₦airaland Forum

Cullinane:
Mr man STFU abeg. You claim say you get level and yet your wife dey show you pepper. I just got my US green card this week. But I am already a Senior Software Engineer working remotely online for 2 companies, one in the US and another in Canada. I earn over 18000 USD per month transferred monthly into my Naija domiciliary account although things will all change when I relocate to the US to join my parents and siblings shortly. Which level you think say u get? If say u get level, as your wife don dey Bleep up, you for bone the UK thing begin dey make plan B but like the f**lish simp that you are, you invested all your money in a woman that is not worth it. Is that the definition of wisdom? Men like you with your weak nature are the ones spoiling all these Nigerian girls, making them behave in a useless manner.

When you enter UK, na you go dey wash plate, clean toilet while your wife dey Netflix and chill up and down. Mumu man. Instead of you to take charge and fix your personal issues like a real man, you run to Nairaland like a weakling, seeking validation and directions from online strangers who don't give a f**k about you. I wish you a whole ton of luck bro. Cos you are gonna need every single inch of it.

Your dumb aass could have probably said yourd and moved da eff on, why call me simp and degrade whim birthed my kids, na so u dey run ur own wife? If i come here come express myself, he concern ur fagbon? Abi make i find u 4 by 4 land for ur head. You can imagine comparing whats real life and more of a pressing issue to me unlike ur dumbo who came here to ask people that a ladyis giving you ultimatum to cum in her a$$$ or shes done with u, seeking advice for such ish doesnt make u the simpest mugu in the whole wild world?

Cullinane:
Exactly. Weak man. Instead of him to take action, he is coming to Nairaland to seek validation. Now im wan carry head enter UK with the kids. That im yeye wife go use am see shege, collect the kids, kick him to the streets or prison and move another man into the house he paid for. Kai!!!

weak man this weak man that, can you ever even be at my level? So STFU

Cullinane:
Mumu simp. You wife go use your eye see shege for UK. You never see anything yet.

stfu

Cullinane:
Abeg where is your wife originally from in Nigeria and what city did she live in before she travelled out? So guys can be aware and avoid marrying women from those areas. Prevention is better than cure.

STFU

skj1377:
Looks like you have your wife back, congratulations once again or at least your winning for now. She has compared you and the other guy(s) and still prefers you probably loves you still and wants everything back to normal. Besides,she knows why your angry with her. Secondly, looks like she is blocking the guy from seeing her because she already has emotions invested. If not for such a thing she would simply go to the church and ignore the guy in such a manner that he will be wondering if he did something wrong(serious women don't joke with their husband). I don't think my previous post is applicable to your wife in the light of this new development reason is because of the way you say she behaves lately . My previous post is applicable to another kind of woman not your wife . At this point, I think you should compliment your wife for her little achievements so far and tell her how special she is to you and how jealous you are of her talking with Mr Mike about her "behind"( ask how he noticed it) kindly state " it will make you a happy man if she promised never to speak with Mr Mike again for whatever reason ", also remind her what your redlines are incase she has forgotten. I hope this will bring Mr Mikes chapter to a close besides let her make friends with women and not married or single men. Let it be a woman trying To Help her settle down or do favours for her. A mature man and a woman can't be "just friends" tell her if she doesn't know.

She had blocked the guy probably for some reasons, i.e I threatened that I may not come to the UK if she continues doing things that wont give us peace. secondly might be because I told her that the guy was disrespectful by commenting about her backside, that she knows for herself what ough tto be done after then, which is to seize communication with him. Whichever one though, though she to me personally that she believes its because of her the dude might want to go to the church, so as to avoid any form of further familiarity, shes staying home.

You see those passionate expressions that you said I should express dont work for me and madam, its 11 years I know what am talking about, the moment I start, few hours later she go change nd begin to show me pepper, the only way she stays sane is when i ignore, or I dont show no feelings, the only mere thing is to express sexual urge and how i want to kpansh her bad when i reach,.

Treadway:
Hmmm..again, so you think. Since you guys have already damned everything and crossed the rubicon, all this 16pages of talk no really matter again. Yes, you would have to continue with the plan, but also you will lneed to be very very smart to stay ahead of whatever is to come, cos all I can tell you like many have said already, is that some shi is brewing. I hope for your sake that all works out for you/her, cos this one wey you talk is what we call 'enu dun ro efo', it is either said than done.

Ps: I don't/didn't believe for a second she blocked that guy. All this talk about the wife of the guy calling just further confirmed that.

Oh well I know how to figure that out, but when I thought about it, it was not like she came forward herself to say the wife called her, it was after my friend called me to ask hafa and she asked me who it was , was when she made the statement, so if it was a made up story, could she have instantly delivered the statement just like that? Anyways person are smarter in different ways when it comes to deceit and manipulations.

Yankiss:
I dont believe you. They have. She is just trying to key him in incase he discovers something untoward later. She's trying to create excuses for her whenever he finds out. If you read between the lines, this man has never trusted that wife. There are reasons for the distrust. He allowed her go first as he explained, just for better chances of visa. But that's where the mistake lay. What was he relocating for? He has enough to start a business in Nigeria and just visit abroad or send his children there to study. I dont think any man should give himself bp monitoring a loose cannon. I dont understand the reason for the post. OP is in a better position to advice himself. With this kind of mindset, there's bound to be an issue or two. Only him can take the decision. My advice is this. 1. He should travel alone and observe the woman for some time. If all seems okay, he may relocate the children as well. Alternative 2. Ignore her there as a mistake and forge on in Nigeria with the children. If OP is not careful, he will only be compounding the issues further. If it turns out she is straying, it would be difficult to manage her ever again. And the children in her custody there especially if minors is a big issue for him. He will be paying for welfare, yet she would poison their minds against him. I know of a guy who sent his wife to Canada and later joined him there. The guy was doing well as a manager in a company in Nigeria. He was poisoned by the so-called wife when he came to join her because she was already deeply cosy with another man. Another guy in same country sent his wife first and came later. The woman went there and became a different person. The upshot is that today, the guy man is back to Nigeria, has no access to his children. All his sweat and earnings abroad annexed by the wife and children in Canada.

This your point MAY be valid, but you know in this life you may never know the main truth until you have 100% evidence, but based on instinct and how the whole thing played out there may be something IDK. Take for example now, yesterday my friend who did referencing for us called me how far about the new guy I wanted to refer cos I already told him about the dude at first b4 all the suspicion came in, I was like the guy has not gotten back yet, though he was gonna charge him some money to do the ref. But then I was on call with madam when he called on the other line and she asked who that was, I was like my friend that helped us, she was not like do you still want to help? I was like if he calls me back I MIGHT tell him that i want to forward his number to the guy so they can relate directly while I comot my hand for the matter as I really d not want to talk to anybody. Fastforward till yesternight, my guy did not call me, I sent him a message though that I wanted to send his number over, but neither did he call or responded to my message. Na him madam later on that day told me that the guy's wife has called her, that since she blocked the dude, he didnt know the number that called but it happened it was the wife and she was like shes so so so person wife,that my husband said I should ask howfar with the reference and bla bla, I was like wow, should it get to that, how can you be the only one that they see that can render help. Madam said babes, there is nothing to hide hence her persistence in getting them help and her telling me over n over again. I was like oh well if my guy calls me I will ask him that I want to send his number to the family who needs his help. Me and madam come get plan sey we wan do phone s3x at around 1am when everyone dun sleep for her side, as I call her sey make we begin, omo the first thing wey she go talk na sey hafa this dude, i sey which dude, she sey the guy na, i sey wetin happen, she said we were suppose to conect him to my friend, that can she get the number now and forward to him? I was like whats all this na, as far as I have withdrawn myself for this reference matter, I still dey try make i help but in a distanced way , u still dey solicit like sey na mandate, sebi na me tell you sey when my guy get back to me i will ask for permission to forward his number, why the persistence, and why be sey when we wan catch fun, u nor even wait for us to start and finish na the guy matter u first bring come. I just vex sey i wan go sleep, she come beg me sey make i nor vex, me just tell am sey for the sake of sanity, make she just bone both the wife and the guy finally like this cos the persistence dun dey make the whole thing more glaring sey something more is to it and I really do not care and dont want to be forced into feeling that way.

You see your advise of travelling alone and all that nor go possible. The plan outlined will be carried out, if anything goes fine, no problem, if it doesnt, I will gladly come back to nija, even if i lose custody to the kids, divorces me and all, I go pay C support, I should be capable to handle that financial aspect while I also attend to my own life.

occfx:
Oh yea I forgot she is mummying 3 kids... However, consider your mental health. Women can emotionally kill a man before his time, avoid it.

I have been handling this over the last 11 years, not like am being complacent, but God will handle the rest for me.

occfx:
Truth doesn't sound nice but we have to say it anyways . That woman is riding you and your only option is to prioritize your happiness. Anything that will make you happy should be your selfish desire. Just let her be and move on, if not you may not survive the shockers.

Na so them dey leave woman wey u dun dey with for 11 years and 3kids? I understand that the recent occurrences are sort of bad, but he dun reach level wey i go talk sey i wan leave am for there? Abeg anything wey wan happen make he happen

occfx:
OP is lost already.. He should just commot mind where that woman dey. Find another big nyyash for Nigeria dey fire. A lot of big nyyashes here. Let her enjoy herself, she is been longing for this freedom. Oga OP is just a SIMPle man already.

STFU

For the person saying classes dont hold at that time, we have done video school severally when she's at class codedly seeing her lecturer delivering lectures, so do ur findings for uel and u will verify what I just said.

The 27million was not in bulk, I had like 9 million cash, so I had to work extra hard, did other side businesses to raise the rest, so it wasnt like the 27 milly was by the side. You guys saying i couldnt have relocated if I had such amount of money need to understand that we all have different view of this life and how we all plan to succeed and make a better living for ourselves. I have chosen this path because it aint like shes the one that brought the idea, I did, am this kind of guy that love to stay in my country, but with the situation of the country, I personally got tired and the best thing for me is just to move asap.

People should consider the fact that Nigeria is on the brink of total collapse, he go remain small if civil war nor go happen. Now talk of insecurity, helthcare, education, all is gone, shey as i get funds to move my children comot for here nor be better thing? I will rather be in that country where more power is given to women than sey i come dey nija wey everything don scatter, how much sef be 27 million with this whack economy? The money cannot yield any meaningful value hence part of my reason japaing.

Wow post made FP. I wasnt surprised though cos I poured my heart out. For some people saying Mr Mike is the same as the person looking into her phone, no I never said so, Mr Mike is the man she met in school the very first day she went for registration, the man lives in London, while my madam lives in luton, which is outside London, the guy in question she met between town but he also live in luton.

As for the guy asking which school shes in, shes in uel and not Bedfordshire.

Guys ever since I stopped making I miss u calls, just like I said, she has started bombarding me with calls which I take and we talk normal, but then she now thinks am doing shady things, saying to reach u these days is hard, where were u, have u gotten home and all that. This recent events now made he bring up the guys issue once again friday night. She said she really wants me to get the job so she would really want me to link up with the dude, this time I went beserk and warned her again but this time severely that I do not want to have anything to do with someone that you have allowed disrespect and downgraded me, I said if his connect wont work, then i will get another. Yesterday she called me and said well we dont need that yeye guy's connect again, that she checked online and saw agencies that could help secure that kind of job.Today now so I dey ask am why she nor dey prepare for church, she sey she no want trouble because of the guy, sey infact he fit be sey na because of her the guy go wan go the church that she would rather stay back and that she has even blocked him. Oh well I am leaving soon, whatever the case is, I cannot die, I will only excel, I know myself

Nonexisting1:
That nigga is not just kpanshing your wife, they live together. If you doubt me, call your wife video call while she is at home and during the call, focus on the background and noise. Oga, that nigga is currently accommodating and providing her basic needs there in London. As for wetin you go see when you join her, may God have mercy on you because the marriage I dey see so is heading to destruction especially with your kind of person too.

What kind of person do you perceive me to be? Besides madam temporarily stays with her step brother, where u hear sey sey she need money and the guy dey give her basic needs? Una go just dey formulate story wey nor add up all in the name of sey u wan contribute to post.

beelon1020:
Bro’s sorry about this, but I tell you, that mr mike don dey bang your wife,..
1. How did he know she got big backside?... because he has seen it.. but your wife will deny this ofcorse...
2. You see what happened in the video call? That was a planned move by her, they were together before your call came in...
3. Both of them have been dating behind you, she is just trying to balance her actions...
you see a friend of mine bleeping a married naija lady here,.. the bleeping na brutal one... but anytime the husband called from naija, she no go pick, when she pick, the guy go hide him other room for them to talk, after she finished video and phone calls with hubby... omo bleeping continued o!
Honestly I was surprised to find out how women are generally lose in here and most Western world...
Heard many cases among my homies here, banging many married women... mostly during winter... that cold hennnn! It’s well o
At this point.. reset your mind set OGA... be prayerful, watchful and be very observant... all the best..

Lol, bro I understand u, but Mr Mike is different from this guy, that one na na Ibukun, see ehn all these things wey u talk na just assumption, but I wont rule out the possibilities of these things to have happened. Most especially that video call matter, I thought she had told the guy to move to the back sey her hubby dey call. But no worry, na this life we still dey.

priceactionx:
This is likely what is going to happen, the guy in question will get the accommodation even if he doesn't get references through you. He will bond very well with your wife and probably be her closest friend. He has started lusting after her and your wife knows that well.
She will likely be visiting him, in his new accommodation just to survive and get herself going. Sex or whatever may not come now because the guy will be afraid to do anything nasty to avoid being jailed.
BUT..... You will keep having issues if you are not careful and the guy will be fueling it just to get to her pants..

One day she wont come home because of the wahala you are giving her and will sleep in that guy house. That's how it will start. The whole thing will begin when you have big quarell which is close by. Just let her settle very well first and also the guy. It will likely go on and on and you won't know.

You are the second class in your own house now either you believe or not. You are a nanny now in your own house.
As you allow her to be the primary holder, then expect alot of shitz in the coming weeks and months when she is totally settled.
She has interest in that guy too may be to update her account and meet up expenses.
Sorry for now, there is nothing you can do than to work your self out personally not minding what ever she does. Zero your mind totally. Abroad is difficult now to survive and every opportunity thrown to a naija girl, she will accept not minding if she is married or not. The handwriting is there. Abroad is different from naija. If you over step your boundaries with her, you might land back to naija in a tinkle of an eye And loose all.
The choice is yours. You can't control her and she won't listen to you either.

Oga pause your imaginative story, if truly like she told me the guy is married with 4kids, her wife and 1 of the kids stay together in the UK, how the hell will your above assertion come to fruition?

4ward4:
I feel sorry for you, because you are a good principled husband whose family interest is number 1.
I learnt never to be at the mercy of a Woman, Las Las you will be disgraced. Reason why you can't find a woman picking up a man from the trenches and transforming his Life. But 70% of men are stock with broke women but joy giver.
It is natural, women are attracted to superior men and men are attracted to weak and shy women.Reason why one particular Religion subdue women, the know the exact power of a woman in whoring around (sorry that might be too harsh and I intend no disrespect, but it is a fact for some good amount of women)
Her recent display is of serious concern and to be honest, it won't be an easy ride for you. Marriage is like a Ship and you the man Is the captain never for once hand this over to a woman, that you just did.

According to the emboldened part of your post, how did I hand over the captain badge to her? By taking her abroad?

advanceDNA:
Mayb the guy no pass well....or mayb he don too old....and mayb e make better sense for the lady to apply for the masters because of higher chances of getting in....thats the sacrifice some men make for family yet women commonize it as their right and nothing

Bro the emboldened makes your statement right, and words on Marble, I have spent over 27 million naira on the japa process, and still have more to spend ahead. It is indeed a sacrifice, but bro, she nor even send or appreciate anything, but me nor send cos na the children be the koko. Infact the agent that arranged everything duped me of 3k pounds, I arrested him, going from the station to and fro, only for madam to be expressing sympathy towards the guy that he feels pity for him that hes arrested, but what about me that spent the money and stressing out to arrest the guy and going to and fro? Am i not human, am I not to be the one in the position of being sympathetic towards?

duduade:
Stay back in Nigeria while the kids join their mother... You can be visiting them ....and vice versa where they can be visiting you in Nigeria

This was my initial plan, because me sef nor like stay abroad, I love my country even though things are hard, but the major problem na if she go school who wan stay with kids, if she go work who wan stay with the kids, and to hire a nanny in the UK is like 50 pounds or more per day.

papito737:
Hmmm. How do people manage in marriages like these?
If your story is true, these are signs that there are many things going on with and in her that you probably dont know about. If this continues, you guys would separate at last.
Be a man, take the hard decision. Let her and your kids be the dependent ones, not you.
Also, it is better to live a good and peaceful life in Nigeria than a bad one - which you would later regret - in the UK.

Bro the deed is done already, for the visa procedure we had to make her the applicant, cos women are attended to faster and guaranteed to be given visa. I definitely feel something that I dont know but only suspicious of is going on there judging from the incidences that happened, but then man go sojunu.

PerfectStranger:
Just ghost her for sometimes, no call no text. Act like you care less about her then observe.

If she doesn’t call or notice your ghost mode, then sorry man, her feelings for you is a goner.

This is exactly what I did over the last 2 days now, and guess what, she has been stalking me with calls. I only call her when there is something important to discuss, but calls based on, i miss u and all of that nor even dey again, the moment she noticed I have drifted from showing affection over calls, she started bombarding me with calls complaining that I don't call her.

Okonandmary:
You will lose your wife soon.
Just a little freedom and she is misplacing her priorities.

Sometimes i winder why it is difficult for some women to play along as a team reaching a goal with their husbands

I will advice you not to worry yourself, the cure for this isn't to run yourself down with hypertension. Stop caring and acting like you cant live without her.

This is exactly what I did over the last 2 days now, and guess what, she has been stalking me with calls. I only call her when there is something important to discuss, but calls based on, i miss u and all of that nor even dey again, the moment she noticed I have drifted from showing affection over calls, she started bombarding me with calls complaining that I dont call her.

Ebubu:
omo kukuma dey for nigeria where u get better authority to stamp ur feet as a man.

abroad no send you and at a yielding point, ur wife go take advantage of that society cos seeing it as she is, she get strong head and “i can do it on my own head”.


stubbornness dey her blood

i’ve dated her type

I cant stay here, we have sold almost everything, visa is running, accommodation already secured. But I know sey God dey sha.

Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty. Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that its not too much because am a responsble father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok..after enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3kids behind until she can secure accomodation b4 we leave. I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didnt take enough money and going back home might not be possible,I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registeration, I was like thats wrong, you dont form familiarity with someone you just met in another mans country, i said I will call la friend in liverpool to send you money and u could get ur train ticket, she fumed, but I stood my ground and said thats how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, i was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didnt make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didnt u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to luton, over an hour journey at night. Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and shes using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she wont be having access to internet, etc whatsapp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of gps google map, thats what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself , I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that shes leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up. Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didnt even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you dont need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this london nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating. The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate. I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly, i have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty.

Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that it's not too much because am a responsible father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok.. After enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3 kids behind until she can secure accommodation b4 we leave.

I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didn't take enough money and going back home might not be possible, I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registration. I was like that's wrong, you don't form familiarity with someone you just met in another man's country, I said I will call a friend in liverpool to send you money and you could get your train ticket. She fumed, but I stood my ground and said that's how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, I was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didn't make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didn't u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to Luton, over an hour journey at night.

Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and she's using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she won't be having access to internet, etc WhatsApp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of GPS google map, that's what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself. I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that she's leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up.

Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didn't even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you don't need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this London nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating.

The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate.

I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly.

I have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?