₦airaland Forum

I am stuck between this two currently and I don't know how to solve the puzzle, I need your input guys, I have decided to take my fate with my hands.
I got a shop at a good location to start my business again, some of you might know my story already from here, even the last thread I opened I didn't receive any help, so I decided to forge ahead, as a man, you are on your own lol. Man no to dey get help like that, you are already guilty of life unless proven innocent.
So guys, the issue is that, the new shop and my rent is 60k, and it is due next month. I currently have the 60k but I am scared if I go for the shop, I won't be able to pay my rent next month, and I need this shop. I don't have anybody to borrow 60k from if I use the one at hand to get the shop, pls what business can I do within a month to get 60k. I have been staying at home all these while and this is my chance to atleast leave house and go to hustle for daily bread, man is no longer getting younger, my neighbours don see me finish.
I need your advice guys.

Koppaguard:
Op I was once like you but experience made me focus on myself, I pray you bounce back because good people don suffer for this world.
If you can leave your state to a place like Abuja, PH or Lagos, I believe you won't be poor if you are determined to succeed.

I really wish to go to Abuja or PH but I don't have the capital, except if I can see anyone that can accommodate me for a month or two while I go out to hustle for work, then save up money for rent, I thought I will get something doing here after service... but this state is very dry that even to see a work of 20k in a month is by strong connection which I don't have, now I am stuck, no progress and it's eating me up. Thanks bro, I appreciate your input.

Joyful365:
If you can research the cheapest and most produced agricultural produce in your state of residence then send me a message.

I'll try to find buyers in my own state while you handle the sourcing, logistics and transportation

You and every other person will get paid once the goods is delivered. And a bank guarantee will be provided to allay any fears but prevent you or anyone else in the chain from becoming dubious.

If you can do manual labor work, farm or manage a farm then you should start looking for large land to farm next season.

You can also gather some funds and buy block moulder and start following people who mould block to mix for them while learning to mould as well. You can make minimum of 5000-7000 if you mix or mould 10 bags a day. You'll need to travel to a fast developing area where people are building regularly for this... With money you save from this you can buy other instruments used in block setting and start learning masonry or how to set blocks...from there you can graduate into being a building engineer, mapping foundations and taking buildings to roofing levels. Ocerall this option will allow you to see little funds to feed yourself and pay your rent while learning the work.

There are many other options that you can try but I don't know your passion or your strengths.

If you'd like to schedule a zoom call where we can discuss about your situation and possible solutions you can let me know and I'll find time to set up the zoom call.

I wish you all the best

Okay, I really appreciate that 🙏
foodstuff here is cheap, I once posted about it here but the issue is fund for the business.

ecomjourney:
You're only DOWN, not Out.

Wishing you a quick recovery , send me a dm w your account details let me shoot you something to ease the temporary pain while you figure your next move.

Wow Thanks Boss, sorry that I am replying now, no light yesterday and I managed to charge my phone now. May God bless you you for me.

Smilleydr:
oga if you can't help you should shut up, you think s easy for everybody the way s easy for you, Rubbish,

Bro I pray God will surely remember you and this hard times shall pass away. Cheers

Amen my brother, I really appreciate you, I am glad we still have reasonable people here.

bigl:
Too bad, u learnt the hard way but its ok ... such hard lessons should knock some level of realities of life into you bro ... I learnt this the hard way ... catching bullets, grenades and even scud missiles for unserious family members but what did i get out of it? Noooooothing!!!!

See, stop catching bullets for anybody who's unserious with their live o.... leave them to take full responsibilities for their silly actions ....

You are only useful when u can provide and u see, family matters, is a very sensitive matter ... like someone said, u must learn to be stingy if u want to make it in life ... always remember that ....

No matter the amount u spend on family, if you're not careful, whenever u need them to raise u up from trenches, they will not be there ...

By the way, you said u have just finished serving or something, have u considered getting a job?

Try to apply to banks, private companies, et al ... so as to earn a constant pay which is what u need to atleast rise ... business these days, na 50/50 ... it may thrive or die .... and if it does die, your investment goes down the drain....

Try get somewhere to be going and earning something to keep body and soul together ...

Alongside, try as much as possible to learn a skill (digital skill oooo) ...so u can earn additional income ... it does take time but if u are serious or if hunger hammer u well well, u will discover what to do ....

Cos times are seriously hard and gone are the days they will tell u, once u know one thing or have a job, just have a razor sharp focus!

U see that focus on one thing ehn, na him go finish u ...

So, try to get a job .. if it involves u relocating, pls do ... you are not a tree...

I believe in you and i also believe you will succeed!

Ireee oooo

Thanks for this wonderful advice, I really appreciate your time and effort for this 🙏

Ibechris2:
Whenever u starts making money,the first thing that u should do as a man,is to enter into a stage of being stingy and at the same tme,think of ways to diversify ur income as soon as possible.

U can't be making money at the nascent stage of ur life and start becoming generous like United nations,never.

I once told my family members,if anything happens to my finances tomorrow,they would be the ones to accused me of not doing anything for them when i had money.

That in mind,u have to be discreet and extremely careful not to give out and land yourself into penury and disgrace.

To say the least,read these books and regain ur freedom as quickly as possible.

Cash flow quadrant by Robert kiyosaki and
Retire young and retire rich by same author.

All the best in all u do next.

Thanks bro, I really appreciate that.

Baronthecelebri:
Find one believing church attend,and what can you do

I'll do that Sir, I can teach English language and Igbo effectively , I am also tech inclined.

LordBiden:
Then turn it into a phone repair shop,learn some phone repair skills as fast as possible.

Get to work you lazy ass,nobody owes you anything.

Hmmm All these requires money, that's why I am looking for work bro. I am not actually the lazy type but life happened to me.

Acidosis:
I remember your previous thread well. Nearly everyone in that thread gave you advice on what to do. What happened between October and December?

My business folded, people no longer patronise me the way they do. I was into phone charging but light is always available now, I had the opportunity to save enough but I misused it

Good day my people.
This thread is an offshoot of the one I created earlier on seeking advice on how to tackle family issue, which I got the advice I needed, unfortunately I never knew it was already too late for me to act, you can check the thread here.
https://www.nairaland.com/8253637/need-advice-elders-forum-crucial

I wish I knew that as a man, you are only valued when you spend and spend. Though I never regretted giving to my family, but I did that at the detriment of my own future. Now everyone has moved on without knowing whether I live or I die.
The small business I was managing collapsed, I called home to inform my mother of the hardship I am currently facing here, All she could warn me is how I spend on women, that I should be careful with them. Me that she knew quite alright that I am the very opposite of what she insinuated. Now everybody has left me behind, I should have focused on building myself first. I don't know why people with good heart suffer heartbreak the most.
The issue is that I don't have anybody to cry for help. Pls I really need help on how to survive this situation, I don't mind doing menial job just to survive, if I can get okada on hire purchase or keke I will appreciate, or if anyone can help me with job, I rounded up my NYSC last year in the North , and decided to stay and do small business but the business failed due to my mistake. Seun, mods, my fellow nairalanders please help your boy. I need a job and I can relocate to any state to start life afresh, since there is life, there is hope. I pray that I see help here, to eat now is a problem for me, obviously this Xmas celebration is not for me because I am too rich to afford rice and meat now. Pls help me 🙏

That's true

Nairaland is the best place to start life, if only seun can start paying content creators here, it will attract more people, just like telegram did recently, hardship is everywhere and it will lure more jobless Nigerians to the forum, and it's a win win situation for seun.

galantjoe:
Let your mom allow their daddies take those children. He may decide to keep only one.

The truth is that these men may be waiting for right time to strike with court order backed with DNA paternity test. All your suffering and savings will be gone.

Advice your mom to return 2 children to their fathers.
Igbo proverb used to it is not good to wash one's hand in order to crack palm kernel nut for chicken.

Be wise man and choose your fight wisely

Noted, I I will do just that.

We4all:
Dude, you just ended up confusing me. You only mentioned 3 kids under 7 years. Which other ones are teenagers? How many kids did your sister have?

Modified... I had to read the post again and I understand everything now. Your sister had 5 kids. My question is, do the kids belong to one man? What about the father of the teenage boys, is he also a dead beat?

Yes 5boys,we've been living with two before the three joined us, I literally grew up with the two teenage boys, so they are more close to my mum and I than their mother, they don't even want anything to do with their late mother.

We4all:
Dude, you just ended up confusing me. You only mentioned 3 kids under 7 years. Which other ones are teenagers? How many kids did your sister have?

Modified... I had to read the post again and I understand everything now. Your sister had 5 kids. My question is, do the kids belong to one man? What about the father of the teenage boys, is he also a dead beat?

The father of the 3 boys, the younger ones is still alive.

eniolorunfe:
My advice is this : No do pass yourself!!!

For example, if you have 20k to give in a month. Tell her you have 15k to give, because you know most likely she will call later that same month to still ask for money. When she now calls again you give the remaining 5k. You can delay a bit before sending the 5k so that you don’t overstretch yourself.

You need to know that people have the innate ability to sort themselves out, so don’t overstretch yourself trying to please others. Everybody go Dey alright las las.

Thanks, I appreciate your advice.

We4all:
Damn! They are very young. Who was the last one staying with before your sister's demise? Does their dad check up on them and what does he do for a living?

As for bringing one of them to stay with you, I don't think it's a good idea. It would have been cool if there was a teenager among them. Keep sending the little you have and motivate your mom to diversify her income streams.

My sister was staying with the 3 younger ones before she became sick, now my mother has to continue taking care of them, but the other grown up boys, they are teenagers now, they are the ones living with us right from childhood.

Esthered:
OP, do you want to be poor because of your sister's children?
You and your mum need to have mind.
How did you guys fight for custody without having wherewithal?
Even the Bible said who builds a house without first counting the cost.
You guys enabled your sister's behavior to birth up to 3 children. It's embedded in your write up.
Give them back to the dad but involve the relevant authorities.
You're too young for this. Focus and grow, when you are buoyant, go and fight for custody.
Raising 3 boys by aging grandma.....una wan kill am.
Aunty Poco and others have advised you but kindness that'll become RAGE and FRUSTRATION in the future is beclouding your sense of reasoning.

I will do as you said, thanks for your advice 🙏 .

Stevenbright:
People have said indirectly or even directly what you need to do but you are not getting the message. See, you need to cut down on your commitment to them for now.

If you miss the opportunity to help yourself stand on your feet now, you will greatly regret it later and it may be the reason why you may be unable to change your social and financial status in your life time. You can't truly help others well when you have not been able to help yourself. This is the reason why rich business people only become more of a philanthropist after they have truly secured their financial base and about to retire from active business life.

You will be helping yourself and them in the long run if you can reduce your commitment to them now and focus on establishing yourself. Once your case is settled, you can start doing more for them again.

For now, limit your help to the to monthly allowance and it should be according to your capacity within each month.

If the first two boys are of age, tell your mum to enroll them for skills/handwork. That will help them to be creatively engaged while acquiring a life saving skill that can serve as a source of income to them in no distance time.

Noted, I will focus on myself now before I run mad with family responsibilities,I can only assist if I start doing well, I feel relieved bringing this here.

We4all:
I understand your older sister's stance and I am peeved that your late sister lived a wayward lifestyle, which unfortunately you guys are paying for now.

But as it is, you have two choices: keep hustling to train those kids or let their dad have them. In my opinion, since they are boys, they can manage with their father and you guys will just keep checking up on them. How old are they?

the eldest is 6yrs old, second 4yrs and the last is 2years old, the other two are an integral part of the family already, I am planning on how to bring one of them here to stay with me.

LilMissFavvy:
You cannot kill yourself or ruin your future because of your late sisters mistakes in life. Give your mother only 20percent of your income monthly, send it to her once a month, if she calls to ask for more, tell her briefly that you don't have money, don't go into long discussions with her, then cut the call. You can get a second phone number for your job/business, so that you can sometimes switch off the other number if they disturb you with calls.

You said there are three children, there are people who would be interested in adopting those children, but your mom will not want to give them out, so let her keep one of the boys with her, and then send the other ones to their fathers. If she doesn't want to send them to their fathers, then let her give them out as house helps. We still have good people in the world who would take good care of those children. Give her those three options, if she rejects all, then that's her cross to carry.

Thanks, I really appreciate this response.

pocohantas:
Nawa o. Is he an armed robber? How can a man be that terrible yet your sister gave him 3 kids.

They won't stop calling you. Since you can't give them to their father, nothing we would say here can help you. Just do your best to hustle and take care of your 3 sons. You can do it until you are about 45 years before thinking about starting your own family.😊

Thanks for your input.

pocohantas:
You know what to do.
You don't have mind to do it.

Give those kids to their father. He is their dad. Why do we keep excusing men from childcare? He is their dad, not a dragon. If they are old enough to talk and relay information accurately, let him have them. Visit and check on them. If he can't do it, he should give you guys the smallest and his family should hold the first 2.

Even though I don't subscribe to the idea of the man taking the kids, though I doubt if my mum will allow that because the man in question might even kill those children or his numerous wayward friends will do that, my issue is that I haven't stand on my feet yet due to the money I send all the time from my little savings, I really want to take one of them to live with me, but the rate they call me for money is frustrating me, She is my mother and I can't allow her suffer alone.

pocohantas:
Well said. Soon enough one or all of those boys will exhibit traits that would let him know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This is basrd on experience with my cousins (late uncle's kids). 3 boys and 1 girl. They are all as wild as lions.

The next set of calls he would be getting won't be financial. They would be high bp inducing calls of their actions. Thank God his mum is a prophetess. She should look into the future and tell us what she sees.

What do you suggest I do?

pocohantas:
Oh well, your sister is wise.
How much do you think she earns as a civil servant? You made it look like she is working in an IOC or something. She saw where this unending black tax was headed to and quickly cut herself lose on time.


This weight you want to carry is the leading cause of poverty amongst Nigerian youths. It would affect you, and affect your relationship - maybe marriage.

There is always one person like you in every family that takes the fall for the bad moral and financial decisions of the others.

I wish you strength!

Thanks for your input bro, the whole thing is driving me crazy, I don't know what to do

Good day everyone, pls I really need advice on this issue that has been eating me up since this year, I will try as much as possible to make this writeup brief.
I am a young man in my late twenties, my parent gave birth to three children, I am the only son and the last born, My dad is late though.
Late last year, I lost my Sister to the cold hands of death, this my sister lived a reckless life, she doesn't listen to people's advice including that of her immediate family members, she keeps jumping from one man to another, running away from home everytime, in fact while growing up, I didn't see her often, it's the children she gave birth to that my mum has been taking care of, in fact the two boys took the last born position from me, but that didn't bother me because I needed younger brothers. Fast forward to last year that she died of complications, and it was Same last year that I finished my NYSC, her sickness took all my savings, in fact it rendered us penny less before she died, leaving 3 small boys for us, apart from the two that has been living with us, when she died, my Uncles, stood beside my mum with full support to fight for the custody of the 3boys, their father is still alive but truth be told, the safety of those 3 kids can not be guaranteed under the custody of the man. He is wayward just like my late sister.
But now the issue is that, all those people that promise heaven and earth after her demise to help train the kids are no where to be found, even my own sister, our first born no longer pick my mum's call, accusing my mum of supporting my late sister for giving birth every now and then, which is not true, this Same sister of mine is working with state government since the time I was in SS 2, but there is nothing to show for it, she doesn't assist the family at all. my mum takes home less than 40k as salary as a Prophetess in CAC. The whole responsibilities now rest on my shoulders, I am a hard working young man though not yet employed but I make sure she doesn't lack anything, I live in another state where I hustle, though still hunting for Job but since I don't have anybody at the helm of affairs to give me an edge, I decided to go into business in one of the Northern state that I served, now the problem is that since everybody has turned their back on my mum, I am the only one that picks her call, I send money to them every week from the little business I started, sometimes twice in a week. At some point, my business collapsed and I started staying at home, yet I still send money back home, this morning she called me that they don't have anything to eat, that my sister didn't pick her call, I was frustrated, I had to tell her to give out those children to people looking for someone to live with, but she reminded me of my experience when I lived with my Aunt, it was a terrible one though, I still recall but thank God for life. According to her, she doesn't want to make that mistake again, and me on my side, I am no longer getting younger, how do I save for my future, how do I start my own Family, I cannot live her like that because I know how we have suffered in life. I am currently unemployed, and the little money I get from my business, I spend on them, I no longer take care of my self, I told her that she should learn how to manage, because if I am left with nothing, nobody will send me money, nobody will help me, I have been striving alone right from childhood and I don't know anybody here in the North. I no longer think straight anymore pls I need advice, sometimes I feel used, I bbelieve we have people with vast wealth of experience and knowledge in this forum, pls advice me, I can't hide it any more, all this is true and verifiable, I am losing it... Pls forgive my long post.

Who still dey use yellow card, ever since I lost funds with them, I no dey reason their matter again, na God go judge them.

richfriendsng:
Your lord and personal saviour Kanu couldn't withstand the urge to knack fresh toto in Kenya, I pity una 😂

comrade easy.

99thEnemy:
Those are unproductive degree programs in our setting.

Seriously

This life no balance, so others that studied other courses came this world to watch una, causes like zoology, Mass com, public admin, English language and literature, etc. We can't take this

Meanwhile, I am graduate too but I now sell herbs, check my signature for your health solutions, men take back your pride in the other room

Nice decision, seriously Nigeria is turning to something else oo, how did we arrive at this, it has never been this bad. Anyways God helps those who help themselves.

Meanwhile, as a man you need this formula not to fall your hands in the other room, take back your pride. Check my signature.