₦airaland Forum

Who disturbs my drunken arse... Lol... Dats a wrong word to use here... Bt plz leave it... Itz d spirit of d season

By my time... This is exactly an hour time, dat is if i'm not too drunk to note the time...

movmentish: dat alomo remain On a serious note tis about tym

The Alomo dey wella... Enough to go round... Na the big one dey sef... No dull ooo... Come make we flex...

Redmosquito: Muhehehehehehe! Foxy don mad! Guys no vex ooo! Make I clear my house and room first.
Check back in one or two hours!

like seriously na the only truth wey you don talk since you come back... Eh.... Dat is if you fit classify highness and unwellness as one... Hahahahahahahha....

Men... I dey flop abeg... I don high... **lies on bed and prepares to sleep**

Owk... Dis one do pass highness... Lol... Cuddlemii, no ban me oo... Na my stimulant be this... Crazy ideas coms during these times.... Anywhich way sha... Gudnight...

[quote author=Foxy_Rebirth]Hahahahahhahahahahahhahaha..... Mosquito... What too you to the bank on d 24th.... Gosh... Very stressful banking day o because al men must chop Christmas...[/quote]like seriously I don high... Kai... Alomo + Small Stout + Igbo... Gosh... Mak I throw up jor...

And come imagine say I dey quote myself... I tink I need small banning to clear my eyes .... Lol...

Mosquito... Come and continue...

Hahahahahhahahahahahhahaha..... Mosquito... What too you to the bank on d 24th.... Gosh... Very stressful banking day o because al men must chop Christmas...

Kai.... 24th night and I'm thinking of which church to attend... Kai... Lemme go and see if small stout and Alomo wil cal this nerve of mine... I need high up jor...

I had fallen flat on my face and with the speed at which I was running, I had slided a hundred metres from my original position of fall. Panting and gasping for air I turned round but was pinned down by four foots, two on both of my legs, the two fore foot on both of my arms making me powerless as I stared into big teeth made of steel with saliva dripping from both side of the mouth. The saliva making burning sound as it comes in contact with my cloth and dropping right on my skin. The pain was unbearable and I could not help myself but scream:

''Mama, I no go do am again''.

This is customary with me as I always scream and cry like that each time I had done something wrong and my mother was correcting me with a horse whip. The creature brought it face down to my face, sniffed at then gave a low whimper, almost in excitement. Its ugly tongue came out, covered in fungi, made it way to my face and lapped at me. I squinted, the tongue had felt like a hot red iron on my face and not being able to hold myself anymore, I shouted. ''Arrrrggghhhhh''. The shout seemed to had frightened the creature as it jumped off my body while I prepared to jump and take off.

''bow wow wow'', the creature backed excitedly.

I looked down and was surprise to see Lizzy wagging her tail at me. Well almost like Lizzy if the dog had not been as tall as a donkey, covered in shining glittering spiky armour instead of furs and its saliva boring hole on the ground as it touches it. Lizzy was staring at my face and wagging its tail at me, a tail to be precise because in reality, it is steel, jointed in place to give it joints and a spear like glistening blade attached to the end of it. A monster for a dog.

''Lizzy??''

I voiced out after calming my nerves, and in reply, the tail wagged more excitedly, the whimpering increased and the knees of the dog became bent getting ready to pounce on me in happiness.

''If you mistakenly jump for my body, na my dead body them go pick from here'', I shouted at the dog fearfully. Lizzy stopped wagging her tail and looked up at me and immediately bursted into uncontrolled laughter catching me off guard.

''If I climb you, na crush you go crush abi because I dey air that time when I hold you for ground'', Lizzy spoke and at the same time the armour at her forearm opened wide into sword like feathers.

I moved back, adrenaline pumping, bitter bile playing in my mouth, all set to run for my life. It's one thing to see your dog as big as a donkey but it is another thing to hear it talk and also open wings. Acting as if it read my thoughts, Lizzy smiled exposing the huge steel in its mouth, used its fungus infected tongue to wipe its lips and then spoke to me.

''If you must win this fight, you cannot do it alone, that's why I'm here to help you''.

Fight ke!!! What fight will a marijuana smoking me win, and how is it my concern that those that are fighting wants to involve me. Why would a donkey-like looking dog just come and start saying stuffs about helping me? Thoughts and questions ran through my mind unrestrained.

''Come and hop on my back, we have Dada to catch and the remaining three to find'', as it went down on its knees, a dome shaped glass appearing on its back with a seat.

I pushed the fear I had earlier had behind me and stepped closer to Lizzy who licked at the knee of my trouser with her long tongue exposing a shaky leg. Soon there was a hissing sound as the glass slided open. I hopped in, the glass slided shut, trapping me inside, a pipe came out slowly from a compartment into my mouth. I sucked it and smoke filled my mouth, Igbo mixed with captain black and ermo as I released it into the air my eyes growing a little dimmer with my head becoming lighter. I relaxed.

Gbooommmm!!! The ground shook with me bumping round the glass dome. ''Hold on'', Lizzy screamed and immediately a handle appeared to which I grabbed, having trottle and twisting like a Vespa gear.

I trottled had, put on a gear and Lizzy zoomed into the air, her wings beautifully open. I glanced behind me and saw the lava upturning towards me, falling like thick rains. I took a long drag from the pipe and zoomed away...

I have modified the new post to add more to what I typed. You will find errors on it but bear with me, I'm typing with my phone. I miss work so much.... Now I understand why Mosquito gets inspired in boredom....

I stood there in awe as I gazed at the picture over and over again, why did I not think of the way my hair was raising and my ghost head swelling. I looked around my surrounding, at the weed that was left there for me when suddenly I hear my name from the air,

''Attai, Attai!! wake up, you never die, na just vibration''. I turned round and quitely open my eyes to see Dada staring intently at my face, I try to get up but fell down on the car whose windscreen had shattered because of the force of my landing. I propped my self up and looked at the chaos, a meteorite had fallen from the sky and the shock waves had been devasting as buildind looked akwardly in bent fashion while others were total rubble. Where is my brother I asked weakly but a slap from Dada made me sit up fully.

''Guy, them tell you say na film be this, na for jan bulo hear say this thing fall but see as e reach here and many people don disapear, no body die''.

As he said ''nobody died'', I looked at my body to discover it was only covered in dust, no blood sign as I had seen, I touched my lips this time and discovered no tear was on it. Then why had I passed out, why the journey to the National Assembly Complex, why did I meet the Legend, Bob Marley. All this questions rushed zig-zagedly through my mind until I received another slap from Dada.

''Oya get up make we dey go house, abi na here you wan stay forever, their Alan do go since'', he queried me.

''Guy, if that your lanky hand touch me again, I go break am like tooth pick'', my eyes clouded with tears. I had remembered the slap in the courtroom meted out by the Purple Cloth wearing woman. I raised my hands to dab the tears off my eyes but held it mid air as I was awestruck by what I saw, the tatoo of Bob Marley. How it had gotten there I could not phantom.

As I dabbed my eyes with the back of my hand after brushing off the thoughts of the mysterious tattoo, I felt a sting on my face which was so painful I had to jump down from the roof of the car and stare at my face using the side mirror. A black star, almost invisible covering my eyes stretched over the cheek where I had been slapped stared back at me.

Dada kicked me hard on my buttocks angrily the force making me to hit my face against the mirror which ripped off as I practically flew in the air but was stopped by a wooden NEPA pole which also uprooted from the ground and flew very far. I got up angrily and made to rush Dada only to see him staring at his leg with awe. I stopped my self and strolled casually to his side the anger in me boiling as I thought of one million and one things to do to his lanky body. What he did just sealed his fate and I'm looking back on whether I had not had a brawl with him since Iwe became friends.

''Attai, no vex, I no mean am o, I no know wetin push my leg hit you'', he cajoled me.

''You and who, what if I break my neck, what if ...'', I stopped in mid-sentence as I looked at the hole the pole wire had made in the ground. Dust was still coming out of it but the dust is not the normal one, it had traces of ashes in it.

''Guy, make we go see wetin dey comot from ground na'', Dada cut into my thoughts as he put his hand on my shoulder to pull me.

''Leave me jor, na you and who, abi you no get eyes dey see say na smoke with ashes dey comot from there'', I retorted as I removed his hand from my shoulder.

Huuuuunnnnn!!!! A piercing scream, more like a wail rented the air, accompanied by vibrations and the ground cracking and falling right into the hole that had just been created in the ground. The ground was literally caving in and the smoke becoming thicker with sounds of ''tumbulu'' filling the air. Before Dada turned to look at me after like a million years because we were both held spell bound by the unfolding disaster, I turned round and fled which was easy because I HAD NO SHOES ON, all the while.

I had footstep behind me but did not turn, I was running right to the house, the one place my mind told me I would find comfort. Dada wheezed passed me, his long legs carrying him farther away from me. I cursed under my breath, why am I short and fat, now I understand why tall guys keep short fat friends, because they always end up saving their lives.

Looking behind me to see why Dada had doubled up, my eyes were nearly blinded by the glorious sight of hot lava shooting sky high without pouring but I knew it wouldn't be long before the law of gravity acts on it. I faced my front but at the same time bumped into something else, a brick wall. It was supposed to be the fence of my house, but it felt thicker and Dada was struggling to climb the smooth surface which extended far above human reach.

Looking at ourselves, then looking down the road, like on cue, we turned and ran from the wall for something was climbing over it. My own house!!! My mind screamed loud as oxygen began to reduce, I was becoming tired and Dada was far ahead of me. I stumbled and fell down.

[quote author=U-dee]Redmoss! No vex o, na your fellow mosquitoes wey give me malaria. The throbing headache made it impossible 4 me to read and comment. I'm just catching up, can't believe I'm 5 pages behind. Wow you've really done a great job, I'm really curious about this new being inside our hero. Great twist![/quote]No worry... All men dey pray make you recover fully... But I'll get angry if Redmoss doesn't include me in this thread o... The Igbo smoking dude... Like seriously....

Oya na... Mosquito dey celebrate watch-night already... Me go just siddon dey wait for the update without any wahala.... Mak una dey watch me oooo.... I'm killing tthis shit... Sorry.... Na rap dey enter my head... Meanwhile... As Mayan world no end, I go continue my own thread after all this Christmas fever.... Stay tuned...

**peeps at thread and discover it is all dusty**

make una no vex...

breathing:

And that my brother is the FACT

movmentish: Oga na me wey don dey run after you for weeks,how is our story coming na

Ahhh.... Me busy o... But it will come back hot and steaming, just putting some finishing touch to it....

breathing: Hehehe, ho.rny fellow, ok let me fast forward my shakara.

Owk... You guys should take your horniness to somewhere that is calm and cousy.... You all know the drill, use CONDOM

Who dey look for me... Kai... I have missed a lot o but I don download am all in one sweep...... Eh, Mosquito.... You know say na me know you wella

Redmosquito: Wetin consign he-goat with aluminum roofing?! ?! Dont you know that people like us never find love?! Abegi continue ur bad boy dey go! Big boi big shit!

Ehm.... You don crack me up.... See, I'm leaving this office by 2:00pm, so abeg add updates o, because I sharpaly buy Etisalat to dey use for this holiday so that I no go miss this tori but I want more today....

And ehm.... Being a bad boy pays wella.... Make I go continue my tori for sexuality section jor....

Redmosquito: Mayans?! Wetin consign ur story with Mayans! Abeg go update jorh!

Na beg I dey beg o.... E go hard wella.... Maybe if I go for this break come back my brain go don relax wella.... By then I fit give everybody wetin dem want, moreover I still dey search for love.....

Redmosquito: Why u dey vex?
U don leave me dey hang for your story, Instead of raising minds, you are raising trousers with your sexuality stories .......that doesnt mean I dont like them oooo

I can't stop laughing.... You eh.... When I told you that my story **Beginning of the End** was my first story you thought I was joking abi.... I meant it o... I can't sit down and start cracking my brain to come up with something, but if it is writing on sex... Men.... I bammm Dieeeeee...

Happy New Year sha-------- Courtesy------- Mayans

Ehm.... Mosquito.... Na wetin I go tell you now... I dey vex ooooooooooooo

[quote author=Larry-Sun]Wow! This is fascinating, I'm actually laughing out loud...weldone, poster.
But no! I refuse to follow these steps! Gone are those days of the eccentric Poe or Poirot. Writers of today look good enough to eat. LOL!
Bless you.[/quote]Hey... Everything you are reading is konk IRONY.... Look at it that way but don't piss on yourself

semid4lyfe: This episode was a bit drab

Where you dey now... Redmosquito