₦airaland Forum

On a very good afternoon after coming back from goin to smoke my sk I normally usually take every morning before heading home to relax.
The hotel I usually go chill to smoke.the workers informed me "aw va my guy" Ndlea been burst here last night...dem pack niggas ...even emeka ,the drug dealer...I asked by what time ...by 10 for nite...omo I was like thank God I no dey smoke for night... morning tinzz and am done...when I say morning...I mean as early as 7 to 8.....den police or Ndlea officers go still dey sleep... after the info...omo naso I gulp my smoke...like sey na orange juice japa go lie down for my house.
As devil would have it,one of my niggas called me was like...wassup bro.. today na my bday...hop around . today is my bday...I dey one hotel like that...come make we light up... one spirit been tell me to sit my ass down....Ndlea people fit still dey street..... but I just overlook am ...brush the thought sey i no go waste time.
Naso I reach dere see my nigga on fresh... birthday boy...mind you na only me him call.... dealer sef dey d hotel... before you know we don purchase... my guy was operating his phone...badt guy ...I don tie one big jombo give my guy ..tie anoda one put for table.. my guy was smoking up...mine was on the table...was about picking it up to light. Na so I just see one rough looking nigga sit beside me with red vest on ....hold me for waist...tell me "aw va"....I look the nigga ...look him vest...see NDLEA for back..."Damn...dem don finally get me' ....dem pack all of us wey sit dere...handcuff me and my nigga together... Handcuff the other niggas together..... street full... everybody begin come out dey look....it was now as if na thief Dem catch... but no wahala...I said to my sef ...I sha no kill person.
While in their van on the way to their station....was thinking of many ways to get outta this situation...called one of the Ndlea nigga...talked to him about settlement before we reach their cell...he called his boss...one mean looking hausa guy...the man no gree... that's how we were taken to their station...they collected our phones... our smoke as exhibit...we got to their station at night..we could not call our families or friends..
Mind you this was on a Friday all this was happening....me wey never enter cell before....as a fresh boy...cos I clean with pink lips..
I begin reason story.
when they begin ask questions...i reason my guy what he would tell them and the story must rhyme....and the drug dealer we bought the smoke from was there with us


But i no be snitch...even as the NDLEA officers wanted us to snitch on him cos they were after the drug dealers mainly.
..but me and my guy say no be am we buy smoke from.
now see story wey I come up with wey me and my guy go use help ourselves.

Ndlea: how did you get the smoke
Me:. Two of our friends went to get it for us
Ndlea:From where
Me : we don't know
Ndlea:where are these your friends?
Me: they are females sir, they went to get something before you guys bursted in
Ndlea:do you smoke?
Me : ( why they are asking me this,"remember Dem no see me light up, smoke was on the table but my guy was smoking"..No Sir , was a smoker, that's how I know how to mould but have stopped smoking since....Dem laugh..."you think we are fools abi"( I was like in my mind, believe am or not,you sha no see me with smoke)
Ndlea: what about your friend?we saw him smoking,so?
Me: he is depressed...he doesn't smoke ,he just lost his mom, the burial is next week, so I was there to console him (and it's the truth , my guy lost his mum ,but e don tey small Sha)
Ndlea: you this guy ,you think you are smart with these crazy stories you telling us
Me: true to god..I am not lieing
(Thank God my lips pink,I have a fair skin..I look very clean ,I make sure sey even if I be chain Igbo smoker,I no let am show for my body)
They put me back in the cell ,told me to call my friend... immediately I sharperly brief am again.
They question him but na sharp guy,him sef no Fall
SECOND DAY IN THE CELL(SATURDAY)
This crazy Ndlea no give us food nor water sha,but hunger na d last thing wey dey mind...my people must be worried sick, I haven't called, no one knows where we are,and the crazy officers refused us phone calls.... telling us we would stay 3 days before any call,sey Dem want make we suffer small...me I was like no be me and you.
In the cell we met some niggas there before us, their families came for them, through the cell bar when the Ndlea people was talking with some other prisoner families in their office...I begin dey follow one of the people wey come bail their own talk...
Me: pleas sir , can I use your phone to call
The strangers: call who?
Me:our families,no one knows we are here
The strangers: haba,that's wrong,why are they behaving like that
Me:ABI o...we have not even eaten sef
The stranger: Jesus..wicked people...take my son, call who you want to call,but be fast before they come out,
I was glad, the stranger also got us food,bread with butter and pure water, ( our angel sent from heaven)
My guy told me to call his dad,I wanted to call my own people,but my guy was like ,my father will bail the both of us out,naso my guy call him papa number...I call...papa was worried..he knows me very well I am a family friend, been friends of the family for almost 10years ,and we've helped ourselves in so many ways possible,....
About 2 hours later, Naso my guy papa ,show,Ndlea officers were shocked, how did you know your son was here.my guy papa talk sey we call am,..

The officers look me and my guy... just laugh....you people are playing smart abi, no wahala
They took my guy papa to the office with him senior sister wey I been dey date one time...see as she dey look me and her bro dey talk ,dey hold the cell like real prisoners..omo Naso I bone no look her side,...Ndlea talk with my guy papa, Dem negotiate...like play , like play....omo Dem release my guy o!, Not me...WTF!.. I was like what's happening...the papa talk sey sorry..my Money no reach for una two...how much I ask?...100k for both of you....this man na big man o.... 100k na nothing to am....I said okay....borrow me...I will pay you back immediately I come out...he said him no get...Naso dey release my guy,him no even talk anything to him Papa or me...him just dey happy sey him dey commot the cell...Damn!...I just beg my guy papa for one thing..."help me call this num"...him call the num ...under how many hours after my guy and him family don comot...for evening my people show with money for bail...But the Ndlea people no gree release me o!
Sey evening don reach ...and Dem no dey work on Sunday..I will be there till Monday...I was like...What?... nothing my people could do...
Naso dem buy food for me.... but I no fit chop ...gave the niggas in the cell with me...see as niggas dey rush food, I was like how can you be hungry In this crazy situation, and mind you I no too chow the first one the strangers bought for us...only water I took and Lil of the bread.
My people left Sha!....till Monday...but me no gree o...I no fit stay here till Monday...and thank God sey I been like tell those Ndlea officers say I get pneumonia...I dey weak to Cold...and my people confirm am to them when they come around..
Well Sha ! That Saturday night, crazy thoughts just dey run my mind ...na Saturday we still dey...Sunday still dey...I can't be in this God forsaken place wey niggas dey shit and pee for bucket...the smell fit kill person...with Giants rats wey dey enter the cell and na for ground we dey sleep...as thoughts and ideas were running through my mind that night, midnight..when everyone don sleep...I make everybody for cell believe sey I don sleep since before midnight knack...when niggas were still even talking in the cell.

By the time I noticed everyone has entered deep sleep...Naso I start drama
THE DRAMA
I pack spit for my mouth wella, position myself, begin dey roll and stagger for ground dey pour spit out...make my eye look like I was really going to die...dey roll on top everyone o!...dey give Dem correct blow,...for my mind(una no go call this Ndlea officers?).....and as God would have it... because the NDLEA cell dey for a compound where apartment and office dey the same compound...the oga of that Ndlea area was living in the compound...the mean officer who said he will make sure I stay here for long for playing smart...but Upon the bravado,baba sef fall for my prank...Naso my cell mates begin dey shout someone is dying here o!....dey hit the cell bar..the Ndlea officer quickly run come outside....begin dey fear o!..rush go bring water pour on me... LoL...me was just laughing within...he begin fear, sharperly he took me to his office gave me blanket with soft couch to sleep on...damn !I have missed comfort...he sharperly called my people to come carry me make ajebo like me no come die for their cell...Lol...Mumu dem...me just dey talk small small dey shiver dey form innocenty dey miss my Jumbo igbo....I come dey think...where the evidence dey...the igbo wey I been wrap....me and my guy own... because that Ndlea officer wey be hausa dey smoke cigar like shege...abi him don smoke the igbo nii??..e no show evidence to my guy Papa,e no show evidence to my people...maybe na me just they over think am... NDLEA no suppose dey smoke igbo.