₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
You, your mom, your sis and her husband are all wrong.
I honestly feel like you guys on your part are even more wrong to make her feel like she has no one she can depend on to be on her side when her husband treats her badly. Maybe because he pays the bills you guys are willing to throw her under the bus and tell her “it’s just cheating”.

Now you’ve listed all her faults, where’s the accountability for him in all of this? I’d disown y’all if I was her. She merely called your mom a bad mom. That’s mild for someone who encourages her daughter to sit down and collect STD after STD year after year.
Una well done.
try to make sure that your judgment and recommendations are not one sided. Where’s his family in all of this? Are they supporting his years of “just cheating?”. Has anyone even told him he’s wrong for that? Or you guys are just focusing on the one she’s doing wrong?

All of you need to change. Her attitude, the husband, you and your mom need a do over. Thanks

He pays his family bills. Not ours. My parents single handedly sponsored my education (and that of our other siblings). I am a medical doctor searching for a place to do my house jobs. My parents are comfortable, when they become 80 they won't still need us to give them money because they already built things that'll keep bringing money for them.
I don't understand you cococandy o, did you read the post?
So far she has been claiming this man is cheating, still there's no evidence.
There was one time she started a rumor that her husband has children outside, she even called her mother in law and was cursing her. At the end of the day, it turned out its wrong information from one of her husband's apprentice.
Till this hour, her MIL had not step into that house again. When she had her last child, the mother-in-law, did not show. It was mom that traveled to Abeokuta last year to beg her. And still, she's a bad mom abi?
I'm the last child of the family. I don't want to call her and start telling her she's senseless at 34.

Your husband is not educated, whatever money he makes, he saves it in your bank account. And you will be telling him the bank manager called you and said #100,000 is missing. Whereas, you're the one stealing his money.

When I visited them during this pandemic, he told me how he's sad about the whole banking system. How money get missing and nothing is done about.
I told him my bank doesn't steal money, helped him to open another account. And my sister stopped talking to me.

thorpido:
Could there be an element of Truth in the bolded or your sister is just exaggerating?
It doesn't seem your sister is into her husband/marriage that much.For whatever reason,the love really isn't there.
You can't force it.

There is no truth in it, that woman has done everything for us. she's not the typical Nigerian mother you can't talk to.....she's our friend.

thorpido:
Sorry,what of your dad?

First of all,the way children turn out in life rests greatly on the training of the parents(there are exceptions though where the child just turns bad no matter what the parents do).
If a mother is having sleepless nights because of a child,she has part of the blame.How come your sister doesn't cook for the family?

Anyway,your sister is an adult now and she has to handle her business.Was she not sent to school and chose the option of getting pregnant?She should deal with her own marriage.
Your mom has given her word,if she can no longer cope,let her leave the marriage.

She's having sleepless night because she felt she has given her all and my sister said she isn't a good mom.
My sis knows how to cook but she's married to her business. and would rather opt for bread, noodles etc.
Our dad is battling an elderly disease. It wouldn't do his heart good if we told him.

I never thought I will be among those that will create a new username just to post their problems. But I have many Nlers friends....I don't want anyone calling me or coming to my WhatsApp to sympathize with me or something.

I have a sister who is in her early thirties, she has been married for over twelve years. She kept complaining to mom that her husband is cheating. And my mom kept advising her to stay on the marriage. This is why;

1. My sis is extremely stingy( she's the type of woman that won't cook for her children if her husband doesn't drop money). She can't single handedly raise those four children in case of divorce or something.
2. She exaggerates a lot. She's a liar. And a nosey woman that listen to hearsay. Sometimes she let the first child to follow her husband to his workplace and she would start interrogating her. Who did your daddy spoke to? Blah blah.
3. She pays her Husband apprentice to give her information about her husband and the women he sees. She snoops through his phone, call customers and curse them.
4. She doesn't have time for her family. She doesn't have time to cook. Its mostly noodles and Pepsi she gives her husband.
5. The husband had told mom he's still in the union because of his children and the support from our family
Mom had told her on many occasions that if she was her DIL she would have sent her packing because she's a terrible woman.

Background story: she was sent to school, but she kept visiting the guy. She got pregnant and mom was against the union because the guy is not educated. Not even SSCE level, eventually mom gave her support, they got married.
Fortunately for her, the guy is responsible. He loves her and the children, even we the family and he pays the bill.
She has never called mom for any financial assistance. Just this one complain that the husband is cheating. Mom has talked to the husband many times, at the end of the day we found out that she's just exaggerating (the guy might have cheated o, but most of the accusations are not true).

The Problem; she has been calling mom for weeks now to complain the same thing and mom told she wasn't interested. She said, "you've been married to him for twelve years and still its the same complaint. If you can't focus on your kid and yourself, that's your problem"
My sister replied with "Is it possible to focus on my kids when my husband is doing all these"
Mom said, : Then leave the marriage.
My sister called me and said our mom is not a good mother.

My mom has been sad since, she has been unable to sleep. And I seriously hate my sister.

Like what our mom wanted for us was not to be like some of the women in our family with seven husbands.
I just hate her really, and the whole thing is saddening. I want to make my mom happy and all.