₦airaland Forum

I sincerely appreciate you guys. I took the good advise and suggestions and it is working. It is the 4th day after I tried out somethings and it is working. Inhabe had dinner before 7pm for 4 straight days. I know my wife isnt going back to night meals. We are happy and for the 4th day, it has been romatic evenings. Thanks N.landers

I kniw how you feel. Yet , I will say congrats. The good Lord knows it all.

yetseyi:
Sorry OP, from what your posts she's not Lazy, it's a family habit which can be quite difficult to change simply because she doesn't really see whats wrong with eating past 9pm. I would have thought 6 years is enough to adjust sha.

I stayed with a family like that too, these people can eat by 11pm, me that latest 7.30pm I have eaten most times except I come late.This family can sleep by 1am, when me I am alreadt sleeping for hours. The first time I tried eating at their time it seemed the food didn't digest. Different families have different way they do things I have also seen someone that said if she eats the time I eat she will be hungry overnight lool.

Make her see the disadvantages of eating late, especially for the children if they eat past 9 when will they sleep? Let her know you appreciate her and all she does for the family BUT you don't like the timing. You can start with saying you would like dinner to be ready by 6.0pm and see how it goes hopefully she will settle around.7-7.15 permanently.

By the way does she cook soup every blessed day? Or is it every day you guys eat soup based meal?
Rice can be ready in 30 mins. Soup should be able to last 3 days even without freezer. She can cook soups that will last a week and freeze naaw. Once its 6pm she just warms and prepare the swallow to accompany.

She doesnt cook food everyday. When she knows she isngoing to make a meal that wont take much of her time, then she will not start early at all. Even when i remind her that it is getting late, she will tell me something like "Is it not just to make eba" but when she eventually gets into the kitchen she starts doing other things. Maybe that is when she will realise the kids will not eat eba and start frying plantain for them, or she will tell me she checked the soup and found there is no "Kpomo" or fish again because I dont like beef. Then she will start making jollof rice or something. She actually does a lot of things to make me happy. The timing is what I am not comfortable with. I have told her many a time she doesnt have respect for time. Anytime we have to get ready together and go out, I will tell her to start getting ready 2hrs before the time. She doesnt even make up. But we will still get to the place late. I go angry to church every sunday because even if she wakes up by 6am for a service of 9:30am, we still get to church late. I dont know what to do anymore. Whenever i talk to her, she makes adjustment for only few days and she is back to her old self. In the area of food, I feel I will make her feel bad if I start eating out but I dont know how to remedy this I am in. I will not forget to mention that she is a very nice wife and mother and very respectful. My family and friends like her. But this shortcoming of not respecting time is what I dont like. And you should all know that a woman who doesnt have respect for time is very untidy. And of course she is. I actually knew all these before I married her but I thought I can work on her and change these about her. Is this a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life because she doesnt compliment me the area of tideness and being timely. She scores Zero in being clean and timely. I employed someone who comes to clean my house everyday and wash too. I will not fail to mention that I still love her and she loves me with her life. She is very LOYAL, Caring, pretty, kindhearted and receptive. Family and friends enjoy her company. If she is not around, they misses her. I wish she can make little adjustment in these two areas of respecting time and being clean. There is nothing to write home about her in these two areas. I am always angry.

Onegai:
Why does it take 5 hours to make a pot of vegetable soup That's weird...

She's not really planning her time well. Start with washing and cooking the meats/fish, then you pick veggies and wash and cut (and don't over wash them, some salt in the first wash and the 2nd wash and it's good and for waterleaf tear it up with your hands because it shrivels in the pot), by the time the meat is boiled, she's ready or almost ready with the veggies and one should not be boiling any leafy veggies for more than 20 mins. It should be crisp and not soggy or you're wasting your time about the nutrients.

And all that isn't a 5 hour job. Making stew takes longer. Or jollof rice. Fried rice yeah, casseroles definitely. But basic vegetable soup, nope and even then you figure out a faster method, except for fried rice, that thing is punishment. Or is she on the phone, you said you help the kids out with baths and homework, but do they have to go and meet her constantly for everything else?

Can you buy food and Indomie it for a week and just say nothing and go to bed on time? Let's see what happens.

She is good at putting off the cooker or reduce it in the process of cooking. I don't know why. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen and increase it. I have visited her family house and this is the same thing there. Breakfast is 11am in her family house. The annoying part is that you see her mom busy in the kitchen but the food is never out. The few times I slept in her family house, her mom wakes me up at night to say dinner is ready and she apologies for being late. I have watched my wife's mother cook. Sometimes I see her put off the cooker too. Washes plates and clean the kitchen up to 5 times before she finishes cooking. I don't really know how to work on my wife. This whole thing is affecting my kids too because they have to stay awake to eat before they go to bed. The worse part is that myself and my wife don't eat together most times because at the time she dishes my food, she goes back to kitchen to clean up. Sometimes when I wake up by 12 midnight or past twice, I see her in the parlor eating and watching Nigeria movie. Many times I force her to bed because she can actually stay awake till 1am

Thanks. I will try this.

bennyrazz:
you have said you gave her stern warning that once your food pass 7pm you would not eat. Give her the ultimatum and stick to it. No matter how it is, when she prepares the food and she is serving you and it's already pass 7:30, do not eat no matter the persuasion. Get bread and butter and eat. When you make a decision stick to it. It will make your wife know that you are serious

Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.

I'm in Edo now and they are not happy with this 11th hour decision. From what I notice here, if the election is free and fair, the PDP candidate will win. Even though some quarters says Oshiomole did well as a Governor, but they are not comfortable with the personality of the APC candidate.