₦airaland Forum

gsainttrinity:
Why are trying to denigrate the guy based on his skin colour. You be more concerned about yourself if an Albino like you put it can take your girl, your game must be wack!!

How are you any different from him? You are saying that his game must be wack if an ALBINO took his girlfriend.

daewoorazer:
[color=#995500]To lose the girl completely, talk ill of d guy to your Gf coz he is an albino...


You don't deserve no Gf simply because you are a fcvked up racist and to make it worst, you are unaware! [/color]

That's not the definition of a racist.

Bunchersstab:
. I miss reading those sweet things from you...

Well, life has been awesome. How are you doing? Khiaa

Hi Buncher.

Explorerx:
black people only care about sex, 30iq niggers

This is the filthy piece of white shyt that a lot of dumb Nigerians worship.
Dirty white trash. And you have the nerve to call yourself a white Nigerian.

LordKO:
We disagree to agree. . . Don't be too hard on yourself, as for me there's no hard feelings.

Oh great I found a new friend.

mecussey:
Bitter truth...poor traditions that were made centuries ago and when you try to edit or adjust them, you will be called names.

So true. Slaves to tradition rather it's good or bad.

LordKO:
Literally, there's nothing oxymoronic about your question, your prejudice notwithstanding.

I'm only joking with you. There's noway that I'm prejudice against Nigerians, I wouldn't be here if I were. My heart belongs to a Nigerian. I apologise if I offended you, I was just being silly.

LordKO:
It's obvious that you've always associated with unconscientious Nigerians. Now it's about time you start to associate with the conscientious one's, because they don't encourage nosiness. . . You and generalization is inseparable. LOL.

Believe you me that small-mindedness isn't just only a Nigerian thing instead its global.

Are you a conscientious Nigerian ?
Wow! That question is a oxymoron.
If you are, you are one of the few and RARE that I have ever had a conversation with.

LordKO:
LOL. Community-ness in a marriage simply means oneness of the two people involved in it - it has nothing to do with outsiders. The presence of individuality as you championed is always a product of mistrust and suspicion, such is akin to two captains in one ship - it breeds unhealthiness in a union. Individuality shouldn't be mistaken for independency, there's a tiny line between the two in marriage union. While the former is powered by disingenuousness and unhealthy the latter is powered by ingenuousness and very healthy.

Lol On the contrary... Nigerians are known for budding into their family members marital affairs, giving unwanted and unsolicited advice. Especially from mama -in-laws

Futureberry:
suit yourself

Ok!

somehow:
I read your post and my comment is a general view towards some of you that didn't see seom screwed up attitudes of that woman (maybe you didn't support that part of her but others saw nothing wrong with it)

Ok, I gotcha.

Futureberry:
nop

Yep!

Marcelo290:
Like lemme just fall down, I would remember my prayers to God and call off the wedding ASAP lol

Ok I thought perhaps you were smoking a blunt when you wrote this.

Futureberry:
in most part of the world,laws favour women

But they favor the innocent person.

Futureberry:
it not my fault that you are ignorant of your right....in the court of law(if the court recognize their marriage) the husband might be given half ownership of the house.... He supported her,gave her money...gave her emotional and physical support....when you are married the house that you and your husband lives in belongs to you both....you have no right to get married if you don't know your right....

Your laws favor the man.

somehow:
Don't you think a man can only throw a woman out of the house if he knows 100% he's been the sole provider? If both of them have been funding the home, no way a man can take such decision don't you think?

Only in a fair society, but this is Nigeria.

LordKO:
Foremost, any marriage will lose its healthiness the very moment it lost its community-ness - individuality in marriage as you clearly championed is the bane of spate of separation and divorce cases that are the order of the day everywhere in the world. Actually, this your submission, an erroneous and sentimental one at that, really caught my attention. Before I go on, citing the OP's post, he was of goodness towards his wife while his reigning days lasted in their union. Therefore, the negatives attitudes his wife meted out against him was uncalled for in all ramifications, there shouldn't be any rational reason to justify them at all - in her actions and inactions I see a self-centered, selfish, opportunistic, disingenuous, narcissistic, compassionless and non-conscientious woman. . . She never had any genuine love for him. I partly blame the OP though, because it's obvious that he didn't achieve self-realization before he married her.

Now, back to your erroneous and sentimental submission, I'd expected you to know that there's a word like "some," so a statement like the following lack any sense of rationality: "You men bring this kind of behavior onto yourselves with the society and the culture you have created that seems to always favor the man." My point is that not all Nigerian men are small-minded and subjugator's. . . Personally, I live to conquer myself and not to conquer the world, and live to love the world without hating myself - this is about society. Also, I see culture as the way the living (individually or collectively) chooses to live their lives with emphasis on fairness to all - irrespective of social stratum, gender or age. Now, using my stated personal principle here as a standard, don't you think that it will amount to outright evil if a woman I take as a wife (don't worry I can never be a victim of having an evil personified woman as a wife. lol) mete out against me this kind of negative attitudes the OP's wife meted out against him? In summary, in this regard, I say to you that society and culture are individual things, so stop generalizing.

Meanwhile, you just like 99% of almost every other persons I have met have an erroneous understanding of the true meaning of the word "smartness." Disingenuousness is not and can never be the same thing as cleverness, and I don't see smartness where there's no cleverness - cleverness loses its meaning the very moment you take away ingenuousness from it.

Disingenuousness from either one or both parties involved in any relationship is always the root cause of unhealthiness in such a relationship, and once a relationship lost its healthiness it will automatically lose its community-ness too. The end result is either frenemies living together, marring, one killing the other , separation or divorce. Mind games is for small-minded people. Personally, the moment I observed any trace of disingenousness (act of mind games) from someone I have a thing with, I walk out from such union - I am always wary of disingenuous people not because they can have their evil ways around me without my consent, no, rather it's because they never survive my defense acts. They are always bad losers, when they lose you see them whining, playing victim, backbiting and throwing tantrums.

The OP was married to a disingenuous woman. And her disingenuousness brought about these other vices she meted out against him; self-centered, selfish, opportunistic, narcissistic, compassionless and non-conscientious attitudes. The woman succeeded in practicing her acts of shenanigans around the OP not because she was smart, no, but because the OP wans't insightful and smart.

Wow!! You should have read my post over again for a clearer understanding of my thoughts before you wrote this book.
I clearly stated that A LOT OF HUSBANDS , NOT ALL HUSBANDS.
I stated that she was WRONG for not CONTRIBUTING to the BILLS.

I also said that she was SELFISH and COLD HEARTED, and YES I believe a woman should not depend on a man for EVERYTHING because he will mistreat her if she does.

Furthermore I would not want the whole community in my marital affairs, nosey and jealous people can add to your problems.

Marcelo290:
Nawaoo, can one still find a woman worth calling a wife? I pray I still find a woman like my mom.

My dad used to be very wealthy, but how the table turned around I can't still tell. My mom was like the breadwinner, she kept running around and even sponsored me and my brothers in school, never for once did she complain. If it was this kind of woman in question, I wonder what would had been our fate by now.

Women should know that hard times don't last forever, support and be with your man, treat him well to avoid depleting his already shattered self esteem, he would cherish and appreciate you more. Most of them become showy, they go around telling anyone who cares to listen how they are the ones who provide for the family, they go and come back anytime they want unquestioned.

God if I am about marrying any bad woman that would cause me pains, make me slump on my weeding day!

Hmmmm Weeding day? What kind?

somehow:
Securing a place for herself to the detriment of the home?

Not like the man built a house already and she wanted hers too. They couldn't even pay house rent yet she didn't support. How do you people think?

Maybe if you read my posts you would know how I think.

She's an improvement to what most Nigerian men choose, at least she isn't an ugly wrinkled face prune dog like most are.

I don't get it, what do the women get out of these crazy relationships?

savagefinder:
I like your so called "logical" thinking but the truth is that we only fight or plan to fight against what we know and sadly the things we plan against are the things we know we are capable of.
We will never know but from the facts stated by the OP, he never had a side chick, he didn't threaten to chase her out of the marriage before then. You point is based on the fact that the "woman is smart"... Crap... The woman is being stingy and secretive, for you not to bring in any money to the house but you go to build a house even brings into question your faithfulness to the bond you and your husband share..because my hands and heart were open and I showed you my house, why can't you tell me about the one you are building? You know what I earn and we share it and you know how I spend it, so why can't we do the same to yours? About this society rules that you claim we created, another crap... We are not the ones that are willing to pay bride price, your parents ask for it.. If she has a house before our marriage, I won't fret.. If she has a house after our marriage, so far I know of it.. I still won't fret.. But you share my money equally as our money but when the time comes, your own becomes your own money and you call it smartness... Sister call a spade a spade, that woman isn't normal, she's mad self,.

Obviously you didn't read my posts. I said that I wasn't talking about cheating in this marriage I said that I was talking about in a general sense, I also stated that I didn't agree with her secrecy nor her non contribution to the family bills.

I also do not believe that her money is hers and what's his belongs to the both of them that's ridiculous.
What I do understand is putting away some money for emergency situations, you know like "Get Out of MY HOUSE". I understand wanting to have a place of her own because it's obvious that her husband's house is HIS house and not THEIRS.

So yes, if I was a Nigerian woman living in Nigeria I would protect my self, so when and if the day comes that he wants me out of HIS house I won't be homeless. What is so hard to understand about that?

alexialin:
Maybe such plan cannot be ruled out as well.

Only she and God knows her next plan after the house is completed.

But she's already moved out of the house remember, I'm sure she moved into her almost completed new house.

Futureberry:
I can only imagine what your response will be,if the man built a house secretly, the man is always at fault.....the woman knows who the man was yet still went ahead to marry him...the loads of double standard in your writeup is mind blowing, we know gender equality can never be possible, but at least try and condemn what is bad when it is bad...don't support simply because your gender is the defaulting side,your brother,sons or dad might find themselves in these same situations ,will you still go with these narrative.... If your husband build a house without telling you,won't you feel bad ...it always right when it not us involved...

If I was Nigerian living in Nigeria and my husband built a house without telling me what would be the point of me getting upset?

If he built a house with me knowing, who's house would it be.....answer HIS.

If my husband built a house without me knowing, who's house would it be.... answer.. HIS.

You get the point?

Futureberry:
so the man is now a cheat...sister stop slandering men without verified facts....I can as well say you slept with your dad last night

Now you're being stupid, bringing my deceased dad into this conversation, I never said he cheated on her I was speaking in the general sense.

alexialin:
God bless you.

The wife knows where the shoes pinches. So I wont blame her totally.

Possibly she really wants to surprise her husband with the new house.

It's possible.

Lol Yeah it's possible but not probable. As an outsider looking in (me) I can understand a wife securing a place for herself and foreseeing that dreaded day when she hears the words GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, but in the case of this woman I think that she was just being underhanded and deceitful.
She had plans to leave the marriage as soon as the house was completed.

Phonefanatic:
With your thinking I see marriage as scam. If she wanted to do things by herself why get married? She could have gotten pregnant without marrying which will give her all the space to do things alone and enjoy her money.

I'm thinking logically you are into your feelings. If a man is so selfish that he cant/won't provide shelter for his wife without her stressing about the fact that he can throw her out HIS house at the drop of a hat with nowhere to go, why bother getting married? I think that this is a control tactic created by men to keep your womem submissive.
If he wants to cheat he knows that there isn't a thing she can do about it but pray, hope and wish and just accept it or get out of HIS house. That is why the women should be cautious and be prepared.

Apina:
If a woman tells u that her money is hers and yours is a central purse, immediately put ur foot down and let her know that for u to pay any of her bill, she would 100% do whatever u say. Who pays the bills, makes the rules.

Who makes the rules in a Nigerian home when both partners are paying the bills equally?

As incredibly selfish and cold hearted as this woman sounds I can understand where she's coming from. My reasons are as follows.

1. You men bring this kind of behavior onto yourselves with the society and the culture you have created that seems to always favor the man.

The house belongs to the man alone.
When you are angry with your wives you tell her to leave YOUR house just as the op told his wife. He expected her to beg him to let her stay but when she didn't beg him he was shocked. She didn't beg because she has provided a refuge for herself. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and you were told to get out of your matrimonial home with no compensation and nowhere to go the way a lot of you husband's do your wives simply because he wants someone else.

2. Since your culture doesn't believe in community property (All properties belonging to both husband and wife ) a smart wife would make sure that she has the security of shelter and some funds put away for herself and her children incase shyt happens, otherwise she would be left homeless and destitute.

3. I can't count how many times I have read on here about husbands throwing their wives out of HIS house with nowhere to go simply because he wants to move his girlfriend and his outside children into HIS house.

4. I give kudos to the wives who are wise enough to make her own money and provide for herself and not completely depend on her husband for everything.

5. The down side to this story is the secrecy and not doing her part in providing for the family especially when the husband was having financial difficulties.

Alezy:
that's why u here right??

Good morning/night

Of course I'm here for you. Good evening.
Check your email if you want to know what I will do to you.

Alezy:
lolz...

Hope u re good?? Had a very hectic day. Super tired.

You need someone to give you a good back massage when you come home from work.

lefulefu:
haha thanks for this info.i have noted it all down in my book.so u dont find white men attractive? Hmm if other black American ladies dont find white men attractive maybe that could explain why white guys are now trooping to Africa to marry African ladies.one thing about white men is that they are fascinated by the erroneous curvature of the black woman's booty cos their own women dont have a backside.

When I say I don't find them attractive does not mean that the next woman don't either. It's not that they aren't attractive it's just that they aren't attractive to ME.

The thing is there is such an horrible history of how evil they are and not to mention the evilness they are portraying today makes it extremely hard to look at them as someone that I would want to share a lifetime with and God forbid give birth to his children, the mere thought of that makes me nauseous. Do you think that it is easy for the wicked to change in a country that was founded on evil and the system after 400 years is just as wicked?