₦airaland Forum

What ?

What are you trying to say

Your post is far worse than useless, it is useless AND incomprehensible (not to mention idiotic and a waste of space!!!)

I don't know if it is possible to copy images here, but if you want, you can see about 50 or a 100 pictures like that on a single page...

The translations are absolutely unbelievable... hilarious... but also kind of brilliant in a way... The first few are not that good, they shouldn't be there maybe, but the ones after the first 5 or 10 are insanely, ridiculously hilarious...

http://theabsurdification..ca/2015/04/these-are-pictures-of-china-mentioned.html

Absurdly funny!

Here are 3 more short jokes from Arab countries... The last of the 3 is a famous joke in the Middle East...


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Warning from the State Department: There is a new Middle Eastern computer virus that is being distributed online. If you happen to receive the following email, you should just delete it....


"Dear Americans, you just received a computer virus sent from the Middle East. Because we are not so advanced in the Middle East, this virus is a manual virus. Please erase every file that is on your hard drive yourself and then send this email to everybody you know.
Thank you for helping us out."


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Two Egyptians travel to London, and they decide to board a double-decker bus.

Man on Higher Deck - "How fast are you going?"
Man on Lower Deck - "I don't know, about 50 MPH - how about you?"
Man on Higher Deck - "We are not going anywhere; we are still waiting for the driver."


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An Arab student that was studying in a European city wrote an email to his father saying:

"This city is really nice, the people are cool, and I really like it here, however, there is one small thing that really bothers me...
I am a little bit ashamed that I go to university in my Mercedes, when all of the teachers take the train.

Shortly after, the student receives the following reply from his father saying:

I have just transferred twenty million dollars to your bank account, please stop embarrassing us, go out immediately and buy yourself a train too.

Seriously

It is a native Lebanese/Syrian joke, if you never lived in the Middle East, how likely are you to have ever heard of it

A tourist travelled to Abu Dhabi, after which he booked a room in a hotel for a few nights.

When it came time for him to leave, he realized that he had larger debts to the hotel than he could pay at the time.

The owner of the hotel, however, wouldn't let him go, and he chose instead to offer the tourist an alternate method of paying off his debt.

The owner told him "Either you solve the following riddle in the next two days, or you will have to work in the kitchen of the hotel washing dishes for one week afterwards to clear your debts."

The tourist asked the owner of the hotel what the riddle was, and the owner answered "which person is the child of my mother and father,
but is neither my sister nor my brother."

The poor tourist worked on the riddle for three full days, but he could not arrive at the solution so he went to work inside the hotel's kitchen for one full week afterwards.

Finally, before he left, he asked the owner of the hotel what the answer could be, so that he could ask the riddle to his friends when he returned home.

Laughing, the owner replied, "It's me."

After the tourist returned home, he immediately called on all of his friends to join him so that he could ask them the riddle as well.

When they had all joined him, he asked them: "which person is the child of my mother and father,
but is neither my sister nor my brother. "

His friends gave him all types of answers but none of those answers were correct.

Exasperated and wanting to know the answer, they asked him what the solution to the riddle could possibly be, at which point he answered:

"Seriously, Is it really that hard? Who else could it be? Of course, It's my friend, the owner of the hotel that I stayed in when I was in Abu Dhabi."

This is a very, very funny story, from a funny blog with really, really strange writing.

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Black people in Germany run into problems everywhere, but Germans don't treat all Africans the same.

Lighter skinned black people like Oprah get treated a little bit less badly than darker-skinned black people like Nigerians. Germans believe that everyone should be subject to racism, but they don't understand why two people who don't have exactly the same skin color should have to deal with the exact same amount of racism. To the German mind, this seems imprecise, vague, arbitrary, anarchy almost.

Nigerians who travel to Germany have to deal with the pinnacle, the summit, the utmost, the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be of German racism on a daily basis.

Lighter skinned black people who travel to Germany, however, will often get a racism discount of about 20%.

In some of the bigger cities in Germany, the discount can go as high as 30%, in which case Germans will treat lighter skinned black people the way they treat Mexicans. When it's time for the World Cup, Germans are known for granting racism discounts of up to 45%. In those cases, Germans will treat a black person even better, they will treat him like a white Brazilian or maybe a Southern Italian from Sicily or Calabria.

One black person who was interviewed by a German paper said that after being treated like a Mexican for several months he had begun eating spicy food, then he had started speaking in Spanish, and at one point, he said, he was even thinking in Spanish. He told the German paper that at that point, it was was not fair for him to return to being treated like a Nigerian. He indicated that a person who had been treated like a Mexican for more than 6 months had already internalized his Mexican-ness and that it was unreasonable to ask him to forgo that identity. He argued that any racism discount that lasted longer than 6 months should, from now on, become permanent.

A German entrepreneur who read the article found it to be very instructive; he still thought, however, that Germans would never accept such a proposal, considering it to be a freebie, considering it unearned, and for them, practically a government handout. He thought that a better idea would be to allow lighter skinned black people to sell their racism discounts to black people who were normally not eligible for them.

Prices and fair value could then be determined by the laws of supply and demand. Given the almost unlimited scope of German racism, the entrepreneur envisioned there eventually being stock exchanges where people could buy and sell what he termed racism credits.

Given the potential size of the German racism market, he thought that racism would eventually become a commodity with German speculators purchasing it on futures markets and bundling together racism credits from different sources into a single financial product called a derivative. These derivatives would then be so complicated that only German banks would purchase them.

The German government could then tax any profits made from the sale of those credits, something that would allow it to generate a new source of revenue almost overnight.

The entrepreneur decided to take out a full page ad in that same paper, where he explained his vision in bold outlines and asked that a new regulatory framework be established. He argued that if Germans didn't seize the initiative, Germany might lose first-mover advantage to another country.

As the idea began circulating in the media, first radio, then TV started discussing the idea openly and feverishly, with most Germans rallying in favour of the idea. The argument that seemed to sway the German public most was not the possible loss of first mover advantage to other countries, but rather that other countries might out-racist the Germans.

One popular German commentator stated that the perception of German racism was so widespread that it starting to harm Germany's exports abroad, and that maintaining the practice of racism discounts could be an important tool to help get the world off of Germany's back.

He argued that commercializing German racism would ensure that the institution of German racism would remain robust and still be present for his children and grandchildren the way it had been for his own generation.

He then stated that the Russians, the Spaniards, and the Finnish were already, by some calculation methods, as racist as the Germans, and that they would certainly take the lead if the Germans did not.

Another media outlet indicated that if Germans remained complacent, Germany was at risk of losing its status as a world leader in racism. Germany, it argued, would then become nothing more than a racism museum or a designated racism heritage site.

In spite of mounting support from the German public, no agreement has yet been reached on the exact details of the plan.

A German professor who was on television explained that Germans were too complacent and that the way he saw it, only the Russians putting into place a similar plan before the Germans would end this complacency.

He added, with regret, that things would only get worse before they got better, and that only some form of shock therapy would make the Germans wake up.

He stated that what Germany was currently missing was its own Sputnik moment, and that until the Russians provided it, the Germans would continue to lose ground.

After Sputnik, however, when the Germans had no choice but to face reality, the German professor was adamant that Germans would not only out-the Russians, they would out-racist any other racists as well.

Then, and only then, he said, would this story find its happy ending.

No one knew exactly when Sputnik would come, or even if there would be a Sputnik, the German professor added, all that he knew was that if and when it came, the Germans would respond with a show of force, and show everyone once again that German racism is and always will be the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.

Achtung baby.