₦airaland Forum

James. Dont mind clems ohhh. . . She be yeye fowl.

ok, be my guest

What Kind of Farter are You?

Pick the day you were born on (i.e. 5th, 6th etc.) to see what kind of farter you are,

• 1-AMBITIOUS FARTER
Always ready to fart.

• 2-LAZY FARTER
Just fizzles


• 3-AMIABLE FARTER
Likes to smell others farts.


• 4-SELFISH FARTER
Only enjoys smelling his own farts.


• 5-CARELESS FARTER
Farts in church, restaurants, and department stores without even an iota of shame.


• 6-SMART ALEC FARTER
Farts when girls are in the room.


• 7-CLEVER FARTER
Farts and coughs at same time.


• 8-SCIENTIFIC FARTER
Keeps his or her farts in jars with the dates on them.


• 9-STINGY FARTER
Belches instead of farting to save his butthole.


• 10-FOOLISH FARTER
Farts and laughs, while others cry.


• 11-SHY FARTER
Can only fart on a deserted Island.


• 12-CONCEITED FARTER
Thinks he can fart the loudest.


• 13-UNLUCKY FARTER
Tries to fart and soils his underwear.


• 14- TIMID FARTER
Is emotionally shaken by the sound of farts.


• 15-BEWILDERED FARTER
Unable to distinguish between their farts and others.


• 16-SLOVENLY FARTER
Farts refuse to leave underwear, it's nice and damp in there and they can stick around.


• 17-NERVOUS FARTER
Farts very tight squeaky half farts, keeps the rest for the privacy of his or her own home.


• 18-MISERABLE FARTER
Can't fart unless he or she is in the privacy of their own home.


• 19-CONFUSED FARTER
Has such bad breath he or she can't tell where the smell is coming from.


• 20-GROUCHY FARTER
Swears at his or her farts.


• 21-SNEAKY FARTER
Farts, cups the noxious cloud tightly between his or her cheeks, then waits for someone else to get up or make a move to lift cheek.


• 22-DISAPPOINTED FARTER
Their farts don't stink.


• 23-FRESH GUY FARTER
Turns around in front of you and farts.


• 24-BIG BULLY FARTER
Farts louder, longer, and smellier than everyone elses.


• 25-VAIN FARTER
Deeply moved by the smell of farts.


• 26-CLAIRVOYANT FARTER
Can tell what others have eaten from their farts.


• 27-WISE FARTER
Farts and say's "Who dropped their guts?"


• 28-DAMNED MEAN FARTER
Farts in bed and pulls the covers over wife's head (aka the Dutch oven)


• 29-MUSICAL FARTER
Tenor or bass
Clear as a bell
Smells like shit
Sounds like a tuba


• 30-HONEST FARTER
Farts and blames in on others or the dog.


• 31-LIVELY FARTER
Jumps up in air, toots three times, kicks simultaneously.

Since you guys just wont stop mentioning about fart, therefore I will dedicate this Farting Thread to you guys and hope you like it. So anything concerning to fart, just post it here. Thank you.

JazzyJ:
no no, no force. hehe, but i m overprotective when it cms to other girls, u knw malaysian girls, they onli wan nigerian guys, they dun care if d guy is married, n these guys, dun need to talk here. i m superjealous. i admit it, but love, that is what love makes us do n feel

Dear. . . dont be over too protective ohhh. . One thing I learn from guys is that they dont like their partner to be as such. So dont over show it ok? Wish you the best of luck.Sorry ohhh, I dont have Hi5 only Facebook

Oyato taught me that one. Where is he by the way?

JazzyJ:
errr not yet laa, wish to as soon as possible before he finds another girlfriend, hehe, but he is like my fiancee, he meet all my family members n man do all of them lurve him, my mum is not the type who would accept a nigerian but when he met him Oh gawd, she liked him so much n treats him betta den she treats me, i alwiz ask him which juju he use fr me n my family hehe

LOL Thank God he has the fine personality ohhh. . . otherwise, it will be hard for you. I understand how you feel. Malaysian are still close minded when it comes to other cultural backgrounds. What they know? Whites Whites and only Whites. . . . . Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. . . I'm tired ohhh. . .

If he is meant for you, than so shall it be. No rush and no force ohh. . .

he learn french from my motha

LOL Thats a good one

Ohhh. . . You're married? Congratulations ohhh. . . Anywayz, welcome to Nairaland.

I am from labuan Island. Have you been there?

And you?

Your bobo be Naija abi?

Jazzy Babe, you be malaysian?

oh oh. . . Dont make him stump you and pound you ohhh. . .

timmfikk:
Well dear Gabry i need to be off here for about 2 hrs now i do not know what time it is over there right now. but its almost going to be 3 a.m in some mins time so i want to catch some sleep just 2 hrs and return online. so hopefully we can continue our talk as i need to excuse a brother who want to use the pc for an important typing work. Have a lovely time babie, and try lati ma wapa ooo meaning try to always be okay ooo

Ok oremitodun, odabo. you go to bed and dream of me ok? Heheh!

CHEI! See those people's mouth. Because of them, My fellow brothers here are suffering. Well, not so much of my housemates because they still got me to help them out but for other people is a nusance. Like the other day, one of my housemate wants to travel to Singapore and he went to the Nigerian embassy and the embassy told him that they could not help him unless he pays extra money under the table than they will do it for him.

He came home complianing to me and I went furious. I went there and I threaten to complain them to the Hotline if they dont do their job properly and then when they realize that I am Malaysian and they dont have the rights to fight back, then they got the documentation sorted out for him. . . .

Imagine how all these people behave. . . They are also Nigerians yet they dont want to assist their own people. Its a shame and they should be fired ohh. Make me vex. . .

I believe that everyone deserves a chance in life so you will get yours in time to come. I do believe so. I really do. Its just that we have to plan well, live well and also appreciate what we have at the current moment.

Yes ohhh. . . . . I heard both of our gov's sucks. . .  

But timm, you are to be blessed by God's grace because you're lucky thaqt you are there in your hometown. At least you could still find work. Like here in Malaysia, your fellow brotha's from Nigeria came here to Malaysia to study thinking that they could study and work for pocket money all at the same time and than when they came here, they found that the gov do not allow them to work at all (They told them. . . no foreignors are al;lowed to work in the country) so most of them are starving and they had no choice but to cheat the locals just to feed theirseves and to survive. They have no choice ohhh. . . And when they wanted to go back to Naija, the naija embassy is not helping them to do so if they don't pay extra money to them. . . See?

YIKES!!!!!!!!! Oh Lord. . . Than I have to say this is a miracle. . . . . .

masters of Arts in Communication Management. How about you bobo?

Oh ok. I thought how come you became a child prodigy at such a young age.

I'm also studying but for myMasters. But only will start next year.

What course are you taking?

and me as well

You're studying for your PHD right now?

timmfikk:
kilowi babie yii, meaning what do you say baby

Ah I see. . . Ok, I am going to remember that sentence.

Heheheh! I just loveeeeeeeeeeeeee to learn about other people's cultures and language and the food and everything about them. Its like heaven to me. Thats why if I get the full opportunity, I would do so.  

So what have you been up to? Studying still?

ok, I'll meet you there

Yes ohh bobo. So what does your message means?

Huh? No ohhh. . . I dont understand and I dont have any certs in any Naija language at all. Care to explain? Just trying small small ohhh. Lately I am mixed up between Chinese Hakkha, Chinese Mandarin, French and Naija Language (which includes Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo and Pidgin English itself). Too many in my head but I cannot help it, I just love it.

So how are you brotha? Been missing me?

Thats why you forggoten about me all the time. . .  And you hop around like a bunny rabbit. ohhh 

Timm, I'm not funny as well but I find the people in here funny so isn;t that more than enough excuse to join in here?

Oh oh

Scopium:
[size=13pt]I hear that too much beer turns men to women. Is this the first victim? I guess the metamorphosis is not complete yet.[/size]

I aint a male turning to female. I am a male and a female all at the same time 

mykali:
scoppy., are u thinking what i am thought? Gabbro was a . . . .

it was all those mykali beer she drank during my b.day. cheiiii, see wahala.

Hey Mykolo, I am thinking about you on one thing. And you also drank your own beer ohhh. . . No wonda more wahala from you is up on here firing like Taliban's bomb (oops! hope Loaf of Bread don't see this      )

Wetin