₦airaland Forum

thank-you so much. i am goin to focus on my studies and im goin to tell him straight what i think. ive fallen for it too many times, and now i think i deserve to move on. thanks for all the understandin people who have helped. i really am truly grateful. x

i dont want to do the wrong thing tho, and ive never been called insecure before. , but i supose its very true.
i dont know what hes got over me, i really dont. its just hard to try andd get over things. ive nearly done it before, its just everytime we start talkin again it gets worse and i fall for him again, like now. im goion to try my hardest though, i know he wouldnt mind if i didnt have sex with him. but its just the fact of lettin him down, i dont want to lose him. i want a proper relationship with him, just not one tht involves sex at this age.
i feel like a fool, but thanks to all of you, you really have helped me out ALOT, and made me see things a whole load differently. from now on im goin to make the decisions tht i feel are right.Bleep

i know i know.

okay, thankyou.
from now on im goin to try my best. x

well, if he doesn't love me even an atom, then why does he keep runnin back to me? and always remindin me of old times? im just fed up.
and yeah, ive always wanted to save my virginity until marriage, i might do that actually. but thing is, if im goin to let hal down, then how cna i do it in a way to make sure i dont lose him? because ive lost him so many times, and now that were close again, i dont want to lose him.
and yeah thanks kelvin, i am confused, and i know its probably just a teenage stage, and ill probably end up lookin back at this and laughin, but a this particular moment it just hurts so much. and i dont wnt it to sound cheesy or anything, but it does. i dont really know how else to explain it.

yeah i am a virgin. and i want my first time to be with someone i love, and thats hal. but it's difficult, i mean, i get the opitunity do have sex for the first time with someone i love, but i dont even know whether he likes me back. i told him i didnt want to be taken advantage off, and he said tht he isnt goin to take advantage. as far as i know, it would be his first time aswell.

and thanks posakosa.

mm, i do suppose so

same age as me.
ah, see, i had a feelin he was just using me, i guess i just didnt want to believe it.
and yes, i know im too young for tht sort of thing, but thing is, i love him so much, id rather carry on like this then lose him. and i know its wrong, but i just cant help it, i know you probly all think im a pafetic little teenager who doesnt know what true love is. but trust, ive been out with a lot of boys since i first went out with hal, and ive never been upset / felt like the way i do about hal.

and sorry, i dont understand what you mean by face your studies, please explain? x

okay, lets start with im only 14, nearly 15. i started goin out with this boy called hal in october 2007. he was a proper nice boy nd tht. probly one of the nicest people i knew. we were goin out until february 2008, where i found out he had a 'drunken kiss' with one of my friends. he said he regretted it and i took him back in March 2008, again, it was really good and i couldnt have been happier. but it got to around may 2008 time, and he was changing, he told me he didnt have feelings for me anymore and didnt feel the same. for me that was a MASSIVE shock, as he was so nice, and i always thought we were gna last.
soo, i left it, and we didnt tlk for months and months, even if we did it was just a 'hi, you okay?', 'yeah thanks im fine' and that was it,

but then, we started gettin closer, it got to around october 2008 and we saw eachother at a gig, we apologized to eachother and said we were friends again. i admit, i still had feelings for him. i never stopped havin feelings for him. and between the months we didnt tlk i would cry all the time, just at random points because of our break up. but anyway, we were gettin on reeally well, and it got to around november time, and i told him i liked him, we went down to watch the christmas lights and ended up becomin 'really' friendly, constantly hugging, gettin off, holding hands, i felt soo happy! even though we wasnt goin out. i just felt ontop of the world.
but just before christmas, he once again told me he didnt feel the same,

it got to around march 2009 andd again we started gettin close, we ended up gettin off, and he even let down another girl (called charlotte) because he liked me, butt unfortuantey i had to go on holiday in april, and whilst i was on holiday he made it up with this girl charlotte, and they were apparently gettin really close again, and when i came off holiday, i found out it was true. i saw him down the beach with her, but as soon as he saw me, he ran away. so after tht, we didnt really talk either.

then, it came to around the end of may 2009, and i was goin campin with him and his friends, (his friends are also my best friends too), and i had started to tlk to him about a week before campin, arrangin campin and tht. he was determined tht he wantd to get with me and do 'stuff', even though, he had told my friend rachel tht he liked her, anyway, it came to campin and i was huggin hal, he then asked me if i would do it with him, and thts when i was abit unsure and was like 'but whata bout rachel?', and all his reply was 'whatever happens at campin stays at campin!' , we didnt have sex, but we did do things. :/ i felt soo used, bcause three days later he was goin out with rachel. and once people found out what hal had done to me, they went mental, and noone really liekd him. and then i hadnt really spoken to him since then until 2 days ago,

i txtd him to see how he was, and he replied back, he was shocked tht i had textd him and apologized for bein a prick in the past. he said he had sorted his head out and wanted to settle down in his next relationship. he said how he was sorry for treatin me like crap an wanted to make it up to me by havin a film day, so ive invited him round mine next week,
BUT, i was tlkin to him last night and he seemed to be goin on alot about sex, and what we would do at our 'film day', and if i wanted to,
i dont really understand, he told me he had changed, wanted to settle down properly in his next relationship, yet his askin me if i want to have sex with him AGAIN after speakin to him for like 2 days?

i dont know whether hes usin me, or whether he actually likes me? i mean, weve been on and off for basivcally 2 years now, even he said it was weirdd how we bothh have been like it for so long. but i duno whether him askin me for sex is tellin me tht he likes me, or whether hes just gna use me and ditch me, like he did last time with rachel (but luckily we didnt have sex). im just so confused, what do you guys think?
thanks for readdin Bleep