Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture, I moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom's place.

We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country.

I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January.

My mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it.

I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me.

Am i wrong for refusing to help her?

Dont mind her oooooo, for no one sake but your daughter

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture , i moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom place. We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country. I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January , my mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it. I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me. Am i wrong for refusing to help her ?

Do not fall for the emotional blackmail.

Stay and stand your ground. Your daughter comes first here.

If she makes you feel less comfortable, find an alternative living arrangement.

You and your brother were brought into the world by her which automatically should make her responsible to you both, just as you are now responsible to the one you have brought into the world (your daughter).

You only owe your parents and siblings a duty of care after you have been able to sort your self-acquired or induced care cum responsibility.

Good luck..

libertyfather:
Dont mind her oooooo, for no one sake but your daughter

Ok thank you for the advice

gaby:
Do not fall for the emotional blackmail.

Stay and stand your ground. Your daughter comes first here.

If she makes you feel less comfortable, find an alternative living arrangement.

You and your brother were brought into the world by her which automatically should .she her responsible to you both, just as you are now responsible to the one you have brought into the world (your daughter).

You only owe your parents and siblings a duty of care after you have been able to sort your self-acauired or induced care cum responsibility.

Good luck..

Thank you so much you have said everything I wanted to hear and i wish i could like this your comment a millions time

Kdsml:



Thank you so much you have said everything I wanted to hear and i wish i could like this your comment a millions time

The only person you owe a duty of care and worry is the one you have brought into the world just as you were brought in.

Make everybody shift and carry their cross.

I detest people with a sense of entitlement.

Well
180k can set up something for you (food stuff market while you pay your brothers school fees)
Your brother is your responsibility too.

gaby:


The only person you owe a duty of care and worry is the one you have brought into the world just as you were brought in.

Make everybody shift and carry their cross.

I detest people with a sense of entitlement.

You are 100% correct

Weirdcamila:
Well
180k can set up something for you (food stuff market while you pay your brothers school fees)
Your brother is your responsibility too.

Pls I only have one responsibility which is my daughter ,my brother is not my responsible he is 24 old enough to hustle like his fellow mates

Kdsml:



Pls I only have one responsibility which is my daughter ,my brother is not my responsible he is 24 old enough to hustle like his fellow mates

Don’t worry , in 5 years time you will understand better.
Good luck

Weirdcamila:


Don’t worry , in 5 years time you will understand better.
Good luck

Ok

No plan on ground to pay the fee before? Try explaining things to her to see reasons with you. please no plenty argument so She don't make the place uncomfortable for you and your baby.
120 is too much, would have asked you to maybe lend her part but was the possibility of paying back.

Why did you let your mom know that you have that kind of money, is either you lend her 60,000 or be looking for place you will be living to let peace rain

culf:
No plan on ground to pay the fee before? Try explaining things to her to see reasons with you. please no plenty argument so She don't make the place uncomfortable for you and your baby.
120 is too much, would have asked you to maybe lend her part but was the possibility of paying back.

If i had more than enough i would have given it to her for free but i don't have any and the money i have now is for my business and daughter. I can't sacrifice my daughter happiness for someone else

sirjoggy:
Why did let your mom know that you have that kind of money, is either you lend her 60,000 or be looking for place you will be living to let peace rain

She is my mum and friend i told her so she can help me with business ideas and i don't have any money to lend her , if i had more than enough i would have given her for free but what i have now is for my business and daughter. I can't sacrifice my daughter happiness for someone else

Kdsml:



If i had more than enough i would have given it to her for free but i don't have any and the money i have now is for my business and daughter. I can't sacrifice my daughter happiness for someone else

Seat her down, explain to her to let her see reasons with you, tell her its not as if you don't want to help but you don't have enough.

Also for your foodstuffs business, be mindful of debt please.

You can not be staying at her place and be doing this.

First stay on your own no matter how little then skip the schooling for now. Your business is still very young to handle such expenses. You can defer her schooling for a year at first

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls. I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture , i moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom place. We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country....

Am i wrong for refusing to help her ?

You and your husband decided you should move out of your rented apartment back into your own mother's place, but did you two also at least plan to pay her rent while you are staying with her so it is not like your family is somehow mooching off of her at least? The store wey you want open for the front of house, you go also pay her rent for the space abi this na freeloading arrangement you dey run so?

If you had maybe indicated that your husband did not saddle her with his family, I would say maybe you are not wrong but your story does not indicate that that isn't the case at all. It sounds a lot like your family is mooching off of her as it is, am I right?

gaby:
The only person you owe a duty of care and worry is the one you have brought into the world just as you were brought in. Make everybody shift and carry their cross. I detest people with a sense of entitlement.

You are joking, right? She is married with her own family, and you don't think that by moving back to her parent's home with her family intact she at least owes them rent of some sort?

Kdsml:
She is my mum and friend i told her so she can help me with business ideas and i don't have any money to lend her , if i had more than enough i would have given her for free but what i have now is for my business and daughter. I can't sacrifice my daughter happiness for someone else

Do you at least pay rent for the space your family occupies in her home? Do you at least intend to pay rent while running your business in front of her home? If yes to both, then you really don't owe her anything but what you want and can give. Else, you are a freeloader claiming right in what is her own house and not your own husband's house!

Kobojunkiee:
You are joking, right? She is married with her own family, and you don't think that by moving back to her parent's home with her family intact she at least owes them rent of some sort?

Why are you quoting me?

Make your comment and move on.

Do not get on my mentions.

gaby:
Why are you quoting me? Make your comment and move on. Do not get on my mentions.

What the heck is this one yapping about? I quoted you because you posted a comment on nairaland, a forum open to all members. If you don't want to be quoted then cease posting your views immediately and clear your past posts while you are at it.

Miracle no dey tire jesus

Kdsml:
Merry xmas every1. Hope you all are having a great night. I nid advice pls

I am married with a kid, my husband traveled out of the country for a greener pasture , i moved out of our rented house and relocated back to my mom place. We had sold our properties for 300k he told me he doesn't know how long it will take him to get a job in the new country and I should use the 300k to start up a business so i will be able to take care of our daughter until he will be stable in the new country. I have decided to start selling foodstuffs in the front of the house and i will use the remaining money for my daughter school fees in January , my mom asked me to borrow her 120k to pay for my brother school fee and i refused explaining to her why i can't give her the money and she has been giving attitudes and refused to speak to me, i went to the market today i bought xmas clothes for my daughter and a wrapper for my mom she rejected it. I know she is doing all this for me to give her the money but i will not give it to her no matter what. I don't understand why she is angry when she knows that my husband is not around i should use the money wisely because if i am broke i have no one else to help me. Am i wrong for refusing to help her ?

Don't give her that money, no matter the emotional blackmail.

Weirdcamila:
Well
180k can set up something for you (food stuff market while you pay your brothers school fees)
Your brother is your responsibility too.

wat r u saying. Responsibility ke? Una funny ooo

So this entitilment attitude is exhibited from both the young and old of that gender.

One of the reasons I detest that gender.

Try and gather small change rent a room to have peace of mind

All you do, make sure you dont need your brothers help in the future. And what level is your brother?

Kobojunkiee:
What the heck is this one yapping about? I quoted you because you posted a comment on nairaland, a forum open to all members. If you don't want to be quoted then cease posting your views immediately and clear your past posts while you are at it.

.

You are truly deranged.

Go find your likes to quote and engage in a back-and-forth, please. I don't do kolos