noakchukibadan:
Hello,
Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.
I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE
There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.
She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.
OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.
So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.
Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.
I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.
I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.
This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.
I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.
I really appreciate your honesty and maturity for taking up the responsibility of the choices you made in the past experiences rather than playing blame game..
I believe that these problems can still be resolved but both parties must come together and work it out... And this is where it seems impossible/difficult to accomplish but with God, it have
always been a different case..
Here are attributes, that you need to know about God though you might be aware of it but let it still serve as a reminder... These will be the standpoint of my counsel to you...
*He is the God of all flesh and nothing is too difficult for Him..*
_This your marriage no big pass God not even the convid-19 that is trending.._
_There is nothing impossible with God..._
*His standards can never be uttered despite Men's ideologies and opinions ie He absolutely HATE DIVORCE and will not lay it as a solution for you to embark on. many have treaded and wish to make a u-turn...*
_Please never rely on your own wisdom or men's opinions rather seek to know what God is saying about this issue..._
..
*Based on God's standards, Man has no legal right to change/transform his/her fellow man to his desired form/wish.. it is only God's reserve right to do so cos He owns and created man.. No wonder you run high of b.p trying to do a task that was not assign to you..*
_it is only God that can change any man.._
_In other not for you to have additional increase in b.p, carry your wife matter submit to God and let Him do what only God can do... Don't also forget to submit yourself too join..._ _No be only your wife get problem, your own matter fit worst past just say we never hear from the other side of the story..._
If you persist on following your natural instinct of divorcing your wife wch many have boldly suggested.. cos that is the only easy way out..
Be patient with her during this lockdown, find a convenient place outside home, go for 2-3days retreat and seek the face of God towards your martial life.. you can't tell me that you are successful in life when you marriage is burning..
Download these movies and take it along with you...
FIREPROOF
WAR ROOM
I believe that as you open your heart for God to help you.. he will guide you on the right path..
I earnestly hope that you will make the right choices in other that the events happening now will not repeat it self... you really need God to help you on this matter..
Family › Re: Time To Divorce My Wife? by Kachi2018(m): 11:44pm On May 05, 2020
