₦airaland Forum

I am back my fellow NL's but I have some disheartening news. My dear husband wants a divorce because he says he can't keep up with me and that I nag too much. I have a hunch that he is hiding the real reason. Should I just let it go and go through with his request for a divorce?

Hello NLs. Thank you all for your candid advice, they are really helping me get thru this tough time. And to those that chose to insult my husband, please stop it because he is still the love of my life, that is why I married him. And to the woman that suggested I hook him up with another woman, No thank you. You can as well keep your ridiculous offer and advice. Me and my hubby did some talking last night and we agreed to go to our pastor for advice and prayers because I told him if our sex life doesnt spic soon then he can expect me to be walking out the door and never looking back. He was very shocked but I had to let him know I meant business lol. So hopefully that goes well. And to one poster, yes I know I am fixated on sex but that's because sex is a huge part of a relationship especially one like marriage.

All,
my husband just came back from work and we conversed over the issue at hand. He thinks that I am making a big deal out of nothing and that he only wants sex the missionary way because it is the way God made it. He says he doesn't understand why I am so sad because he gives me everything I want and treats me the way a loving husband should treat his wife. He says many women would love to be in my shoes but yet I go on complaining everytime about sex. He says sex should be secondary to the love that we share and if I really love him then I should learn to overlook his sexual "flaws" just like he has learned to overlook my constant nagging and unhealthy sexual desires. Imagine? I just want us to cross boundaries and experience things like BDSM and he thinks my desires are unhealthy?! What is unhealthy about wanting to be satisfied? Now I am beginning to wonder maybe my husband is just not sexually atrracted to me, am I the problem? I am just confused and frustrated, I feel like crying. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take of this.

All,
my husband just came back from work and we conversed over the issue at hand. He thinks that I am making a big deal out of nothing and that he only wants sex the missionary way because it is the way God made it. He says he doesn't understand why I am so sad because he gives me everything I want and treats me the way a loving husband should treat his wife. He says many women would love to be in my shoes but yet I go on complaining everytime about sex. He says sex should be secondary to the love that we share and if I really love him then I should learn to overlook his sexual "flaws" just like he has learned to overlook my constant nagging and unhealthy sexual desires. Imagine? I just want us to cross boundaries and experience things like BDSM and he thinks my desires are unhealthy?! What is unhealthy about wanting to be satisfied? Now I am beginning to wonder maybe my husband is just not sexually atrracted to me, am I the problem? I am just confused and frustrated, I feel like crying. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take of this.

Thanks for the advice. I don't think my husband would like it if I take our sexual affairs to the church. I just don't know. I will try mixing some sexual enhancers in his food though but if it still doesn't work I might just have to divorce him based on sexual incompatibility. I am just glad that we decided to wait 2 years before having children. And I am also kind of scared because we were talking last night about moving to a new home by next year April and he suggested that we get a home with 2 master bedrooms, so that he can have one and I can have one. I know most homes now come with 2 master rooms for this purpose but I don't want to sleep away from my husband. I am very much attracted to this man, he is very sexy and handsome. Looking at him is enough to make me horney BUT he just isn't satisfying me. I hate getting horney only to be left unsatisfied. I love the fact that he takes me out all the time, buys me things, shows how much he cares about me, and other things that makes it harder for me to leave him. I know they say there is no prefect person, but why does his imperfection have to be his small manhood and extremely low sex drive? I am just flabbergasted about this.

Thanks for the correction lol. Well I am FRUSTRATED! I just don't know what to do. If only he would change his views on sex then I would be happily married woman. Right now I am miserable, I have always dreamed that my husband would be a stallion in bed that would make me orgasm all the time, that he would be romantic and be open to trying new things BUT for some cruel reason God has given me wood as an excuse for a man. We last had sex on Monday and I wanted to try something different so I suggested we try anal sex since it gives pleasure more than regular sex because I need some pleausure, this man refused saying that anal sex is only for the gays and if he wanted anal sex then he can as well gone ahead and married a man. Can you imagine? I was shocked because I have never met a man before that refused anal sex. I told my sister about my situation and she says maybe he is gay and is using me to cover it up but I doubt my love is gay. Anyways, we tried therapy back in June for 3 weeks but it didn't work because he is still a log of wood in bed. I am seriously running out of ideas, the only thing I can think of right now is a divorce

Well he didn't want to do anything sexually at all because he doesn't believe in anykind of intimate contact. So there was no feeling or touching or any of that. It was akward enough that we had our first kiss at our wedding. And I have tried talking to him about our intimate life but he just doesn't want to change and satisfy me. He feels that God made sex missionary so we should't need to complicate what God has already made perfect between man and woman. I have tried suggesting that he take some size enhancer medicine but he refuses because he believes that it will make him sterile. We never talked about sex before marriage because he was not experienced so I assumed that I would just teach him when the time came. I am just so furstrated about this. He refuses to have sex in the morning and day time. He only wants it at night and we only have sex like once or twice a week. I have tried to lure him into the bed during the day by cooking him lunch naked and eating naked BUT he just won't budge his views on sex. He just ignores the advances I make. I don't know how much more I can take of this, it is like living in hell.

Hello to all my fellow Nairalanders. How are thee? Anyways, I love this forum. I have been a lurker on this forum for some years now but I never had anything to post until now. I am a newcomer on this forum so please don't bash me if I made a mistake. lol. I know how you all can be. So my problem is that I had been intimate with different men for years, I started being intimate at the age of 16. I thought of it as something fun to do as a hobby so I was always being intimate. When I turned 24 I began attending church again and repented to become a child of Christ, so I became celibate and stopped going to clubs and such. Well I met a gorgeous man in church later that year and we began dating. The sparks were flying and we always had a good time around each other eventhough I was still celibate and he was a virgin. After about 2 years of dating we finally got married, this occured in February. I was really exicted and looking forward to our wedding night because it had been so long since I had been intimate with a man. To my disappointment my husband didn't last very long in bed and top it off, he was horrible in bed and the size of his manhood was too small that I didn't even feel it going into me. I had never had such a lousy partner in bed before but I consoled myself and said maybe it is because this is his first time and with time he will get better. Well fastforward now it has been 7 months since we got married and things have not gotten better. His manhood is still very tiny and he still is horrible in bed. He doesn't fore play, he doesn't give me head and he won't allow me to give him head, and he only does missionary style. I have tried talking to him about our intimate aspect but he still refuses to change. I am a woman and I have my intimate needs and he isn't taking care of them, I don't know how much longer I can take of this horrible intimate life. I have been using toys to help my with this furstration but it no longers works because I need a real man. Other than this problem, everything else is going well but I am so tempted to cheat. I don't want to cheat on my husband but I don't think our intimate life will get better, what should I do. Should I divorce him?