₦airaland Forum

... and my friend's wife is having an affair.
I know.

She knows that I know.

She does not care that I know.

He does not know that I know.

He calls her the best thing that has ever happened to him.

He says that as a dutiful husband and because of his love for her, he supports her in every thing she does.

He boasts that he is a modern man and thinks nothing shameful in being a house husband.

She looks at me and smiles as she plays with their two kids.

I smile back.

Then I mind my own business.

Life continues.

---Jude Idada

How long shall we continue like this?

While it is not a bad line of thought in and of itself, the church just like a court was established for certain core purposes; and the core purpose for which God established churches in to reconcile men to himself. And love of God inspired by the Holy Spirit in the heart of men is the vehicle with which this will be achieved.

Why do people not ask courts or dancehalls/clubs to engage in research just just the way OP is asking the church to?

... I always wear my silver crucifix.

It hangs down from the silver chain around my neck.

At the pharmacy yesterday where I went to buy some medications for my nagging flu, a woman kept looking at me.

She was lithe and had a white shawl around her head. Her features were middle eastern.

Her eyes with long thick lashes were demure as they darted between my face and the crucifix on my chest.

Discomfort embraced me as her gaze consumed me.

Time felt like it had slowed down until the pharmacist called my name and I walked over to the counter to collect my medications. It was brief. I turned around and walked towards the door.

Her eyes followed me.

She was whispering.

It was intelligible, yet it pulled at me, as though I needed to hear what she was saying.

I stopped and turned to her.

She looked up at me and spoke louder. It was in a foreign language. I couldn't understand it.

"I am sorry. I don't understand."

She continued speaking and pointing to my chest.

The pharmacist at the counter looked over at us. He was listening. His brow furrowed. Then he spoke. I turned to him.

"She says that you remind her of her husband. He was tall like you. She says that she cannot imagine how it must feel like to wear the crucifix so openly and not be afraid for your life."

"Why should I be afraid?"

He spoke to her in the language. She responded. He turned back to me.

"Her husband was beheaded for refusing to take off his crucifix."

"What?"

"She is a refugee from Syria. A Christian. A family sponsored her and her three children to Canada."

I turned to her.

Her eyes were misty and her hands were clasped together as though in prayer. She bowed slightly and raised her face back up at me.

In her eyes was an indescribable look. A mixture of emotions that tugged at my heart.

And standing there in front of her, I realised with such clarity, how much I take my faith and my freedom for granted.

She spoke again. Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it was in halting English.

"You believe?"

I didn't understand.

She pointed at my crucifix and spoke earnestly in her language.

The pharmacist was even more somber as he translated, his hands laid firmly on the counter as though for support.

"She wants to know if you believe enough in the salvation of Jesus Christ to die for your faith?"

I stood there.

And minutes passed.

Silently.

I knew the truth.

But I could not say it.

---Jude Idada

What do you need it for?

rheether:
All I need is a pix

... at the Elegushi beach in Lagos, when the tide rises from 5pm onwards the waves run amok...


They rise soo high and crash onto the shore soo hard that the sound that emanates is akin to a million lions growling... then the surf races over the fine sand until it licks the legs of the chairs that sit under the gazebos several metres away.


One of the waiters at the beach bars told me that since the reclaiming of the ocean for land and the construction of Eko Atlantic City the Atlantic ocean has protested in form of herculean waves which in themselves have snatched people off the shore itself.


He said that in the last couple of months over thirty people have met their death while walking along the beach.

A case for example is that of two girls who were standing metres away taking selfies in front of the kids spin wheel. The waves rushed up to them and snatched them away. They were dead when the horse riders and bar men who could swim got them out of the raging ocean.
Their parents closed the beach and insisted that there be life guards, look out posts, tide and wave markers before it opens again.
The beach has reopened and all that was requested have been put in place.

Yet the ocean rages on and all along the coastline, lives are lost and properties are destroyed because we still haven't learnt that for every unnatural action there is a costly reaction.

If we must develop we must do so diligently and mindfully, fully taking into account the effect it will have on the ecosystem and the environment and putting measures to ameliorate those dastardly effects.

We must not throw caution to the wind and take leave of both common sense and expert advise in our bid to satisfy the unsatiable greed of the rich and mighty.

Nature cannot be mocked.

It will visit its anger on us all, irrespective of our status or our guilt.

PaperLace:
Don't be too sure dear, humans differ_women differ.
I have an acquaintance who recently went into a polygamous home. Her reason being that she loves the freedom it gives. The man can't monitor the whole wives at once, so she can run her own show. There are women with very poor sex drive that will tell the man to go outside and get it, let them rest.

I have always pitied men who think their wives looking the other way while they cheat brazenly_ is forgiveness...

Only a woman that cares about you, will be concerned about your philandering. Be very afraid of the woman that doesn't care...

This one might be false, but it happens.

I quite agree with you.

Nigeria, Our Nigeria...

... a former schoolmate of mine at University of Ibadan has the picture of her husband and a young, ravishing beauty as the screensaver of her phone.

They are cuddling.

My friend is a medical doctor. Her husband is a contractor perpetually waiting to be paid for some "government contracts."

I stared at the phone as it lay on the table of the restaurant where we were having lunch.

Puzzled and curious I asked her who she was. She smiled warmly as though suffused with pleasant memories as she rotated the wedding band and engagement ring on her finger.

"It is the smallie I got for my man."
"Smallie like a girlfriend?"

"Yes o. You know my man is a guy around town. Networking at all those 'for the big boys' night spots he visits. Me I don't have the stress for all that nightlife. And since he has refused to grow old and stay indoors and me I am tired of staying up late worrying, I decided to get someone to hold the fort outside while I handle the home front."

"What?"

"I have one life to live o, and I won't die of hypertension because I am worrying about Lagos girls snatching my husband from me. Let the smallie fight with the girls outside over him, while I sleep peacefully at home."

"What if he leaves you for her?"

"Na. He is smart. He knows she won't give him the freedom I give him and financially he knows I hold my own, even more than he does. So don't worry I have that covered. I take care of them very well."

"Men are known to do stupid things."

"I know, but look at it as polygamy. I am the first wife, she is the second. She knows that for her to keep her place, she must ensure a third wife doesn't join us."

"And if she does not?"

"I fire her."

"What if she has a child for him?"

"She can't."

"Why?"

"That's the first criteria she had to meet."

"Criteria?"

"She is medically unable to have children."

"Why?"

"Bad case of fibroids. A botched surgery. They damaged her womb."

"Oh, my."

"Yeah. I met her at the hospital when she was suicidal. I showed her there is still life after being barren. You see I am her saviour. I give her some form of a future."

"Future?... Does she work?"

"She is not enthused about brain work. A third class in English. I opened a boutique for her. Has access to my man and my money. We have a five-year agreement. Once she is 30, I cut her loose. She can do whatever she wants after that. For now, life is good for her."

"What if she gets emotionally entangled with him and can't leave?"

"Well, she can hang around and keep being the guard dog."

"Thought you said she is a second wife."

"That was just an analogy. We are Christians. Polygamy is not allowed."
Silence. I searched her face. She searched mine. Me trying to figure her out. She trying to figure me out. We both knew that a new vista had opened up in our friendship. We had crossed the Rubicon.

"Woow. I would never have thought that you had it in you to do this."

"Still waters run deep Jude, and I have learned that one must do what one can to have peace of mind."

I stared at her with a cornucopia of conflicting thoughts.

"Jude, the secret of having a wonderful and peaceful life is to first accept that life is not fair and it owes you nothing. Once you can do that, then you will be ready to do whatever it takes to make you happy."

"Are you happy?"

She took a sip from her drink and smiled at me before she leaned back with ease and asked...

"What do you think?"

-- Jude Idada

True talk.

Ps: At Gibrima Telecoms (Ikeja), we sell some of the cheapest phones in Ikeja, all of which come with at least one year warranty. And yes, we are a registered business entity.

Glad he has been released. I don't think this country presently deserves the blood of anyone. My candid thought though.

Ps: At Gibrima Telecoms, we sell some of the cheapest phones in Ikeja, all of which come with at least one year warranty. And yes, we are a registered business entity.

"So, yesterday, I am at a shopping mall in Dartford near London to seek replacement parts for my Dyson Hoover.

After my primary mission, I decide to take a walk around. You know these shopping malls are so attractive, just walking around and looking at hundreds of products displayed through glass gives you joy.

Then, I remember I needed to get some paracetamol, and head to Boots, a pharmacy within the same mall that stocks virtually all the medicines you can think of.

That decision to go to Boots, would eventually put me into thoughts that would pervade my mental space for the next twenty four hours.

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While shopping, I saw this man, probably about my age.

He looked very very familiar. I couldn't place it at that moment, so my brain did a frantic search within its limbic system, searching memory files that related this face to significant events in my life,and returned a possible match.

My brain told me the match wasn't too good.

In the year 2002, or maybe 2003, I was a Medical student in the University of Nigeria Enugu Campus (UNEC). It was a sister campus to the main University (UNN). UNEC was the campus where the Faculties of Medicine, Law, Health Science, Business and Estate Management were located.

This period was a time when Cult activities in Universities nationwide was somewhat at its peak.

UNEC at the time, shared the same fence with Enugu State University of Science and Technology (ESUT), whose cult related violence was way above the national average, with very violent public executions happening almost every semester.

Some of that violence, ended up on the UNEC side of the fence, as the targets when being chased, cross the gate of the fence into UNEC, where their attackers hunt them down and finish them off.

As a result, while UNEC students didnt engage much in violent cult activities (at least on University grounds), they had a good dose of it.

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There was this particular episode I witnessed. I had gone to an eating joint just in front of the Faculty of Business Administration, which was not far from the UNEC/ESUT gate.

About three seats away from me, was this gentleman who had just finished his meal. I had no reason to suspect anything was amiss.

He made to get up to leave, and suddenly about seven hefty boys surrounded him, dragged him outside and dealt him several matchet wounds. Gunshots were fired in the air, and everybody started running helter-skelter.

Now, in the eating joint we visited, we could not afford the luxury of running as that would place us directly in the pathway of the violence, which was happening just outside the door. The owner of the restaurant simply locked us inside.This placed us at a vantage point to witness first hand the movie that was unfolding.

After being beaten, stabbed and shot on the leg, the guys left, and everyone thought the worst was over.

Apparently we were wrong as one of the attackers returned after the first round of beating, and headed towards their victim. I could hear his fellow cultist shout......."Emeka, bone!! Leave the guy, im go die before police come, no waste bullet abeg"....

The Emeka of a guy obviously was not listening. He approached their target on the ground, brought out his gun, aimed for the chest and...,BOOM!! After that he placed the gun POINT BLANK on the head and BOOM!! Those of us hiding in the Restaurant screamed in horror. The victim who had been making struggling movementson the ground stopped moving, as blood started oozing out of his head and chest.

Well, the Police came one hour later to retrieve the body.

A guy who ordered a meal of Abacha and fried fish and ate it with relish, did not know he was having his last meal on Earth.

Anyway.....,back to London

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After my brain went through this search, the name Emeka just continued resonanting in my head.

The face was almost unmistakable. But that was over ten years ago. Perhaps you're just being too presumptious, a silent voice told me. Perhaps this is just a look alike, another inner voice said.

I decided to forget about everything. I went to the counter to pay for the drugs I bought. There was a lady in front of me. She looked around as if she was looking for someone, perhaps someone who had accompanied her to the place. After looking around in disappointment, she brought out her phone dialled a number, and spoke...."Emeka, biko bia na Counter"...(Emeka, please come to the counter).

I looked round, and it became very obvious whom she was calling.

Our man in question came to the counter, holding a little girl in hand, probably his daughter, and going to meet the woman who called him, a woman I assumed to be his partner, and possibly mother to the girl.

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I was kinda disappointed in life that moment.

Here was a man, who had ensured his fellow human did not live, not only alive a decade later, but having a family, something which his victim would never have.

I was deeply immersed in thought I forgot about my immediate environment, as the event that day kept replaying in my head, and I kept trying to reconcile it with the person I was seeing.

His little daughter kept looking at me and smiling, showing me her furry present.

I smiled back, thanking God she is too small to tell a real smile from a fake one.

Sometimes, you just wish karma was real, precise and consistent."

By: Dr. Obinna Aligwekwe.