Nadia's Story

by Iyawo Alaba.

1: ABDUCTED[b][/b]

Nadia picked herself up from the dirt floor, the man who pushed five of them into the mud hut was still at the door looking lustfully and leering at them. “Make yourselves at home” he said mockingly in Hausa, “I will be back”. The door was slammed shut. Everyone was immobilized with fear and you could hear a pin drop! Nadia quickly swept her eyes over her body again; thankfully, she didn’t have any major injury from the rough way the man had handled them.
A few others were not so lucky. The only familiar person to Nadia in the room was Zulpha, they were from the same village – Yakshari in Kano state. The terrorists had slit the throats of about 22 men, Nadia’s brother inclusive before carting away their livestock and stored grain. If only that was all they carted away, Nadia thought, but they had also taken captive about twenty girls from the village.

The thought of her poor mother all alone without food or even their animals to sell for money brought tears to Nadia’s eyes. She brushed the tears away and spoke to herself as she was fond of doing saying,
“Nadia, this is not the time to cry! You must pull yourself together, stay calm and find a way out of this prison. That’s the only way you’ll see mama again”.
Almost all the girls had given in to their fears and were crying profusely by now.

Nadia walked across the room to Zulpha. The poor girl was in pieces. A huge wave of sadness came upon Nadia. Zulpha was just 12 years old, three years younger than Nadia. She had never been a strong child; rather she was fragile and soft spoken. Nadia wondered how she would flair in this horrible situation they found themselves. She resolved again to be strong, not only for herself but for Zulpha too. Nadia stooped and touched her shoulders.

Zulpha lifted her head and Nadia saw it darken with recognition and some relief at finding a familiar face but that wasn’t all that her eyes reflected. Zulpha’s eyes reflected her terror, fear and anguish. It reflected the knowledge that her dream of becoming a nurse would never materialize. It was not a secret that the terrorists hated western education, besides, the horrible stories of what happens to abducted girls in their camps was not a secret either. A new fear gripped Nadia’s heart because she knew Zulpha was giving up on life without a fight. She held on tightly to her hand, telling her everything would be alright.
“What do you think they have done with Laila and the others?” Zulpha asked her.
“I don’t know” Nadia replied “but ‘am sure they are okay wherever they are” she added.

Zulpha smiled sadly and lowered her eyes. There was no fight left in her.

samydo:
99% of this our generation don't really understand the fundamental ethics of marriage, even though I'm not yet thinking of marriage but finding type of woman I will want to call my wife is still one thing that scares me about marriage

True, but I think you should be more concerned with becoming the kind of man a woman would want to call her husband!

May the Lord grant you your heart's desire according to His will.

Respect is Key!

By IyawoAlaba[b][/b]

In marriage, respect for each other is key. If you ask me, it is more important than love! Indeed, no man wants love or attention from a woman who can not truly respect him.

For a woman? No matter the cash or gifts, a man that doesn't respect his wife will definitely abuse her psychologically and it's said that it could be worse than even physical abuse!

His, Hers and Ours?

By: IyawoAlaba

In secondary school, there was a time my parents had about 4 cars. One day, someone asked me, "which cars are for your dad and which ones for your mum?" I was confused! That was the first time I came across the school of thought that some things are for the husband and some for the wife. In my innocence I replied, "all the cars are for my parents."

At another time, my husband and I were chatting with some undergraduates on a campus and one of the ladies said that it's generally believed and said that 'he' money is our money but 'she' money is my money!

These two scenarios beg the question; what does the Bible say?

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24. (Check out Matthew 19:5-6, Ephesians 5:25-33)

God sees the husband and wife as one flesh! They become one. Only a crazy man will say, "this home theater belongs to half of me, while the deep freezer belongs to the other half of my body!

There is also the issue of married couples having separate bedrooms. I am still trying to wrap my head around how one flesh will sleep in two different bedrooms at the same time!

Another common thing among many others that fights against God's concept of one flesh in marriage is the issue of 'privacy!' So a man/woman puts a password on his/her phone( which is not a bad thing especially if you have kids like mine!) but the spouse doesn't know the password nor pick the phone when it rings or beeps.
Genesis 2:25 says And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

The word 'naked' also depicts that they had no secrets from each other. Neither had any skeleton in the cupboard that they were ashamed of. Yes, this was before the fall. Before the first Adam fell and we all fell in him. The good news is that the second Adam (Christ) came, did the will of the Father in restoring us to Him because no sin was found in Him!1Corinthians 15:45-49.

Marriage is God's idea. He has a blue print for it as found in the scripture. You can't go in with your own rules. If you do, at best you would have a seemingly okay marriage which will not glorify God nor cause Christ to be formed in you or at worst, a crashed marriage. Choose to do it God's way.