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Hilarious Jokes - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Hilarious Jokes by Horliey(f): 1:21am On Aug 16, 2014
A well-worn N1000 note and a similarly distressed N10 note arrived at the Central Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burnt, they struck up a conversation. The one thousand naira reminisced about its travels all over the country:

"I've had a pretty good life" the one thousand naira proclaimed. "I have been to Lagos, Ibadan, Benin, Kano, and Abuja. The finest restaurants in Victoria Island, Kaduna, Abuja and Eastern Nigeria. Performances at Muson Centre and Glover Hall, the hottest nite clubs all over the country and even a cruise on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans."

"WOW!" said the ten naira. "You've really had an exciting life!"

"So tell me, says the N1,000 note, "where have you been throughout your life time?"

The N10 note replies: "Oh, I've been to the ECWA Churches, Apostolic and Methodist Churches, the Redeemed Christian Church, the Deeper Life Bible church, Baptist Church, the C & S Church, CCC, the Lutheran Church, St Peter Catholic Church, etc."

The N1,000 note interrupts: "What is a church?"

"It's a place where believers in Jesus Christ gather to worship God in spirit and in truth", replied the ten naira note.

"My masters never took me to Church" lamented the N1,000 naira note.

So, please, please and please, take 1,000 naira notes to Church. They want to know Jesus too.wink
Re: Hilarious Jokes by Horliey(f): 1:37am On Aug 16, 2014
On Lagos-Ibadan express road, when a Pastor met a team of policemen who, quite
naturally, wanted 'something' from him. Since he was not prepared to
play their games, they asked for his papers and having combed through everything
without any offence with which to nail the 'stubborn' pastor, they now
asked him to open the bonnet of his car.
A careful scrutiny of the engine number against what was on paper revealed that
letter 'U' was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter 'V'. That
was all the officer-in-charge needed to shout "stolen vehicle!"
Sensing trouble, even when he knew he committed no offence, the pastor called the OC to say he was a priest to which the officer replied :"Please, leave that
pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a
Bible in your car, bring it."
The Pastor did as was commanded after which the officer now ordered:
"Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me".
The incredulous Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read:
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."
The man of God quietly made an "offering" of "just" N100 to his newly found "preacher".
''go in peace and argue no more", said the OC.

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