unlearn certain things required for life-time commitment.
For instance, we need time to unlearn polygamy. (And I roll my eyes at any one who is stuck in the belief that only men are polygamous in nature.) Marriage requires one to be single-eyed, to say of ones lover: ‘All I see and want is you; no one else can satisfy.’ This is tough, my people, seeing that the world is full and teeming with handsome men.

We need time to unlearn our childhood selfishness and time to learn sharing. For some of us, sharing is not our forte. Our sleep is deeper and our beds feel better when we are on it alone. Our meals taste better when another hand is not dipped into the same bowl with us.

We need time to make up our minds that for a huge part of our lives, we would play second fiddle. I see my father sacrifice his will on the altar of my mother. I see my mother let go lucrative opportunities because, ‘It doesn’t sit well with your father.’ And I ask myself, Are you ready for this? to give over your will and not carry on as usual your every decision; your life a shared compartment? Your life so shared that even your waking hours could alter another’s day?

And after she’s is wedded, the Nigerian girl’s next point of duty, of course is motherhood- there are no questions about it. Mother-in-law is sitting in a corner, arms folded, tapping her foot in anticipation of her grandchild.

Though it is 21st century, society has failed to grasp that not all women have maternal instincts; not all bosoms will nurse a child. We all shall not be wives and mothers. This is not a curse; this is a declaration of fact. Can we not see our orphanages bursting forth with unwanted children, abandoned at birth by unwilling mothers? The Nigerian girl, turned woman has these babies, not because she loves motherhood, but because mouths would wag and mother-in-law would threaten fire and brimstone if she doesn’t produce after her kind.

With these few points of mine, I am still pondering my readiness.


Writer: Ucheoma Onwutuebe, copied from www.femmelounge.ng


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One too many times, we hear people say ‘I need a soul mate, someone who can complete me’. This, to me, is one of the most selfish statements I have ever heard.

Firstly, why would anyone want to be with someone who is incomplete? The truth is: we all want better; we are all selfish. Yes, I said it. I say this because I find it hard to imagine ‘Mr Right’ galloping the entire circumference of the earth, frantically searching for an incomplete lady to complete. In fact, ‘Mr Right’ is probably looking for someone to complete him as well!

So what does this make us? Does it mean that we are all lacking, looking for that person who makes us whole? Now, that is a big problem! A steaming bowl of problems, I tell you. What have we been doing with our years? Those years of being ‘single and searching’ was the time to make ourselves as whole as possible.

Before I proceed, I would like to clarify what I mean by ‘complete’ and ‘whole’. A whole or complete woman knows herself and what she stands for. She has figured herself out and does not live under the illusion that she is perfect. She is aware of her imperfections and works hard to make them manageable and much less than her strong points. Now, each strong point is her selling point (D’Prince could not have said it better, ‘‘identify your selling point’’)

So, where do we go from here??

Firstly, know yourself inside out. Be aware of what you like: your pet peeves, principles and what you stand for. Our men define some of us: their best meals are our best meals, their best movie, writer, political views are ours as well, not by chance, but because we are too lazy to study ourselves. We justify this by saying ‘‘He knows me better than I know myself’’. Really? How does that even work? You were you before he even met you!

Secondly, improve yourself. Once you know yourself, it is time to identify your assets and develop them, since this is what you are bringing to the table. Yes, a relationship is just like a business agreement. Take for instance, a business merger. Two companies agree to amalgamate to form a single company in the best interest of both companies. Before this is done, both parties are aware of their individual assets and liabilities (choosing to disclose this is another issue). If one party is bringing all the assets, and the other, nothing, but liabilities, then it is probably going to end up as an acquisition.

I’m sorry if my idea of relationships comes across a tad too serious, but we have to realise that love is really not enough to sustain a relationship from the wooing stage to the ‘till death do us part’ bit. Yep, there’s that.

People fall in and out of love every day, no one wants this, but it happens. In the unfortunate event that this happens (hopefully not), there has to be other things on the table to keep a man with his lady and the lady with him – long enough for them to find their way back to love.

Our relationships should make us better people. Be it marriage, courtship or our everyday friendships. Before we give another the task of completing us, let us do the best job possible by working on ourselves well enough to be able to complement them.


Writer : Mercy A. copied from www.femmelounge.ng

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I started my life as a young believer and was very devoted too. Though, I think I allowed it affect my appearance.

While growing in my church, they taught us to dress well covered which is a good thing but I and my friends took ours to the extreme.

We would wear ankara often to school in our university days, and even when its English wears, we would be entirely covered. We paid no attention to our hair as long as it was neatly combed, we added nothing to it not even relaxer. My face was always oily and rough, we hardly used the white powder also, we just went very natural.

In my university days, I moved from my house to the class, then to the market or church. I never visited friends. I was always indoors studying the bible and praying. I didn’t really have friends except for some of my church members in my school too. People referred me and my friends as (S.U) as it popularly called in African mentality. I didn’t mind them as long as I was pleasing God.

Days, weeks, months and years passed by and I got no proposal from a man. When I was in my early teens and twenties, I didn’t see any reason to be approached by a man, I saw it as a sin and I never bothered when no one came. At the age of 23/24/25 some of my beautiful friends started getting married. I kept wondering, was I not fine too? Though no one in my family or outside have told me I was beautiful but I was and it was hidden.

Am sharing this story not to discourage you from being religious or the likes but let’s put a caution on how we take care of ourselves. You don’t need to put on the longest skirt and the most free blouse on earth to be a Christian. I wore a lot of Bulukus as some Nigerians called it. I wore native mostly. I was always looking extremely old at my young age. Some people looked at me as a married woman or a mama as some have mistakenly did.

It continued like that and I started praying. I fasted and prayed. I went to all the programs in the church but no husband was coming. My parents and friends were singing it to my ears, “how old I had become”. I wanted to be a leading career woman and a very good Christian too holding leaderships in the church but all my dreams were crumbling in my very eyes.

While I was studying for my second degree in school at the age of 32, I continued my old dressing. Some lecturers referred to me as “Madam” and I had to tell them I was still a “Sisi o”. I never knew one lecturer had been looking at me.

After spending 2years in school, I could still not boast of a man who had toasted or wooed me before either a believer or non-believer. I was just ignored and seen as out of date. I cried all night for an answer but i got none.

One day, our geography lecturer called for my attention and narrated how he had been watching me for years now and had picked interest in me. He was a 43years old man but was looking like he was in his 60s, so unkempt and ugly (forgive me for that word). Though he wasn’t looking nice but the minute he told me he wouldn’t mind marrying me, I quickly went on my knees and said “Yes sir”, I would marry you. He was shocked at my response but I didn’t care and in 2months we did all the necessary introductions and got married late that year. Now am 36, living with a man who looks like a stranger to me but am learning to love and appreciate me. I have an handsome son now and my husband has taught me to look nice while I taught him how to look young too*smiles*.

I was sharing my story with two ladies in my neighbourhood in school after seeing how they dressed shabbily to school. I called their attention and narrated my story to them.

Looking nice is very necessary. You need to look young and beautiful at all times. I must say I am a beautiful woman but I never knew it until I started looking nice in marriage.

Am not saying you should look artificial like most ladies do now but you can still look nice with a nice t-shirt or blouse on a flowered nice skirt or any colour. Men want their partner or ladies generally looking nice and attractive in a godly way.

If you dress like a LovePeddler like most ladies do now, you will be addressed by irresponsible men too. Get social, go for events, seminars, church programmes, go to places you can meet responsible and purposeful men not just any gathering.

I was never social. I didn’t have friends and no one wanted to be friends with me.

Now my friends and family make jest of my Husband because of how he looks but who cares, he has made me a “Mrs” and has taught me to look nice too. Now I take my time to look beautiful before I go out and I have seen men turn their heads, which was something that didn’t happen in my single years.

Singles out there, use your singleness to become productive and active too. Your youthfulness should be channelled to your usefulness. When you do innovative things and look nice too, men would come. Don’t blame God for your situation. You just didn’t make yourself available. I presented myself as a married woman even while single. Please look your youthful years, take care of your skin, body and look good.

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Written by Nyang Nneoma and copied from www.femmelounge.ng

Michelle Obama attended a Get Schooled rally at Booker T. Washington high school in Atlanta last week, as part of the White House’s Reach Higher initiative. After the event Mrs Obama had a chat with MTV News’ Sway Calloway to reflect on her experience at high school and what she wishes she had known and done more.

“I try to tell my kids all the time, growth is about making mistakes, when you’re in high school, you think the world revolves around every shoe you wear and every negative comment somebody says to you. But high school is just a blip on the screen of life and none of that really has any bearing on who you’re going to become. If I’d known that, I would’ve raised my hand even more.” Mrs. Obama said.

What do you wish you had known about life when you were in high school?

copied from www.femmelounge.ng

With the oleku trend being rampant and taking over the Nigerian fashion scene, I think its of great importance to highlight the care of the fabric mostly used to sew this style which is the silk fabric.

Silk fabric is one of the most popular fabric for apparel because of its unique, luxurious, absorbent and comfortable properties.

Silk fabric can be used to create breathtaking bridal wears, blouses, scarves, dresses, iro and buba (oleku).

This fabric does not attract dirt because of its smooth and shinning surface.

It’s a very sexy fabric that clinch to the skin to create a well-defined appearance of the female figure.

I love the soft and lush texture of the silk fabric and the way it flows on the body making everyone appear angelic and super gorgeous.

This fabric has been in existence for a while and its absolutely evergreen because it keeps evolving with the fashion trend at all times.

So in this post am going to emphasize on how to take care of this beautiful fabric which is must-have in every stylish woman’s wardrobe:

It is often recommended to be dry-cleaned and with a mild detergent using the washing machine with a lot of water and a strong wash pressure should be avoided because it can deteriorated the strength of the fabric.

In case you are washing silk with your hands, please apply a mild detergent /liquid soap in water, rub fabric gently and do not allow to wring.

Also note that Silk should not be soaked in bleach at any time and it should also not be exposed to direct sunlight but be dried under a shade.

Lots of care should be exercised when ironing it because it is very sensitive to heat, so it is best to iron when fabric is damp and iron temperature must not higher than 100oC.

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Writer: Modupe Atoyebi-Badaru copied fromwww.femmelounge.ng

here is a lot of pull her down syndrome in our society, we are so quick to judge and criticize other people’s successes. How do celebrities who are constantly in the spotlight handle this?

In an interview with City People, Mercy Johnson shares how she handles destructive criticisms, here are three quotes lovely from her interview;

1. People will keep criticising when they want exactly what you have. They hate and they talk, but they want what you have. They crave to have what you have. So when they talk, the only way to shut them up is to even do better and up your game.

2. We are in an environment where people who have boils all over their faces will look at me that has just 1 pimple on my cheek and try to tell me what cream to use. People hide in the shadow and say stuff.

3. Nobody can make me go back now. So it’s like hate all you want, I am moving. So you are just going to stay there and keep talking and I am ahead of you.

copied from www.femmelounge.ng