₦airaland Forum

Bra Types

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"

What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what the types were.

The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.

When you think about the differences between work and prison, maybe prison isn't so bad,
IN PRISON, You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK, You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON, You get three meals a day.
AT WORK, You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON, You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK, You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
IN PRISON, A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK, You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON, You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK, You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON, You get your own toilet.
AT WORK, You have to share.
IN PRISON, They allow your family and friends to visit.[color=#990000]
AT WORK, You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON, All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK, You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from you salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON, You spend most of your life looking through bars from inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK, You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON, There are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK, They are called supervisors.
in PRISON, You have unlimited time to read e-mail jokes.
AT WORK, You get fired if you get caught.[/color]

Nigeria Airways
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (hollar) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways.   We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the south. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with great pleasure; I announce that since starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Al Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seatbelt. For those of you who can’t find a seatbelt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat …and for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
Enjoy Nigeria Airways