₦airaland Forum

LOL, poo really does happen, even to the best of us

A man went to the hospital in Cooktown, Queensland to
have his wedding ring


cut off from his penis.



According to the nurse attending the operation, the patient's girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket.


She didn't know he was married and she was so mad she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.


I don't know what's worse:


1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.


2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.


OR,
3) Finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.



Tough call. You decide.

Answers from All Over The World

Julius Caesar:

It came, it saw, it crossed.



Aristotle:

To actualize its potential.



Isaac Newton:

Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.



Darwin:

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically positioned to cross roads.



Karl Max:

It was a historical inevitability.



Einstein:

Whether the chicken crossed the road, or the road moved beneath the chicken, depends upon your frame of reference.



Freud:

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.



Saddam Hussein:

This crossing was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.



George W. Bush:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.



Tony Blair:

I agree with George.



Yar’dua

Where is Z chicken?



Niger Delta Militants:

The chicken only cross to get her share of national cake



Boko Haram:

To correct the abnormality on the road



Fani-Kayode:

The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication calculated to embarass the Federal Government. We don't even have a chicken!



Bill Clinton:

I most certainly and unequivocally state that I did not cross the road with that chicken.



Gandhi:

Imagine all the chickens; crossing roads in peace.



WHO:

The chicken crossing will further spread Avian Flu to another unprepared country.



National Geographic: "… and as we watch the lone chicken undertake this hazardous journey, we can only wonder at the awesome nature of this dangerous, yet necessary, migration. …"



Bill Gates:

We have just released the new Chicken Office 2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chequebook.





The Rock (WWF):

If you saw me coming, you'd be crossing the road too!



Obama:

Because it believed in CHANGE.



Martin Luther King, Jr.:

I have a dream: of a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.



Grandpa:

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.



Patrick Obahiagbon:

It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such a Herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence. In fact it deserves to be alloted the enviable sobriquet, " tomahawk of iconic avian salamander"



Sanusi Lamido Sanusi:

I think there is something we are missing here: the chicken has some unresolved cases which audit has thrown out, the details and envidences of which might be lying on the other side of the road. by the power vested on the chicken it is empowered to do so, it is paramount for the chicken to ensure that the matters are resolved in order to prevent window-dressed financial and road crossing statements, since CBN cum EFCC are lurking.



OBJ:

Ahhh, where are these people, please ensure it is returned back to Otta farm, whether it is from there or not.


Pastor Chris:
since ornithological specimen of identical plummage invariably conglomerate to the nearest proximity, then it could be migrating towards areas of highest avian concentration. Amen!

Me:
How much is at stake?

YOU?

dude!!!! don't tell me u want ur IQ to drop!! last time i was there i got so pissed with the trash talking i decided to take out a few morons. lets just say, anytime i logon now,,, ppl avoid me carefully. and i didnt even have to be vulgar or include ppls mama!!

marho, i'd advice u to join naijapals. u'd hv a field day there cos thats where trash talking brain-dead (or those planning to go brain-dead) ppl hangout. seriously, think abt it

seriaas i thot that was just a funky almajiri!!!

LOL, na wa oh!! e try search the almajiris (aboki beggars) wey dey the other side? e fit no be the frog wey swallow the coin oh!!

alot of u might already know this but i still think it might be fun anyways. Lets recite the alphabet mushin style (no insult intended to mushin ppl oh!!).
i'll start and do some alphabets so we'll all get the jege,

A for Agbero
B for bus-stop
C for carry-go
D for danfo
E for egunje
F for fiber, next person,

this guy not only can't read (it's JOKES section), he tells really awful jokes too. And rather than go with the flow and just join in the yabis take shame cover face, he gets really lousy with insults. Y r u in this section if u have absolutely no sense of humour? the replies on this page are real funny and u kept trying to ruin it!! poor beggar.

real sori abt that coin sha, God with provide

this guy not only can't read (it's JOKES section), he tells really awful jokes too. And rather go with the flow and just join in the yabis take shame cover face, he gets really lousy with insults. Y r u in this section if u have absolutely no sense of humour? the replies on this page are real funny and u kept trying to ruin it!! poor beggar.

real sori abt that coin sha, God with provide

the whole posining issue is pure bull. women now know their own powers and have realised they r equals, and in some cases better, than men. so infidelity is no longer seen as a male/ female thing.
the point is if women can take their cheating partners back, why should'nt the men? the writer here neva told us wether he was faithful himself while he was away, what is his own track record with regards to fidelity? Alot of women do it as a way of getting even.
If you want to dump her do so, otherwise stick with it but trust will be an issue for a long time.
the ball is in your court.

people here judging the girl do not know the circumstances surrounding this issue. do not be the first to cast stones, how many ppl here can raise their hands and say they've never stepped out on a partner? stepping out on someone u're having a fling with is still infidelity, so don't say it doesnt count.

but seriously guys, no be from form 1 una begin tink with blokos?

@surveyprof, the mantemantics required pass me na im make me ask!!

mmmhh!!! how many inches would be needed to do doggy-style here?

does anybody remember "ze portrait of ze fallen madonna with ze big boobies by von klomp" ('allo 'allo)? this is it

A mother was bathing her 5 year old son when he started playing with his genitals.
Son: Mom, is this where my brain is?
Mother: Not yet!!!

AYO147, seriously and and the babe shd hook up. just make sure u dont rent an apartment in a compacted residential area, cos the scud missiles u guys wd release could be deadly, LMAO

Sorry, 4got to add that i'm female

Any tall, handsome, christian nigerian chap living in south africa looking to hook up?

Wat r d educate of nowadays come 2? A whole room of ppl and ordinary english u cannot spoke. Even plus includin u stan

Bank

Did y'all hear that i'm lookin 4 a tall sexy bobo?

Ur mama's mustache looks real good on her, especially wit d sideburns. But it'd even b beta if she cd dye her chest hair 2 match

Ur mama's so dumb she thot a quarterback was a refund

Police

Police

i'm d last

mine's slim (for obvious reasons)

i'm the last

i will suspend you from the site

iice, don't suspend that chicks legs

Freewilly i doubt if dey sold u & all d junk u own there'll b enuf dough 2 buy my cheapass phone