₦airaland Forum

INTELLECTACADEM:
I'm sorry for the elongated post. My name is Seun (pseudonym), a student of medicine and surgery in one of Nigerian federal universities. At the moment, I'm very confused about what to do... There is a lady I met back then in late 2017. She was very young & innocent (a virgin) likewise myself....She was 17 & I was 20.
She came from another state for ijmb in my state. We started dating, and along the line I got to know her better... I deflowered her... and she was everything to me throughout the course of the relationship. Let me add this, I'm from a struggling single Mum. I was the one that advised her against the ijmb programme she was enrolling for considering her level academically....her Mum is an irresponsible young woman in her 40s (I have to use this description for you to get a clear picture) she's staying alone having given birth to 5 children with three different fathers and still more are.. My gf in question is the first born. In the beginning of the relationship, she told me everything about her family specifically her Mum and how she wouldn't want to be like her. She (my gf) has been the one taking key decisions in her life. Again, she was everything to me throughout the course of the relationship.. In fact, she was among the key people.. No, she was the key person that supported my dream and made my being in the journey (medical school) a reality as I was studying a course already before I started combining both school stuff + JAMB prep. Mind you, she was progressing academically as well, even though she was yet to get her dream course 'nursing'. Fast forward 2022, strike was announced and I had to come down to Lagos to stay with an uncle through whom I got a teaching job as I don't ever like being idle and more so, money would be accumulated as well and the strike will not be a waste. Note, the job came with an accommodation. Immediately I noticed how comfortable the job is,I invited her over since the school needed a female staff member. The first day she assumed the job, there's this male staff member she noticed.. And immediately we saw after work that day, she asked who he was,what he teaches..& I cannot forget her telling me the guy has 'pointed noise & all one's kids would have pointed noses if one should give birth for him' (that was when Satan started taking over..) Despite her description I didn't get the exact picture of the staff member she was talking about because being there for about two weeks ahead of her,I didn't even notice this...the 2nd day, I confirmed this and told her the name of the guy. Please note,she had been 100% faithful throughout the course of the relationship. Now, the fear of her taking after her Mum (promiscuity) started rising again, because that has always been my fear and that of my Mum since she knew her (just as a friend to me). With this fear and doubts that are now re-awokened in me, I decided to drop her for a lady I felt we'd be good together (also a staff member)...she cried,begged, called her mum to beg...even told her grandma that I had never met to beg when I broke up. It got to a point, she called my Mum that didn't know we were in a relationship. At some points,she became violent... She would enter my room (my accommodation), take & destroy my things,go to the new lady, tell her to do away with me...mind you, at the first instance, she went to the lady, told her how we've been together for over 4 years, and asked her to beg me for her. Within a week or two, the other guy (pointed nose) came into the picture, he asked her out... And not up to a month the heartbreak occurred, they had sex & they've been doing since (she tells me everything that happens each time) NOW,the issue is, she knows this guy in question is a play boy and he's up to nothing than to Bleep her for the time being and drop her. I am also afraid of taking her back as she has now had sex with someone else coupled with the fact that she became violent when the issue was still hot and she displayed all what I never knew her with (breaking my sim cards, spoiling my phone) she was violent! Now, I'm scared, I don't want the guy to ruin her life and at the same time I'm having this guilty conscience each time I remember how helpful she was when I needed her...her hard-earned 2k sometimes came at the right time when I needed it....she would rather give me money than her Mum believing I would be there for her when everything is fine. But, she showed some unprecedented violent acts when the issue was fresh and she has had sex with someone else... What do I do,nairalanders. Please note, I've not had anything sexual with the new lady.. The relationship has been platonic.

NA1RALANDER:
You lack wisdom..
Your girl admired another dude and the best you could do was call of the relationship??
Unfortunately the ship has sailed Faraway and can't be turned around cos enough has happened in the journey..
Even if you both make up things later.. she is not and would never be the same person again.. she is now exposed to other options and Men..
You goofed big time.. the only thing you could have done was to tell her that once you confirm she is flirting with the other guy, you would take a walk and never look back.. but you rushed to severe ties when she hasn't even made a move..

virginprincess:
Op this your story is some how confusing,anyway i think you should break up with her if you know you can't cope or try and get her another job so she can stop seeing the mr pointed nose .

Beebah2000:
Story for the gods