₦airaland Forum

NEROSKY: which of these made u laugh da hardest?


No1
A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband.
Maid said sir you are my witness you know I never wear panties.

No1
A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife’s nipples while she was asleep.
The next day, their driver died of poisoning.

No3
A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS.
His son asked Dad why?
He answered, so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum.

dvdon: You

NEROSKY: Abeg make una no blame akpors, na village em dey grow

Akpos got a message from his girl friend on his Bday “Message Reads” HBD Boo…LLNP, LYSM TTYL”…Akpos:s provoked and called her phone” Kate wat is meaning of HBD LLNP and Those rubbish…Kate replied Haaa Akpos dnt tell me u are dis dumb and local Oh My Gooosh, u dnt even know the meaning of HBD and all dat Mtchwwww. Well, HBD Means “Happy Birthday”, LLNP means “Long Life Nd Prosperity” LYSM me
ans “Love You So Much” and TTYL means “Talk To You Later” dumb ass….Akpos ( angrily ends the call and sent her a text message 2mins later, *message reads* MGPU…Kate called immediately, AKpos wat is the meaning of MGPU? Akpos answered Oh u don’t even know common MGPU After much laugh Akpos replied MGPU means “Make God Punish U”

Nwa Teacher: Currently there is no job 4 1st class grdauate. 4get about looking 4 job and make jobs 4 urself. I'm into noodles business but i graduate with 2:1. Where do u see white cola job

pythonwizpro: The Joint Task Force have killed 13 members of a gang suspected of abducting a Turkish man in an early morning raid on their hideout in oil-producing Rivers state, police said on Saturday.

A 20 million naira ($127,600) ransom was paid for the release of Bayram Karakus, who worked for the Rivigo Construction company, Rivers police spokesman Ben Ugwuegbulam told a news agency.

He gave no details of what happened to the Turkish man.

“A combined team of operatives … stormed the militant camp of a notorious gang also responsible for kidnapping, armed robbery, killing of policemen and civilians in the recent past,” Ugwuegbulam said.

“In the ensuing gun battle six of the hoodlums were fatally wounded … seven of the wounded died on the way to hospital.”

Ugwuegbulam said the police recovered N98,900, the bags used to deliver the ransom, six AK 47 rifles and ammunition in the raid on Friday.

The raid was said to be carried out around 2:50 AM in Kaani community in Khana Local Government Area of Rivers State.

http://www.channelstv.com/home/2012/11/03/jtf-gun-d own-14-suspected-kidnappers-in-rivers/

365naijanews: Some minutes ago, the Akpako Master, African Lion, Terry G aka Terrygzus took to Twitter to announce the birth of his son.
We from 365naijanews and 3NN reporters say a warm welcome to Lil' Terry G and wish him the best in life! As for Terry G and his fiancee, we say [b]CONGRATS!!![/b]congrate akpako master


https://365naijanews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Terry-G-365naijanews.com_.jpg
https://365naijanews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Lil-Terry-G-365naijanews.com_.jpg

Source: http://365naijanews.com/behold-we-now-have-lil-terry-g

fatdon2: watch video here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjOSCJ7LK6M

obowunmi: My father just bloodied my nose (its bleeding but I don't think its broken.) I have never had a good relationship with my dad except for when I need to ask for money or run a part of his business. He abused my mom, and just bloodied my nose because I left a personal item in the sitting room/parlour.

I paid my way thru school on my own as I am a trust fund kid, am currently at my Aunty's house in Lekki and she says beating/violence is a huge part of the African culture. Apart from my father's wealth, I don't need him for anything else. I plan to head back to the U.S. Figure it out on my own and cut him off finally. Ȋ wil say U̅ cut him off as U̅ want nd very soon

Debrief and other experts on violence - how can you help? Its not the first time that he has committed heinous acts on violence. Any advice? I only hope I won't beat my wife when I get married.

Ryda: In the hospital relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.
"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great
length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost"
The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a
female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down price of female brains, because they've actually been used. ^^^^^^^^

xtremeidea: How do you mean fifa has a more realistic gameplay? PES gameplay is very realistic unlike FIFA. I prefer FIFA in terms of commentaries, intro, menus and player resemblance although PES tried this year and closed the gap on resemblance.