Temperament refers to the characteristics and aspects of personality that we are born with. For that reason, they are similar to traits in that they are both innate (born with these things) and enduring. Infants who are anxious and nervous tend to be the same way when they are older. One difference though is that temperament more often relates to emotionality...the specific emotional characteristics such as calm, anxious, or nervous.

In psychology, temperament refers to those aspects of an individual's personality, such as introversion or extroversion, that are often regarded as innate rather than learned. A great many classificatory schemes for temperament have been developed; none, though, has achieved general consensus in academia



Each of the four types of humours corresponded in ancient times to a different personality type.

Sanguine

The sanguine temperament is fundamentally impulsive and pleasure-seeking; sanguine people are sociable and charismatic. They tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when they pursue a new hobby, they lose interest as soon as it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. Sanguines generally have an almost shameless nature, certain that what they are doing is right. They have no lack of confidence.

Choleric

The choleric temperament is fundamentally ambitious and leader-like. They have a lot of aggression, energy, and/or passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were choleric. They like to be in charge of everything. However, cholerics also tend to be either highly disorganized or highly organized. They do not have in-between setups, only one extreme to another. As well as being leader-like and assertive, cholerics also fall into deep and sudden depression. Essentially, they are very much prone to mood swings.

Melancholic

The melancholic temperament is fundamentally introverted and thoughtful. Melancholic people often were perceived as very (or overly) pondering and considerate, getting rather worried when they could not be on time for events. Melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art - and can become preoccupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. Often they are perfectionists. They are self-reliant and independent; one negative part of being a melancholic is that they can get so involved in what they are doing they forget to think of others.

Phlegmatic

The phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. Phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. They are accepting and affectionate. They may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. They are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. They can also be passive-aggressive.

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Be available for your children

- Notice times when your kids are most likely to talk — for example, at bedtime, before dinner, in the car — and be available.

- Start the conversation; it lets your kids know you care about what's happening in their lives.

- Find time each week for a one-on-one activity with each child, and avoid scheduling other activities during that time.

- Learn about your children's interests — for example, favorite music and activities — and show interest in them.

- Initiate conversations by sharing what you have been thinking about rather than beginning a conversation with a question.

Let your kids know you're listening

- When your children are talking about concerns, stop whatever you are doing and listen.

- Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive.

- Listen to their point of view, even if it's difficult to hear.

- Let them complete their point before you respond.

- Repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly.

Respond in a way your children will hear

- Soften strong reactions; kids will tune you out if you appear angry or defensive.

- Express your opinion without putting down theirs; acknowledge that it's okay to disagree.

- Resist arguing about who is right. Instead say, "I know you disagree with me, but this is what I think."

- Focus on your child's feelings rather than your own during your conversation.

Remember:

- Ask your children what they may want or need from you in a conversation, such as advice, simply listening, help in dealing with feelings or help solving a problem.

- Kids learn by imitating. Most often, they will follow your lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems and work through difficult feelings.

- Talk to your children — don't lecture, criticize, threaten or say hurtful things.

- Kids learn from their own choices. As long as the consequences are not dangerous, don't feel you have to step in.

- Realize your children may test you by telling you a small part of what is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to talk and they may share the rest of the story.

Parenting is hard work

- Listening and talking is the key to a healthy connection between you and your children. But parenting is hard work and maintaining a good connection with teens can be challenging, especially since parents are dealing with many other pressures. If you are having problems over an extended period of time, you might want to consider consulting with a mental health professional to find out how they can help.

Credit: https://LagChat.com/view-article?id=key-communication-tips-for-parents

The belief in a single, special "soul mate" can lead one away from actually being happy and choosing a satisfying relationship. That begs the questions though... How do you find a satisfying relationship? If there isn't just one special person, how do you choose?

Fortunately, research again has the answer! It comes in the form of Rational Choice Theory. No, that doesn't mean that your emotions are not involved. Rather, it means that the strategy you select for choosing a partner makes a difference in the outcome. Pick the right strategy and find a satisfying mate. Use the wrong strategy...and you may end up not so fortunate!

Making a Choice: Maximizing Versus Satisfying

Shwartz and colleagues (2002) evaluated the strategies that people use to make a rational choice. In other words, when people need to make a choice without knowing "all" of the options beforehand, how do they do it? The researchers noted two prevailing strategies:

Maximizing - using this strategy, people try to obtain all the possible information they can and choose the very best option. Maximizers heartily agree with statements such as "I never settle for second best", and "no matter how satisfied I am with my job, it's only right for me to be on the lookout for better opportunities". Essentially, they want to maximize their choice. So, they search as hard as they can, for as long as they can, gain a ton of experience, and don't settle for anything less than the very best.
Satisficing - using this strategy, people first decide on what features they need to be satisfied. Satisficiers select specific criteria and set-points to decide on what they want before they start looking at the choices. Therefore, rather than searching extensively to determine the absolute best, they are able to select the first option that "satisfies" their pre-determined, specific standards.
The researchers then set out to look at each group's decision-making outcomes. Would maximizers and satisficers be different in how happy, successful, and satisfied they were? Indeed, the researchers did find differences.

Put simply, maximizers did not fare well. Despite society's general encouragement for "maximization", it didn't work well for the individuals who used it. Across several studies, maximizers were more depressed, perfectionistic, and had more life regrets. They were also less satisfied with their consumer decisions, more concerned with social comparison, and less happy. In contrast, satisficers were generally happy, optimistic, had good self-esteem, and were satisfied with life. They had found what they wanted, needed, and what satisfied them.

Pretty compelling differences... It is amazing how much influence a decision-making strategy has on happiness, satisfaction, and regret!

What About Relationship Choices?

There are many people in the world following a "maximizer" strategy for finding love. In fact, one of the statements Schwartz, et al. (2002) used to identify maximizers was "I treat relationships like clothing: I expect to try a lot on before I get the perfect fit". If this applies to you, then you may want to reconsider the approach.

Put simply, trying to find the absolute "best" in love is an impossible task. There are simply too many people. No matter how much information and experience you obtain, there will always be somebody "better" on some level out there. So, people spend their lives looking for that perfect someone, never find them, and face the regret of maximizers. Or, they jump from partner to partner, "trading up", and never find satisfaction. In the end, they pass up a lot of good potential partners in the process too.

Instead, the solution is to decide for yourself what you really need in a partner to be happy. What are your specific criteria? How will you know when they are satisfied and met? Forget finding the best in everything...what are the essentials that you need to be content? Also, disregard what everyone else has and wants - go with your own thoughts and feelings. Make a small list of the very important, deal-breaker, must-have items. Then, only look for those!

By approaching relationships with a satisficing mindset, you can actually get what you really want and need. You can stop chasing the "next best thing", or the impossible dream of perfection. You can actually find a satisfying partner with the essential features you need. All it takes is knowing, specifically, what you really want. Then, be happy with the first person that fits the criteria.

On a final note, if you're pursuing this satisficing strategy, then it may benefit you to avoid maximizers too. If your potential partner "treats relationships like clothing", then it might bewise to move on to another choice yourself. It is not a recipe for success to build a relationship with someone who is always looking to trade up and doesn't know what they need to be satisfied. So, give yourself the best chance of relationship success by not being that person - and not dating them either!

Conclusion

Having a satisfying relationship doesn't require finding the perfect partner. All it takes is using the right strategy to choose a good one. That starts with deciding on the few, specific things that you really need a partner to possess. Look for those features and be happy with the first person who has them all. Don't become a perfectionist looking for better. Don't worry about what your friends have. Just enjoy the fact that you have somebody who has what you need to be satisfied - and ignore the rest.

Source: https://LagChat.com/view-article?id=10