₦airaland Forum

With the new premier league starting in just a week,here is your chance to show your true knowledge of the game,teams and players.
Me and a couple of friends have just created a league of ours strictly for naija people, Make we see who get mouth pass.

If you have a team already, here is the code below to join the league.We've named it "Naija Crews" and if you dont have a team,pls go to fantasy.premierleague.com and register.You have 100 million to build a team from Rooney,Drogba all the way down to Yakubu and Yobo,

Code to join: 993138-215138

We are looking forward to meet who the new champion is going to be by next year May lol,

Tonye-t:
Exactly what a pal just said in my office too. . . sometimes i wonder why they make NYSC so compulsory more especially when they were the ones who set limits to btw 21 - 29yrs, what do they expect the over-aged to do (like 30yrs who is still very young), especially when virtually no organisation today is ready to employ anyone without that certificate.

Although its bad, but I blame the system not the victims! ^{reminds me of the case of esteeming a BSc for a HND, who wouldnt do anything to get a place in university rather than the poly~}s  

lol, its been going on for years.I served in yobe and i had a guy sleeping in my room who came all the way from lagos to Yobe and he's not a corper.he borrowed our kits to take pics to send home.This are people who dont have the balls to tell them folks they have been expelled/did not graduate cos the amount of money they'v milked from home.
Ultimately after the orientation camp,they will all go home and tell peeps in the areas they have runx it, so they dont need to stay after orientation camp, and buy a fake cert. after 12 months of fooling emselves,

tpiah:
if you're irresistable, she'll be all over you.

so try to be irresistable. Also, help out around the house if the housework is a load.


you can also go with the babyish advice of mobo444 and other jumpin' johnnys, if that's your style.

Its not a matter of been irresistible, What we need ask the poster is their individual age, Women tend to reach their libido height between 25 and 45 while men's last till 60.She just doesn't feel the urge like she use to and she is not trying.
At this age for women,they give it to their men to keep him in tow "most time" and not cos they are gagging for it.
I think your wife thinks you're going no where,thats the reason why she cant be bovered,

U need hit the street man, so many things we do for our wife not cos we want to but cos we want to make em happy, so u should expect the same from your wife,

~Borat~:
Lai-Lai This one no work o. . . lai lai
horwah no code for you. . .unless you can raise up to 500+ post before the start of the season. . .
NO CODE FOR YOU!!!

you don late,
your parol no dey work again, lol

tkb417:
^^^
was kidding bro

if u read backwards, u'll see how i harass new entrants

i no vex, so no vex

no mind my approach, na Mushin i grow up

eldee will answer your request when he comes here

Kai!!see fipa, i dey always fall this kind prank ni sha, makes me remember when i enter JSS 1 wey my fellow JSS1 student send me go buy yoghurt,i run go come back ni all because them don prep me say ya seniors go beat u if u no go on errand,


NIce one, lol,

omo memory lane
I ride tyre die,my tyre na Bridgestone,i still remeber am, e no get any pattern,e don chop finish,twas the best tyre that time, we dey do inter street racing, i dey always come 1st ni sha,
na so bois from other street come steal my tyre .i cry ehn,

i no vex but ur manner of approach no reach bar, e get how them dey talk to peeps, not like "We no know you",
this is a public forum,isnt it?,

I no vex o,

who u come be?, Ibime and Eldee P.A?
na u be them doorman then,

cos i no understand why u took it personal, all i did was ask for code, i have like 6-7 different leagues on my fantasy team,i just wan add nairaland peeps league, thats all,

No vex again bro,

tkb417:
u didnt come early

besides, we no sabi u

no vex o,

tkb417:
duh!

code is finished

what u mean code is finished lol, na one code everybody dey use now,

Studio CFR:
Stale gist'

stale or no stale, you can never go wrong with a laugh, and jokes are never stale

elowa:
eldee,
My application hasn't been considered yet by yor office (make i hype u small)
looking forward to a favourable response.

Catalan FC

Hi Eldee,abeg i need the code o, na me win last year for my office and i sure go win this nairalanders one lol,
my team is all set up,just need the code,
my email is horwarh@gmail.com.

An Irish daughter had not been home for five years. Upon her return, her
Father shouted at her: 'where have you been all these years? Why didn’t you
call? Do you know what your mum and I went through?

The girl crying replied 'Dad I became a prostitute.' You what? ''Out of
here you shameless sinner. You are a disgrace to the family''

''Okay dad, as you wish'' she said. I just came to give mum this
luxurious fur coat, keys to a ten bedroom mansion, and a $5million savings
certificate.

For you my little brother, this gold Rolex and for you dad, the sparkling
new edition Mercedes limited edition convertible that is parked outside. I
also have an invitation for you to spend New year on board my new yacht in
the Riviera and, , ,

Now, shouted her dad, ''what is it you said you had become?
The girl started crying again, prostitute dad!

Oh Jesus, you scared me, I thought you said you had become a PROTESTANT!!
Come here and give your old man a big hug.

Husband Writes to wife:

Dearest Sweetheart

I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100
kisses.
You are my sweetheart.

Your caring and loving husband,

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest Sweetheart:

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses
details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's
milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. The landlord comes every day and takes two or three
kisses instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I
have given him some other items, ?
5. Other expenses 40 kisses.
Please don't worry about me, I have a remaining
balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the
month using this balance.

Shall I plan in the same way for next month?

Please Advise!!!

Your faithful wife

The Tragedy of Men,

Thought 1

When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and
the flowers.

When we are married, our brides get the presents and
the publicity.

When we die, our widows get the life insurance.

What do women want to be liberated from



Thought 2

The average man's life consists of:

Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,

Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end,

the mourners wondering too.



Thought 3

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice
from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will
fall down on your head and kill you."

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of
him.

The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross
the road.

Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If
you take one more step a car will run you over, and
you will die."

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came
careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you
when I got married?"



Thought 4

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the
radiant bride as her father escorted her down the
aisle to give away to groom.

>They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the
bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his
hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to
the father by bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all
eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say
something.

So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the
luckiest day of my life.

Then he raises his hands with what his daughter gave
him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally
returned my credit card to me."

The whole audience including priest started laughing
but not the poor groom.

A Guy was sitting outside his home after a bitter divorce & noticed a crate of Beer Bottles.

He takes out an Empty bottle, smashing it into the wall swearing, "You are the reason I dont have a Wife".

Smashes 2nd Bottle "You are the reason I dont have my Children".

Smashes 3rd Bottle, "You are the reason I dont have a Job".


Notices 4th Bottle is Sealed and still full of Beer,


"Stand aside my Friend. I know you were not Involved!

Its not peculiar to Nigeria only.I live in the UK and i get baffled at how an average british struggles with gadgets too,

I think it all boils down to how enthusiastic people are about gadgets, some people just don really care about gadgets as long as lagers are still sold in pubs,
gagdget can take the back seat,

my wife is a nurse and i still teach her daily how to use her iphone,

You dont need a provider, all you need is dial this no 08444289090, they charge me 4p to any mobile in Nigeria.i dont even buy all those cards anymore,

bloody hell!!!.if a man in the obscurity judicial institute can steal 6.5 Billion,how much will staffs in the presidency be stealing?>

manneger:
Wetin dey hapeppen here naija no win a single thing na waao

we win silver, lol

sometimes i wish we had not won the Olympics 96, this experience has fooled us into believing we can just go into tournaments a day or 2 before with no preparation and beat everyone else,
we reap what we sow as simple as that,

Nigerian always expects miracle all the time,this are german team that play in a well structured lague with physios and all that, on paper them suppose trash us big tym.
Those girls try,
Its not every day the fact the we are nigerians works for us against better prepared team,

them still try, no one expected them to go this far,

anyone see the save the goalie just made now,

this girls no go score today, them don try anyways

Supersports has regained the right to transmit all the premier league games for season 10/11.
Hitv has not done a world of good for people clamoring for "Nigeria been run by Nigerians".
I for one is happy as i don't care who provide what as long as i get quality service.
how will HiTV attract new customers or retain old ones now?.

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art201007233483326