Progressivegee:


My Candid Opinion, I don't think it's out of place because she has given you a time frame of complete loan repayment which in your words is December or February next year. For starts, non-care skilled work visa is more expensive than the Care visa where according to you, COS is usually bought. While you don't pay health surcharge for care visa, you have to pay for non care visa.

She has also agreed to share bills with you at the end of the loan repayment period. Do not hit the nuclear button like someone suggested because of the MAD consequences. Your marriage doesn't have to hit the rocks for this reason whether you change sponsor or not.

Give her the benefit of doubt and continue paying till the agreed time. After then, you can work things out together. I understand you seem you are losing your authority. but do not be too quick to hit the switch to get back your authority. Whether we like it or not, a man's authority isn't defined by the dangling balls on his waist but his financial strength, if you think otherwise, ask some men whose wives are the bread winners.

Try and calm down and see it through the remaining months and then you can always have a defence whenever she say I brought you here cause you have paid back with your full chest.

Like @bigtt said. You can also reset her brain with some good sexual healing. Enjoy your home and stay blessed

It's not a care job, we are both professionals and when she got the job she told but I just finished a project. I tried all I could to get funds and I even borrowed.. I still owe some of my friends till date.

The main thing we paid was IHS and Visa fees which I closed all my account and borrowed to be able to contribute. She was never the breadwinner and that's been her mentality from Nigeria because I was doing well in Nigeria. It was just unfortunate that when she got the job I was really broke cos of the project I just finished which she's aware of. It's just her mentality that man must take care of everything and that's why she's being using that as a leverage.

I came here also and I got my first job within 2 months with a pay of 49k thinking all will be well. As everyone suggested, I will continue till next year February hoping there will be a change.

Thanks everyone.

Cc. Jlaw1
Justwise
Dygeasy

AirBay:


So if you get sponsorship whats your plan? You go fly up, it leads to arguments? Divorce? You move out of the house?

Bro, solve this now whether you are depending on her visa or not, that's the not the problem. The issue is with your finances. If you get sponsored, the finanace issue still continues or are you afraid she may divorce you first?

Trust me I've had this discussion but not leading to anything good, we talked today and i had to beg her again that this is much. Her responsewas I'lltake energy and council tax when im done with the loan, and i asked when is that "she said i dont know for now but by december or next year February". I created this new account to speak it out of a heavy heart. You won't really understand how worried i am. I'm even looking for weekend shift in care home or factory to get more funds. It's funny and this is the only avenue to share the worries

justwise:


I suggest you carry on paying those bills and rent and allow her to recovery from all the money she spent. At least you still have little left after paying bills.

She did not bother you when repaying the loan so you need to repay her now.

How long bro? This is the 7th month. Anyways, thanks

Lexusgs430:



She is a very wise woman....... That 70% front loaded payment, would end up costing you 70,000%..........😛🤣😜

Cunny woman die ...... Cunny man must bury am .......😛🤣

I know but she's not wise as she claims, I'm just not doing anything because of the environment we find ourselves and my dependency on her. I really pray i get sponsorship.

justwise:


She paid back the loan single handedly?

Yes, I want to join but she said i shouldn't worry. I asked the amount but i never got response when my insistence was much she said circa 15million which is not true cos its not care work that you'd paid for COS and the coy paid our tickets.

bigtt76:
Una still de f@ck abi una stop?

1. Have you asked her how she came about the 70% she spent to send you guys here?
2. When you said she wants to rest and not doing anything at home do you mean she's working but refuses to foot any bill at home?

I think you just have to bear, cut down some expenses so you don't need to borrow and keep at it till you get a better paying job.

Tbh, she said she got some loan. Getting job too no easy. Im searching really hard for higher pay but ain't coming. I can't really cut cos we've got kids.

Elders and dependants especially male I need your advice please.

I'm a dependant who is also working in uk. I appreciate my wife cos she spent over 70% of the funds we used while coming to uk and also took care of home for 2 months before i got a job. I was lucky to get a good job in Manchester 2 months after I got to uk which is a midlevel role in my career path as a systems engineer. My wife has refused to do anything at home cos she claims she wants to rest and I should be grateful that she brought me here. This is leading to serious arguments cos after paying rent, bills and food I'm left with almost nothing infact I had to borrow in the last 2 months because I bought some home appliances in our newly rented apartment.
Right now, I'm so confused because it's more like I am just working to spend and her money belongs to her strictly and she means it. I am careful cos I'm bound to her visa and I am even begging her to take just bills but she refused. This has been on for over 7 months and i can not boast of 2k savings even with 49k salary.

How do I manage this? Just confused tbh cos she's also working full time even grossing more than i

..