₦airaland Forum

Hugose:
Shikena, in this economy nobody be big man. If what you want is important to you, dont wait for someone to come to your aid. Your brother is 24, he can carry block, fry akara, drive keke, or learn a tech skill that can support his education than wait for mommy or you just because our messed up society tends to put too much pressure on elder ones to support the younger ones like say na we born them or we no get our own life to live. If he is too ashamed to hustle for his future, he is not ready.

You cannot climb a mountain carrying too much luggages, it's a whole lot easier to help others when you have reached the top of the mountain than when you are still climbing.

Thank you so much, he is very lazy and want to depend on others , i will not give him a kobo until he learn how to hustle

kingsolomonjnr01:
He must be lazy.
I'm 22 years old and self sponsoring Myself in the university.
Please don't fall for ur mother's attitude.
Ur daughter first!.

No give shishi

Thank you so much for saying the truth

Omookunnimi:
Life is full of risk. There is a saying in my place that "if husband/wife reject you, your parents will accept you". My own advice is that you can give your mother #20,000.00 or directly to your brother without them paying back. You see, if your mother eventually tell your brother about you refused to help them at this time, he may never forget this for a long time. Mother is very unique. You have the options of moving to your in-law house but you choose to stay with your mother, therefore their problems become yours since yours also become their at this time.

I am not worrying about her telling him which i believed she had already told him and i don't care if he hold grudges against me it won't bother me. I didn't choose to stay with my mum i wanted to rent a room but hubby said i should stay with my mum , their problems can become mine if i have enough to offer since i don't have anything to offer i will not kill myself. If i recklessly spend the money and become broke they will be the first one to mock me before outsiders that's why i should spend it wisely to avoid the story that touch the heart

Hugose:
You are not wrong sis.

The next thing she will say is she carried your for 9 months and this is how you pay her. Especially if you are ibo.

Right now the most important person in that house is your daughter. If there is food in the house she must eat first, if you receive money she must have the first share. Even the oxygen in the house must be given to her first.

Every other person can manage what's left.

Your brother can find a way around his fees. The reason why your mom's eyes are chookin inside the money is because you told her about it. If there was none, she would have found an alternative.

So Hanty, stand your ground, perhaps when you make profit from your business you can give out part of the profit but not this small capital.

By the way how much did you spend now to buy that wrapper and your daughter's Xmas clothes that one go done chop inside the money. Apparently you are already spending from it. Be careful money has wings.

Thank you so much you says it all my daughter should come first i cannot put a grown up man before her , i haven't touched the 300k yet the money i have used to buy xmas clothes and wrapper was given to me by my daughter god mother. I have given the wrapper to my aunty she is grateful

Onelove508:
Ur younger brother is ur responsibility too o.... Forgot how Mama is feeling entitled and annoying, she has her reasons- didn't she train u?

Look at the situation as an African..

For future and reference sake try to squeeze out 60k and beg Mama to manage it.

He cannot be my responsibility because i am not his parent if my mum had she will continue to provide for him since she doesn't have he should look for work and pay for his school fee

toprealman:
Being independent is costly. Moving back to her place wasn't the best move. Don't blame her, she feels you played her, and rightly so.

I had stopped depending on her since i was 9 years old she gave me away to work as a house help and i have temporarily return back at almost 27 years old i don't understand why you mean that i played her for what or how? what about the lazy 24 years old who has been playing her for 24 years when he is not disable ? Don't you think he should hustle and pay for his own school fees

Ogabuz:
If you feel your brother is 24 and can stand for himself then ask yourself the same question, why did you move back to your mom's house, aren't you old enough to stand for yourself.
Without sacrifice you don't have family, why don't you offer some amount as support, your brother your looking at like this is your child's future uncle whom you don't know yet if you will need his help, you rise by lifting others up, especially your family. Offer some support maybe 50k and lock up.

I had the choice to rent a room for 45k per year but my husband said i should because the 300k is not enough for me to rent a room. I am only staying with her for a short period i won't be here forever

eyinjuege:
300K is what some people on here have planned out how she should spend almost 50% of it on her brother's school fees
That money is barely enough to do Christmas shopping, talkmore of paying school fees and doing business with it at the same time
If your child is still young, less than 4 years, don't put child in school yet and use ALL the money for your business.
Anybody who has only 300K to start a business venture has no business paying school fees of 120K for even their biological child or brother. (You have to think of sustainability)
If your child is really of school age, you should only use about 5% of that money as school fees per term meaning not more than 15K per term.
You shouldn't put your own dreams/business aside for your brother's dreams of an education.
Start working on your business immediately, as 300k means nothing with the continous inflation.
Don't forget your child will need to pay school fees every term.
Hopefully, your husband settles down quickly abroad to support you with the child because that your 300K no be am

I am grateful for your support and understanding

Ten06:
Go and rent a bed sitter apartment of 100k and stay there with your baby. Let her keep her frustration to herself

I will rent a room for 45k per year waiting to hear from hubby first

Akposkiz:
Help ur brother for the school fees for future purpose and manage the remaining money for your food stuff business the Lord will be ur strenght.

I will not help him my daughter is my future not him

Oju4190:
Quiet, if i hear pim. are u paying rent!

I am not paying rent but i have contribute with foods what about the 24 years old lazy man who is not contributing on anything he want to rely on our mother and siblings , if his two younger sisters 22 and 19 are out there working like everyone else and why can't him do the same when he is not disable ?

jessylaurel:
First of all no sensible people will sell their properties and relocate to a new country without a job over there.
2. If you're staying in your mum's house without assisting with the rent you no dey try that's y she's asking for the money.
3. Leave your mum house and fend for yourself. You're an adult and obviously married.

I will leave next month

obynoceaser:
So it's your blood brother that you referring to as someone because he needs 120k, you're indeed a wicked sister. Am happy my sisters are not like you. How much your child school fees wan consume at this early age. If you don't help your brother, you might regret in future.

Yes he is my blood brother i don't owe him anything and i will not regret it.

Bahamas95:
You made a big mistake moving back to her house......You should have rented at least a bedsitter for you and your daughter and have your privacy and peace of mind.

It was hubby choice for me to moved to my mom place as for myself I wanted to rent a room for 45k a year, he said the 300k wasn't enough for me to rent a room. I am thinking about moving out in january waiting to hear from hubby first

MeaslesMumpsRub:
But you Mum is your Past. The One who can never Betray You. If your Brother is Good academically and morally. It is not a bad thing for you to support him in paying his fees.

Moreover as you no get where to go,Na your Mama place you still run go.
If e set for you last last, Na Your mother go dey for you.

Your daughter is not your future, You are your future.
Your Mom probably thought you are her future too and now you are about to disappoint her.

Don't put unnecessary Pressure on that little Girl of Yours if you cannot take same pressure from your mom.
What goes around comes around

Yes i am her future she gave me life if it was something to do with her health i will sacrifice the money to treat her and for her to be alive but since it has nothing to do with her health and i am not my brother future. i will not sacrifice the money for someone who may not even help me tommorow. The money we are talking about is 300k only not 3 million i should use it wisely or else i will become a subject of mockery

1Sharon:
Do you contribute to rent or bills?

No i don't pay rent i just moved back on the 10 of december my husband traveled on the 19 , it is not even up to a month since i moved and i haven't even started my business yet. If i start my business and i am making good profits i will contribute for rent and bills na

kkins25:
It is wise to not throw away your entire family's support since anything can happen. That being said, since you and hubby discussed what the money should be used for, I guess using it to pay your brother school fees might betray him.

I wonder though, Are you and daughter feeding from mum's resources?

No we are not feeding from her resource i bought the rice , ground nut oil and yam that we are eating now

MeaslesMumpsRub:
You will never know who is more important to you, Your Children or your Parents?

My daughter is more important, she is my future the only one who can never betray me

sirjoggy:
Why did let your mom know that you have that kind of money, is either you lend her 60,000 or be looking for place you will be living to let peace rain

She is my mum and friend i told her so she can help me with business ideas and i don't have any money to lend her , if i had more than enough i would have given her for free but what i have now is for my business and daughter. I can't sacrifice my daughter happiness for someone else

culf:
No plan on ground to pay the fee before? Try explaining things to her to see reasons with you. please no plenty argument so She don't make the place uncomfortable for you and your baby.
120 is too much, would have asked you to maybe lend her part but was the possibility of paying back.

If i had more than enough i would have given it to her for free but i don't have any and the money i have now is for my business and daughter. I can't sacrifice my daughter happiness for someone else

Weirdcamila:
Don’t worry , in 5 years time you will understand better.
Good luck

Ok

Weirdcamila:
Well
180k can set up something for you (food stuff market while you pay your brothers school fees)
Your brother is your responsibility too.

Pls I only have one responsibility which is my daughter ,my brother is not my responsible he is 24 old enough to hustle like his fellow mates

gaby:
The only person you owe a duty of care and worry is the one you have brought into the world just as you were brought in.

Make everybody shift and carry their cross.

I detest people with a sense of entitlement.

You are 100% correct

gaby:
Do not fall for the emotional blackmail.

Stay and stand your ground. Your daughter comes first here.

If she makes you feel less comfortable, find an alternative living arrangement.

You and your brother were brought into the world by her which automatically should .she her responsible to you both, just as you are now responsible to the one you have brought into the world (your daughter).

You only owe your parents and siblings a duty of care after you have been able to sort your self-acauired or induced care cum responsibility.

Good luck..

Thank you so much you have said everything I wanted to hear and i wish i could like this your comment a millions time

libertyfather:
Dont mind her oooooo, for no one sake but your daughter

Ok thank you for the advice

Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?