₦airaland Forum

These drawings are part of my brother's work. Nairalanders whayasay

Ilekeh:
Who is Helen Paul and what type of vegetables does she sell?

LMAO!

Read her piece as published on The Trent below:

The comedian and mother of two Helen Paul, writes down her views and disappointment in President-elect, Muhammadu Buhari recent statement that he cannot guarantee the safe return of the kidnapped Chibok girls..

Hmmm… it’s one year and some days now since the Chibok girls have been missing. Yet, the days are still counting because we have no clue about their whereabouts.

This is a very sad development indeed. No doubt, it was a disappointment that the outgoing government failed to locate and rescue the girls from the hands of their Boko Haram abductors.

As a mother, who knows what the pains of child labour and child upbringing are all about, I heaved a sigh of relief when Muhammadu Buhari emerged winner of the presidential election. It was not because I like him more than Jonathan, but because I listened to one of his campaigns, where he promised to bring back the girls if elected into office.

Perhaps, Nigerians elected him on that premise.
I feel that, at least, it will be a great achievement for whoever locates and brings back the girls to their respective families. In fact, whoever achieves that will be celebrated as a hero all over the world. But then, I have seen another reason to believe that all politicians are the same.

Their modus operandi may only be different. A few days ago, exactly when it clocked one year that the girls had been missing, Buhari broke my heart, just like that of other Nigerians when he said his government could not promise to bring back the girls! I felt really devastated because that comment was a sharp contrast to the promises he made to all Nigerians and the world at large during his campaigns.

Honestly, I try not to be disappointed because you can always expect anything from Nigerians, politicians in particular. They can promise heaven on earth during campaigns, but the moment they get to power, they promptly renege on their promises. Such is life in this part of the world where we find ourselves.

I tried to put myself in the shoes of the parents, relatives and neighbours of the missing girls, who, perhaps, solicited votes for the retired General after hearing his campaign promise that he would bring back the girls. How will they feel now hearing him say something to the contrary?

There is an adage in Yoruba that says ‘ omo eni ku san ju omo eni sonu lo,’ meaning that it is better for someone’s child to die than to be missing. I can imagine the different thoughts and imaginations that would have saddled the minds of those girls’ parents. If the girls are dead (which I don’t pray for anyway), the parents will mourn for sometime and recover, but that they are missing is another experience entirely.

http://www..ng/2015/04/30/i-am-disappointed-in-buhari-helen-paul-must-read/

Keep resting in peace founder...ijo CAC oni baje o. One fold,One shepherd

Body odor lon da lamu

voxpopp:
Me I sha know without Ibos, Lagos will not develop. Look at the important fields of interest they are well known for.

Prostitution, selling of fake video game discs, fake cds and dvds, fake drugs, peddling of hard drugs, piracy, selling of gala on the highway, selling of okrika clothing items, selling fake vehicle spare parts, importing substandard china goods, importing and exporting aba made clones etc.

This activities are very vital to the economical success of Lagos.

We cannot do without them

They are very vital to us . Pls oba Akiolu, don't kill them for us. We also love their girls with their flat bald heads, moustache, yam legs, and hairy limbs

Lol! Naughty!

sam13:
We are watching with keen interest. Are you from Oyo state?

Nope,I'm from Ondo state

THis weekend’s contest in Oyo State would set a
record in the country. Unlike many other states of
the country where the All Progressives Congress,
APC is in battle with only the Peoples Democratic
Party, PDP, the scenario in Oyo State is a five
horse race involving three other parties in the
governorship and state legislative elections.
It is also marked by another uniqueness: It is the
only race where three former senators are in
active combat and only state where two former
governors are in contention to return to office.
The PDP’s governorship candidate challenging the
APC’s incumbent office holder, Senator Abiola
Ajimobi is the former Senate Leader, Senator
Teslim Folarin. Another former senator, Rasheed
Ladoja is also bidding on the platform of Accord,
while yet another former governor of the state,
Adebayo Alao-Akala is fighting on the platform of
Labour Party. The business mogul, Seye Makinde
who is contesting on the platform of the Social
Democratic Party, SDP could well be said to be the
only one of the five that is not a former this or
that.
All the candidates for the governorship and
House of Assembly are making last minute efforts
to convince the voters ahead of the polls. The APC
which easily swam to victory in the presidential
and National Assembly polls penultimate
Saturday, is bound to face stiffer challenge this
weekend.

Ur days are numbered Fayose

vjsmiles:
[b] who dafuq is this smelling pussy? [/b

U've gat nothing meaningful to say...sorry!

vjsmiles:
How in the world is it your _business_ how people choose to live their live?

na you get their sperm

STFU bro!!!

Its true we all have one bad habit or the other,but these habits are so annoying:


-People that don’t drink water till they
finish eating: Please keep your medical
explanation in your pocket. If you’re among the
sad people that do this, then you need serious
deliverance. You people that do this are the ones
who go to the toilet to release your shit and the
toilet silently screams “I can’t take this shit” Fam,
these niggas drop shit more toxic than what
Hiroshima experienced. I can tell who you are by
whether you drink water during meals or not. Be
there thinking you’re living healthy; you’re really
just a health hazard. Maybe because you’ve not
swallowed hot eba before; that kind of eba that
makes you open your mouth and transforms your
hand to fan. Nah, you’ve not jammed
– Those of you that answer phone calls,
Instant messages with “Hmmm, this one that you
remembered me today…” Look, you’re the reason
our so called leaders don’t just have sense. The
last time I checked, communication was two-way.
If the person on the other side of the line hasn’t
hollered at you in a minute, I don’t think it’s out
of place for you to have been the bigger one, but
guess what? You didn’t because you’re just an
equal pant. Stop this behaviour before you miss
heaven. Another variation are those ones that see
you after a long while and say “you, you’ve
forgotten me o” Somehow, I have successfully
managed to not beat up these ones. The Lord
really works in mysterious ways.
-You Niggas that RT your own tweets, praise etc.
I actually understand these ones. They didn’t get
love while growing up, no hugs, no chocolates,
and no appreciation. This is why they see the
need to share with the ‘world’ once something
nice is said about them.
But you guys have the IQ of a rusted nail to be
very honest. Have you ever hi-fived yourself?
That’s basically what you do when you display
this act of utter ridiculousity. You’re like “Oh!
This person thinks I’m amazing so I’m going to
share this with all of you because I’m usually an
idiot, I don’t get this all the time so yeah…”
Pathe-friggin-tic. Might as well say these guys
are the ones that grow up and commit suicide.
- BeyHivians and Rihannavians – Gosh! I
always want to slap sense into all of you and
then introduce a hot iron to your face for edge
smoothening. I understand fanaticism because
c’mon I’m a football fan but come the hell on,
why you trying so hard to convince us that you
know how many panties Bey has in her pantie
locker? The annoying thing is not that you’re a
fan, noooo. It’s how hard you try to prove it.
Beyonce uses the word ‘flawless’ and all of a
sudden you wake up every day like that although
we really know you woke up looking like badly
wrapped amala. But in the eyes of the Bey fans,
she can do no wrong. Just look at these guys…
Bey fans crayyyy
Then there’s the Navy; You would think that
Rihanna fans will mostly be chimamandists, sorry
feminists (I mean after what Mr Breezy did to her)
but i don’t even know. Rihanna fans are all about
the sexiness that she oozes. quick to classify
Beyonce as “forcing it” but they themselves
couldn’t be sexy if sexy was slapped on their
forehead. LOL. It’s always cute observing the
banter when both camps are at it, I’m just here
waiting for the scandal that will erupt when we
hear that one of them is sleeping with the other
one’s man. or wait, that has happened right?
Rihanna go gets a chest tat, and you decide to
get the same even though you have a bag of rice
as belly.
I guess this is something that’ll never go away
and I might as well accept it yeah? Sigh. Sadly,
there’s a new Lupitarian movement arising,
although if you study these mitts carefully, you’ll
discover most of them are closet Beyhivians..
Lord, deliver us.
- You people that have made the “Jenifa”
speak your way of life . No it’s not the use of “as
in” or “it’s like”, it’s those of you that actually
make conscious effort to speak like her. Dear
Lord, I’d prefer listening to someone scratch their
nails on a chalkboard. How do you not know that
this makes you sound like you were raised by
retards and you’re now the official poster boy/girl
of retards inc worldwide. So this is just a
suggestion o, It’s not like I’m mandating you to
comply but you might just wanna considering
giving yourself some sense and quit talking like
you had no primary education. Although I think
I’m taking a big gamble by assuming you did.
- Chewing with your mouth open . Ask
Lucifer why he was really cast from heaven. Ask
Easy E why he got clapped. Ask Omojuwa why
the SSS manhandled him. This is also the real
reason Mandela fought for liberation. I can’t
understand people that chew with their mouths
open; your upper lip and lower lip aren’t just
there for kissing, they are there to be shut tight
while your teeth mashes food into swallow-able
form. But some of your put the disgust in
disgusting with your eating habits. You share
with the world the content of your mouth like
therein lies the key to world peace And my God,
these ones don’t even chew properly, thinking
about the sounds they make makes me wanna
shoot myself. Stop it o! Every time you chew with
your mouth open, a couple breaks up. See why
our world is the way it is?
There are so many other annoying habits that I’m
sure you guys come across; there are those
niggas that bite on metal cutlery (because they
feel they must kill the spoon or fork while eating),
oh! there are those that pronounce ‘fork’ as ‘ferk’
because it sounds too much like ‘Bleep’ and they
can’t be caught saying such. These ones
eventually grow up to work with Nigeria newsdesk
where they spell ‘sex’ as ‘s-x’. there are those
(like my barber) that out of nowhere send you
whatsapps saying shit like “hello” Me: “Hi, I’m
sorry who’s this?” Him: “It’s chuks, your barba,
how r u?” Me: (after being stunned for like 10
secs and trying to be nice) “Oh ok, I’m good, at
work. Thanks” Him: “When r u comn bak?” Me:
End chat. Sometimes I don’t know if this
Whatsapp is a blessing or a curse. Plus now that
facebook has bought it over, say hello to the
resurrection of old friends.
Ah well, use the comment box, share some
annoying habits you and people you know have.
Cheers!

holluwai:
#babanowthatyouarethere make sure you arrest, fayosi,FFK,GEJ,PEJ,okonjo,denizi,okupe,abati,soso and every other corrupt leader I can't remember. They should go to court, cough out all they've embezzled and go to jail, ehen that one is essential.

Then do the rest.

Nd Orubebe

Vanguard news

The opposition leader Muhammadu Buhari has
scored a narrow victory over President Goodluck
Jonathan in Nigeria’s largest city Lagos, officials
results from the country’s general election
showed Tuesday.
The vote in Lagos was characterised by low
turnout.
Only 1.7 million of 5.8 million registered voters
cast ballots in the presidential and legislative polls
held at the weekend.
Technical glitches, including failures in voter card
identification devices being used for the first time
in Nigeria, caused major delays nationwide,
including in Lagos, a city of roughly 20 million
people.
Frustrations over delays were thought to have
kept turnout down in a number of Nigerian
states.
In Lagos, Buhari of the opposition All Progressives
Congress took 792,460 votes, while Jonathan from
the Peoples Democratic Party won 632,327.
The Lagos government has been controlled by the
opposition since the end of military rule in 1999,
but the PDP had earned victories there in past
presidential elections.
Lagos was identified as a key swing state, where
both Buhari and Jonathan had campaigned hard
in the run up to election day.
It was not immediately clear how the low turnout
would affect the national result, but news of the
win in Lagos was cheered by APC loyalists at the
party’s headquarters in Nigeria’s capital.
Lagos is Nigeria’s most religiously and ethnically
mixed area, and voters have a history of
transcending the sectarian biases that frame
voting in other parts of the country.
Buhari, a northern Muslim, has scored huge
majorities in the north, while Jonathan, a
southern Christian, is awaiting results from his
strongholds

autotrader014:
if buhari was the president wit d likes of tinubu wit him, am sure dey will rig the election very well and notin will happen. am proud of GEJ, he is a hero of our democracy

How is this trash related to the topic?? Stop being a sadist.

Loool!

Sensible op

He's only postponing his trouble na only am go waka come back come go jail.

Nd I don't like wizkid o but boy,for this I'll forever like U

They'll all rot in jail,u guys should just chillax.










APC-----------------CHANGE!!!

GEJ is a blessing in disguise. He did so bad, the
entire Nigeria woke up

This baba is waiting for Baba to be declared the president...Baba na u o

Quantity Survey bah??