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How we handle failure is critical. An achiever acquires confidence and pride by taking on challenging life goals, by using good models and methods for getting there, and by putting in the time and effort to make the accomplishments meaningful. In contrast, a low achiever, preoccupied with avoiding failure, will either choose an extremely easy task or a very difficult one. Neither task puts him or her to a test.
The achiever is mastery-oriented, the low achiever is performance-oriented, that is, he or she is most concerned with avoiding failure and looking good, not with learning or mastery. In contrast, the mastery-oriented person welcomes tough challenges because he or she is most concerned with learning something worthwhile, not building an image. After a failure, such a person would say, Okay, I did not win but what a learning experience. I will practice another approach and then try again.
To the extent that more effort and learning better skills would significantly improve our performance, it is important to take control of the situation, rather than blaming our poor performance on factors that are not under our control. In short, to manage our life we have to take responsibility for it(take charge). It is the reason we give ourselves for the failure that determines how we feel:

Most failures do not prove a lack of ability, they reflect a lack of effort or learnable skill. In most areas we will never know our limits because we will never push ourselves to the limit. It is obvious that some of the reasons above are excuses for our failures. Self-handicapping is a similar process, except it occurs before the performance rather than after. Common excuses arranged in advance for a poor performance are: I am very tired, sick, drunk, anxious, unprepared and so on.
Self-handicapping excuses do reduce some immediate anxiety and disappointment after failure, but in the long run they usually lower our self-esteem and increase our fears. Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves, expecting too much, and sometimes too easy, not expecting or trying to do our best. You may be too uptight about achieving your dreams, you might not be uptight enough to achieve them. Ideally, one would be inspired by his or her ambitions and visions of the future, but down-to-earth enough to accept (for the moment) whatever he or she actually accomplishes. All of us need to ask, How can I do better? It reminds you that you are in control and do not have to do poorly.
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
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