₦airaland Forum

jay bee:
Yes he lied but he has already owned up to that fact and I'm pretty sure you must have liked this dude enough to have allowed him manipulate your emotions.
I honestly don't think lies about the number of kids or his height is enough reason to give up something that appears genuine/good.

I would have understood your concern if this dude was a serial cheat, hopeless, violent et al but you have said nothing but praises about this dude so make sure you really do think about this before making your final decision.

How long do you guys normally spend together whenever either visits?

Thanks so much for the responses, I really appreciates this.

You are right, I let him manipulate me because, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I care so much about him because, I know how he feels about me and I appreciates him for that. But, I ended up hurting myself and now hurting him too. He's nice, very nice but, what if there are many other lies and ugly ones at that? Imagine if he’s still very married!

In the past when i visited him i stayed up to two weeks respectively and when he visited he stayed up to a month.

Yes, I can forgive but am so scared there might be so many other lies I might discover later. Marriage is not a joke and one has to be very careful. I have a kid already and that is a big deal in African society, if it doesn't work out after marriage you and I know what the society will say, "she's the one with the problem, after having a kid she still can't keep a marriage and blah blah blah".

jennykadry:
And how do you know he is not the special person God has for you?

Because try as hard as i could, I just can't love him. Secondly, that thought "what if he's the one God sent to me" let it get this far.

jay bee:
^^^^
Am i right in concluding that your only beef with this dude is because he is few inches shorter than you?

Bottom line is you know your heart and it's always advised to follow one's heart so if you can't give all then break it off

No jay, Am upset because he lied to me and manipulated my emotions.

I made a lot of mistakes and unfortunately I have to lie on my bed as I laid it.

I believe he ought to have told me the truth no matter what. So, i will say yes, am pissed off but i never showed it (my mistake again).

His face is cute but the physique is not. I'm quite taller than him (he told me he was 5"10) and i found out later he is 5"5. It's my fault and I know that, I should have let it go immediately he left UK but I didn't.

Am so sorry I have to bore you with this long chapter and verses please bear with me.

I’ve been in this relationship for a year now. We actually met online and exchanged pictures and he looked good in the pics he sent to me (though I didn’t get to see his full posture which I later realized I should have asked for) I was in UK while he is in Canada. We started off as friends and later became lovers. He told me he was divorced with two kids and since I have one (kid) am ok with that. We chatted every single day on line with webcam and he looked good to me.

The communication between us was sooo great that I fell in love with him even before we met. During this period of constant communication he spilled on phone one day that he has four kids. I was shocked because he told me he had two but he denied ever telling me two and insisted he said four. Fine, I didn't want to create so much drama so, I let it go. Few days later he mentioned on phone to me again, that he was quite afraid and didn't know how to spill it to me that he has four kids and I was like, dude you are confusing yourself (I actually meant you are not telling the truth) still, l let go. A week before he visited the UK he asked me if I would recognize him from the crowd at the airport and I was like yeah! I mean, “I know what you look like”. He asked me over and over again and I gave the same response. Three days before his arrival to the UK he sent me another sets of pics and told me those are his pics (here I can see his full posture). The second sets of pics are totally different from the first sets and I knew he played me. He practically told me the first sets of pics are those he took seven years before. Men! Was I mad? Yeah I was!

Three days later he visited the UK and we met. I knew from the moment I set my eyes on him that he’s not the one for me. The thing is he's not really my kind of guy but he's such a very nice guy with a great attitude and that kind of soften my heart.

I wanted to pull the plug on the relationship after he left the UK but my friends advised me to give it another three months and after then, if am not convinced then I can finally call it off. I was scared of never finding true love, never been love in return and that scares the hell out of me. I remembered all I’ve been through with men (the ones I fell in love with and how they were so unfair to me) and I wondered if I will ever find it right and how long it will take. That made me settled down a bit to give the relationship a real trial. It’s been a year and he’s been talking Marriage! Marriage! Marriage! I know I can never love this guy and I honestly DON”T TRUST HIM! If he could hid such important things from me about himself (kids and his look) then I believe there might be many significant things he’s hiding from me as well. I’ve visited him in Canada twice and he lives alone and has a great job. Though, I haven’t met his kids who are in Paris with his ex-wife. He was able to get my mum mobile's line from my phone when I visited him in Canada and called her without my knowledge or approval after I left Canada and even went as far as sending stuff to her. He sent a car, plasma TV, Air Conditioner and so many kitchen appliances and my mum was all over him already. To make matters worse he and mum are both from Ijebu Igbo and my mum knows his family very well, she said so many nice things about them. My mum already discussed with my dad without my knowledge and they told me they want to meet this great guy. That was the last straw for me and I just had to finally pull the plug. I appreciates all the stuff he did for my mum and all that but, I believe he went too far and was trying to manipulate me.I've told him we have to call the relationship off but he kept calling my mum and telling her I'm confuse. I told my mum he's not the one for me but my mum kept telling me her pastor saw a vision and that this is the right man for me. I know I have to take a lot of blame here. I shouldn’t have let it get this far but, I’ve realized my mistakes and i know it's too late to cry over split milk.


I recently relocated to Nigeria despite knowing he can never live in Nigeria again (just to make him realize that it can’t work). Still he’s not letting go. Please guys what should I do.

I'm a very busy and hardworking young lady. I hardly have time for myself because of my job plus I recently relocated to Nigeria. I was wondering if anyone in the house could help with some information 'bout nice places one can relax and have fun in Lagos (I don't do night clubs). I love jazz club and decent spots for mature minds.

Thanks.

I'm a very busy and hardworking young lady. I hardly have time for myself because of my job plus I recently relocated to Nigeria. I was wondering if anyone in the house could help with some information 'bout nice places one can relax and have fun in Lagos (I don't do night clubs). I love jazz club and decent spots for mature minds.

Thanks.