₦airaland Forum

@ Poster,
I quite appreciate your confusion/worries. To deal with this issue, you need to make rational decision based on facts. I would suggest you put your facts together by asking yourself the following questions:

1. Why did you apply for the Canadian Immigration visa in the first instance i.e what was your reason/goal/ objective? Has the reason/goal/objective changed? Reassessing the original plan may help you refocus on the goal you set for yourself. Different people have different reasons for migrating

2. What professional qualification and work experience do you have? Are they global qualification that can be used anywhere in the world? Have you searched Canadian job/recruitment websites (e.g monster.ca) to see if there are vacancies that match your qualification?

3. I strongly suggest you ask somebody who is based in Canada for his view about opportunities (especially in Alberta where most of the oil companies are based), cost of living, etc. Finding out about the cost of living will help you determine the range of monthly/salary you should be looking at.

4. With regards to your pension plan, is it not possible to continue to contribute to the pension even if you are out of country? You will need to confirm this with your pension administrator.

You currently earn a reasonable salary in Lagos (N300,000K /month is about 2,400CAD and about 29,000CAD/PA). Would it be that difficult to get a job in Canada that will pay you the same or more? Questions 2 and 3 above will help confirm that.

As some others have advised, I will suggest you take vacation from your work and “Land” in Canada with your family in order to collect your PR card. I also advise that you start looking for job NOW while you are in Lagos so that when you go to Land, you may have some interviews lined up.

Finally, I suggest that you should not liquidate your investments in Nigeria YET until you have landed in Canada and see things for yourself (am assuming you can raise enough cash for flight tickets and temporary accommodation). Wish you the very best in your decision.

cheers

Am not surprised about the argument and criticism going on here. Infact, I would have been surprised if it has turned out otherwise. Not surprising also is the fact that the same set of guys are the fore front of this.

I know in Christiandom that there are divergent views on some issues and most of these issues are secondary issues. For example, am yet to see a Born Again Christian denying the fact that Jesus is the Saviour, Redeemer and Son of God. But we argue about secondary stuff such as prosperity, should women preach or not, should women wear earring or not, to speak in tongues or not, healing the sick, etc.

And I personally think this division/divergent view will continue as long as we have denominations (old time religion, Pentecostals, Evangelicals, etc ) as everyone will try to justify their denominational beliefs until Jesus comes.
But I would like to know if it would have been better if Nigeria has been put in the record book as the “Most Corrupt Country In the World”? Would we have been happier?

Let the freedom of speech continues as we are all entitle to our opinion and belief … thank God we Christians do not issue “fatwa”.

It is important to point out that the money in the banks within the premises belong to students, workers (lectures, secondary and primary school teachers, artisans and labourers working at different projects within canaanland), the winners chapel, and Ota residents, etc. So the banks within canaanland (Oceanic Bank, etc) are like any other bank branch n Nigeria with the only exception that they are allowed to open their branches within canaanland premises.

It is therefore important to look at this as another bank robbery which is actually a nightmare for the families of the victims and bank workers. This act MUST be condemned by ALL no matter your religious inclination or belief.

To the other point of argument led by 4Him & Co. There will always be areas of disagreement and division in the Church of Jesus. For example, there are those that belief in divine healing and those that say that the time of divine healing is past, some believe in Holy Ghost baptism with the evidence of speaking in tongues while some do not, etc. In my opinion, this disagreement will continue until Jesus come and therefore, am not overly worried abut them.

I will only begin to get worried if I see a believer (i.e somebody who is Born Again) arguing that Jesus is not the Saviour and Redeemer or there is another way of salvation outside of Christ and some of these basic Christian doctrines.

In closing, I will to ask the following questions:
1. Is it wrong for a church to establish schools?
2. Is it wrong for a church to establish hospitals?
3. Is it wrong for banks to establish branches within the compound of the church if they so desire?
4. Is it wrong for a church to have internet address and broadcast their messages on the internet?
5. Is it wrong for the church to have buses to transport members to & from church? I know winners chapel have over 200 buses for transporting members to church free of charge. It is also on record that they give scholarships to any students each year).

I have been a victim of armed robbery and it was not a funny incident and I don’t wish for anybody to witness it. May God help our Nigeria.

Shapey,
The nightmare is over already. I think you and your husband need to be together asap and be under one roof so that the healing can take place quicker. The more you see each other and talk, the quicker your relationship will get back to its original state. I know it may not be easy at the beginning but just go through the motions such as exchanging warm greetings, welcome him back from work with a hug, calling him his pet name (even if it sounds heavy in your mouth at the moment), etc. Just begin to do what you used to do before this whahala started and before long, it will be as if you never had a misunderstanding with him.

I don’t believe in separation or divorce because they never solve the problem. Fortunately enough, He loves you very much and vice versa despite all the brouhaha. You are a winner already!!

Stay blessed.

I'd like to know more about Nairaland members who are married! If you're married, we want to know things like:
- How you met your husband or wife.
- What attracted you to your husband or wife.
- Who proposed marriage, and how.
- Who opposed the marriage, and how you prevailed.
- The wedding, and the honeymoon
- DO you think you made a mistake choosing your partner?
- How often you're tempted to be unfaithful and how often you fall .
- How long you think the marriage will last.

I met my wife in April 2000 in church during youth program. She was an usher and one of the youth leaders. When I saw her I knew that’s the lady I want to marry. After the service, I introduced myself to her and went my way. Two weeks later I proposed to her by saying “would you like to spend the rest of your life with me because that’s what I want to do. Think about it and let me know your decision”. A month later, she said “yes”.

Attraction.
She is very pretty (she is Ibo and has that Ibo light completion). The fact that she also like entertaining people and very outgoing (am reserved and talk little)
The wedding, and the honeymoon
Wedded on October 27, 2001 and had 4 days honeymoon in an hotel in the same town we married and another 5days at home because I was broke after the wedding ceremonies.

DO you think you made a mistake choosing your partner?
No. I thank God I met her and much more for her to agree to marry me (I don’t even have a house not to talk of car as at the time I met her because I just started work then).

How often you're tempted to be unfaithful and how often you fall
Temptation would always come but I refuse to yield. I made a vow to God after my marriage and wrote it down in mind and in my Diary that “If I ever have sex with another woman except my wife, may I never succeed in anything I do”.

- How long you think the marriage will last.
Till death do us part.

I did some radical stuff during our wedding such like:
1. No chairman or special guest of honour during the reception. It was only the couple and the grooms men and grooms ladies (or whatever they are called) that sat on the high table along with our parents.
2. No little bride or little groom. I kept the wedding ring in my pocket and when it was time to use it and brought it out.
3. I wrote on the wedding pamphlet that “MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR BETTER FOR WORSE BUT FOR BETTER FOR BEST”!!!

JoshJosh,
I agree with you that we need prayers but remember this God will not do everything for us. When we have prayed we must take personal responsibility and necessary actions before we can get results. E.g when I got born again may years ago (I was 17 then), and I left our family church (where I was born and my father was also born into it), my family fought me as if I had committed an abomination but I fought back and as a matter of fact I told them that I will disown them before they disown me (because my father was telling my mum that he will do just that if I don’t come back to the family church). Yes I prayed but I fought them to stand still and eventually they respected my choice. That’s why I said that getting your independence must be done long before marriage. When I was to get married, I knew that nobody would stand on my way because they have come to respect my opinion and choice in life.

Mind you when I say fight your family, I don’t mean literally boxing and wrestling with them but standing your ground and getting them to know that you have a right to your choice and opinion .

I would also not want to go into arguments on spiritual things but this I know “God gave us a head that we might give Him a rest”. We need to take personal responsibility for personal victory. Prayer is good but it must be combined with adequate use of our God given mind (after all we have the mind of Christ) to plan, strategise and pursue our goals.

On a final note, in my 2 years of sojourn in UK (am here on secondment from my company in Nigeria) I have discovered that if Africans are very religious and yet we have very little to show for it in our continent (even the man that committed incest still mounted a pulpit last august to give a testimony of the doings of the Lord, some Governors are even reverend and yet looted the treasury) compared to the Europeans that are not as religious but are more productive and generally obey the laws of the land and do not steal as we do!!!

We all agree that the issue of inlaws and outlaws is more profound in Africa thats why i try to direct my earlier post to "African men".
cheers

I have read this pathetic true live event and I ask myself what can we learn from this? I will like to share the following learning points with us particularly those that are yet to be married:

1. Establish your personal independence long before you get married.
Everyman must establish his independence from his parents and extended family long before marriage (if you try to do it after marriage, your wife may be accused of bewitching you). Long before I got married, my family knew me to be a “rebel”. When I was getting married, I made sure I did not collect a single kobo from any family members (my parents inclusive) as help towards my wedding so no one can come and tell me what to do in my home.

It is apparent that the husband in this pathetic story has not established is independence that’s why the extended family could dare to lift their voice and their hands against the wife!!!

2. Let them know that you value your wife and your new home very highly.
Before I got married, I told my mother and my 3 sisters that “any offence against me will be forgiven but any offence against my wife will not be forgiven!!!”. I also told them that “my wife is my weakness because she is the only one I have soft spot for”. I don’t speak condescendingly about my wife and as such no one can insult her in my family in the name of “helping me to deal with her”. As a matter of fact, over time, my sisters and mother have become very good pals with my wife because they know she is the only one that has the key to my heart.

It is extremely important that everyman knows how to guard his home against invaders in the form of extended families. It is also important that African men should know that the term “immediate family” included only himself, his wife and kids (believe me some don’t know this) and anything outside this belongs to the extended family.

I agree with Tayo-D's post.

The summary is this, a couple is considered married, if they go to ANY of the following:

1. The court
2. The church /mosque
3. Traditional institution i.e traditional marriage

Many xtians do the 3 together to fulfill all righteousness but if any couple go to any of the above institutions, they have become husband and wife and therefore have obtained the license to “deal”  forever more.

For people who wants to fulfill all righteousness, they try to perform all ceremonies within one week to reduce the cost i.e go to court on Wednesday/Thursday, traditional wedding on Friday (some even perform the traditional wedding on Saturday morning by 6:30am) and church on Saturday by 10am.  I did the 3 between Thursday and Saturday.