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sorry its tall... its just to get the details

No doubt about that brov

These are some of the ways parents can teach their children self-discipline skills.

1. Lead By Example.

A good parent would lead by showing good example. You have to practice what you preach, it shows that self-discipline is important to you. Maybe you and your family are saving for a vacation to Obudu cattle ranch and your kids asks you to bring home fast food, remind them of the family goal, put the money in your savings jar and cook at home. Denying yourself in front of them will help them see what self-discipline looks like and the reward of reaching set goals.

2. Set Down Few Rules.

Start with only few rules, remember they are children, the more rules you set, the more difficult it would be for them to remember. Start with morning routine, which includes brushing their teeth, bathing, combing their hair, and saying thank you after every meal. After they have mastered the morning routine, you can teach them afternoon and bedtime routine. Set a bedtime, develop a routine which covers all the necessary bedtime tasks and work at getting your child to stay in bed without Mom or Dad falling asleep in the room. Basically, the first rules to set are those things they will be doing daily and after establishing these rules, parents should make their child understand the consequences of breaking them. This teaches kids what to expect and they will be better equipped to make healthy choices.

3. Be Consistent.

Now that you have set down rules, you have to be consistent with the manner you discipline your child. A well-established and understood set of rules with defined consequences tend to work the best. If one time your child uses an offensive word at home, you just laughed, and the next time (perhaps in company of friends or neighbors) you impose a punishment or other choice, the child will become confused and not know what is expected. Being consistent in child discipline is the best way to teach them what is or is not an acceptable behavior.

4. Do Not Bribe Kids.

Use Consequences I was at shop-rite some weeks ago, when a parent picked up a candy bar and gave her child that was throwing tantrums because she wanted one. It seemed harmless, but if parents give in to such demands time after time, knowing that it is not good, the child is taught to satisfy her desires by reward. Bribing teaches a child that they get a reward if they act inappropriately first, and then change their behaviour. But we want them to act appropriately the first time, therefore praise them when they act right, give them more attention, and you can also give them rewards for acting right (a new toy/dress). Children do best when they receive immediate feedback or consequences for their positive and negative behaviours. Consequences should be used to discipline your child without shaming.

5. Teach Your Child Contentment.

Our society is changing day by day. Teach your child to be satisfied with what they have. Our children will see new toys with their friends and want to have the same, regardless of your family income or attitude. It is our responsibility to teach them that they can not have everything, rather teach them to focus less on what other people have and more on preserving and cherishing what they have. Contentment results in waiting, waiting helps children learn self-control. It teaches them that others have needs too. Playing with friends also offers many opportunities to help your child learn to wait, to share, and to take-turns. With your guidance and lots of practice, your child will be well equipped to work out conflicts with his school pals or classmates.

6. Teach Your Child to Pray Prayer is a basic foundation of a Christian’s relationship with God.

For those of us that are not Christians, teach them to believe in something. My work is not to judge anyone but to make us have reverence for the maker and creator of the universe. If you are not a Christian, teach them to respect the religion or beliefs of their classmates, neighbour or teachers as the case maybe. Children need to know early in their lives that they can talk to God just like they talk to Mommy, Daddy, or a best friend. They need to understand that God is there and attentive to what they have to say.

These are some of the basic ways to teach our children discipline. I am sure every parent wants their children to be happy, respectful, respected by others, and able to find their place in the world as well-behaved adults. Nobody wants to be accused of raising a spoiled brat. However, this would require work on our part as parents but will pay off tremendously in the end.

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“Tall, dark and handsome”, is usually the response you get when you ask a lady what she wants In a man. Unfortunately, cupid is no respecter of wishes. You get what you get. The heart wants what it wants right? This usually isn’t a bad thing. This is because if he isn’t dark, light skinned; boys are perceived to be incredibly cute too. If he isn’t handsome, well, we all know money can clean a guy up real good. Just recollect 50 cent, the rapper when he began and what he looks like now. Finally, as a girl, how hard would it be for you to find a man that is taller than you? Yeah, like 50 years ago! Thanks to our genes and DNA evolution, women are getting taller (the average height being dangerously close to 6ft), and seems like the men have reached the height of their evolution (pun intended).

With women being so tall these days and most men being on the …. Well, average side. It makes picking your ideal man harder. As a tall girl, I guarantee that by the age of 25 you would have dated at least one guy that is about 2-3 inches shorter than you. This is not an article to “boo-hoo” over the fact that you are tall, neither is it the avenue for you to wallow in misery of being surrounded by short men. If cupid struck you with the love arrow and pinned you down to a short guy, there are some guidelines you should know.

First off:

Your height is gorgeous! We tall girls have spent the whole of our high school years and some after, being teased for being “too tall”. As we have matured into beautiful young ladies, eligible to start dating, we have embraced our height and have seen it is actually something of envy amongst other women and men. As a kid you would think it’s a bad thing because you always stand out, when all you want to do is fit in. You can’t possibly hate being tall; at least just for reasons like you can reach the top shelf and have extremely sexy long legs. Now that we have established that your height is beautiful and it’s what everybody wants, you have to understand that your short lover had the opposite experience growing up.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but there are lots of cute short boys. They probably were one of the popular kids in high school; being cute and all (just like puppies). They never stood out for awkward reasons and everything they did was adorable and dreamy. But enter senior year/ matric/SS3 whatever you may know it as, the short boys realize they are not growing as much as some others. The girls start drifting towards the more “caveman manly” types, the ones that look like they can protect them, the ones that stand out from the crowd, the ones that make her feel small and dainty. Since the biological and spiritual purpose of a man is to win an adequate mate, provide, profess, and protect (all that manly stuff); there on lies the beginning of the formation of the “Napoleon complex” also known as “short man syndrome”.

NAPOLEON COMPLEX IS A PEJORATIVE TERM DESCRIBING A DIS-PROVEN PSYCHOLOGICAL CONDITION THAT IS SAID TO EXIST IN PEOPLE, BOTH MEN AND WOMEN, OF SHORT STATURE. IT IS CHARACTERIZED BY OVER-AGGRESSIVE OR DOMINEERING SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR, AND CARRIES THE IMPLICATION THAT SUCH BEHAVIOUR IS COMPENSATORY FOR THE SUBJECT STATURE. THE TERM IS ALSO USED MORE GENERICALLY TO DESCRIBE PEOPLE WHO ARE DRIVEN BY A PERCEIVED HANDICAP TO OVER COMPENSATE IN OTHER ASPECTS OF THEIR LIVES. [WIKIPEDIA 2015]

There you have it. So you love a short guy, and a short guy loves you. You may be having some problems with your relationship; but my dear, it’s not all you. Dating a short guy is dating a different breed of men. They are delicate and view the world as looking down on them because of their lack of height, meanwhile it is just their angle (another pun intended). Dating a short guy is like playing polo in a mine field. One wrong move and everything comes tumbling down. It’s really not their fault; it’s just psychology affected by biology. So here are some guidelines when it comes to tall ladies dating short men.

Do not emasculate him.

All men have an ego, but those of short men seem to be a tad bit more fragile. So, be gentle! No matter how you play it, a tall, smart beautiful girl would be intimidating to anyone, whether tall or short, male or female. You have to be careful not to bruise his ego. Make sure you always make him feel like the man. If you need some heavy lifting done, or your light bulb changed; though you can do it yourself, ask him for help from time to time. This would always make him feel like he can still protect you, provide for you, and take care of you. Do not intentionally disrespect him. Some of us girls tend to go a little crazy with drama; a short guy would give you drama back!! This is because he feels the need to regain his position (back on top). Disrespecting him would make him feel he is not the alpha in the relationship or like his opinion is not heard, thus not valued. Such things do not really faze regular people, but do remember I said you are dealing with a different breed of men!!

Communication is key.

For some odd reason, short men tend to get jealous real fast. A regular text message at the wrong time or place can turn a good day sour. When dealing with short men, remember you are trying to change a psyche that they have had since their late adolescence. Patience is the key!! You need to be very honest and keep the lines of communication open and steady. After a while, he would be conditioned to understand, there is really no reason to be getting so jealous all the time and over little things. No secrets with these ones!!

Invest in flat shoes / sandals.

Most short guys are actually attracted to tall girls. I don’t know why. Opposites attract maybe? Nevertheless, no matter how sexy and long he says your legs look when you are in heels, honestly he doesn’t want you in 4-inch heels all the time!! He is trying to bridge the gap by compensating in other ways, and rubbing the height difference in his face whenever you go out on a date is a “no no”. Invest in some cool new flats or sandals. Don’t roll your eyes. They don’t always make you look like a school teacher; there are some cool trendy styles. Besides, you got to make sacrifices in a relationship, even vertical accentuating sacrifices. Hey, you can’t help who you love!

Best dressed.

Endeavour to always look good when going out together. If your man doesn’t know how to dress, teach him. Dressing well allows for his body frame an image of extension. Consult a stylist if you have to. No need for him looking shorter than he already is because he cannot put together a stellar outfit. If your man does know how to dress however, make sure you get on the same style page as him. That way when you go out in public, looking good distracts the eyes and always makes the height difference quite excusable.

Finally, Date the right man.

No advice or guidelines in the world would work if you are not dating the right man. Napoleon complex is not an excuse to being a bad partner. It’s a state of mind that can be changed, with patience and love. Look ladies, I know I said patience, but do not grow old there!! If you have handled the relationship the best way you can, there is no need for you to keep trying if you are not penetrating his psyche. The complex makes it hard to have a shift in his school of thought. If you are dating the right man however, getting through to him should not be a battlefield for too long. He would endeavour to adjust his complex problems, so as to love you better.

Basically patience is important, but do not lose your self-respect. “The greatest thing is to love and be loved in return” – Moulin Rouge. So whether your man is short, tall, handsome or ugly, when you find love; enjoy it and treasure it. Practice love with patience and kindness. I wish you all the best in your “short-men relationships”.

OK ladies let’s have your ideas on this…..

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