Radiant:

please lets not stab english in the name of makin a point

mind your own business and get a life

anyone ever tell you you look like Nas?

Somehow I don't really beleive this story . If you were truely sorry, you woudn't give people your email so that you can tell then who this mystery girl is. If you were truely sorry you could have just sent her a personal apology.

If your story is true, you've made things worse by putting her personal biz on a forum that she frequents often.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I think I'm just going to lay low and stay patient.



-mochafella : no its not LA.

Hey all. I joined this forum about a month ago but this is my first real thread. I want to know what your opinion is on a certain situation. Names and locations have been changed just in case someone on here knows me. Lol. Ok here is the deal,


A while ago I moved to a new city (a pretty big one) after gettng my undergrad degree. I also ended up joining a new church. At that time, I had a bf that I had been dating for about two and a half years but that relationship was on its last legs. Basically, he was still in the city I had moved from and was completing his degree. So anyways, I kind of wanted a new beginning. New job, city, etc, 

So after a couple of weeks of attending this new church, I saw this guy that I thought was cute. Keep in mind that at that time I was pretty shy. I remember being introduced to him and noticing a few sparks. Eventually, a little crush formed. Let's call him Oye. Oye is tall, about 6'2 (which I like cause I'm kinda tall for a girl). He's dark skinned and I'm sure he has a nice body. He voice is kinda gruff which some might find annoying but I think its sexy.  Every Sunday that I'd see him, we had great convo etc,  nothing too deep and nothing to major. Let me just say that I've never had to chase a guy. Never have and never will (hopefully  lol)

So anyways, pretty soon I was curious as to wether or not this guy had a girlfriend. I didn't want to ask him straight up cause that would be too obvious. I coudn't ask some of the girls at the church cause I didn't know them too well either plus, imo, that would be obvious too. So as time passed nothing ever materialized with this guy but friendly once a week talks. Eventually I learned that Oye had a longtime girlfriend. As soon as I found this out, I let the crush go. Theres nothing worse to me than lusting after another girls man, its not me and honestly girls who do that are desperate imo. Nothing can make a guy more unattractive to than finding out that he has a girlfriend - just my opinion. After that, there was no communication but a simple hello and I'd keep it moving. So anyways, things ended with my bf at the time and I started dating someone else.


So cut to a few months later.Oye is now single but I was still with the new guy. Apparently he proposed to his gf not too long after I found out she existed, and she accepted. But for whatever reason, they broke up and its over. Its been about 4 months since they broke up. Aparently, they were on one of their many breaks when I first met him but the end of their engagement was final. Apperently, no one in his family really liked her and she had issues, I'm sure there is another version of the story but no one really knows what happend

A while back he was at a picnic that I attended. At that picnic, Oye and I ended up talking for a long ass time. So much so that other people around us were wondering what was up. The conversation started with us talking about his career path (medicine). Even when there was nothing to talk about he still hung around. Someone eventually commented that they had never seen him talk that much to one person ever. At that point, in a joking manner,  i asked him why he was talking to me so much. He answered that he always enjoyed talking to me but that he noticed a  while back that I had become 'cold' with him and wasnt as friendly to him. He made me promise to tell him the  real reason why that was.

Seeing as to how I was dating and wasn't interested in him anymore (ok maybe i was a little  bit  ) i decided to be honest even though i wanted to lie. At this point, my friends were motioning to me that they were ready to go. So i told him that i used to have a crush on him but once i found out he had a gf the crush was over. He looked at me, paused and told me that he had had a crush on me too.

Now I feel pretty dumb about how I handled that situation cause I abrubtly told him I had to leave with my gfs and bounced. We never finished that conversation  . Since then, Ive had tons of questions in my head about what he meant specifically cause he had a gf at the time.

fastforward one month. I'm single now and so is he. Since the picnic, we talk to each other when we see each other and I'm not going to lie, I flirt with him. But then again I've been told by guys that liked me in the past that I don't flirt enough. Apparently its hard to figure out whether I like a guy. At a recent outing with a bunch of people, Oye was there. I caught him watching me a couple times. I know the ladies on here know what its like to realize that a guy is using every opportunity he can without being to obvious to stand next to you in a group etc,  Also, when the people who I came with were ready to leave he mad a big deal about us staying saying that things woudn't be the same if we left etc,  Finally, he insisted on giving me a ride home even though my ride lives down the street from me. The conversation in the car was cool but I was really nervous. Nothing too major to report there.

So, after reading that long ass essay, lol, here is my question. This guy has been single for 6 months but he hasn't made a move. No can I call you, would you like to go out, nothing. From what I heard, he hasn't asked anyone else out either. Am I waiting for something that's never going to happen or should I stick it out? I mean he can't be that shy can he? He's very attractive imo. I mean I don't have a lot of experience with Nigerian guys so I don't know what to think. Or perhaps he's not over his ex? I know there must be tons of girls after him considering his career path.

Sorry for my rambling  but what do you guys think?

Well my dad was a prof at UI so we lived on the campus when I was really really young - Not to far from the dam (I've forgotten what its called).

We then moved to new bodija. I never attended highschool in Nigeria cause we moved when I was about 7 or 8 but I did attend staff school for a year or something.

We'd come back to nigeria for our summer holiday once a year for about a month so I didn't really know too many people in Ibadan (other than my cousins).

I used to live in Ibadan too - first on the UI campus then in New Bodija

so, whats the ratio of guys to girls on here?

diddy - it's not that I think you are a stalker, its just a policy of mine.

no offense intended.

lol rhodalyn.

Yah i'd rather not say where I'm at but I'll put it like this: I live in the Midwest.

Thanks for the warm welcome.

Hey all,

Just joined. Single, female, mid twentyish Nigerian living in the states.

This is my first time joining a Nigerian forum and I'm looking forward to all that it brings.