.

Oluneutral:
How come nobody is seeing.........
1. Their baby is just 3 months old and the baby is their first child.

2. She delivered through CS.

3. She started refusing sex when she was seven months pregnant.



Na wa o! Women, always at the receiving end.

Mr Man, try and empathize with your wife.

She has fears, maturely find out the cause of her fears and not by ignoring her.

I pray for wisdom for you.

What do I do please?

doitforyou:


You already know what to do.

So how do I change my mindset?

GuestLog:
It's already affecting your relationship because you see it that way. The problem is your mindset, not the lady.

You don’t understand
I love her very much

I just don’t know if we are compatible socially. That is the only fault with her. But I didn’t know if this fault will be so huge to the extent that it will affect our marriage . She has social anxiety to the extreme. Very extreme.

GuestLog:
Man! Sounds to me like you're tired of her already. Las Las you will torment this girl for who she is because you couldn't change her. Only God can change someone. Free her now that you have doubts else it'll be sad for both of you.

How do you marry someone who you have no 100% like for? What do you really want Mr. Man?


I pity both of you really.

She’s fine when around me. But she’s very very awkward around others. It’s very worrying.

Xavi2019:
As you can see she is obviously making some efforts into becoming a more social person, if you truly love her it's your duty to help her.
Just understand and help her.
Btw, is she always quiet too when you two are alone? or she's just quiet when other people are present?



I am a quiet person too and find it hard to mix/socialize especially when i find myself in the midst of strange faces, or in official gatherings, but when i am at home, in the company of loved ones I am an enigma

We have been together for a year plus. For how long will this continue? When you marry, in my culture you marry the family and it’s very important that you can relate with each other’s family well. I’m just concerned honestly.

HRHQueenPhil:
Let ur family members leave her alone
She will open up once she is used to them
Congratulations on ur upcoming nuptial

So i complained about my fiancé some months ago in a different thread. She is super reserved and quiet but I really think it’s going to be a problem despite how much I really really love her.

So today as per new year we had family gathering at my friends house, I asked her to come and surprisingly she agreed. One thing I will commend her about is that she has been trying to make an effort to interact more with my family friends despite her social anxiety. So she came, but the whole time she just sat there without even trying to communicate or say anything. I kept on trying to budge her so that she will say a word or two, she tried but she’s just very socially awkward. My family and friends also tried to join her in conversations but she just looked like she didn’t want to be there. We have two very different upbringing, so I think that’s part of why she finds it hard to relate. I know my family will gossip about her and I don’t want her to go through any pain. She’s not a proud girl, she’s just very very quiet around people she doesn’t know. Despite my love for her, should I let her go because of this issue? I’m deeply confused. Please advice me as I want to marry this girl this year.

No I’m thinking she might be too shy to discipline our kids in public maybe. Or she might not be able to stand up for the kids in the future I’m scared of her soft nature, I think people will walk all over her in the future.

Simplep:
so a reserved woman can not make a good mom?

I am reserved and will make the best mom to my kids,you've got a good lady,enjoy.

I’m being patient but until you are in my shoes you won’t understand. You don’t know the feeling of going to a place where everybody is with their gf and wives and I have to go alone because she wants to stay at home. People are constantly asking you where your gf is, and you have to make excuses all the time. It’s not fair, it’s weighing me down.

Pavore9:
Social anxiety does not evaporate overnight, it is a journey towards overcoming it and if you don't see yourself being patient in that direction, let the woman be and go look for someone else.

All I’m trying to say is too much of everything is bad. I want her to loosen up a little, because her nature is worrying

Dande55:
Your fiancèe is exactly my type maybe, a little worse.

I don't even know how I'm gonna meet my husby family if I get married.

I dont like crowd, and i dont like meeting people.

You should try as much as possible to draw her closer to you and don't let what others say about her affect your marriage.

She's the kinda woman most men want to have as a wife.

I met her randomly on the road it wasn’t in a social setting. But how do I deal with her not wanting to meet family and friends? It’s disrespectful to me. As a wife you have to be open to meet my family atleast, when they are always asking about her, I can’t keep on making excuses for her na. People think there’s something wrong with my gf even though I’ve told them she is the shy type.

ValCon888:

This is the time you have to show more patience and affection. Be a calming influence to her. Your attitude may heap more pressure on her and make her panic even more. If she has these social anxieties, how then did you meet her?
BTW, her social anxiety does not mean she's not competent or capable of being a good mother. That girl needs your love, enduring patience and support.

Bros she can’t even meet my family or friends, she will start misbehaving and panicking as if somebody wants to kill her. This is not normal na and I’ve tried to be patient with her, but her shyness is taking over her. I want someone who will represent me well and someone who will be a good mother to my kids.

ValCon888:
One man's meat is another man's poison.
If you know how many men are looking for a reserved homely wife like that you will thank God for many blessings.

It is your duty to explain to them she's the shy type so they can meet her half way.

Hi

I’ve been with a lady for some time now but I’m starting to have doubts about this girl.

My main concern is that she is too reserved and she doesn’t like to do anything that involves people. I come from a big family unit and she’s always avoiding family get togethers, outings, even to meet my friends and socialise with them is a huge problem. We’ve gone out very few times, she’s met my mum and a few friends, but she avoids meeting them most time. I addressed it to her and she claims she has social anxiety but for how long can I continue like this? All she wants to do is be at home. My family are already starting to get the wrong impression of her and they believe she is proud. I know my older sister is not too fond of her because of her quiet nature and I think this will take a toll on us in the future if we get married. I don’t want a wife that cannot do basic things like go out with me to events or represent me well. I don’t want a wife that will be hiding in the house 24/7.

Another thing is that she has some stubborn traits in her. She’s a lovely woman, she’s very kind, compassionate and she motivates me a lot. When she’s around me alone she’s very cool, but when it comes to going out and doing things, she starts acting up. I cannot deal with her shy nature as it’s too much and it’s becoming embarrassing. She’s 24. What do I do please?