₦airaland Forum

nickibarb:
my dear i wish it was superstory. The second c/s was due to the short interval of pregnancies. my obgyn didnt think it will be safe to attempt vag delivery so soon after the first c/s. Second preg was kind of unplanned. hubby seemed to be in a hurry to get me preg cos he didn't get married early. when it happened, he was so overjoyed, me i kind of grew into the idea cause of cos, children are blessing of the lord. but no more babies for me though. I am too unhappy

Shay... I talk am... na old baba you marry... I just knew it... you women ehn... all of una... deceitful... that's why I can never advice married people... why leave out this information when you were writing your sordid story...

then again... Happy married life...

Acidosis:
Op, are you a Christian?
What were you doing at home on a Sunday morning?
Did you marry a drunkard? All alcoholics cheat.
Do you have a pastor?
What's the role of your husband in the church?

Typical Christian mentality...
who tell you say pastor no dey play away match...?!

plaetton:
My dear op, I sympathise with you.
We can only imagine the shock you are going through.

However, in the broader context, I want to say a few things, a few bitter truths to the general readers of this op, especially the women folk.
Before I go further though, let first say that I am neither a male chauvinist, player, insensitive nor immoral person. I am just one who studies and often come to terms with human nature, biological and social evolution.

I am always quite surprised when I see women shocked by cheating boyfriends or husbands.

The bitter truth, which I tell all my female friends, is that all men are predisposed to be non-monogamous.
Culture, social landscape and economics can either mitigate or exacerbate this predisposition.

Yes, a man can do his best at self control for as long as is possible, but the force of nature is hardly contained for a long period of time.

Speaking from a man's point of view, there are two types of infidelity. Infidelity of the heart, and infidelity of the body.

Now, in op's case and in majority of the cases, the man loves and adores his spouse, but his body is still unfaithful, bodily nourished by mercenary flesh vendors. This is an act of nature for which there is no cure, no mitigation whatsoever.
I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

A man, at one any point in time, with the right opportunity, will grab something on the side, irrespective of how much he loves, adores or is in harmony with his partner. This is a very hard pill to swallow.

I don't know how to repeat this without sounding sexist, chauvinistic, selfish and cruel (things that I am definitely not), but it is unrealistic to REALLY expect a man not to play away match for the entire length of " till death do us part ".

My point is that it is nature, not a moral question for males.
No woman should kill herself over this.


What should the op do right now?
I am not competent to advise.

You nailed it... you couldn't have said it better... but all these women no dey hear word...

between... one million likes for you...

just dey watch ooO... all of them way dey talk say make she divorce am never fix their own marital issues and the rest of them never marry...

I've said my own... I can never advice a married couple... na 'eh ya' 'Pele' I go dey talk...

afterall when I toast am... she no gree...

Just how old is the husband...? she no disclose... the OP sef get skeleton for cupboard...

One thing I know... I'll never advice married couples...

jkross:
Hehehe you don't know the game called football

And it is you that know... All these barca fans sef...

Iranu!!!

Pirlo.... one million times....

Only reason the world knew Xavi was cos of Messi...

barcanista/dearpreye... food don done ooO...

Barcanista/dearpreye before he was bribed with protection... but we know say nah yansh cos him defection...

Man of low self esteem...

Just get HDMI TV...

Hahahaha... Rotflmao...

innervoice:
Woman wrapper is a cheap tactic. Just sayin'

How many times in your life have you felt uncomfortable because of s:exist comments?

None... now you see... you're covering for a woman... that's the kind of protection they get...

Back at you mehn... back at you...

5minsmadness:
But what has a German got to do with a Nigerian female being a worthy Nigerian president

I swear... I was going to come to that...

FrancisTony...

I'll say this again... I'm proudly chauvinistic... I patronise prostitutes... and if a woman is worthy of my vote... I would vote for her...

Angela is a German woman... and she prolly worked her way to the top... Nigeria has given some women the platform to launch a serious bid to be President... Noi, Allison Madueke (if I'm correct)... but what did they use their position of power for...?

The worthy women that would get my vote are dead...

5minsmadness:
Do you knw ow why your posts are so confusing at times?
It's because there are so many holes in your argument, one doesn't even know which one to start from

I am very sure the many stories of women suffering at the hands of their husbands are the ones you read on nairaland. Thank God family section women don't make up 1% of the population so all those complaints u see on nairaland every other day don't count

There are many more stories of women living happily with thier husbands, ask your married nairaland feminists about thier marriages if you think it's not true. Everyday they keep confessing how awesome thier husbands are and since they make up less than 1% it is just the tip of the iceberg

Marriage is a lovely Union and can be quite joyous and filled with happiness. All you have to do is look out for the right person. Of course such happy couples won't complain. It's only the ones in trouble that come on nairaland to seek help and most of those stories are fabricated anyway for sensationalism and popularity.

Kindly point out one of my posts towards the female gender that has been hateful . That is, assuming you know the difference between disagreement and hate. You are the one who comes online day in and day out to shout how wicked and self centered men are and with the same breath vie for homosexuality/love between two men

Preach it...

Cheeba:

I wonder who is holding these naija women from being strong or being all that they can be? If some of them have been unfortunate to marry or date cavemen in their past or presently, they automatically assume all men are like the poor choices their own myopia brought into their lives! Meanwhile are most of them ready to take the countless opportunities out there for them in order for them to disown the theory that they can't do what men also do? Hell no! You guys can join the military, get involved in the agricultural revolution currently taking place in naija, go and make a difference in our oil fields, become transporters etc! Not to sit down and only be waiting for salon work or trading in mundane products and then complaining of a lack of opportunity or sexist policies! Being single is not a crime, not being productive is, this applies to both men and women! So get up, go out and do something other than wasting your lives blaming fairies for your situations!!!!

Word...

innervoice:
This is an extreme situation and I don't think anyone will think of gender equality under these circumstances. If a terrorist decides to shoot you because you are the man, then it is not a woman's fault but the terrorist's decision. And under these circumstances the terrorist will probably ra.pe the woman after you have been shot. Bottom line is that both, men and women, have advantages and disadvantages. You lose your life, the woman loses her husband, possibly the father of her kids, and also her physical integrity. Her life will never be the same again hence she has also lost her old life and may never recover again.



Yes men bear a lot. The sooner women understand it, the better our lives will become. However, men must also understand what women go through.

Now explain please what kind of protection women get in their every day lives that you get only 10% of.

How many women have been forced to resign/sued/sacked for a sexist comments made to a guy or another woman...?

All these woman wrapper men on nairaland sef...

shaybebaby:
You debase yourself when you resort to using the kind of language he understands. Best to ignore him and others who speak/ think like him. Chalk and cheese eh? And we both know he most definitely not the cheese.

more like chalk and talk... if it's one thing I understand women are the worst enemy of women... goodday to you ma'am...

winner01:
I dont argue with homosexuals >:

Hahaha... back at you FrancisTony...

5minsmadness:
How did I miss this?

And how many of these women have you talked to? Pls don't take your smoke from the headstrong teenage girls on this forum who thinks cooking is enslavement. I happen to be privileged to be exposed to a lot of couples by virtue of what I do and I assure you the average Nigerian woman has no qualms in carrying out her widely duties like cooking and cleaning the house as long as the man also carries out his duty if providing and protecting the household.

In fact I am dealing with a case right now in which a man has been cooking for himself for the past three weeks. Wifey is alarmed and upset as he has refused to iterate what the problem is. He simply said he is tired of her cooking and knew how to cook during his single days and wants to go back to it. It is an opportunity for Wifey to kick back and relax, he says. You'd think the wife would use this opportunity to watch telemundo right? Who cares, let him suffer in the kitchen right? Wrong! She is following him about and trying to learn from whatever mistakes she thinks she has made though the man insists there is nothing inherently wrong.

Men want to marry women, not warriors. If you don't want to cook for your husband then find a man who won't mind cooking for the house. He might also feel there is no need to provide for the house and make you the woman the provider and protector instead. Whatever makes you happy.

Bless you brotherly/sisterly...

smileysmiles:
Reasons please

Modified*
Its you. I know you. You are indeed "chauvinistic" infact if i saw the moniker ontime i wouldnt have replied..

Lol... true people don't hide who they are... that aside...

Nigeria of today... which woman personality dwarfs Buhareezy...?!

None... same goes to a fellow man...

Let's me put this in simple English... most chefs are male... but if a female chefs cooks better than a make chef... why shouldn't I patronise the female chef... chauvinism aside...

FrancisTony:
Get off my mention, prostitute patronizer.
STDS breeding fellow.

Lmao... they're humans too...

Thanks Winner01...

5minsmadness:
A husband doesn't keep you company at night or help you when you are down or write your eulogy when you die?

FrancisTony, what kind of husband are u planning on becoming? If your idea of a husband is none of those things above then please remain single!


It's like you have really been disappointed by a lot of men in your life. Well dear, the majority of men are good people. Ask ALL your married nairaland feminists and followers and likers. They will tell you how WONDERFUL all thier husbands are to them. None of them are as lonely as fvck, though I can tell you there are countless single elderly females that cry themselves to sleep every night yearning for that special someone to fill the void!

Of course any woman can sh1t out a child but it takes a responsible mother who will want to give birth to a child in the most conducive and loving atmosphere possible, which is a stable and happy marriage union instead of the farce of single motherhood or the arrangement of adoption.

Oh,and how do you know genevieve is happy? Do you live with her? Or are you basing your superficial assumptions on the many 'suffering and smiling' pictures she takes in public

Nobody said missterious said she hates marriage. Stop putting words in people's mouths.

You know, I honestly think you need to fall in love, preferably with a woman(one who is not your mom or grandma) . A lot of things about you will change. TV01 has his work cut out for him in rehabilitating you.

I pray you meet someone that will show you true love! Amen!

That FrancisTony na gay feminist... very useless wonker...

smileysmiles:
Lemme rephrase if buhari was a woma under APC and a preaidential candidate.... would he get the same number of votes he got?

I'm proudly chauvinistic... but if Buhareezy was a woman... would I vote for her...

the answer would always be yes...

No woman deserves to be a Nigerian President yet... the ones that deserves that mantle are dead...

Stillfire:
Let me add that, men are finding it very, very hard to adapt to the changing idea of womanhood...a woman that does not use nuances/passive aggression/pretense (you know the whole characteristics we have of being the 'virtuous woman') to speak her mind, but would tell it as it is. The male gender is attracted to a weak, suppressed, subdued, naive and vulnerable woman. This trait of being attracted to that type of woman is more pronounced in some cultures more than the others. These are all learned and conditioned behaviors, and how your environment and upbringing shapes you to view women. Well all I have to say is that, those who fail to adapt to a changing environment would eventually go extinct. Lol, the confusion also here is that we have empowered the girls, nobody taught the men how to adapt to the empowered woman.

typical you... your numbers are insignificant...

smileysmiles:
"They say" men dont or "Men dont" give them the chance?
In all honesty do you think if buhari was a woman with all his experience and good qualities and al that APC would have made him their presidential candidate?

Can you homestly say nigeria is in a state where Men will vote women as presidents ( evenwhen they are fully qualified)? If your answr is NO.. it raises the question ; why??

Misogyny and feminism apart... which woman categorically deserves to rule Nigeria...?

None... absolutely none...