₦airaland Forum

seedgreen:
The minute you realize that love has died in your relationship, that’s when you know that the end will soon be following in its wake.

Love is a very strange thing. No one can really give love a proper definition, because no two loves are the same. There is no greater force on earth that would be such a mystery for many. They say that love never dies a natural death, and I’m here to discuss what kills it.
When it comes to love, I admit that I am but a fool. What I have learned from love, I have drawn from experience. I can never really rely on books, because too many of them have turned out to be mere delusions of a beautiful mind.
Is there such thing as forever?
Being a lonely soul, I find myself wandering from place to place. I try to find meaning in my life, and perhaps listening to people’s stories gives meaning to my seemingly colorless life. One thing that fascinates me is listening to the stories of couples who have made their love last. I have learned the hard way that nothing really lasts in this generation. Everyone is so used to living a fast-paced lifestyle, even love gets cheapened in the process.
I have found love, lost love, only to find it again. Time and time again, I find myself picking up the fragments of my shattered heart. I would find solace in talking to people, in listening to their stories. I have become fascinated by what they have to tell me, because their stories of love make it seem all the more genuine, and not something that you could buy at the dollar store.
I’ve heard stories of people breaking up, telling me stories that they had “fallen out of love” or that there was “absolutely no chemistry left.” Stories like this leave me terrified. If nothing lasts forever, how could love?
Why people fall out of love with their partners
What exactly causes love to flee from a once perfect relationship? Here are 10 reasons why love, despite promises of forever, can sometimes wither away into nothingness.
#1 Love dies because of unrealistic expectations. When one is in love, one tends to get such unrealistic expectations of the entire relationship. While there is no harm in putting your partner on a pedestal, there is a fine line between idealism and being blind to the entire thing. Remember that all those romantic films and novels have a one-dimensional feel to the characters and situations, and your partner is only human, prone to weaknesses, biases, and faults.
Such is the beauty of real love, choosing to love someone despite all their frailties. Unrealistic expectations can kill relationships, because expectations can lead to disappointments when these expectations aren’t fulfilled. Unfulfilled expectations can then lead to feelings of inadequacy and betrayal, which ultimately cause a relationship to fail.
#2 Love dies because it wasn’t built on a solid foundation. When love is built on the weak foundation of self-doubt and dishonesty, it will eventually crumble. Even great s*xual chemistry isn’t solid enough a foundation to withstand the hurdles that your relationship may face. Friendship, as strong as it may be, can’t be the only foundation to work on, either.
You need trust, respect, and honesty. You need perseverance to get through love’s trials. Building a relationship on something as fleeting and flimsy as s*x, infatuation, or a mutual flirtation will only guarantee failure.
#3 Love dies because it wasn’t really love to begin with. I have heard many stories of couples falling out of love because they didn’t feel like it was love anymore. Most people fall into a state of infatuation during the start of their relationship, and they tend to look at everything through rose-colored glasses.
Once the honeymoon stage is over, they realize that things aren’t the way that they used to be. The thing about relationships, the real ones, is that it gets better when the two people involved grow and move forward together. In the case of infatuation, the connection is only as fleeting as the initial thrill of attraction.
#4 Love dies because of betrayal. Trust is an expensive gift, and one should never expect it from cheap people. How far does the saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” go? Truth be told, I have known what it was like to be with a cheater. I can tell you now that the experience is horrifying, and when one has been cheated on, one gets a feeling that one can never wholly trust again.
When one has been betrayed by the other, it can be hard to trust that person again. It is because of this that love dies a slow and painful death. It becomes like living in a personal hell, where your doubts and paranoia consume you and cause your relationship to crumble.

#5 Love dies because of fear. It’s okay to be afraid of losing your partner, but the problem arises when you’re so scared of losing them that you end up doing irrational things to keep them around. Sometimes, holding on to your partner too tightly can cause them to feel suffocated.
You may think that you’re just doing what it takes to make your partner happy, but you’d be surprised at how well people can smell fear and desperation. And when this invades your relationship, you’ll find that love gets pushed to the sidelines.
#6 Love dies because of the lack of growth. The years tend to change people, no matter how subtle the changes may be. Couples in a healthy relationship allow the years to help them to grow into better versions of themselves. They find ways to enrich their relationship, allowing it to mature with time.
However, there are some couples who try so hard to hold on to their honeymoon period that the relationship never progresses. There are also some couples who bring each other down as a way to keep each other on the same level. These actions only serve to stunt the growth of the relationship.
#7 Love dies because of old hurts and old lies. There are some old wounds that never really heal. It could stem from the hurt of betrayal or disappointment or resentment. Some old wounds can lead to grudges and pent-up anger. When these old issues remain unresolved, they fester and feed on whatever good things are left in the relationship, making the couple realize that their pain, anger, or resentment is stronger than the love they bear each other.
#8 Love dies when there is no trust or honesty in the relationship. The very foundation of a good, solid relationship is trust. When you find yourself constantly wondering where your partner is, or constantly doubting your partner, you know that there is something wrong with your relationship.
Trust is what holds the relationship together. Trust is what gives one peace of mind in a relationship. Very often, many have found that they have invested too much trust in a relationship, all for it to go to waste.
#9 Love dies because of incompatibility. While it is true that opposites can attract, it is compatibility that would be the deciding factor in a relationship in the long run. The honeymoon period of love would allow you to glaze over whatever faults and idiosyncrasies your partner might have. But time will eventually allow you to see if your relationship will last.
This would allow you to open your eyes to the truth, and sometimes, you’ll find that no matter how great things were from the start, your ultimate incompatibility will drive you apart.
#10 Love dies because romance took over. Let’s get one thing straight: romantic love has to die in order for a more mature love to grow and prosper. Romance can sometimes look and feel like real love, when in fact, it’s a façade that hides the true issues in a relationship.
Love isn’t all about romantic gestures and flowers and candlelit dinners. Couples must learn to shed the trappings of romance in order to see that love is also about hard work, overcoming trials together, and growing as a couple. When a couple is blinded by romance, they see love, but it’s an incomplete picture.

When you find that the love in your relationship has died, don’t let hope die with it. You can mourn and grieve, but in the end, you must know that you’ll have to get up and move forward

Always include your link

http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/depressing-reasons-love-dies-in-a-relationship

MrCuddles:
The 8 types of guys you meet while online dating who will make you want to sew your genitals shut

1. Person who makes you feel like a loser for being on a dating site..
He prefixes every message with “I’d be so embarrassed if anyone saw me on here”, sent from a pictureless profile, alongside assurances that he’s “really good-looking” and have brown hair IRL.
He hasn’t dared to fill out their profile because, you know, that’s identifying information – but he “knows you’d get on”.
What it boils down to: He’s ashamed to have sunk to your level – and he’s rubbing your face in how sad and desperate you are. Like a puppy who has pissed on the carpet.

2. Pick-Up Artist who can’t stop ‘negging’, in the mistaken belief it’ll make you sit up and beg..
He’ll either write to you IN ALL CAPS or send you something so bizarrely insulting that at first you think you’ve opened an email from your mother.
He’ll pick apart your profile and send you an unsolicited list of things he doesn’t like about you. You’re too scared to open your laptop in case he’s still there.
He is. He’s sent you another 12 emails berating you for your ‘rudeness’ at not replying, declaring that you’re a ‘fat slag’ anyway and no one else will want you.
What it boils down to: He wants to knock your self-esteem until you don’t feel above dating him. Great plan.

3. Man who thinks a funny hat is a substitute for a personality..
If this were a pop band, he’d be the one that doesn’t really do much, but is wearing his trousers back to front and has a haircut that could only have been generated using a lawnmower.
He’s not like the other online daters – there’s a photo of him wearing a giant sombrero, another posing next to an extraordinarily large or an extraordinarily small object. Could he be a little person or is he a giant? WE JUST DON’T KNOW!
If you go on a date with him, he’ll take you to a comedy club and talk over the acts until you want to punch yourself.

4. The vanishing act..
You’ve swapped a few messages – he likes all the same stupid crap that you like and given you his last name so he’s clearly not a serial killer. Then, he vanishes. What it boils down to: There are only two possible reasons for this: a) He’s gone off you, b) He’s died. For your own sanity, accept no. 2 as fact.

5. The false advertiser..
If he were a toaster you’d bought in Spar you’d not only ask for your money back, you’d send a strongly-worded letter to the CEO.

Let’s be honest – those photos were not of him. Unless, between now and uploading them, he was buried in Pet cemetery and forced to claw his way out.

6. The instant relationship..
You replied to his message, so he’s told his mum and dad and sister and cat about you.
He asks you to be his date to a wedding. You wake up to 30 messages. He’s scared you’re cheating on him.
You get that sense of euphoria people get before they drown and briefly consider giving in and letting the warm, waves of crazy envelop you. At least you won’t die alone.

7. The guy who ignores your entire profile in favour of your picture..
He’s chosen to remain blissfully oblivious to the details that indicate you won’t be a match made in heaven.
For example – you’ve specified that you only date redheads and he’s brunette, he has a nut allergy and your lower body is made entirely of peanuts. Or, most likely, they fall well above or below your desired age range.
His mating call is ‘hi. U r hot’.
What it boils down to: a) He can’t read, b) he can’t be bothered to read or c) he doesn’t care about your boundaries and needs.

8. The poet..
His emotions run so deep that they can only be conveyed by song lyrics. If you’re doubly unlucky, they’ll be his own song lyrics.
You can recognise him by his pathological fear of capital letters, love of *over emphasising* with asterisks, use of archaic words and general reluctance to admit that technology has progressed since the 1900’s. He’ll type his messages on a typewriter and deliver them on penny farthing. Though his profile will have been posted from an expensive Apple product.
He’ll insist on meeting you at a bandstand in the rain, but won’t show up because he got distracted by the beauty of the world, or his reflection on a shiny surface.
What it boils down to: Everything you say or do is simply fodder for his latest poem, column, song or blog post.

Always post your links.
Stop plagiarizing peoples work and making everyone think you were the one that wrote it

Stop copying and pasting stuff from the internet without including the link.

http://usvsth3m.com/post/61503266256/the-8-types-of-guy-you-meet-online-dating-who-will-make

Jollyjoy:
shut up ur mouth, i say shut up. I am at liberty to use whatever word that pleases me. I post LoOSED NOT LOST! And i like it dat way, stoping fooling urself, ode.

It's "posted" not "post", and it's "stop" not "stopping"

Olodo.

Jollyjoy:
yours is a loosed case.

It's *lost*, not *loosed*. Olodo

saaedlee:
Being Pro Women shouldn't make you Anti-men

Anti-men? I am just stating a fact.

The title speaks for itself. As for me, I believe it's the ladies.

Most the male folk here behave like kids. You hardly see them making reasonable contributions. It's always the ladies that make sensible comments.

You male folk should upgrade and act maturely even if it is for a day.

Dickk:
Even if trolls are to be dealt with and hopefully eradicated, you don't do it by insulting every members with a lame cover up story. Darn!

Okay.

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]You come from the same place with someone I know. [/color]

Who?

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]Which gun will you prefer? Uzi, dane gun, shotgun, ak47, pistol, locally made I pass my neighbor gun? [/color]

I am sure the next thing you will ask me is what bullet you will use

Stop whining me jor.

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]I'll kill you after telling you, but I have to know how you want to die. [/color]

Just shot me. Right in my lungs or in my heart. That way, I would die quickly and painlessly.

Oya tell me the coincidence.

Silly kids are just roaming this section freely.

nope:
I heard that this is a real thing.

You are an obdurate fool.

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]That wasn't the arrangement. [/color]

There was never any arrangement. You said you would have to kill me if you told me what the coincidence was.

I agreed to die by your hands provided you told me.
We never discussed whether you I was to tell you the method you would use in killing me first.

So, just tell me the coincidence, onye ngwa

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]How would you like to die? [/color]

Tell me the coincidence first, then I will tell you.

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]Ok. When would you like to die? [/color]

Now.

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]If I tell you, I'll have to kill you. [/color]

Tell me and kill me, I don't care.
Just tell me.

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]What a coincidence. [/color]

What coincidence?

Danosaur007:
katherinna or whatever you call yourself I have noticed that you are having a bad day but that doesn't give the right to go to threads and vomit rubbish.. use ur brain.. off phone and sleep

Please you all should Shut-up and mind your business. In doing that, also try not to mention me when you are immersed in your foolishness, cause I will feel it dripping off you and I can't stand the stench.

To many kids in the section mehn.

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]I bu onye ngwa? [/color]

Mba. Abum onye isiama afara-ukwu.
But mmam bu onye mbaise. O mbaise ka ana ma su.

Ibu onye ngwa? Isiama di close to ngwa.

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]Typo gets blamed a lot these days, nwata nwanyi. [/color]

It's typo na.
Biko haffum ka'm me' ihe m na'eme

ZedX6:
[color=#150000]Calm down.

It's "your".[/color]

Typo.

McEwen:
So we should fry you plantain chips

[size=15pt]Ode!!![/size]

You see why I said most of you on this section are kids.

You didn't analyze the contents of my post before you insulted me.

Don't you think? Cause if you did you would have known that your thread was dumb.

Dumb question. Who else would die first if not the little guy with the thin neck.

You all just feel you can create threads and ask foolish question because you have the leverage to right?

No seen one single sensible thread since I became active today.

boynigeria:
well, to answer ur question dumbdumb, my worst Topic on Nairaland is beta than ur best thought in life

I know people like u, u walk around with a baggage of negativity and u see every other person's though and idea as been fooolish without u ever coming up with something at all
shows how shallow of a thinker u are

Exactly my point. Most of you are quick to insult and retaliate without carefully analyzing the comment directed at them.

It's obvious you are just a little kid. I will leave it at that.

EroticAngelina:
who be this one

u just registered, and the first impression u make of urself is like dat of a nagging mad woman who has been seeing her period for 5months without break... and ur here speaking of 'romancelanders' being kids.

like seriously u don't need to surround urself with 'secondary school kids' there are other sections.

what a pompous biiitch.

Take a look at yourself and carefully analyze your lame comments.
When you are done, reply me and apologize.

Another stupid question asked in the last 5 minutes.

What sort of section is this, please. Can someone explain in detail why people just ask stupid questions for no reason at all.

Jollyjoy:
wat kind of person are u? U neva cease to amaze, if this topic is trashy,then u are an id.io.t for adding to it senselesnes by posting rubbish.

I never cease to amaze you? Have we met before?

Look young lady, never you quote me unless you have something meaningful or reasonable to say.
Do you understand?

What sought of dumb question is this? These are the kind of questions that give me the impression that this section is filled with kids.

For your information mr uniben student, nobody has the power to determine how many ex's she has. Neither is there any laid out guide as to how many a lady should have.

A lady can have 6, another can have 10 another can have even 30. So is life. It's not like she has the power to control it.

What's most important is that she settles down with the right one.

Teempakguy:
hello, Blackett.

Excuse me?

eipreel:
Chai!this is harsh

The truth is harsh girl.

eipreel:
Chai!this is harsh

The truth is harsh girl.

Of course, you belong to category 9 and another group you didn't mention.
~~ Foolish people who create senseless, trashy threads such as this.