₦airaland Forum

Hi all, I know this is an old thread but wanted to give my 2 cents mainly as a way of connecting some ideas together in my own mind to try and rectify this issue but also hopefully inadvertently offer some advice. I have been in my first serious relationship for almost half a year now and I'm starting to feel inferior to my partner and in addition, my pain body likes to connect this inferiority complex with the same feeling towards guys I'm sort of friends with but they seem to be doing better than me.

It connects this because I feel like I don't deserve her and that these guys could easily come and sweep her off her feet. This is obviously not likely, from what I know in my heart, we both love each other and trust each other and this could never happen. However, the inferiority complex I have, probably caused by the social and cultural issues you guys have been talking about here, ALWAYS pushes me back. I feel like I'm getting somewhere, being what David Deida would call the 'superior man' in my relationship and the next minute, my girl has just got one step ahead of me and so have the other guys I was talking about. So I'm constantly feeling inferior.

What I have realised through reading and listening to the likes of Owen Cook from RSD is that the core issue is inaction. If you are not constantly adapting, changing to the constant flow of what's happening around you, if you are not learning from the mistakes, the curveballs that life throws at you, it's very easy to feel inferior to everyone and anyone. The key is to look at what this is teaching you. Look at what your partner being more successful, achieving more etc. is teaching you. Maybe it's teaching you that you're not competitive enough, that you need to step up. Maybe it's teaching you to be happy in yourself rather than preserving your self-confidence through pretending that the world is just the way you want it to be. From here, formulate a new plan and take action on it. If you're constantly doing this, constantly taking action, constantly formulating new plans based on the shit that's thrown at you, NOTHING can make you feel inferior. Even if your partner is in a better position than you, BE PROUD. BE PLEASED FOR THEM. Hell, be INSPIRED by them. Be honest and open with each other. Don't pretend you're superior because you're the man. Explain that you love her but that you are struggling with this inferiority complex and that you are struggling to improve your financial situation, health situation, whatever it may be...

Be proud of your partner. Be inspired by your partner. Talk to each other about it. Constantly adapt to the changing circumstances. Take action.