₦airaland Forum

I have been on this platform for over about 8years now, I had to create a new account just to seek for advice. My write up may be boring but please take your time and go through it as I Seriously need help.
It all started since when I was about 7 years when one of my neighbors uncle david made me suck his dick.
When I was 13years I was exposed to porn but what surprised me then was the kind of porn I was intrested in. Then I watched animal sex with human during this period I stumbled on gay sex.
When I was 15 years I stopped porn and dedicated my life to Jesus.
I gained admission to university at age 18 all those period I was off porn, off masturbation and I never had a girlfriend.
When I was in 300l I had a roommate who was like a younger brother to me. I notice some nights I will find myself touching his penis while he's sleeping. From there desire set in and I started watching gay porn again but never masturbated.
I ask God for forgiveness and I moved on with my life.
After my roommate I have also molested two younger friends of mine while they were sleeping till date. I got frustrated and tried my best not to sleep on the same bed with any male.

After my NYSC 2020 that was when I started masturbating and till date it still haven't freed me.
I have prayed and open up to some distance friend about the masturbation but I never told them the kind of video I masturbates to.....

I am really sick and tired of this life. Now I am 26 no job, never had a girlfriend and I can't figure out where my life is heading to.
Gradually I am losing my faith, as spiritual exercise I found interesting before are now boring.
I feel empty without the Holyspirit.
Each time I confess and decide I will never watch porn, or masturbate, I still find my self going to my vomit.

Normal sex porn don't even arouse me anymore, I am scared of what I am turning into.

Have anyone been in my shoes before please I need help.



Modified: thanks to everyone that contributed each words you said have really been of help on the decision I am to take..... I went through every comment words for words for the past two night

I have decided to stay as the man God created me to be and not a sex pervert the devil want me to be....
I will try to leave my introvert lifestyle, go for deliverance and live a rededicated life like before.
I will also go on counseling sessions.( I will be glad if anyone can recommend a counselor)
I will also try to get a girl friend ( not for sexual desire)
I will have to go off internet / big phone to avoid watching porn.

I really appreciate you all.
I will do this to observe If there will be a change for the first six month.

If there isn't MAY GOD SAVE MY SOUL.