₦airaland Forum

Marvieduke:
Not so many people would say they have not come across the name, Pastor Jerry Eze, at least on one of the social media platforms. Regardless of whatever faith you profess, his is a name that has become almost impossible to miss on the Nigerian internet in recent years.

For those who may not know him, Jerry Eze is a Nigerian Pentecostal pastor and the founder of Streams of Joy International, a ministry that has grown enormously through its online prayer programme, NSPPD (New Season Prophetic Prayers and Declarations). His sermons, prayers and testimonies have given him a huge following both in Nigeria and among Nigerians in the diaspora.

I just stumbled on a story said to be his testimony about his marriage, and I found myself reading it a little differently from the way such stories are usually consumed online.

He said that when he got married, marriage was “hell”. In fact, he said if there was anything “hellier than hell”, that was what his marriage felt like.

According to him, the problem was largely his wife's anger.

He recalled an incident during the first week of their marriage. They were in the kitchen and he asked her a simple question. She became angry, moved the cups and plates she was arranging with one hand and sent them crashing to the floor.

He said he was shocked.

Coming from a background where, according to him, anger was not something they were accustomed to, he did not know how to process what he had just witnessed. He went into the room, packed his things and left because he genuinely feared that he might be beaten.

And this, he said, was not an isolated incident.

He found himself becoming careful about what he said and how he said it because he never knew how his wife would react. He felt intimidated. He felt that she sometimes acted as though she was the man of the house.

Eventually, he reached the point where he told God he was done.

His reasoning was simple: he had tried. They were both successful. There was no reason, in his mind, why they could not simply go their separate ways and everyone would be fine.

But apparently, that was not the end of the story.

He recalled another incident that happened while they were in London.

His wife had gone into a shop while he remained outside. At some point, he went into another shop to pick something up. When she returned and discovered that he had gone elsewhere, she became upset.

He tried to explain that she should have told him she was going to another shop so they could have gone together because he was not used to the cold.

According to him, she looked at him and asked, “What did you say? What did you say?”

And he responded with a question he said he often asked because he felt intimidated by her: “Do you want me to be afraid of you?”

She left him there.

He did not even realise she had gone home until much later.

He eventually called her friend and asked where his wife was because he was stranded and did not know where to go. The friend contacted his wife, and the response was reportedly, “Let him find his way back.”

He eventually found his way back, packed his things again, changed his ticket and left that same night.

By the time his wife returned to Nigeria so they could live together, he said things became even worse.

Then came the moment that changed the way he looked at the entire marriage.

One day, while praying, he told God that this was the end. Let his wife go her way and let him go his.

And then, according to his testimony, he received an answer that completely changed his perspective:

“This marriage is not a destination. It is an assignment.”

He said that statement changed everything.

Instead of approaching marriage primarily from the standpoint of what he expected to receive from his wife, he began to see himself as someone who also had a responsibility within the marriage.

He had to learn to love.
He had to learn to control his reactions.
He had to learn not to respond to every expression of anger with anger.
He had to stop expecting his wife to behave exactly the way he wanted.

He said the marriage did not suddenly become perfect. It was not a magical transformation.

But eventually, he says, the woman he once described in those difficult terms became one of the sweetest people one could meet.

Now, this is where Jerry Eze's story stopped being just a story about Jerry Eze and his wife for me. It raises a much bigger question about what we actually expect from marriage, and what marriage, in turn, expects from us.

Because there is something deeply uncomfortable about marriage that many people discover only after they get into it.

We often enter marriage with an invisible list of expectations.

We want to be loved in a certain way. We want to be spoken to in a certain way. We want our spouse to understand us, respect us, appreciate us, apologise when they are wrong and change the things that irritate us.

And when the marriage becomes difficult, our first instinct is often to ask:

“When will my spouse change?”

But perhaps one of the hardest questions marriage can force us to ask is:

“What does this relationship reveal about me?”

That, I think, is the strongest part of Jerry Eze's testimony.

Not necessarily the claim that God told him his marriage was an assignment, because people may interpret that according to their own faith.

The deeper point is that he eventually realised that he too had an assignment within the marriage.

His assignment was not to change his wife.

It was to work on himself.

And that is a lesson worth considering, whether you are religious or not.

But there is an important qualification.

Marriage being an assignment does not mean that someone must endure everything their spouse does.

Patience is not permission for abuse. Forgiveness does not mean pretending nothing happened. And taking responsibility for your own shortcomings does not mean taking responsibility for another person's destructive behaviour.

Two people have an assignment in a marriage.

You have yours.

Your spouse has theirs.

You can work on yourself. You can love more. You can communicate better. You can learn patience. You can apologise. You can change.

But you cannot do your spouse's assignment for them.

Perhaps that is where the real wisdom lies.

Marriage is not simply about finding someone who will make you happy. It is also about becoming someone capable of making another person feel loved, respected and safe.

And sometimes, the person you desperately want to change is not the only person who needs changing.

Sometimes, you are also part of the assignment.

That, to me, is the part of Jerry Eze's story worth thinking about.

https://www.facebook.com/100063752402145/posts/1643297317805333

They still cannot stay under one roof for long. Husband is in Abuja, wife is in Abia.

Married single relationship

Where is the Step father's picture?

L0wk3y:
Don’t know about itel but oraimo is good…as long as you don’t buy any powerbank less than 25k from them. Just like cheap phones, cheap powerbanks are made with cheap components.

Na wa ooo. This kind thing, na wa

Looking to buy a powerbank.
It cannot be less than 20000mAH
I have tried Oraimo and Itel and both are scary to use as they are good at swelling after a few months/year use.

Kindly recommend. PHCN will not win me this year

DAramis:
Check out Czech Republic scholarship. I saw it on the front page. Brazil own had already closed.. but check out the sigaa website where schools publish courses which are eligible for scholarship.
Cheaving scholarship (UK)...and explore China, South Korea scholarship etc.

There are lots of schools offering scholarships in China and Vietnam also.

Keep pushing boss...Don't give up.

https://msmt.gov.cz/eu-and-international-affairs/government-scholarships-developing-countries
For Czech Republic scholarship

The courses there do not appeal to me. I have checked. Thank you.

Judolisco:
is it the most important issue? What about jail term for any parents that refuses to send their children to sch? Do u know how many out of sch children we have per state even though education is free at primary level?

The news was on this nairaland.com last year. That governor made a law that all school aged children must be in school, I think from primary to secondary for free. Which one again is your problem?

Judolisco:
Misplaced priority.... There are several issues more important than dis na.... Though Sha all dis new private schs jst dey extort parents....

What is of more priority for this ministry at this point?

onlinediva:
You don't need to live or drive a car in Lagos before you can resolve the issue. Kindly WhatsApp Autos and Cartalk (Limited) on 08050844033 for further assistance.

I dont think I have an issue. You are the one who thinks I do and I am respectfully asking what the issue is.

My documents are uptodate. It has been since I got this car with the Lagos number. I do not live or drive in Lagos

BlaqT:
Hello house, please I want to start applying for master of research for September with family of 3,how much will this cost us,or will it be better if I decide to go alone,what will it cost me, which site should I visit,where do I start from please?

We seem to be on the same look out. If you get this info, kindly share with me please

Osprey101:
30 -40 million including 5k deposit

For a single person nko?

onlinediva:
Contact a good licensing office or officer in Lagos and present your evidence of renewals. It is possible to be updated free of charge on their platform till May 2026.

I don't live or drive the car in Lagos. I am wondering why I need to do this. Please help

Still here in Nigeria

ChiefNoble001:
I would like to know did you later succeed?
Did move on with the admission 🤷🏻‍♂️🤔

onlinediva:
Okay

What is the expiry date on the one with you?

May 2026

onlinediva:
Kindly check the validity of your number plates on FRSC website.

It was a network glitch. It opened later but said it expired in May 2024 which tallies with when I renewed it again in my current location

Yeye eye service.

Madam US based, concentrate on your region. Abuja doesn't need this as much as your region does

Merry100:
My car was recently involved in a serious accident. It veered off the road and was completely destroyed. By some miracle, no lives were lost; only minor injuries were sustained. But what happened afterward revealed a deeper rot in our system than the accident itself.

Less than an hour after the crash, policemen arrived; not to check on the victims, not to secure the scene, and certainly not to help. Their only concern was towing the car to their station, even though:

• The car was off the road and not obstructing traffic.

• A towing vehicle had already been called and was on its way.

• Victims were still being treated at the scene.

They didn’t care. They were focused on one thing: extorting money.

Despite being told the accident had just occurred and that help was already on the way, they insisted on towing the car.

By the time my mum arrived, they had already taken money and were still demanding more. They only backed off after she put a call through to her brother; a senior officer. Until then, they had shown no compassion, no patience, and no understanding of the situation.

And then there was the hospital.

One woman was visibly bleeding, yet the staff barely treated her. They didn’t examine her properly, left her wound exposed, and hardly even cleaned it. And despite this lack of basic care, they still demanded payment.

Is this what it means to be a citizen in this country?

Our police force meant to protect lives and property; now specializes in harassment and exploitation.
Hospitals meant to save lives; treat people like numbers, or worse, like burdens.
And the average Nigerian is left to fend for themselves at their most vulnerable.

I remember being in a minor accident in the UK; not a scratch on anyone and the police kept asking, “Are you okay? Do you need medical attention?” That is what duty and humanity should look like.

Here, you're lucky to survive the accident. But surviving the system; that’s the real miracle.

If the hospital didn't do anything, what payment were they demanding?

What do you mean by they were not examined properly? What do you tag as properly?

Upon they have shitty network, they still went ahead to employ very incompetent and saucy customer service agents.

If they lose their jobs now because of their market share loss, body go tell them.

Very annoying organisation

onlinediva:
If you have a Lagos plate number that you have been renewing outside Lagos, visit http://verify.autoreg.ng/ and key in your plate number therein, to confirm if the expiry date tallies with the one written on the current license you have.

Casually ran my plate number on the site and it says it doesn't exist. I have renewed every year outside Lagos

Nobody from Abia, Anambra and Delta states are fit to be on any of these boards. Smh

So, I started trying to leave the country late last year.
As I no get shishi, I said let me use school route and it has to be fully funded scholarship because again, I no get shishi and my Papa done die. Na me be the star of my family. Amen.

I applied to Sweden. I got admission. I applied to the Swedish Institute, they are the ones that handle scholarships. These guys look me hard and straight and didnt give me scholarship.

I had to let go after crying my eyes out.

I have applied to Australia Awards and the results will be out later in the year. I hope I get the admission and scholarship.

I just need to leave this contraption before light of the world turn to darkness.

If you have any links to fully funded scholarships in English speaking countries and programmes, please share links or tag me.

Gracias

Fortuneatee:
Hi @gboliwe please do you still have this person’s details. I captured since last month and I’m yet to receive my passport

What state?

Motirayo2018:
It is almost 6 years I open this thread to ask for assistance from Nairalanders to save my daughter's sight.

Many people support me financially and with prayers.

Fauziyat is fine and doing well.
She is in basic 5 now.
She see with her right eye
Thanks to G.mama @ ifyalways
@zainie thanks so much
@Gboliwe thanks so much
@pocohantas thank you ma
@ oluplus thank you sir

Thank you everyone for your assistance and support.
For those I did not mention ,I really appreciate you all . jazakumullahu khairan 🙏.

Me and my family are grateful

Wow! Congratulations!!

Harlomahh:
Someone should please ask the guy how much is ordinary shark.

I saw your attempt to reach me, hope all is well

Muslimity:
Thanks so much for this valuable advice.

Hello All,

Please, I am new here but need guidance from those who have experienced the issue of date of birth printed on transcript which is different from passport. I have not registered with WES yet but I need help of how I can align the DOB with my all my documents. Has anybody have his university (mine is UNN) changed this before? What is the way to go about it. Please help guide me. Thanks

Please, how did you solve this? I am in the same calamity

IyaTola:
I understand your frustration!

Firstly, a 200% rent increase is quite steep. Here are some steps you can take:

Negotiation
1. Review your lease agreement: Check if there's a clause that stipulates how rent increases should be handled.
2. Talk to your landlord: Schedule a meeting to discuss the rent increase. Be calm and respectful.
3. Propose a compromise: Suggest a more reasonable rent increase, citing market rates or your financial constraints.

Seeking Assistance
1. Tenant associations or unions: Reach out to local tenant organizations for guidance and support.
2. Housing counseling agencies: Non-profit organizations that provide free or low-cost housing counseling.
3. Local government agencies: Contact your local housing authority or consumer protection agency.

Legal Action
1. Consult a lawyer: If negotiations fail, consult with a lawyer specializing in tenant-landlord law.
2. File a complaint: If your landlord has violated the lease agreement or local laws, file a complaint with the relevant authorities.
3. Court action: As a last resort, take your landlord to court. Be prepared to provide evidence and witnesses.

Other Options
1. Look for a new place: If the rent increase is unsustainable, start searching for a new apartment.
2. Consider a rent subsidy: If you're eligible, explore government programs or non-profit organizations that offer rent subsidies.

Remember to document all communication with your landlord, including dates, times, and details of conversations.

Take a deep breath, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

ChatGPT!

Members of the Disability community are the worst hit in this GBV.
There should be periodic awareness and workshops for this community.
Well done Anyaele

I seem to be the only young person who has no idea what these tax reforms are. I have been out of civilisation for about 6 days now. Can someone point me to the right direction please

Imperare:
Ok would love it if you keep up posted here. German visa appointment waiting time is now 2 years and 2 months. I need to leave this country asap

OK.

I will start a post and share the link here when I start

TableLeg:
Wetin concern you? you dey craze? Abi o ya weyrey ni?

Everybody dey para for this country ooo 😂 😂 😂

Easy ọ.

Imperare:
Congrats. Which country are you planning on migrating to? Germany 🇩🇪 ?

No, Netherland

sunnymighty:
Can you help me track my application using the confirmation slip!(the only proof I have).

Not sure which one the confirmation slip is. Was it sent to your email?

Picked!

I said I would give the guy N1000 for his thoughtfulness.

But, when I got there, he already saw me from his window and before I even called, he came out and asked me to wait let him get it for me.

Kia Kia, he went in, brought it out. Gave it to me and didn't ask for anything, accepted my "thank you so much" and walked back in.

So, I think the N5000 I gave covered this 😁