₦airaland Forum

pls who is interested in buying bedspace in moremi...?

yeaah...whats happening

THE POLICE PREACHER
On Lagos-Ibadan express road, when a Pastor met a team of policemen who, quite
naturally, wanted 'something' from him. Since he was not prepared to
play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything
without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' pastor, they now
asked him to open the bonnet of his car.
A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that
letter 'U' was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter 'V'. That
was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle!"
Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offence, the pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer replied :"Please, leave that
pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a
Bible in your car, bring it."
The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered:
"Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me".
The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read:
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."
The man of God quietly made an "offering" of "just" N100 to his newly found "preacher".
''go in peace and argue no more", said the OC.

For your Sunday relaxation: A doctor made an advertisement of his new clinic: "Any treatment is
N10,000. If we cannot treat you, we will pay you N20,000."
Wanting to collect N20,000, Akpos comes to the doctor and says: "I can’t feel any taste."
The doctor asks a nurse to give him a few drops of medicine "from box 22."
Upon taking the drops, Akpos shouts: "Oh stop! It's urine!"
"Congratulations, your sense of taste is back now!" the doctor says.
Akpos is very angry at the loss of N10,000.
Two weeks later, he comes back with a new idea how to get N20,000.
"I lost my memory," he says to the doctor.
"Nurse! Please give this man some drops of medicine from box 22," the doctor oders.
Akpos shouts: "But wait, doctor! That medicine is for sense of
taste."
"Congratulations, your memory is back," the doctor replies.
Can you come up with an idea to outwit the doctor

A well-worn N1000 note and a similarly distressed N10 note arrived at the Central Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burnt, they struck up a conversation. The one thousand naira reminisced about its travels all over the country:

"I've had a pretty good life" the one thousand naira proclaimed. "I have been to Lagos, Ibadan, Benin, Kano, and Abuja. The finest restaurants in Victoria Island, Kaduna, Abuja and Eastern Nigeria. Performances at Muson Centre and Glover Hall, the hottest nite clubs all over the country and even a cruise on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans."

"WOW!" said the ten naira. "You've really had an exciting life!"

"So tell me, says the N1,000 note, "where have you been throughout your life time?"

The N10 note replies: "Oh, I've been to the ECWA Churches, Apostolic and Methodist Churches, the Redeemed Christian Church, the Deeper Life Bible church, Baptist Church, the C & S Church, CCC, the Lutheran Church, St Peter Catholic Church, etc."

The N1,000 note interrupts: "What is a church?"

"It's a place where believers in Jesus Christ gather to worship God in spirit and in truth", replied the ten naira note.

"My masters never took me to Church" lamented the N1,000 naira note.

So, please, please and please, take 1,000 naira notes to Church. They want to know Jesus too.

1 and 3...lol

Same thing...I mailed you already tho

Same thing...

Yeah I'm off social networks 4 now buh I come to unilag regularly tho

amen!Thank you

Oyinyioza could you pls mail me.

I'm off bbm now ooo

Adsonstone,
You know what...I'm tired of everything. Let HIS will be done

Adsonstone,

The HOD told me to get COC buh the form doesn't come out until after the Merit list which will contain my name by His grace and apart from that the courses available for change for art students last year are just European studies;Russian,Portuguese,History etc and those aint options for me.

Okay! Just curious tho

what course are you going for yungchop ?

Are you an aspirant Ashhascash?

Adsonstone my wassce subj are - English,Maths,Govt,Lit,Crs,Economics,Yoruba and Biology

Thank you adsonstone

But I know the head of Department for English and she was like my combo is wrong abi she does not know what she is saying and she wants to kill me...mtscheeeeew!

I know right...I don't even know what to do anymore

English,Govt,Literature,Economics

English,Govt,Literature and Economics

English but I have a wrong subj combo

So now I have to pray not to be on the merit list whilst some peeps are actually fasting and praying to be

But Art stidents don't really have courses now...as at last year the courses available were just European languages and some other courses sha

I need a miracle!!! I don't even know what to do

... I applied for English I have the wrong subject combination and I got 66.00%