I spoke to a collegue of mine (who I'd liked for ages) for the first time at the very beginning of the year and we immediately clicked. We get on so well and have become quite good friends. I go for lunch with him and a few others quite regularly and we do nothing but laugh!

Anyway, I now have very strong feelings for him but the problem is he is engaged to be married. We had a night out in march and we kissed when we were drunk and we both agreed we liked each other. I told him how I felt but we agreed things couldn't go further because he is getting married. From what I've heard him say and others say I don't think he is totally happy with the girl he is with and a couple of people think he won't go through with the wedding. Everytime I see him I get butterflies in my stomach and I get so nervous I cannot talk. He loves to take the mickey out of me and he gives me the most sexiest looks ever.

Then last weekend we texting while we were out drinking (seperately) and he invited me to join him. I told him that if he wanted me as badly as I want him, he would come to where I was and the next thing I knew he was in a taxi on his way. Anyway, we had a great night and kissed again. It is clear there is an attraction both ways but he said it could only ever be a one night stand for him but he couldn't do that to me as he cares too much for me so we didn't go any further and again we agreed to stay friends. The thing is, I feel so strongly for him and I know I always will. The attraction is always going to be there. He is one of my greatest friends and I don't want to lose that. The fact he is getting married is so hard. Everytime I see him I just want to hol him. He knows how much he means to me. I don't want to feel this way about him anymore as the fact nothing is ever going to happen is starting to really hurt me. I've never felt this way before, please help. How can I see him as just a friend without longing for more??

oh baby gal! Why do you hurt yourself this way?Are you ho[ing he would realise his mistake and dish the girl for you; possibly at the altar?

sweetheart, don't do this to yourself, if he is really making the mistake, and he feels it and he is not strong enuf to call it off, then he might have his reasons! You can not stop feeling the way you feel , if you are still very much close. You have to put a distance between yourselves, maybe than he would come to realise what a gem you are.
Do not push him to take harsh decision or something you both might regret, i hope this feeling is not just based on lust o!

herdey i agree wt u in totality.u,v got 2 figure out wt u really want and also try and discover the true source of his feelings 4 u. wether its 4rm d d or the h. but generally i think ur headed 4 heartbreak. i found myself in a similar situation sme time ago bt she wsnt married bt she,d had a long rtnship b4 ds(6 yres) we caught the sparks btwn us immediately and the straffing ws out of ds world. i ws in 4 the fun initially bt after she professd lv of diff proptns 2 me i fell in hook line and sinker, only 2 b left in the cold wn the guy came back. so i bliv killin it nw would b best 4 u xcept if ur jst in 4 the fun.bes of luck

hey baby girl u don't need it girl see all u need to do is stay clear 4 some time and try 2 take ur mind of it so that u won't hurt urself.we all no what love is expect the one that has not fall in it.

If I answer, u will get more confused, so I'll just pass

Very romantic story

But seriously, shit happens!

All i can say is 'Deal with it'

Dont go killing yourself about someone else's man, wait and see if he wont go through with the marriage then make your move.

If he loves you more than his wife to be, then he would have no problem ending it with his fiancee'. So, let the will of God happen and do not put assunder! there is a word called Kama, imagine how his wife to be would be feeling if she knew you two as much as kissed? and what if she loves him with her whole heart?

Life sometimes is harsh but u need to deal with it.

I don't want to feel like this anymore. That is why I am asking for advice. I have had feelings for him for ages now but I want to get rid of them and I know its not just lust.

No, I am not hoping he ditches her for me. I want him to be happy and I just want to see him as a friend and nothing more. I am not pushing him to make any decisions either, he doesn't know I still feel as strongly as I do. I can't put distance between us either because we work together and see each other quite often.

I care for him too much to lose his friendship. If he decides to get married I'll be happy for him and his partner. At the moment his happiness means more to me than my own which is why I need to shift these feelings and see him as a friend.

I'm not going to kill myself over it. I want to move on so we can be happy as friends and enjoy what we have.

I feel u girl

But its lust not love, the feeling is strong & feels so real, but its lust, some deep attraction on the surface level.

I'm sure the guy knows the difference in what he feels for his wife to be & u dat's why he has decided, that u remain what u are to him. Have u stopped to think if the guy is confused himself? I'm sure he as hell knows what he wants.

Its hard but u'll get thru it. Don't hope on where u'll never be. Pray for urs & love will find its way.

@poster

Cant say much, just know its not strange, you are not the ony one in this rocky boat. I feel u totally!!!!

@ Poster. I understand you and my advice for you speaking from experience is: If you can't handle it,then stay away as much as possible.Truthfully he might actually prefer you to his soon-to-be wife but he's not willing to quit that relationship for reasons I believe is stronger than what he feels.This looks like an accident waiting to happen given time.If you love yourself more than the trouble that looms ahead then you need to use the next exit door and keep your distance.Ofcourse you'll still be happy for him vice versa (if he feels that way ohh) but you don't want to ruin his relationship with this other woman and end up miserable.
Don't text or call except for the occasional once or 2ce a year emails or perhaps seasonal greetings.
Let me frighten you a bit, you're in for a long period of heart ache.It will appear like a forever feeling.