oyibo woman i go chop your dollar,i go carry your money disappear ,national airport na me get am,president na my sister bruver,i dey live for GREECE,i go BREAST FEED UR daughter,

yahoo yahoo!!!!!!!!!!! when will it end

when a woman is in love, a FOOL has been born Lips sealed

"

* The point of living and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come.

- Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)

Obviously, your heart is not open enough for you to optimistic or caring, but your mouth leaves no room for argument that you are a fool.

Thank you so much. No I don't take it to heart. I know the people I have met in person and a few online and they are very sweet, very loving people. People are people, no matter where they are from. Some are good and honest and some aren't. I hope you all had a great weekend!! I went and applied for my daughters passport today, first big step in getting there!!

Feelgood, thank you so much. I think you're quote says it all!!! Many blessings to you!

I appreciate the concern. But calling me a White Fat woman is uncalled for. One, you don't know what I look like, and Two you have no clue who I am.

I am white, and have said so. I'm not a malnourished model by any means, nor am I "fat". I am healthy. Either way, that should have NOTHING to do with who a person is on the inside, as the color of their skin should not either.

I have no problem with people giving me advice, I welcome it. I DO NOT think it is appropriate for the name calling, toward myself or toward other Nigerians. There are a few who have given me GREAT advice, and pointed me in the right direction. I have had contact with a few women who are in the position that I may be in. And they have been wonderful. Thank you!! You know who you are!!

As for him having another wife, I have asked him, and he says no. He is very devote Catholic and wants to be married in the Church and have it recognized by the Church. I really don't think he'd care where we got married if he was just looking for a "free ride". I am not jumping blindly, and would love to marry this man if he is for real. He is very sweet, devoted and caring. If he is not for real, it won't be the first time that's happened, but either way I'll have a great vacation.

I am an American woman who is in love with a wonderful man from Nigeria. He lives abroad, and we are going to see him in December. We have been good friends online/phone for over 5 years. He writes faithfully and sends birthday/holiday cards always. He wants to get married, and I can't wait. What I worry about is that I have a "mixed" daughter who is 5 years old and we are not sure where we should live. I just want to be with him, and be a good wife. However we must consider that in Greece, they only teach Greek in the schools, unless you want to pay ungodly amounts of money for private American schools. He has told me that Nigeria teaches English in the schools, so the language barrier would not be such an issue as in Greece. My daughter has wanted to go to Africa since she was 2 years old and he is teaching me Igbo. I only worry about how she will be treated there. Race has never been an issue here due to the diversity in cultures (especially in California) and she is a beautiful child (inside and out) and everyone who meets her, loves her. Any thoughts or advice would really be appreciated. I am new to this site, but a lot of the posting have really helped me. Thanks!!

This is my original post. Yes I want to marry him. I'm not going to go visit him and marry him the first day I meet him. I am being realistic, and maybe he will not want to marry me after he meets me in person (having nothing to do with my looks but with our personalities). Yes my other kids are white, because my ex-husband is white. We have been divorced for 13 years. I have only dated a few men seriously since then due to being a full time mother and working full time. I also know what a marriage means now (I was very young when I got married and had no clue) and will not marry unless it's for the rest of our lives. That and the few men I have dated end up not wanting to really settle down, or they want the "perfect woman" no kids, no baggage, etc. So I focus on my children.

My other children are grown and do not live with me, only my 5 year old does. She is my heart. I would die to protect her. This was all hypothetical and wanted to know how people in Nigeria felt toward mixed children, mixed relationships, as I do not know and do not KNOWINGLY want to put her into a life where people are RUDE to her due to being ignorant and racist.

Most of you seem like you try to confuse things and twist words to make your own ugly remarks either about your own countryman - his sincerity, character or other - or about making assumptions that I am a fat white woman?? What the hell? Now you ask why I'm getting defensive?? WOW

I'm blown away, there are a few on here who have stuck to the topic and answered me honestly and from their heart, good hearts. But the rest of you make me want to never go to Nigeria if all you know is how to hate each other and attack those around you. It is sad.

Yes, I was asked why he hadn't come here. He didn't want to, and quite frankly him being afraid had more to do with me than anything else, but I didn't want to get so personal on here.

He has said he will come visit, but I would prefer to come there. Up until lately I have viewed him as only a friend, and that is why he was afraid to come. Because he says he loves me and he knows it would be hard if he came here and I "blew him off". That is why he was afraid.

Our relationship in the last few months has grown stronger and he now has more faith in my feelings toward him being sincere. I think he was afraid to become too attached and get his heart broken.

As I have said, I have dated TWO other men since we met online, and he's been upfront about his feelings for me since after the first year we knew each other. It was very hard for him when I did this, even though I had told him we were just friends and I really did not think us ever meeting would be a reality. The doubts about his being genuine and not just someone who was trying to "scam" me took time to work through. Yes, he could still be trying to lie to me, but after 5 years and he could have easily found someone else. He has stayed faithful as a friend and as a man.

I have been praying for someone who would love me no matter what and stay by my side, and my eyes were finally opened that he has been here the whole time. So it may not work out, and we may not end up being a couple, but I have to see and know for sure. If God is giving me this man, who am I to turn away such a precious gift because of what "might" happen or what he "might" be lying about??

And as I said above, the question I was posting was how my daughter would be treated if we ended up moving there. I like to plan, and as this may happen in 6 months or 6 years or never, I want to make an educated decision.

I completely understand that, but what I was asking about is "hypothetically" if this works out, would Nigeria be a good place to bring my daughter.

Any man can lie, I've learned that, they can tell you anything they want. And they are always found out sooner or later. What worried me, is that I wouldn't want her looked down upon due to her being mixed if things did work out, if we moved there.

Either way, I'm going to Greece, first and foremost to have a good time and vacation with my daughter - something I have never done. I get to meet a friend who I've known online, by phone and by mail for 5 years. The relationship is not really the issue. If it works, it works, if not, her and I will travel to Africa someday soon, as she has a heart to go there. So all the rest of this is superfluous.

Thank you!!! I could not believe my eyes when I saw all that was written last night. First of all I said I had "dated" that was a total of 2 men, in 5 years. Not several,

As for the white and fat?? Yes I am white, very white, not that color should have anything to do with this, NOR am I "fat". I'm not a teenager, and I have had 4 kids, but also that has nothing to do with it. He has seen my pictures and he loves me as I am and thinks I'm beautiful.

I also know that inside beauty is more important and I am beautiful either way. Unlike some of the hearts that have spoken here. I will pray for your hearts to be softened.

Thank you Nikkysgirl for standing up for a sister, when I was not online to defend myself. It is most appreciated. And you are absolutely right when it comes to having a deeper understanding when the physical is not the center of the relationship. I know by the tone of his voice if he's had a good/bad day. I know when he is worried or upset. This is a man who stood for an hour and 15 minutes to use the pay phone to wish me happy birthday on a 3 minute call. He is very devoted as a friend and that has nothing to do with romance. Some of you could take a lesson!!!

Vulcan, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!

I hope you all have a great evening. I am off for the night. I look forward to chatting tomorrow. And Vulcan is right, a house divided cannot stand, and the forces that be do not care if Africa falls apart as a nation, and they don't care if the separate countries wage war and kill each other. You are all such beautiful people, don't let ANYONE tear you apart.

Good Night and God bless!!

Hardly, like I said, I'm no school girl. I am a single mom whose daughters biological father doesn't care enough to come meet her. That is heart break. Not having a relationship work, it is sad, but I'm not going to build all my hopes and dreams around a "maybe" , if things work out, PRAISE GOD, if not, we will remain friends.

I'd rather be blind than think I "see all" and be bitter and serious and no fun and die a shriveled up prune. LOL And I have no false unrealistic ideas, I'm going to meet him and go from there. Now if I went and married him while I was there, that would be foolish. Or if I sold everything and moved there first before meeting him. Heck, he may think I'm awful and spoiled and want nothing to do with me once we meet, LOL Even though I'm quite wonderful,

That is a long way to travel, and he has his reasons. I would not want to travel to the middle east, but we have clients who say a lot of what the media says does not happen. So who's to say. I am not afraid and he did say he would come out. But I'd rather travel there, I've never been to Europe and would LOVE to go. So that really isn't an issue.

He may be all he says he is, but there are people I know who have been married to the same person for years and don't really "know" them, and the entire relationship was false, if we live in fear, we might as well be dead. I'm not moving there yet, just visiting. And I've moved and lost it all before, to find out later that what you lose financially can always be rebuilt. So if he has lied and is not who he appears to be, then I'm out a couple grand, and I will have some great memories of another country and souvenirs for my friends and family. LOL

I have lived on both coasts of our country, and people in Philadelphia and New York are afraid to come to California due to earthquakes. And they are from here!! They only think California is Los Angeles, San Diego and San Francisco, I live in the rural mountains and have only felt 2 earthquakes and that was after I was already 27 years old. So that may not have anything to do with him being a fraud. He has his passport and work visa in Greece, I already know that. I sent him a birthday present and he had to go pick it up with his passport. Whether that means he's legal or illegal, it really doesn't matter to me. I live in California, we have so many illegal immigrants it's not funny, but they are just people trying to live. My daughters biological sperm donor won't come from the east coast to the west coast to meet his own daughter out of fear, so traveling across the ocean is bit farther. But I have always told him I'd come there,

Guess I'm being blonde, what is "it"?

I asked him to come, but he doesn't want to really. He said he's afraid to come over. I work for a Christian company and when I first met him, he acted surprised that we pray here. LOL I'm not sure what he has heard, but I have sent him pictures and he thinks it's beautiful.

I'm not going until after Christmas, so I have some time. Hopefully the fires will be out by then, or perhaps he will come here instead?? LOL I have dated men off and on during the last 5 years, as he and I were 'friends'. He was not happy about it, but has remained a faithful friend throughout this. When I moved to Los Angeles and it didn't work out, he took it upon himself to send me money. I did not ask for it, he just sent it. It took me this long to figure out that here I have the man I have prayed for, but have been going for the "jerks" instead. He may still end up being a jerk, but at least I will know, and not be asking myself later in life "what if?"

_ kenflipper_ I definitely will. I just love this, and am meeting some interesting people who are very helpful!! So I appreciate it all. If I didn't want to hear the good and bad, I would only ask people who I knew would tell me what I want to hear. So I appreciate both sides!!

Yes, I spoke with him this morning and he said the fires are very bad. It's been so hot there this summer and dry. It is sad that those people lost their lives because someone set those fires. I am praying for them.

I asked because I don't know to many people who are from Nigeria. That's why. If I was moving to Italy, I would ask Italians, and if I were moving to America, I would ask someone from the state/city where I am moving to. Every city is different, and every state is different. I would not move to a southern state in the US because my daughter is mixed and she would be looked down upon. I would not knowingly move somewhere where they would treat her like that. As a parent, it is my responsibility to find out. Especially in this day and age, where you have forums like this, and the internet, there is no excuse for ignorance.

Thanks Mamaput, I have learned quite a bit. Men are men, people are people, so I am hopeful this relationship is real, but I'm not jumping into it blindly or foolishly. I will enjoy my time in Greece, and hopefully get to know him better. Either way, a vacation in Greece would be heavenly, as long as it's not all burned to the ground by then. LOL

LOL Please Oh PLEASE don't judge me by my President, that is not only very ignorant but very judgemental!!! I do not judge or come to conclusions about any people because of

I am real. I have read some of the topics before, but had never thought of signing up and asking any questions. That's why I signed up, so I could ask this question. Is that wrong?? I am new to this.

Thank you Siena, although I still don't know what a "poster" is??

dremoney what is a "poster", I'm American, I live in northern California, so I'm not sure what you mean by my grammar not being correct? Should I say something more on the line of "dude!" or maybe "for sure!"?? LOL

Smiles, WOW!! I don't have a computer at home, so this morning when I read all this I am blown away!! As for why we've never met, he has wanted to, I have not. I have heard all the stories about Nigerians, and scams, greencards, etc. So I was a bit shy about meeting him. He has been up front about what he does, and it is not gun running. He also has been going to school there in Greece as well. He said he would come here, and meet my family but I want to go to Greece and take a vacation. I am 37 years old, and not some silly school girl. I am not "up and leaving" everything here. I am just first taking a step toward meeting him in person. I am going for a month as I can't see spending that sort of money only for a week (he is paying for half, since I want to come there). And I understand about his family. His mother will be 70 years old this year, so I would like to meet her before I don't have a chance, even if we were to just stay "friends". I thank you all for all the advice!! You're the best!!

Cathy,

Why do you say that? Is he abusive to you? We all take a chance with the men we date, in the US or abroad. That is why I'm going for a month, long enough for him to be himself, and myself as well. I hope you are happy, and if not what can you do to change your situation??

Great Article. I would agree that my man is very loving. He always tells us he loves us. He sends us birthday, christmas, valentine cards or just "I'm thinking of you" cards for no reason whatsoever. He is very affectionate and caring. He has already told me that he does not want me wearing 'sexy' clothes so other men would look at me, and that is not a problem for me. I'm a bit old fashioned I suppose.

As for the article, I highly disagree with what he says about western women not wanting the "whole" family. I would love to meet his mother and family. I want to make sure I know how to greet her respectfully and with honor. I would want her to like me and find me "worthy" of her son. She is much older, as he is the youngest of 9 children. I pray I will be able to meet her before her time here on Earth is over.

Everyone is so wonderful here, looking out for a girl!! He is not married, I know he has told him Mother and family about me. I have spoke with his brother when he went home for a visit. As for him looking to come to the US, he is not that interested. He loves Greece and wants to go back to Nigeria someday. I have physical pictures he's sent me of him in his apartment and when he traveled to Italy and visited the Cathedrals there. I know that he can be telling me anything I want to hear, that is why I'm going to stay for a month. Two weeks is too short for us to really get acquainted with each other, our habits, etc. I am a pain sometimes, I am used to being single and doing what I want, the way I want it. So he may not like me once we meet, LOL

But either way will be fun!!

Smiles, well I am taking her. I have worked full time since she was 3 months old. I am looking forward to spending some time with her. She is really looking forward to going and flying on the airplane. We will have our own place for the month, and I will keep her safe. But mostly looking forward to going shopping and seeing the sites (as long as they don't all burn away in the many fires they are having there) with her without having to work. I love this website NigerWives.com it is very helpful and informative. There is so much difference culturally, and I love that!!!! But I want to make sure, even going by myself, that I would not offend anyone by being ignorant of the customs.

Oh, and he is older than me by a few years. He has never been married and has no children. He loves my daughter very much and speaks to her on the phone and sends her cards and presents. Her own father she has never met, he was a bad man. But this man is very loving to her.

AWESOME!! Looking at the site now. I am in office administration, but work for a wonderful woman who helps train people to work from home. So I can always do that also. I know most people (men or women) would not just up and move, but I have a spirit that loves to find new places. My youngest is of the same spirit. My oldest child is 20, and out of the house, if I do move, I would want to do it before my 5 year old gets so old that she would not adjust easily.

Smiles, thanks!! I would only move for him if we got married. I am not foolish and not young. That is why I'm going to meet him and spend a month with him and see what happens after that. I think it's a great idea to move to Nigeria eventually, I would want to know some people there first. All my family is here, but if I knew people there, I would not be so lonely. Both my youngest daughter and I love to travel, so we'll go either way someday!! In the meantime, he is teaching me Igbo, and I am learning alot online, I love the internet!!