HRMK:
hahaha....what a very smart lady!why must she study abroad for her phd?no more schs in nigeria?u want to be busy with ur sidechicks around?I JUST DONT TRUST U!!

greenie77:


If you really do see sense in that your advice then you really have nothing upstairs. Advising someone to break up his family and distribute his children to his relatives as if he is sharing bread, what made you think he has the exclusive right to decide who the children stay with should he divorce as you suggested and the mother of the children will just keep quiet?

Since the wife is already preparing for her IELTS and other exams, it is very certain she is relocating and may likely first travel alone to go start work and settle in. Then look for bigger accommodation, the school the older kids would be attending and how she and her husband would be sharing the task of taking care of the kids when the other is at work because paying for childcare is no joke in the UK.

Thank you

InTheCloudySky:
Have a good plan in place or start looking for jobs before you leave. But, if you want your wife and kids to go first while you sort yourself out in Nigeria, flights from Nigeria to the UK are just a few hours long, so visiting them shouldn't be a problem. Just try and make the move to be with them within a few months thereafter.

ShenTeh:
@Krisnel Well, I think I am very qualified to advise you for very good reasons.

I understand your fears and yes, they are very valid.

You need to be upfront and personal with your wife. You can work things out together. Your current course of plans is treacherous, you are a captain planning to abandon ship mid-journey. You need to let your family know where you stand and why and how the plan comes together in the future and safely for everyone.

Let your wife know your fears and you can both share ideas and plan accordingly. As the current bigger earner in Nigeria, it is ok to let her go first as her career holds better and quicker promises than yours. But having to abandon her with 3 children midplan is not fatherhood or great companionship. It would be wickedness, very frustrating and an impediment to her. She will be mentally traumatized. Please discuss with her so she can brace herself for the task. Women like to be prepared, they can take on battles but preparing them is as good as their victory. But whatever it is, an immigrant 'single' mum with 3 kids combining work is going to be tough. Very very likely so.

Two, that said, she can go first while you still earn your Nigerian 'peanuts' to clear the bills and plan to join them on a fixed time. But to avoid stories that touch, go through all the visa processing together with them and get the kpali for yourself too.

Like someone said already, no pain no gain, whether you go now or later, as long as you have decided on that path, chances are that it is going to be rough at the beginning but you are most likely going to be better off in the long run.

Otherwise, please abort plan altogether and don't set that innocent woman and children up for a dream you do not see yourself featuring in.

Cheers. And God bless your home.