₦airaland Forum

Old story

A Jamaican man was makin
love to his wife
for de 1st time...
Suddenly he shouted,
"Jah Bless" and run out of
the room, came
back with a giant bucket of
water, poured it
on his wife's ifedili....
His frightened wife
shouted,"Watta gwan,
what u rasta man do dat
for?"
De man answered, "bombo
clat woman,
dis ting too sweet,
me gwan dilute it, remember
me diabetic
and
sweet ting a no gud for me
rastaman.

Brimmie: There should be a planet named INTERNET.
=======================

We learn Online
We Shop Online
We meet People Online
We hav.e Sex Online
We watch Movies Online
We play/hear Songs Online
We watch TV Programmes Online
We attend Church Service Online
We go to Prison Online (NairaLand Prison Yard)
=============================


We've not started eating Online, so why Fasting?

Bros u dn break ma ribs o,
Lmao, ask dem o

Tundar fire am !!

Lol, wht does Tb knw abt Sports...?

adaobi123: 51 & above

15-20

thnks 4 crossing 51 nd above, if nt xo ma grandpapa 4 day nairaland na.
Mine z 15-20 jawe

Jakumo: Please can we see some shots of the Igwe of Nnewi surfing some big waves at Huntington Beach...

abi o,

ebamma: siddon dey count oda people money no go make your own.

lol, Bros u nearly make m fall 4rm ma chair

A
35-years-old Israeli man
was hospitalized Friday
after a snake bit his Cores
while he was on the toilet.
The man, who is from
northern Israel was visiting
his parents in the Lower
Galilee town of Nofit when
he went to the bathroom.
While on the toilet, he got
the surprise of his life; A
snake crept up from inside
the bowl and bit his
joystick, according to The
Times of Israel's report,
based on a television news
story.
After the bite, the man "ran
from the room in horror"
and was later taken to
Haifa’s Rambam Medical
Center for treatment.
Hospital staff at Haifa’s
Rambam Medical Center
confirmed the snake-bite
story to The Huffington
Post.
"There will undoubtedly be
bite marks on the area in
question," a representative
from
the hospital told the
Australia's Daily Telegraph.
"The snake was not
poisonous. The man is
currently under
observation pending
additional test results and
as soon as we get the
results, he will be able to
go home."
"This
is the first time I've
seen a snake bite like
this," one of the
paramedics who treated the
man added. "Luckily, all
tests seem fine and the
man is feeling well."
Such an incident might seem
quite out of the ordinary,
unbelievable even, but it
has reportedly happened
before. Back in 2009, a 51-
year-old Taiwanese man
sustained minor injuries
when he was bitten on the
joystick by a snake while
on the toilet, the Britain's
Telegraph previously
reported. The snake was
believed to have entered
the latrine through a crack
in the septic tank.
"It was the snake's signal
for help when it bit me," the
man, identified as Lin, was
quoted as saying. "If it
hadn't maybe it would have
been stuck in the septic
tank and either suffocated
or starved to death. It
looked like an accident but
it was actually fate."

Lilimax: Agbo and herbs may be the secret .

Lol, Den She dn Take Overdose....

kambah: May there are some fugitives that are bound to be eliminated, my advise to air travellers to watchout for their co-air travellers, if big men too much better find alternative.

Abi o, u can trust diz politicians...

Oluwaseun Adaramoye, until
her
death was an
undergraduate of Ladoke
Akintola University of
Technology, Lautech. Seun
left her hostel last week
Sunday to visit her
boyfriend and that was the
last time she was seen
alive. Ngozi her friend
explains how Seun left them
that
evening to her
boyfriend's place while they
were all chatting. Seun's
murdered picture below.
Viewers discretion is
advised please.
“Seun Adaramoye was an
100 level accounting
student, she stayed in
Stadium area around
Lawyer Ahmed Junction,
she’s a hostel mate and
also my friend. On Sunday
evening (16th of June), we
were all gisting outside the
hostel as we normally do
and around 5pm, Seun just
said she’s coming and left.
She was on casual outfits
like all of us, so we thought
she had gone to the
junction to buy stuffs but
she went to her best
friend’s place not far from
the hostel.
“When Seun was leaving
her best friend’s
apartment, she told her
that she wants to quickly
get to her boyfriend’s place
in
Oke-Anu around 7pm on
that same Sunday evening
and that was the last time
we both saw Seun.
“We didn’t even notice on
time that she hasn’t
returned cos she’s a
female and no one can
monitor a grown lady, so
we assume that she should
be with her boyfriend Lanre
not until wednesday
morning when Seun refused
to show up for her last
paper. Her friend came to
check on her in the hostel
and it was then that she
informed us that Seun is no
where to be found, we
searched and searched for
Seun but all to no avail.
On Thursday morning, we
decided to report her
disappearance to the
school authorities, that was
when we heard the news of
a dead body which was
discovered at the back of
Jastok Guest House…On
getting there, we couldn’t
identify the body because
several parts of her body
had been cut off, her
breast, one hand, half her
head was gone. We were
eventually able to
recognize Seun by her
hairdo and mark on her leg,
her
birth mark and the
remains of her cloth on the
body.
So the police and the SUG
were invited and they went
after the boyfriend who had
obviously
absconded, so
he has not been arrested
as been speculated but his
best friend was arrested.
People thought he was
arrested because of the
search and the arrest of
his best friend but he
hasn’t been found till now,
he’s gone into exile…On
Searching Lanre’s house,
the police found mysterious
things like Calabash, Ladies
Bra, Panties, Nails and
several under wears.
Our friend Seun was NEVER
a runs girl, she was a very
gentle and loving soul, she
was just unlucky to have
fallen a victim of some
desperate souls. She has
since been buried by her
brother here in Ogbomosho
because the body was
already decaying with
worms all over and
moreover it’s an
uncompleted body and they
won’t bury her like that in
her hometown.
May Her Soul RIP Forever http://www.naijabloger.tk

FIVE people narrowly
escaped death last night
after a train ran into a
truck laden with laterite at
the PWD railway crossing,
opposite the Nigerian Air
Force Base in Ikeja, Lagos.
According to eyewitnesses,
the driver of the truck, with
registration
number LAGOS
XY 288 JJJ, attempted to
play smart by crossing the
railway line, but failed to
make it before the speeding
train
rammed into it.
Eyewitnesses disclosed that the
accident caused serious
commotion as thousands of
passengers, some of who
were sitting on the roof of
the train scrambled for
safety. Though no life was
lost in the accident, but five
unlucky
passengers, who
were left critically injured,
were rushed to nearby
hospital where doctors are
presently battling to save
their lives. The accident,
which happened at about
7:30pm last night, led to
serious traffic gridlock
along the Agege Motor
road, as the train, said to
be coming from Ebutte-
Metta and heading for
Agbado, had to terminate
its journey, leaving of its
passengers stranded.

Madawaki01: Ole..owo ba.
So nigeria police get special fraud unit.
Kudos

m surprised 2 hear dat 2

wow, Trees dn day follow vex...RIP

Dibiachukwu: Yes. I am tired of all this owambe!
Tax them all
Make sure they run out of money to buy #200 credit; that they use to post bigoted comments on nairaland.
Tax them all

ps: all those saying kill them all on boko haram related threads. Please desist. Let the military do their job professionally. No need for babaric slogans

Tax 4 "owambe" again?? Choi !!! Our own don Finish...!

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AK 48: Dats good,hold your leaders accountable.

Lmao... they should hold them accountable with beatings?

AK 48: Dats good,hold your leaders accountable.

Lmao, they should hold them accountable with beatings?

[quote author=O.michael.O]CHILDRENS KE? [/quote]Lwkmd ma head o, English Lecturers day Nairaland...

DJDOLA: ...who go eat dat cake..what if d girl fart on d cake

lolz, d fart go add nutrient 2 d cake.

@ jack, u 4unny o, Lwkmd

Thanks 4 advice, Nigerian youths are now more informed...wish all jambites including myself a successful EXAMS...ijn Amen !

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it not a crime na...abi the proffessor 2 small to hold dollars?

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