Jazon's Posts
Nairaland Forum › Jazon's Profile › Jazon's Posts
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 (of 22 pages)
All secondary School textbooks in PDF and word format. @200NGN only. Click pay and download. click here to order etext
|
Captain America: We thought you wanted us to fight bad guys. Dino: Yes, you will help me to beat someone from APC. Captain: Huh? Dino: (whispers) Adams Oshiomole. Captain America: … Dino: Hold this camera, I quickly want to do something for internet. Dino gives Capatain America the phone and starts to sing. Dino: Ajekun Iya ni o je…. https://www.zikoko.com/pop/just-imagine/if-captain-america-had-to-survive-in-nigeria/?fbclid=IwAR0iC3PmMJJsoCxIlWzsI4iNAhsmrGhOfr1incKZd_-WvwR02eQoR8zIpIg
|
June 7, 2021 – 9:00 PM Captain America is sitting in the living room of a mansion. He is totally spent and tired. Dino Melaye walks into the house. Dino: Captain America! Why did you come late now! Captain America: There was a slight delay. Please brief me about the mission. Dino: Good. Is birthday we want to do. Captain America: … Dino: We want you to perform. All those things you use to do inside film, do it here. Captain America: You told me to come so I can perform at a party? Dino: APC people brought Spiderman, and I want to show them that I am bigger than them. Captain America: What?! Dino: Why are you shouting? Didn’t I pay you people?
|
Captain America walks out. June 7, 2021 – 6:30PM Captain America is walking down the road. He sees a woman frying Akara by the roadside and runs to her. Akara Seller: How much akara you wan buy, Oyinbo? Captain America: Is that my shield you’re using to fry stuff? Akara Seller: Pot wey I buy for Aswani? Captain America: Give me that shield right now! Akara Seller: If you no vamoose, I go pour you hot water. A man enters the conversation. Man: Baba I dey sell DSTV dish, you fit use am. Captain America:
|
Policeman: Why did you spoil nepa pole too? Captain America: I thought someone was shooting. Policeman: Captain America: (stands and breaks his handcuffs) I don’t have time for all this. Policeman: If you move, I shoot. Captain America takes his gun and bends it. Policeman: … Captain America: … Policeman: … Captain America: Is there any other thing? Policeman: Nothing sir. Captain America starts to walk out. Policeman: Ehm, you usually do America visa lottery for people, abi?
|
Police Station June 7, 2021 – 5:27PM Captain America is sitting across from a policeman. His hands are handcuffed. Policeman: You’re the one that throw church bus abi? Captain America: In order to stop a crime… You are welcome. Policeman:
|
Just then, a couple of gunshots are heard and Captain America sees a young man running. Captain America chases after him, climbing on different yellow buses. He jumps down from a bridge and lands on a car. The driver of the car shouts. Driver: Did they swear for you?! Captain America: Sorry! Captain America swings from a nepa pole, knocking it down again. The middle-aged man from earlier screams. Man: Hope you know that’s where I wanted to tap light from?! Captain America eventually catches the shooter and knocks him down. Captain America: Why are you shooting? Who do you work for? The Shooter: Shoot? Is banger I am throwing. The shooter raises a stick of knockout. Captain America realises his mistake and everyone looks at him in anger. Man: You see that what is doing you is madness?
|
A young woman stares at the demolished betting stall. Young woman: Hei! My shop! The old woman walks up to the thief and retrieves her phone. Old Woman: (to Captain America) You sef, your gra gra is too much. Captain America: I caught the thief. Young Woman: Is this one mad? Won’t you repair the shop?!
|
A middle-aged man shouts. Man: Who is the mad man that spoilt our nepa pole? Captain America: There was a robbery! Man: And what concern nepa pole?
|
June 7, 2021 – 2:30PM Captain America is walking down the street. An okadaman zooms past an old woman and snatches her phone. Old Woman: My phone o! Captain America notices this and hauls a Mountain of Fire bus at the thief. The bus slams into the thief, stopping him. The bus also knocks down a nepa pole. The pole falls on a nearby betting stall. A pastor rushes out of a church. Pastor: Who fling our church bus?! Hold this bag for me. I say who fling our bus!
|
Captain America pushes him away. Man: Is not like I want to sell it o…. I just want to use it for work. Captain America: Where do you work?! Man: … Captain America grabs him by the collar. Man: Okija shrine, sir.
|
June 7, 2021 – 2 PM Captain America is lying unconscious in a wheelbarrow, on a pile of refuse. A man slowly moves closer to him. The man crouches next to Captain America. He removes Captain America’s shoes and tucks them under his armpit. Man: (to himself) This one will be ₦2,500. He proceeds to remove a knife from his bag and starts cutting through Captain America’s clothes. Captain America wakes up and holds his hand. Man: Hay! You never die? Captain America: Who sent you? Man: Ehn? Captain America: What are you doing? Man: Nothing o. I want to remove something. Captain America: What? Man: Small kidney.
|
Ubong: Oya, epp me wake am. Justina:
|
Justina: Dem dey sell covid vaccine for underbridge? Na doctor dey sell am? Ubong: He wear white coat. Justina: Moturary attendant too dey wear white coat. Ubong:
|
Captain America hands him some wads of dollars and Ubong stands. Ubong: Follow me. TOILET – June 7, 2021 7 A.M. Captain America is laying on the floor, unconscious. Ubong is looking at him fearfully. A woman, Justina enters. Justina: Why you call me, wetin appun? Ubong points at Captain America on the floor. Justina: Wetin you give am? Ubong raises a syringe. Ubong: Covid injection. Justina: From where? Ubong: Oshodi, under bridge. Justina squints at the syringe. Justina: No be abortion injection be that? Ubong: say na lie.
|
Captain America: No, I didn’t. Ubong points to the left. Ubong: Pass that side…. NEXT! Captain America looks to the left and sees a long queue. Captain America: Look, I need a faster route. I am on a mission. Ubong: (scrutinises him) You have dollar there?
|
Captain America: Sorry about that, mate. Lovely country here. Ubong: (yawns) Give me passport and visa. Captain America hands him the required documents. Ubong: (studies the document) Did you do Covid test? Captain America: (grins) I can’t fall sick. Don’t worry. Ubong: Is that what I ask you?
|
June 7, 2021. 5 A.M. Captain America lands in Murtala Mohammed Airport, Lagos Nigeria. The airport is dark, dingy and noisy. Ubong, a disgruntled sleep-deprived immigration officer screams. Ubong: NEXT! Captain America confidently walks forward and Ubong frowns. Ubong: This one that you’re walking like it’s you that is Buhari.
|
If Captain America Had To Survive In Nigeria The date is June 6, 2021. Captain America is sitting in a large boardroom overlooking the White House. A young man is standing behind him. A hologram flickers to life and a man appears. Man: You are needed in Nigeria for a highly-confidential duty. Jack there will give you your flight details. Good luck. Captain America stands and salutes.
|
Ola17:We're not really nothing, but something at a very reduced scale when compared to galaxies. Whatever masterminded or created the order we now see in the universe will surely value every matter down to the last atom. Because without them, every other thing wouldn't exist. If you look at the size of an atom or a molecule and compare it to a human being, the difference in size is even more mind-blowing than comparing Earth to galaxies. Who knows, groups of galaxies may work together and form a working system or a giant being with stars and galaxies being comparable to how atoms and molecules function in building organic and complex life on Earth. |
I can safely say, we are equal to nothing. If the difference between the size of d Earth and the largest object in the universe is infinity, we humans in Earth are equal to nothing. Nothing may not actually be nothing after all. It may just be something at a very small size till it's existence is more or less equal to nonexistence |
|
Echoke!!!!! |
Haaaa. If Boma is evicted, this night go hot for hotel |
1. The more intelligent you are, the more fools you must suffer. The worst of these individuals are those who imagine they are more intelligent when they are obviously not, or those who denounce education and intellect as unimportant because they lack one or both. 2. Being perceived as condescending. It is a constant battle of diplomacy that is often lost even with the best of intentions.
|
More screenshots
|
For about 3 days now Abeg has been experiencing issues. No giveaway has been on for more than two days now. Withdrawal has been disabled, meaning you cannot withdraw money from the app. Everybody on google play complaining about these issues. I noticed these irregularities when one user I'm following acquired more than 10 million Riddler badges. This badge costs 5 thousand each. I was wondering how much that would cost the user. On closer look, I noticed that the user's account has been reported and disabled. And all the badges he bought that were displayed on his profile were nomore there. Checkout out screenshots
|
Can you see d name? |
sense is far from Nigerian government |
Ahmadu Bello's fear was that if Nigeria becomes independent too early, all the positions in the government would be occupied by the more educated southerners. Even till date in 2021, the north has not still caught up with the south in terms of education. They appoint Northerners to head sensitive positions even when they do not have the intellectual capacity to function in such fields. That is what is making this administration look as if every body is irrational. Fools are the ones leading wise men. |
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 (of 22 pages)
