₦airaland Forum

I don't want to feel like this anymore. That is why I am asking for advice. I have had feelings for him for ages now but I want to get rid of them and I know its not just lust.

No, I am not hoping he ditches her for me. I want him to be happy and I just want to see him as a friend and nothing more. I am not pushing him to make any decisions either, he doesn't know I still feel as strongly as I do. I can't put distance between us either because we work together and see each other quite often.

I care for him too much to lose his friendship. If he decides to get married I'll be happy for him and his partner. At the moment his happiness means more to me than my own which is why I need to shift these feelings and see him as a friend.

I'm not going to kill myself over it. I want to move on so we can be happy as friends and enjoy what we have.

I spoke to a collegue of mine (who I'd liked for ages) for the first time at the very beginning of the year and we immediately clicked. We get on so well and have become quite good friends. I go for lunch with him and a few others quite regularly and we do nothing but laugh!

Anyway, I now have very strong feelings for him but the problem is he is engaged to be married. We had a night out in march and we kissed when we were drunk and we both agreed we liked each other. I told him how I felt but we agreed things couldn't go further because he is getting married. From what I've heard him say and others say I don't think he is totally happy with the girl he is with and a couple of people think he won't go through with the wedding. Everytime I see him I get butterflies in my stomach and I get so nervous I cannot talk. He loves to take the mickey out of me and he gives me the most sexiest looks ever.

Then last weekend we texting while we were out drinking (seperately) and he invited me to join him. I told him that if he wanted me as badly as I want him, he would come to where I was and the next thing I knew he was in a taxi on his way. Anyway, we had a great night and kissed again. It is clear there is an attraction both ways but he said it could only ever be a one night stand for him but he couldn't do that to me as he cares too much for me so we didn't go any further and again we agreed to stay friends. The thing is, I feel so strongly for him and I know I always will. The attraction is always going to be there. He is one of my greatest friends and I don't want to lose that. The fact he is getting married is so hard. Everytime I see him I just want to hol him. He knows how much he means to me. I don't want to feel this way about him anymore as the fact nothing is ever going to happen is starting to really hurt me. I've never felt this way before, please help. How can I see him as just a friend without longing for more??