Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:11pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:43am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia Jack didn't have anything to say to that, so he waited for Sammy to make it back to the lever, nodded to him, nodded a final time to Nate, and then headed into the desert with Sammy following. Over the next several years Sammy and Jack kept in touch with Nate through e-mail as they went about their adventures. They made a goal of visiting every country in the world, and did a respectable job of it. Sammy had a natural gift for languages, as Jack expected he would, and even ended up acting as a translator for Jack in a few of the countries. Jack managed to keep the talking rattlesnake hidden, even so, and by the time they were nearing the end of their tour of countries, Sammy had only been spotted a few times. While there were several people that had seen enough to startle them greatly, nobody had enough evidence to prove anything, and while a few wild rumors and storied followed Jack and Sammy around, nothing ever hit the newspapers or the public in general Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:10pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:44am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Jack didn't have anything to say to that, so he waited for Sammy to make it back to the lever, nodded to him, nodded a final time to Nate, and then headed into the desert with Sammy following. Over the next several years Sammy and Jack kept in touch with Nate through e-mail as they went about their adventures. They made a goal of visiting every country in the world, and did a respectable job of it. Sammy had a natural gift for languages, as Jack expected he would, and even ended up acting as a translator for Jack in a few of the countries. Jack managed to keep the talking rattlesnake hidden, even so, and by the time they were nearing the end of their tour of countries, Sammy had only been spotted a few times. While there were several people that had seen enough to startle them greatly, nobody had enough evidence to prove anything, and while a few wild rumors and storied followed Jack and Sammy around, nothing ever hit the newspapers or the public in general Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:10pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:44am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia "You willing to do that for me, Jack?" Nate turned back to look at Jack.
"Yeah, Nate," replied Jack solemnly, "I think I can handle that."
Nate nodded. "Good!" He turned back toward the dune and shouted, "Sammy! Jack's about ready to leave!" Then quietly, "Thanks, Jack." Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:08pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:54am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia "I've even thought about how. Poisons and other drugs won't work on me. And I've seen pictures of snakes that were shot - some of them live for days, so that's out too. So, I want you to bring back a sword.
Nate turned away to look back to the dune that Sammy had gone behind. "I'd say an axe, but that's somewhat undignified - putting my head on the ground or a chopping block like that. No, I like a sword. A time-honored way of going out. A dignified way to die. And, most importantly, it should work, even on me. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:08pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:54am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Nate nodded. "Thanks, Jack. I only want two things. One - show Sammy around the world - let him get his fill of it, until he's ready to come back here and take over. Two - give me the fourth request.
"I can't just decide to die, not any more than you can. I won't even die of old age like you eventually will, even though it'll be a long time from now. I need to be killed. Once Sammy is back here, ready to take over, I'll be able to die. And I need you to kill me. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:07pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:54am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Jack looked more closely at Nate. He could tell Nate had thought about this - probably for quite a while. Jack had trouble imagining what it would be like to be as old as Nate, but Jack could already tell that in another hundred or two hundred years, he might be getting tired of life himself. Jack could understand Samuel's decision, and now Nate's. So, all Jack said was, "What do you want me to do?" Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:06pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:54am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Jack considered this for a minute. "So, you're ready to come see the world, and you wanted him to watch the lever while you were gone?"
Nate shook his head. "No, Jack - you're a better guesser than that. You've already figured out - I'm bound here - there's only one way for me to leave here. And I'm ready. It's my time to die." Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:04pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:55am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Nate watched Sammy disappear and then looked back at Jack. "Jack, this is my first son. My first offspring through all the years. You don't even want to know what it took for me to find a mate." Nate grinned to himself. "But anyway, I had a son for a reason. I'm tired. I'm ready for it to be over. I needed a replacement." Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 6:01pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:55am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Nate looked at Sammy. Sammy looked back at Nate for a second and then said, "Oh, yeah. Ummm, I've gotta go pack. Back in a little bit Jack. Nice to meet ya!" Sammy slithered back over the dune and out of sight. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:58pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:55am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia He's seen it in pictures, over the computer that you brought me. But I hear that it's not the same. That being there is different. I want him to have that. Think you can do that for me, Jack?"
Jack nodded. This was obviously very important to Nate, so Jack didn't even joke about taking a talking rattlesnake out to see the world. "Yeah, I can do that for you, Nate. Is that all you need?" Jack could sense that was something more. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:57pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:56am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Nate nodded. "Jack, I've got a favor to ask you. Could you show Sammy around for me?" Nate unwrapped himself from the lever and slithered over to the edge of the stone and looked across the sands. "When Samuel first told me about the world, and brought me books and pictures, I wished that I could go see it. I wanted to see the great forests, the canyons, the cities, even the other deserts, to see if they felt and smelled the same. I want my son to have that chance - to see the world. Before he becomes bound here like I have been. Joshmedia1 is not author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:55pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:56am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Jack watched as a four foot long desert rattlesnake crawled from behind the dune and up to the stone base of the lever.
"Yo, Jack," said the new, much smaller snake.
"Yo, Sammy" replied Jack. Jack looked at Nate. "Named after Samuel, I assume?" Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:54pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:56am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia Over four months later Jack was back to see Nate again. This time he brought a laptop with him - a specially modified laptop. It had a solar recharger, special filters and seals to keep out the sand, a satellite link-up, and a special keyboard and joystick that Jack hoped that a fifteen-foot rattlesnake would be able to use. And, it had been hacked to not give out its location to the satellite. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:53pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:57am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia Jack had brought more books for Nate - recent books, magazines, newspapers. Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world, others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate, and then headed out again, telling Nate that he'd be back again soon, but that he had things to do first. Joshmedia1 is the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:53pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 10:57am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn't unheard of, and shouldn't really raise suspicions. Joshmedia1 is not author |
Food › Re: Food You Should Learn To Cook by JoshMedia(op): 5:49pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:00am On Sep 05, 2019 |
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Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:45pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:06am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia After a few minutes, Nate spoke. "Jack, I have someone to introduce you to."
Jack looked surprised. "Someone to introduce me to?" Jack looked around, and then looked carefully back at Nate. "This something to do with the Big Guy?
"No, no," replied Nate. "This is more personal. I want you to meet my son." Nate looked over at the nearest sand dune. "Sammy!" Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:44pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:06am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia But, he still remembered to drop by and visit Nate occasionally.
On one of the visits Nate seemed quieter than usual. Not that Nate had been a fountain of joy lately. Jack's best guess was that Nate was still missing Samuel, and though Jack had tried, he still hadn't been able to replace Samuel in Nate's eyes. Nate had been getting quieter each visit. But on this visit Nate didn't even speak when Jack walked up to the lever. He nodded at Jack, and then went back to staring into the desert. Jack, respecting Nate's silence, sat down and waited. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:43pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:06am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Eventually, Jack started writing. Perhaps because of the wisdom, or perhaps because of his new perspective, he wrote well. People liked what he wrote, and he became well known for it. After a time, Jack bought an RV and started traveling around the country for book signings and readings. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:42pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:06am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia After the first year, Jack quit his job. For some reason, with the wisdom he 'd been given, and the knowledge that he could live for over 150 years, working in a nine to five job for someone else didn't seem that worthwhile any more. Jack went back to school. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:41pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:05am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia After that Jack could e-mail Nate to keep in touch, but still visited him fairly regularly - at least once or twice a year. Joshmedia1 is not the author . |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:41pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:05am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Over four months later Jack was back to see Nate again. This time he brought a laptop with him - a specially modified laptop. It had a solar recharger, special filters and seals to keep out the sand, a satellite link-up, and a special keyboard and joystick that Jack hoped that a fifteen-foot rattlesnake would be able to use. And, it had been hacked to not give out its location to the satellite. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:40pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:03am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Jack had brought more books for Nate - recent books, magazines, newspapers. Some things that would catch Nate up with what was happening in the world, others that were just good books to read. He spent the weekend with Nate, and then headed out again, telling Nate that he'd be back again soon, but that he had things to do first. Joshmedia1 is the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:39pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:03am On Sep 05, 2019 |
Joshmedia Jack parked a little way out of the small town near Nate, loaded up his new backpack with camping gear and the things he was bringing for Nate, and then started walking. He figured that walking would leave the least trail, and he knew that while not many people camped in the desert, it wasn't unheard of, and shouldn't really raise suspicions. Joshmedia1 is not author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:35pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:02am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it does, Jack. I'd suggest you be careful about that if you start feeling wobbly," said Nate with some amusement.
A little later - "Does it have to be me that pulls the lever?" asked Jack. Joshmedia1 is not the author Review |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:34pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:02am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia "Yeah, yeah, I got that," replied Jack, eyes squeezed tightly shut and body tense, not noticing the change in direction of Nate's voice. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Agriculture › Re: Agricultural News by JoshMedia(op): 5:26pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 3:03pm On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: NEWS Find the latest ag news, including updates on farm policy, business, machinery, and technology. This section also covers crop news for corn, soybeans, and wheat as well as livestock updates on cattle, hogs, and poultry.
Syngenta Buys Agricultural Technology Firm Cropio Cropio to remain a standalone company, owned by Syngenta Land Sale: Hancock County Land Sale Averages $8,200 per Acre High-quality farmland in west-central Illinois sells at auction for $8,200 per acre. 3 Big Things Today, August 30 Soybean futures and corn futures were higher overnight on easing trade tensions between the U.S. and China. Joshmedia copied it. Successful Farming TV Show Unbelievable Shop/Office with Room for Used Parts Business By Top Shops Dave Mowitz travels to Oconomowoc, Wisconsin, to the Runyard farmstead on Top Shops. The Runyards needed a shop that was functional for future expansion and for their used part business. Successful Farming TV Show Farmer-Modified Shop Stove By All Around the Farm What’s a great way to keep warm in your farm shop? An old cast iron wood stove, of course! Successful Farming TV Show Don Landoll’s 1950 Ford 8N Tractor By Successful Farming TV Show Dave Mowitz visits with Don Landoll to see his beautifully restored Ford 8N. To Protect Livestock, Watch for Signs of Anthrax With cattle in North Dakota and Texas testing positive for anthrax, Nebraska Department of Ag encourages livestock producers to protect animals. Corn, Soybean Harvest Is Under Way for Southern Farmers With combines rolling in cornfields from Texas to Arkansas, soybean cutting is getting under way in the Mississippi Delta region. Largest Industrial Hemp Processing Plant Opens in Colorado As the surge of industrial hemp farming advances, Paragon Processing is poised to offer seed-to-shelf solutions. Perdue Takes Call from Trump with Midwest Farmers Secretary Sonny Perdue was on stage in Decatur, Illinois, when he stunned the crowd and accepted a phone call from President Donald Trump regarding trade with China. 3 Big Things Today, August 29 Soybean futures and corn futures were higher in overnight trading. What’s the secret to getting farmers hooked on ag tech apps? Start-ups have to build digital services that farmers can do something with and extract value from, says Impact Terra. Show More TIP OF THE DAY Extra UTV Bed Protection UTV bedliner I use my UTVs around the farm for many purposes including picking up rocks. I also use them for recreation, and I like to keep them clean... read more
NEWS NEWS Syngenta Buys Agricultural Technology Firm Cropio Land Sale: Hancock County Land Sale Averages $8,200 per Acre 3 Big Things Today, August 30 To Protect Livestock, Watch for Signs of Anthrax All News See what’s trending right now on agriculture MARKETING American farmers need to remember ... It’s Monday afternoon here in Korea, and after a week ...[More]
Author: rickgthf Posted: 09-02-2019 Should we copy right satellite images of our... Elaine Kub on Market 2 Market was talking about our ...[More]
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Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:24pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:02am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia "And," continued Nate, from his new position, "do you remember that you'll turn bright purple, and grow big horns and extra eyes?"
"Yeah, yeah...Hey, wait a minute!" said Jack, opening his eyes, straightening up and turning around. "Purple?!" He didn't see Nate there. With the moonlight Jack could see that the lever extended up from its slot in the rock without the snake wrapped around it. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:23pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:01am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia Nate watched Jack tense up with a little exasperation. If he bit Jack now, Jack would likely jump out of his skin and maybe hurt them both.
"You remember that you'll be bound to destroy humanity if it ever looks like it needs it, right Jack?" asked Nate, shifting position. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:23pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 11:01am On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia "He said it did," replied Nate. "But he seemed a little quieter afterward. Like he had a lot to think about."
"Well, yeah, I can see that," said Jack. "So, give it to me." Jack turned to face away from Nate again, bent over slightly and tensed up. Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:21pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 2:40pm On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia Nate looked at Jack's backside. "Give you what, Jack?"
"Give me that wisdom. The same stuff that Samuel asked for. If it helped him, maybe it'll help me too." Jack turned his head to look back over his shoulder at Nate. "It did help him, right?" Joshmedia1 is not the author |
Jokes Etc › Re: Longest Joke In The World by JoshMedia(op): 5:21pm On Sep 03, 2019*. Modified: 2:40pm On Sep 05, 2019 |
JoshMedia: Joshmedia Nate sounded like he was grinning again as he replied, also quietly, "Wisdom, Jack. He asked for wisdom. As much as I could give him."
"Ok," said Jack, suddenly, standing up and facing away from Nate, "give it to me. Joshmedia1 is not the author |