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Just a taste
Episode 2
My mum was the first to confirm if I had not taken some kind of intoxicating drugs to knock me off my senses. She quickly drew me aside and snatched my well packed bags, we stood staring at each other for couple of minutes before she made the first attempt and spoke out, You know that awkward moment when someone is trying to understand if he or she is not attending to a mental patient
©Onyeneke Abel
“Nadia are you OK? Are you having any mental… You know, issues?”
I attempted to say something but she continued
“It’s just a divorce Nadia, it’s not the end of life, or are you planning to run mad because of this?..not that I really liked that Wilson”
I took my time, used lots of grammar to try and convince her, but it wasn’t working..
Next she consulted my father and brother to see into the issue, I wasn’t making headways… So finally, I lied that I was just trying to pull their legs. I understood their point anyway, how can a medical doctor just wake up one morning and abandon such a professional career to become a cook? Like who does that?
So I just lied that I was going to spend a month with Flora, just to clear my head a little
©Onyeneke Abel
After much persuasion, they allowed me leave the house.. I was metres away from Benin City to Lagos when the lie expired
“Nadia where are you for God’s sake?”
My mother voice rang in my ears
“on my way to Lagos mum”
I heard her scream, the line went off, I am sure it must have fallen from her hands..I quickly switched off my phone, because I was sure next would be my Dad and my brother, then my Uncle…In fact, the whole extended family, trying to talk Nadia out of this, but I was certain and my mind was made up
“I love you sweetie”
The girl beside me caught my attention.. She was on a phone call, I was guessing it would be her lover, or husband. I remembered that was the last words I told Wilson before he ate my poison..
Well don’t blame me, but for that singular reason I hated the girl to the extent I felt like pulling her tongue from her throat, I couldn’t help it
©Onyeneke Abel
She ended the call and caught me staring at her like a wounded lion..
she was startled that her phone initially fell from her hands
“Hello, good afternoon”
She greeted nervously, and adjusted her sitting position, a little farther from me…She made sure her cornered eyes never left my position, just in case I decided to strike..
The bus stopped suddenly, What was going on?
“Driver wetin happen nah..?”
“Which kind wahala be this self?”
The passengers shouted at the driver until he couldn’t bear it, he screamed back
“No be the motor I dey try do so?! Abeg una go come down make we push am small”
Chai! I bit my finger, because of my mum’s suspicions I decided to leave my car behind..God why now? Why did you lead me to this kind of public transport?
“Madam abeg come down make we push dis thing, no dey form ajebo for here”
One of the dark huge passenger lashed at me..I dare not reply, his baritone and his size intimidated me already, I just simply came down and acted like I pushed with all my strength
“Madam push dis thing, you no dey push anything, you think say nah you AC car you dey?”
Same man again, what was is issue with me?
I opened my mouth again, but his muscular arms made me swallow my saliva with the words I had, down my throat. I needed to think, I had no back up, my family was not even in support of my journey, so lemme just mind my business and condole the rubbish
The Bus started, hallelujah! Only to break down four more times before we got to Lagos..
I was seriously stressed out, I equally found it difficult to locate the place till late in the evening..
It was boldly written
“SERENA FOODIES”
Wow, my name sake!
My face beamed with smiles, the house was transparent, I could see lots of people with bags just like myself, going to and fro… I could spot some cooks on their costumes, some other persons on suit… I guess those would be the supervisors.. Without wasting much time I hurried in.. I could see almost everyone going into a particular sector, and after few minutes, they come out with toothpicks, some with well packed food..
Thank goodness, I was starving..I quickly searched thru my pause and hurried in.. I had to gasp at the sight…It was exquisite, the counter was crystal built, the food selection was arrayed on a tray that was on rotation..I hurried there to notice the person in charge screwing thru her phone..
©Onyeneke Abel
It took her few minutes to raise her head to listen to me..’I no blame am’
“Just take your pick, it free for new interns”
Her words sent my stomach ablaze, you know how Nigerians react to that slogan
“FOC (FREE OF CHARGE)
Without wasting time, I filled my plate with a combination of different type of food I have never had in my life, despite my extravagant life..I made sure it was stocked with meats of different kind..
Chicken suya wrap, toasted turkey, toasted snail and fried chicken
I noticed people giving me that look, but I didn’t care..I dived into my food and ate every last crumb..
When I was certain my stomach couldn’t take more I tried my best and pulled myself up..
Metres away I heard the announcement
” All new interns report to the Hall”
I quickly joined the crowd and hurried there..
A woman on suit was standing on a podium, with a microphone attached to it… I could tell she wore a very expensive Cologne judging from the way she stood with pride in her eyes..who is she self, the president’s wife?
©Onyeneke Abel
We settled down on the seats provided, despite the crowd, we all fitted into the Hall, with lots of space left to cover
“I welcome you all to Serena foodies, I believe you all came here with one goal in mind; which is to become a professional cook…”
Her words slowly went faint in my ears..my stomach was trying to have revenge on me, I had eaten way too much…
I seriously needed to gas out, and I was 100% sure that it would create a massive confusion..I shut my eyes and tried to notice who sat beside me
Gosh!S Both sides where cute, handsome guys..I broke out in sweat, the more I tightened my ass to push it in, the more it came back in full force..
I used my jotter to try and breeze my tummy, it wouldn’t listen still..The guy on my left side had to look at me to ask
“Are you OK miss?”
At first I was shocked, but I quickly forced that smile
“Yes I am..I am..why wouldn’t I be?”
I replied nervously
He laughed..’God who send am’ cos the moment I tried to force the laughter..my worst nightmare escaped from my ass, and exploded into the atmosphere..
JUST A TASTE
DANIEL: Hey there! Come on now, don’t tell me you were expecting this story to be written based on just Nadia’s view, I am a part of it too..And just so you know, I am the guy who sat on her right hand side, and equally the guy who was the first to be blast by her thunderous fart. I should have minded my own business, till today she blamed me for making her laugh nervously. Was it my fault? I was just trying to help
©Onyeneke Abel
Ok let me explain how I got into the picture. My father died when I was just 8 years old. I was extremely devastated, not just for his death but because there was no one to defend mynonchalant attitude. I was left with my strict mum. The family has succeeded in setting up a massive plaza where both the whites and the blacks patronizes.It was a company inherited from generation to generation. And luckily I was the only son, so without much deliberation I knew I was next in line.
©Onyeneke Abel
There is just one fact, I hate cooking. I believe it’s a job for the women, come on! Am a man for God’s sake! But my mumwouldn’t agree”How can you tell if a food tastes well if you cant cook?”She always ask me when I try to defend my rightAnd so she enrolled me in “SERENA FOODIES” with a strict warning to keep my identity hidden from the public eye. No one must find out that I am the Son of The Kayode’s Kitchen else I would be given special treatment.I have my own plans though; there is no way I would stay in the dunk house for long. I miss my friends. I miss the clubbing, the beer and the girls..
©Onyeneke Abel
I am not ready to be a man yet, but that woman wouldn’t listen!And then I saw Nadia approaching the Hall, God! She was a beauty to behold. A tall sexy Damsel, her lips were full and juicy, her hips were so visible as she hurried into the Hall..she was so well shaped, with this her American pointed nose..InstantlyI swore to have her on my bed before I make my plans to escape from this prison. Just that I never imagined that she would blast me with that fart. Seriously, I need to confess.. For a minute or two there I couldn’t remember my present position. The stench could tell that she had eaten way too much. Just as I was about to scream with the crowd, a thought came to my mind.NADIA: You know that awkward moment when you feel like vanishing into thin air, I shut my eyes and just wished I would melt like ice. Immediately the devil broke free from my ass, it didn’t even hesitate, it went to work immediately..
©Onyeneke Abel
First it overtook the center roll, and then the left to almost thevery end. A Slow uproar was created, with different complains”Who did this now? Gosh!”The ajebo girls”Wetin be dis, who mess here”The ajekpako ones..The woman on the podium had to complain when she noticed the attention of the Hall was being divided, until the devil got to her, and made her confused.. She left the podiumand promised to be back in a few minutes©Onyeneke AbelCurses arises from different angles”Na God go punish that person, e yansh go block”Silently in my mind I was just pleading ‘God forbid’I had actually thought no one except the guy on my right knew I was the one who actually originated the confusion. Until the guy on my left planned to expose me”Why did you do this, even with all the beauty you can still disgrace yourself like this”On a normal ground, I would have slapped a tooth of his mouth, but I was guilty as charged, I refused to open my eyesand he was just about to expose me when the guy on my right tapped him and extended a bundle of cash to keep him quiet..©Onyeneke Abelwith my head still bowed I turned to spy at him..he had a smile on his face, just by a look I knew this one was a total pervert”Hi, I am Daniel.. And I just saved your ass”That’s great, but was I supposed to say Thank you?
Just a taste
Continues