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Jokes Etc / For The Canadians On IM by indyspeak: 6:27am On Feb 28, 2015
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, ‘Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona .’ The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, ‘I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.’ The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, ‘I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.’ He gets it.

The guy from Molson Canadian sits down and says, ‘Give me a Coke.’ The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, ‘Why aren’t you drinking a Molson’s?’

The Molson Canadian president replies, ‘Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.’

Read more funny jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/santa-banta.jsp
Jokes Etc / Funny Jokes by indyspeak: 1:10pm On Feb 27, 2015
Four sardars wanted to open an auto repair shop. They bought the best car servicing equipment and soon inaugurated the repair shop. They all waited eagerly on the inaugural day; but no customer arrived. A couple of days passed, there were no cars that came in for repairs. A week, then a month went by, there were no cars. After all, how could cars come in, the sardars had put up their garage on the second floor.

Read more funny jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Two Meanings Of Fear by indyspeak: 1:59pm On Feb 26, 2015
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FEAR has two meanings :

F - Forget
E - Everything
A - And
R - Run

OR ...

F - Face
E - Everything
A - And
R - Rise

The Choice is YOURS ... !!!
Read more jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/girlfriend-boyfriend.jsp
Jokes Etc / Santa In Computer Exam by indyspeak: 1:53pm On Feb 25, 2015
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Santa in computer exam-;

Examiner: What is Microsoft Excel ??

.

Santa: It is a new branch of Surf Excel to clean the Computer..!!

Read more jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/girlfriend-boyfriend.jsp
Jokes Etc / Punch Of The Day by indyspeak: 7:35am On Feb 24, 2015
Once A Man Asked God
Why all girls are so cute & sweet
And all wifes are always angry?

God answered : Girls are made by me…
And you make them wife’s!!!

Read more Funny jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/alia-bhatt-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Dad I Got Punished by indyspeak: 6:58am On Feb 21, 2015
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Son: Dad I got punished in school today.
Dad: Why?
Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me Saying.. At the end of scale there is an Idiot” I Just asked “which end”…?

Read More Funny Jokes: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/girlfriend-boyfriend.jsp
Jokes Etc / 5 Star Hotel by indyspeak: 5:41am On Feb 20, 2015
PAPPU Found Rs. 100/-

He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For Dinner...

Bill Rs. 3000/-

He Was Unable To Pay!!

Manager Handed Him To Police!!

He Gave Rs. 100/ - To Policeman & Free!!

Its Called FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT, Without MBA....

Read more latest jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Santa In ICU by indyspeak: 8:25am On Feb 18, 2015
A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.

Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali."

The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi."

This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta."

Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana."

Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit."

Replied the other, "Santa."

A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer."

Santa responded, "Sagittarius."

Read more funny Jokes: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/santa-banta.jsp
Jokes Etc / Wife Ki Nakal by indyspeak: 6:58am On Feb 16, 2015
Wife: Khana kha liya?
Husband: Khana kha liya?

Wife: Batao na.
Husband: Batao na.

Wife: Please... batao na.
Husband: Please..... batao na.

Wife: Achcha ji! Meri nakal?
Husband: Achcha ji! Meri nakal?

Wife: I Love U!!!
Husband: Haan yaar, khana kha liya maine...

Read more jokes: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Head Of The Family by indyspeak: 11:11am On Feb 14, 2015
It is said that Husband is the head of the family,

But

Remember that wife is the Neck of the family.

& the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants.

Read more jokes: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / New Generation Wedding by indyspeak: 5:43am On Feb 12, 2015
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New Generation Wedding

Priest: Do you agree to change your Facebook Status from Single To Married?

Boy: Yes!

Girl: Yes!

Priest: Congratulations !! Your profile has been updated successfully.
You are now Husband and Wife.
You May now upload your wedding pictures and don’t forget to “Tag Me”

Read more Husband Wife Jokes At: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Class Room by indyspeak: 7:30am On Feb 11, 2015
Class Room is Like a Train.
.
.

1st Two Benches r Reserved For VIP

Next Two Benches r General coach
.

Then
.

Last Two Benches r Very Demanded.
.
.
Bcz Its. "SLEEPER COACH."

Read more jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/girlfriend-boyfriend.jsp
Jokes Etc / My Computer by indyspeak: 10:20am On Feb 10, 2015
Pappu rings a technical support:

My internet is not working properly
Officer: Ok ,Double click on "My computer"
Pappu: I can't see ur computer
Officer:No no, click on "My computer" on ur computer
Pappu: How can I click on your computer from my computer?
Officer: listen , There is an icon labelled "My computer" on your computer
Ok ,double click on it
Pappu: what the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?
Officer: Double click on ur computer
Pappu: On which Icon i've to click
Officer: "My computer"
Pappu: Oh Teri……Pagal insaan
Tell me where is ur office. I'll come there and
click on ur "Computer."?

Read more jokes: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Bad Luck by indyspeak: 7:32am On Feb 10, 2015
embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed
Bad Luck

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

Read more latest jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Expiry Date by indyspeak: 8:47am On Feb 09, 2015
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Expiry Date
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour ...??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

Read more latest Husband wife jokes At: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Girl Failed In English Exam by indyspeak: 8:37am On Feb 06, 2015
Girl failed in english exam
shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked

Boy :- I heared you failed in english ?
.
.
Girl :- who telled you ?
it is unpossible ..
i sawed the result yesterday , i passed
away"
Boy :- ok bye !!
Girl :- bye bye ..god blast you

Read more jokes: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / You Have Came Again by indyspeak: 6:59am On Feb 05, 2015
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You Have Came Again

Santa : People consider me as a “GOD”.

Banta : How do you know??

Santa : When I went to the Park today,

Everybody said,“Oh GOD ! U have came again”.

Read latest Santa Banta jokes At: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/santa-banta.jsp
Jokes Etc / Zindagi Ki Kitab by indyspeak: 5:46pm On Feb 04, 2015
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Zindagi Ki Kitab

Wife 2 Husband : Main Tumhari zindagi Ki Kitab Hu.

Husband: Bus Yahi to Afsos Hai.

Calendar Hoti to Har Saal Change to Kar Leta.

Get more Husband Wife Jokes At: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Husband And Wife by indyspeak: 6:30am On Feb 04, 2015
cool cool cool cool cool cool cool
Husband and Wife

Husband asks: Do u know the meaning of wife?
'Without Infomation Fighting Everytime'.
Wife on hearing replies,
It also means 'With Idiot For Ever'.

Get more Husband wife Jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / App For Husbands by indyspeak: 6:43pm On Feb 03, 2015
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App for husbands

After massive demands from all husbands……….
A new app called
“Darr”;
is launched for iPhone and Android
You just say..
‘Wife’..
and it closes all websites,
hides all chats,
Shuts down all games,
hide all special folders
and best of all..
puts your wife’s photograph as a wallpaper.

Get More Husband wife Jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Boy On Date In Restaurant by indyspeak: 6:58am On Feb 03, 2015
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Boy on date in restaurant

Boy on date in Restaurant

Boy : Jaan tum se ek baat kehna chahta hun...

Girl : Kya...??

Boy : I already have a girl friend...

Girl : Dara diya saale, mujhe laga paise nai hai... Read More: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/girlfriend-boyfriend.jsp
Jokes Etc / Paying The Bill Your Dad by indyspeak: 8:28am On Feb 02, 2015
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Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill.......

Funniest Jokes at: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Husband At Home by indyspeak: 7:28am On Jan 31, 2015
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Phone rings at night…..
Husband : If its for me, then say I am not at home!
Wife (on phone) : He is at home…
Husband (in anger) : What the HELL??
Wife : SHUT UP, It was for ME.

Read latest jokes: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / American Attacked By Afgani by indyspeak: 6:01am On Jan 29, 2015
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American attacked by Afgani

An Afganistani boy took admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?

Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny

from today.

Boy went home and mom asked: How was the day Nadir?

Boy : I am an American now, call me Johnny.

Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up.

Next day he was back to school all bruised ...

Teacher : What happened Johnny ?

Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American,

I was attacked by two Afganistani terrorists ...

Read more: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/santa-banta.jsp

1 Like

Jokes Etc / What Is GENERATION GAP by indyspeak: 7:31am On Jan 28, 2015
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Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.

Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.

Surprisingly both are correct…!!!

Read more jokes like this one at:http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Where Do I Keep Money by indyspeak: 6:23am On Jan 24, 2015
Wife: Wherever I keep the money our son steals it. I don't know what to do about it, where do I keep money?

Husband: Keep it in his books. He never touches them.

More at :http://www.indyaspeak.com

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Hahahaha... Husband At Home by indyspeak: 7:35am On Jan 22, 2015
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Hahahaha... Husband at home

Phone rings at night…..
Husband : If its for me, then say I am not at home!
Wife (on phone) : He is at home…
Husband (in anger) : What the HELL??
Wife : SHUT UP, It was for ME.

Read more:http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / App For Husbands, Protects Them From Wife by indyspeak: 11:21am On Jan 21, 2015
After massive demands from all husbands……….

A new app called
“Darr”
is launched for iPhone and Android

You just say..
‘Wife’..
and it closes all websites,
hides all chats,
Shuts down all games,
hide all special folders

and best of all..
puts your wife’s photograph as a wallpaper.

Get more jokes: http://www.indyaspeak.com/jokes/husband-wife-jokes.jsp
Jokes Etc / Funny Jokes by indyspeak: 8:48am On Jan 20, 2015
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Alia Bhatt and Mahesh Bhatt

Alia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend?

Mahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns

Alia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha?

Mahesh bhatt: jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe jaa!!!!
Jokes Etc / Samajdar Wife by indyspeak: 6:55am On Jan 16, 2015
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Wife: Aapki Blue Shirt Mujh
Se Jal Gayi.!!

Husband: Mere Paas Waisi Ek
Aur Shirt Hai.!!

Wife: Pata Hai,
Maine Usme Se Kapda Kaat Ke
Pehle Wali Me Laga Diya Hai.!!
Jokes Etc / Alia Bhatt Jokes by indyspeak: 10:44am On Jan 15, 2015
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Alia Bhatt Jokes with Aamir Khan and Mahesh Bhatt

Aamir Khan: How did India get Independence?
Alia: When you hit a six against England! (Lagaan)…. :-D
----
Mahesh Bhatt: Beti, Vote dene chalein?
Alia Bhatt: Papa aap missed call karke bhi vote de sakte hain, Maine kal DID mein dekha tha…!!!
Beti Rocked, Papa Shocked....

1 Like

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