₦airaland Forum

I'm married and talking from experience Sincerly no one can help you except God himself just dont loose your virginity to anyone yet but pray over it let God decide for you and be rest assured you can't fail will Him.Life time partner is very difficult but with God it's easy.

Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

BathingSoap:
This might be a long read guys pls don't be angry with me. I have been a guest on Nland for a while but decided to create this monicker for this purpose.

So this all started when i entered the university in fact i'm now in my finals but as it is now i'm laying on my bed facing the ceiling and we have a test going on in class, i have missed about 3 tests since this semester started but i don't seem to feel alarmed by that, i'll probably have an extra year too the way i'm going but i can't just push myself to get up and read and to wash my uniform being a law student.

Now i feel this is partially because of the fact that i have come to believe school is not for me...i have never been a bright student right from primary school...when i entered the uni as a freshman i had the dreams every fresher had which is to come out with a first class and i worked very hard for it, went for night class every day without sleeping even for a minute, but any time grades came out i always come out at the bottom of the food chain.

I have tried hard to demystify the exact cause of my failure in academics but found no answers, could it be my hand writing, or i don't understand what i read or i'm not good in cramming textbook case laws and sections, or could it be because my brain is just not acclimatized to school and the rigours that come with it.

I have put in effort to handle all these supposed problems but none if them have come to fruition, even to the point that i bought a handwriting book to help improve my handwriting ...yeah i was that desperate



Reality dawned on me tho when my year 2 and 3 results were nothing to write home about...then i started losing interest...hardly go to class even though there is a test...i always say to myself stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results so if i can read and study so much without being able to secure even a C in my courses then i'd rather not try.

Its funny tho that in my year 4 i made more than half a million rendering freelance services to people online...this also fueled my loss of interest in school, I'd rather be committed to something that pays me. I feel bad for mum tho, she put in all this effort to make me learned and give me a good future and she has already started saving for my law school but i know deep down that i am a nut case and can't ever compete with my peers academically.

I have tried my best in fact i'm crying right now, school has always made me feel like a lesser human, i always come out last...i really don't know what to do with life anymore ...i mean why is life so partial and unfair, why can't i be like those bright students...

I brought this here because i believe my Nairaland family will help me get through this terrible faze of my life.

I'll really appreciate if more people get to see this

Thank you

From my point on view you are talented in other aspect but not in academics.Life is not a straight line.I will advice you to do anything it takes to finish your degree because it will be an advantage for you in future.

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